I wasn't sure how, but I managed to sleep despite my clouded thoughts. The next morning came in a flash. The news wouldn't stop blabbering about how the first snow of the year had fallen over night. The neighborhood kids were playing, and frolicking about in it. Watching them brought back fond memories of my childhood when I used to do the same with my family. I wanted to join them. A hand unexpectedly landed on my shoulder, and I turned to see my sister smiling at me. I looked away quickly, and stared out the window.

“You want to go play don't you Soojung-ah?”

“..Yeah.”

She yanked my wrist, and dragged me out into the cold flurry of snow fall. I was hit in the back with a snowball shortly after. I squealed loudly, and I could hear Jessica laughing. I rolled up a ball of snow, and chucked it at her arm making her scream. I couldn't help but laugh. It didn't take long for our back yard to become a snowball war zone. My lazy sister got tired after throwing a few, and started to mold some snow into an odd shape.

“Remember when we used to build snowmen every year?”

“How could I forget?” I smiled. She seemed to be struggling with what seemed to be a snow man, so I lent her a hand. The snow man came out a lot faster that way, although it was still weirdly deformed. We took pictures in front of it together, and ended up laughing when we saw how terrible it looked in the photos. In the midst of our laughter, she pushed me over into a mound of snow, and laid beside me. I thought perhaps we would make snow angels, until she pulled me into her arms. I squirmed, and struggled to escape from her arms. She looked upset by this.

“You're acting so strange lately. What's the matter with you?” I felt my heart sink, and my stomach start to hurt. I couldn't hide it from her forever. I was going to have to tell her about it eventually. Why not today?

“Unnie...promise you won't hate me if I tell you.” I managed to say. I was feeling unbelievably nervous. My heart was racing, and I felt like I could break out in a sweat at any moment.

“I could never hate you.” I swallowed hard, and took a deep breath. She raised an eyebrow, obviously having not a clue on what I was about to say.

“I like you...not in a sisterly way. I have a crush on you. I know it's weird..but I can't stop it. I've tried..I'm sorry..”

She said nothing in response. I knew it would be that way. She pulled away from me slowly, and then stood up. She didn't look at me once, and walked back inside the house. I kept laying there in the snow. I stared at the sky, and sighed deeply. Things between us would surely be quite awkward now. She didn't have to accept my feelings, acknowledging them would have been more than enough. I guess even then, I'm asking for too much.