long awaited update that shouldn't really be long awaited 'cause this isn't that good.

I'm serious. i'm begging you, if you don't want to end up asking me a ton of questions about what this is or what happened or why or whatever, just don't read it. it's confusing enough as it is. the beginning and ending were somewhat what i wanted, then in the middle, it's all...WTF happened =____=?

influenced by the most amazing song ever, like whoa, by aly & aj ^^<3 i absolutely ADORE it, no matter what wrong way you guys want to interpret it ^^<333 muahahahahaha.

Life is good I can’t complain.

I mean I would but no one’s listening.

Myungsoo did try keeping a diary once.

                He had lost it in the sixth grade and from then on, he just figured that God didn’t want anybody to listen to his problems. Anybody or anything, really.

                It wasn’t like his life was bad, it really wasn’t. There were just some days when he wanted to steal a gun and shoot everybody in sight, that was how horrible it got.

                But he didn’t complain, he never did, because nobody was even bothering to listen.

“God damn it!” He hissed, staring at his cut finger. Myungsoo’s eyes flickered from the blade set upon the cutting board, then the blood seeping out.

                Rolling his eyes, he discarded the stick onions and turned to the cupboard where the band-aids were usually placed – in his household, they were used a little more than often.

                “What happened?” His older brother’s voice called out from the stairs. “I heard you shouting.”

                Myungsoo let out a nervous laugh that Sunggyu could hear, quickly taping up his damaged finger. He couldn’t let his hyung see it, everything would just turn out like all the thousands of other times he tried telling Sunggyu that he was hurt.

                “It’s just a little scratch,” Sunggyu would say. “It’s only bleeding a little. Remember when I broke my back? Yeah, you can scream when that happens.”

                It wasn’t that Myungsoo didn’t want Sunggyu to think poorly of him, it was more he didn’t want Sunggyu to shame him off without even trying. He wasn’t going to let his issues out just to get scolded at.

                “Dropped the knife!” He weakly replied, catching Sunggyu’s eyes as his older brother skipped down the stairs. “Do you know when Dad’s coming back?”

                “Oh, you mean to go to your math Olympiad?” Sunggyu blindly asked, grabbing a peach from the refrigerator when his little brother was clearly making dinner. “Yeah, he won’t be able to make it.”

                He walked over to ruffle Myungsoo’s hair, giving their ‘meal’ a slight disgusted look. “Don’t worry, Dad didn’t go to my math Olympiad either.”

                Yeah, because YOU didn’t even go! Myungsoo wanted to holler, but he knew that Sunggyu would just counter back with the millions of times their father never came to his plays and musicals. “I-I know. It wasn’t really important anyway, another stupid math competition.”

                “That’s the way to look at it,” Sunggyu winked, taking a bit of the peach before skipping back up the stairs.

                “You gonna eat with me?” Myungsoo felt the need to shout at his brother, just for the preferences.

                “No,” Sunggyu called back in possibly the quietest voice ever. Myungsoo had always wanted to tell his brother to maybe, just maybe talk a little louder because he was downstairs, but he knew Sunggyu would just come up with some logical reason why that was idiotic. Had to save his voice for something else, probably.

                “Gonna eat out with Woohyun, Dongwoo, and Hoya.”

                Myungsoo bit back a bitter smile, nodding to nobody as he scolded himself. Sunggyu’s popularity had been rising lately ever since he started going out with that grease ball and he’d been skipping out on dinner with Myungsoo. Not that the younger boy had minded, he didn’t, he just wanted Sunggyu to know that he cared enough to make dinner.

                He shouted a slightly-off “Okay” back, then looked from the cutting board to his finger, only sighing and throwing the already ruined food away.

                The money used to pay for this stuff was his own anyways, so it didn’t really bother anybody. He’d managed to get a job lugging some storage materials a few years back which was actually a good thing because it included getting money and working out, something that he never had the time for.

                Groaning, Myungsoo went back to open the drawer and grab another bowl of ramen, probably the fifth he’d had this week.

                He went over to boil the water when he heard Sunggyu shout “BYE!” from upstairs. Myungsoo let out a little lopsided grin, knowing that his older brother sneaked out the window instead of in the front door because it left a rebel impression on Woohyun, Dongwoo, and Hoya, who were probably waiting on floor ground for Sunggyu.

                Making sure that the stove was on hot enough to heat the water but not enough to burn down the entire house, Myungsoo went up the stairs and into his brother’s room.

                It had been a habit, eventually, for Myungsoo to always come up here and close the windows for Sunggyu after the older boy had left. He’d realized that he had to do so after Sunggyu’s homework went randomly floating out, only to be drenched in dew in the late morning and Myungsoo earning a well-underserved scolding.

                At it, he subconsciously picked up the random loose papers that had been taking up more room that needed, making sure that every single paper was blank before he tossed it in. He knew how pissed a person could get when an important paper was just tossed away without any acknowledgment to what was on it.

                He’d known not to yell at his mother when she threw away his forty-page science essay. She was tired and spared the time to clean his room and besides, it technically was his fault for leaving it laying on the ground like that. 

                After deeming the place clean enough for a person to live it, Myungsoo clapped his hands together. Maybe if –

                From downstairs, he heard a loud, clear ringing sound. The doorbell.

                Maybe Sunggyu had forgotten his something…no, he wouldn’t dare ring on the doorbell, it wouldn’t make him look cool in front of his friends.

                Pizza, maybe? Maybe?

                As he jumped down each step to get to the door, Myungsoo looked outside at the freezing cold weather. Despite how idiotic Sunggyu looked, the guy knew how to be prepared. He wouldn’t forget his jacket.

                Though somehow, his friends were a bit stupider.

                The boy that stood in front of Myungsoo was dressed in a v-neck white t-shirt with a rushed coat over it, pink-striped-black sweatpants, and shoes that had obviously been shoved onto his feet for they weren’t even tied or fully on.

                His teeth were chattering, but he managed to hold the black jacket that was in his hands tightly and say, “Is Hoya here?”

                “Hoya?” Myungsoo thought about the name for a second, finally realizing who this tall boy was talking about. “Oh, you mean Lee Howon? Yeah, he left with my brother and a few friends a few minutes ago.”

                “I was late?!” He screeched, throwing his head back. “And Mom made me find the stupid guy’s address and run Hoya’s jacket over! I’m going to kill somebody, I swear.”

                “Oh, I’m sorry,” Myungsoo said quietly. From the kitchen, he heard the pot begin to hiss, signaling that the water for his ramen was finished.

                “Are you making food?!” The strange boy demanded, throwing the extra black jacket over himself to prevent his body from freezing up.

                “Um…yeah?”

                “Good God, I’ve been begging my mom for food for hours but she’s too busy doing those stupid workout videos. Mind if I steal a bit of yours before I die of hunger and cold?”

                Myungsoo wrinkled his nose, not sure of what to do. There was a random kid in front of his house that had run probably a long way to give Hoya – somebody that wasn’t even here – his jacket in the freezing cold, and to top that, he hadn’t even been fed.

                If Myungsoo had learned anything through his years of giving in, it was not to judge people.

                “Sure,” he shrugged, opening the door wider. “Just don’t…do anything bad. I’m Kim Myungsoo.”

                The boy smiled, though Myungsoo figured it would’ve been a lot wider if ice wasn’t beginning to prick at his lips. “I’m Lee Sungyeol.”

Sitting across from Sungyeol and still on his first bowl of ramen, Myungsoo learned something.

                This boy, he was the polar opposite of Myungsoo.

                He whined about everything, everything, every little detail, from how annoying the scratch on his dinner table was or how his father never slept or how nobody fed him or anything. He could look at something and just rant on and on about it.

                “Do you…do you ever stop talking?” Myungsoo asked, not even feeling bad. That was probably his first complaint since the seventh grade, but he really, really didn’t care.

                “Talking? No, I love talking,” Sungyeol said, cutting an apple with a knife that he’d taken off of Myungsoo’s kitchen set. “This apple is freaking hard. And this knife. Have you not cut yourself on it yet?”

                “Oh, I did,” Myungsoo nonchalantly answered, recognizing the holder. “Just a few…hours ago.”

                …Hours.

                Sungyeol had been here for two hours.

                And he hadn’t even shut up yet.

                “See,” Sungyeol started, biting on a piece that he’d just cut, “this is why knives should be illegalized. Apples should come cut instead, and everything else in this world that’s pointy. Knives kill people.”

                “…But…just a few minutes ago you said that everybody should have guns,” Myungsoo tried, surprised that he still remembered that.

                “Well, duh.”

                “…But they kill people too. Like knives.”

                “You need guns for protection.” Sungyeol dropped the knife for a second, finishing up his next piece of cut apple. “For example, if a random guy comes into your house, you could just stand behind a wall, shoot them, and BAM they’re dead. With knives, you have to physically walk up to them and stab them. By that time, you’d be dead.”

                “You make no sense to me, you know that?”

                “My mom says that a lot,” Sungyeol shrugged. “I don’t really get why. Everything I say is perfectly logical. Oh God, why does this random piece of apple taste so salty? Did you spill salt water on it or something?”

                Myungsoo just sighed, not bothering to answer the question. He probably did spill salt water on it when he tried refilling his mother’s cup for her to gurgle with, but like he was actually going to tell Sungyeol that.

                “So, how about you?” Sungyeol said out of the blue.

                “Me?”

                “Yeah, you. You’re probably the first person that hasn’t told me to shut up in this amount of time yet. So tell me, Kim Myungsoo. What do you hate about life?”

                “Hate? About life?” Myungsoo made a weird face before replying, “…Nothing.”

                “Oh c’mon, you have to be complaining about something.” Sungyeol finished the last bit of apple, throwing the sharp knife into the sink with perfect accuracy. “I’ve seen you around school, you know. You’re that random kid that puts all the library books back in place when nobody’s watching…well, except for me. Or else how would I know? Oh, right. And my friend, you know the girly kid, Sungjong? He said he saw you sleeping in the classroom once. Wanted to talk to you or something, but you seemed too peaceful. Do you not sleep?”

                Overwhelmed by the speech that was just aiming towards him, Myungsoo raised his eyebrows. “I have…to stay up and finish my homework.”

                “You actually do your homework?” To Sungyeol, doing homework was something more than a miracle.

                “…Well, yeah.”

                “Then what do you do when you get home? Sleep? Wait, no, or you wouldn’t be sleeping at school. Unless –“

                “I get busy when I get home,” Myungsoo interrupted, not wanting Sungyeol to talk anymore. “I have work to go to. And then I have to make dinner.”

                “…Well if that’s what you eat for dinner, it obviously doesn’t take very long to make,” Sungyeol said, eyeing the still-full bowl of ramen.

                “Just leave me alone,” he grumbled, not sure if he was even in the sane position to argue with this guy.

                “I’ve been here for as long as I can remember, and the only thing you can complain about is me,” Sungyeol rolled his eyes. “There has to be something bad about your life.”

                “Life is good, I can’t complain,” Myungsoo said, fiddling with his chopsticks and not bothering to look up. “I mean I would, but no one’s listening.”

                “But…I’m listening,” Sungyeol replied back, obviously confused at the clever quote.

                “Well you don’t count because all you listen to is yourself.”

                Somehow, a combination of that and Myungsoo’s starter left the talkatively tall boy silent.

Two weeks later

Myungsoo was one of those people that hung out with everybody popular, but the popularity just never rubbed onto him.

                Part of the reason was that he didn’t even try, but Hoya didn’t try either and he was probably the most asked out guy in the entire school.

                Or maybe it was because he was always…the background guy without even trying. The girls would think of him as their little brother because anything they asked, he’d do.

                They were busy, he knew that. They had things to do with their lives, goals. He didn’t have one in mind, so maybe he might as well help somebody along the way.

                “Yeah,” Sungyeol had snorted when Myungsoo had told him this, “because giving the girl your only pencil would help her reach her goal.”

                “It might! If she didn’t, she could’ve failed that test. And what happens if the teacher bumps up the percentage of the grade to, like, 99% of the total grade and she fails school forever? She wouldn’t get accepted into a college, leading her to not getting a job.”

                “You’re too nice for your own good,” Sungyeol shuddered. “The offer’s still in place to help you if you need it.”

                “I don’t need help,” Myungsoo said, as if it were something disgusting.

                “Holy!” A voice screamed from the side.

                Turning to the direction, Myungsoo stared at his older brother, Woohyun, Dongwoo, and Hoya. “Oh…hey.”

                “Is this why you weren’t at lunch with us?” Hoya asked as if it were something amazing. He walked over to his little brother, throwing an arm over the boy (although it failed because Sungyeol was a good forty feet taller). “Ey, Sungyeol, you finally made a friend that could keep up with your idioticity?”

                “First of all,” Sungyeol glared, “that’s not a word. And second, I have friends!”

                “Yeah, heard the Sungjong kid ditched you for that one girl over at the all-female school next door,” Dongwoo grinned in a friendly manner.

                “I’m happy for him,” Sungyeol insisted. “Why do you guys always pick on me?”

                “We’re not picking on you,” Hoya laughed, about to ruffle his younger brother’s hair before Sungyeol tip-toed up high. He turned to Myungsoo saying, “How can you stand him?”

                “I don’t even know myself,” Myungsoo said, sticking his tongue out at Sungyeol.

                “No, I think they’re a perfect match,” Sunggyu laughed. He took a few steps over to Myungsoo, being carefully trailed by Woohyun. “They’re both quiet and do everything asked of them.”

                Myungsoo’s eyebrows scrunched up, because that would be the last way anybody would describe Lee Sungyeol.

                Quiet?

                Did everything asked of him?

                “Sungyeol –“

                “Is awesome!” The tall boy finished, stepping out of Hoya’s way. “Hey Myungsoo, I remember, there’s something really cool outside that I need to show you!”

                “Show me –“

                Myungsoo was interrupted by a loud “BYE!” from Sungyeol, who latched onto his wrist and ran outside the door, dragging him along with it. The other four stood watching, freaked out by their brothers and future brother-in-laws.

“Remember when I met you?” Sungyeol asked, fiddling with his uniform button. “Two weeks ago? That night?”

                “Yeah…” Myungsoo trailed off, still confused as to how anybody could call Lee Sungyeol “quiet”.

                “I was just so pissed, I blurted everything out right then and there.” Sungyeol took in a deep breath, looking across the meadow. “My dad always told me that you could never make it into society if all you did was talk and did nothing. It’s just…I was sick, I caught this horrible flu a few weeks ago. I hadn’t been at school for days and when I finally get better and don’t feel like throwing my guts up, my mom sends me out on the coldest day of the year to give my brother is stupid jacket! Like, does she not care about how I was feeling?”

                Myungsoo, sensing that Sungyeol wasn’t done talking, stayed silent.

                “Then I realized, it was my fault. For days straight I kept acting like I wasn’t sick even if I was, I kept making Hoya and my mom’s lunch for them, I kept cleaning the house even if I was close to just dying in a little corner all by myself. My mom…she didn’t know I just got better because I’d been acting like I was fine for weeks. She probably just thought that I just wasn’t too fond of going to school.”

                He stopped for a second to catch his breath, and that was when it may have struck Myungsoo somewhat.

                Sungyeol looked so out of breath, like he’d never talked this much before. Two weeks ago he was complaining and taking long pauses between his phrases to eat something...more maybe it was to stretch out his vocal chords somewhat.

                “And then after hours of searching in Hoya’s room for Sunggyu’s address, I have to find it and run all the way to the house. I was literally running on an empty stomach and felt like killing myself, alright? Mom never feeds me because I always feed myself.”

                After a good four minutes of nothing, Myungsoo spoke up, “You must’ve been really mad.”

                “I wasn’t mad…” Sungyeol said, his voice quiet and seeming as if he’d just regretted everything he had said before. “I was mad at myself, yeah, for not telling anybody else I was mad. Then I got to you, and I could just rant on forever with you because you didn’t know me and you couldn’t judge me. But then…you surprised me.”

                “Surprised you?” Nothing, nothing could be more surprising than finding out that non-stop-ranting Lee Sungyeol here was actually someone that never ranted.

                “You’re even worse than I am.” Sungyeol let out a laugh, a tiny little one, but a laugh nonetheless. “You actually accepted that there wasn’t anything bad about life, and even if there was, you couldn’t talk to it with anybody about it.”

                “And you’re different?”

                “I just thought there wasn’t anything bad about life.” He blinked a bit, then rephrased his wording. “Maybe I did. After I talked to you. You notice the little things that piss you off without even trying, you know? Like the way your dinner chair rocked too much. That annoyed me to no end. And how your window looked like it was cleaned with dishwashing soap. I wanted to kill whoever did that.”

                “I did them.”

                “Exactly. I realized that after I figured out I was pissed. I looked and was like, hey, Myungsoo probably did those because I reckoned nobody else would dare touch the disgusting windows.”

                “But me.”

                “Exactly.”

                Another long pause, and Sungyeol spoke up again. “I still don’t get it, though, why you haven’t burst yet.”

                “Burst?”
                “I did that night. When are you ever going to?” Sungyeol turned to Myungsoo on the bench, looking at him.

                “Not gonna burst,” Myungsoo said confidently. He scoot himself closer to Sungyeol, thinking a bit.

                “Really?”

                “Not gonna turn out like you.” As Myungsoo said it, Sungyeol scoffed, turning his head the other way.

                “I’m not all that bad. I’ll still…be me. Just not around you, so get ready to hear me scream about how ugly your hair is 24/7,” Sungyeol called.

                “Sure,” Myungsoo shrugged, bringing his legs up to the bench and sitting the other way so that his back was against Sungyeol’s.

                They stayed like that for a long while, Myungsoo still trying to let “Lee Sungyeol is actually quiet” seep in and Sungyeol still trying to believe that he broke.

                “…Your life still ?” Sungyeol said a few minutes later.

                “Nope, it’s still good. And I still can’t complain,” Myungsoo replied, a small smile appearing on his lips.

                Turning around so he was facing directly ahead, Sungyeol asked, “Aren’t you going to finish that quote?”

                “Nope, don’t have to.” Myungsoo knowingly let his cheeks taint pink as he fell into Sungyeol’s lap.

*shrugs* in my defense, i did warn you all. if you did read it then...*claps* YOU JUST SURVIVED THE REASON WHY EVIE DOESN'T WRITE WHEN SHE'S PISSED OFF~!!

baekyeol and woogyu chapter coming up<333 please look forward to it ^^

and if anybody here ships baekyeol, tell me what's up with the fanwar going on in tumblr between krisyeol and baekyeol. seriously. they make myungyeol and myungjong shippers seem like bestest friends and soulmates or something. i'm not even kidding. >.> T______T no seriously. i'm not even kidding.

but on better terms. my half birthday passed on oct. 29 so now i'm officially 16 & a half, meaning i got to start driving lessons. yeah. freaking driving is the scariest thing i've ever done and and and YEAH CARS ARE SCARY.

C'MON YEOLLIE WE'LL FAIL THIS DRIVING TEST TOGETHER<3333 ;DDDDD

well~ byebye ^^ hope you had a good wednesday which reminds me, IT'S ONLY FACKING WEDNESDAY. asdfghjkl killmehnow. 

[[c:17]]<-- though half of them were from the same people, LIKE WHOA GUISE RECORD.<333 ^^