There is a little lodge in the back yard in his home. A small wooden house that they used before when he and his hyung still a little boy, when they played house in the summer, for camp. The house that like a pirate house that his late father made for him. He’d never go there again after his parents death, it’s just too hurtful for him to go there, too much memories of his happy childhood, with his parents.

          But the lodge never demolished. His grandparents must be feel bad if they have to destroyed the house that their child made. So it’s still there, abandoned and forgotten. His gramps used to clean and make sure all of the electricity still run well in that, but when his gramps died, no one ever go there again. Just like him, it’s must be too hurtful for his grams to go there.

          Hoya running to the back yard. With wishful heart that he can see her there. Panting he tried to catch his breath, then he looked upon it. The lamp is on, so there’s must be a person. He looked at that lodge. It’s still looks like before. It’s seems so small now, before it’s just looks so big for him. It’s still stand firmed, untouchable, despite all the weather these years. Hesitantly he move forward, his hand in the handle. There’s someone there, he’s sure, and it must be Eunji. But still he feels a little scared in his heart. It’s been a long time since his parents death, he don’t think that he unloved either, his family always loved him. But still he did feels it lost. No one could ever fills that empty spot in his heart. Until Eunji and their unborn child came to his life.

          Then he heard her sneezing. It must be cold inside, the warmer machine is broken, he knows that. Moreover, the lodge is designed to used in the summer. And her dress is too thin to wears in this cold autumn night. The thought of her being sick make him made up his mind. He opened the door to find Eunji there. Sit in the small corner of that lodge, in the small sofa that he or Sunggyu used before. Her legs crossed.

          He looked at her. She don’t realize that someone came in. Her eyes closed, but he can see the trace of tears there. Her hands hold her mp3 player, he don’t even know that she brought it. For some odd reason, she looked calmed there. Her breath looked so steady, until he thought that she’s fall asleep.

          Slowly he approached her, try to not startled her. Bent his body, he reach out his hand to carry her, when suddenly she opened her eyes, perplexed.

          “What are you doing here!”, she asked him, her high tone stern, “What the hell did you try to doing?”, she pulled her hand out of his reach.

          “It’s cold in here, Eunji-a. Don’t sleep here. Let’s go back to our home, okay?” He still do mad at her, at himself, he still crazily jealous about what happened earlier with Myeongsoo. But he can’t denied his heart. He just too worried now. He just too care to being mad at her anymore. He don’t want anything happened to her. And yes, he feel tired from all of these tug of war, this continually fight with her.

          “Don’t bother me. I don’t want to see you anymore”, Eunji said. Tears that already stopped before flowing once again, without she even realize. She did want to hate him, she did want to erased all of her feeling about him. She tired of all of this. Playing cold, playing ignorance, acted that she don’t care at all about him, about all that he’s been doing. But she can’t. She can’t stop being bothered about him. Always wondering about him, what’s he’s doing, with who is he now. She can’t stop waiting for him. She can’t stop her heart for being hurt like before. She can’t stop her to love him.

          “Eunji-a...”, he hold her hands.

          “Stop it, oppa. Please stop it now. Don’t acted like you do care about me anymore. Don’t treat me good at all. I don’t want that hurt again. Those useless waiting, those meaningless feeling. No, I don’t want to fall in the same place twice. “

“Don’t hold of me if it’s all about guilt, I’m already accepted it, I’m already release her. So please stop all of this. You can move on with anyone that you loved. I won’t hold of you”, she sobs.

          Hoya kneel in front of her , then he released her hands. How can’t he looked her properly before. She’s also tired of all this war between them. She’s also hurt. Are all this time she waited for me too? Are all this time she think that I’m just feeling guilty about her? Just that?

Hoya looked at her, searched her eyes, then he realized it now. That she’s outside when they’re at the party, is because of him and Hyuna. There’s nothing happened between them though. Is that means she still love him too? Just like him that loved her. And just like his case with Hyuna. Can he hope and believed the same thing happened between Eunji and Myeongsoo too? It’s just in his blind jealousy. In his wild imagination. In his unsecurity about her.

She wake up from the sofa, “I guess we’re done here. Please release us from all of this, it’s just left bitter feeling for both of us, nothing left more from this marriage. Don’t feel guilty, it’s not all your fault. I’m understand now.”, she said with her back to him. She can’t hold it anymore. This marriage is too pain for her, for both of them. She just want to end all of this torture. She thinks that she will leave, left from his life with an acknowledge. That she had loved him, and she still love him even now.

Then suddenly she felt he grabbed her and hugged her tightly from the back.  Naturally she resist. She tried to released herself from him. He release her, turned her around until she can face him and stare at her closely. She just shocked with his sudden action, his sudden swing of mood. He don’t looked that angry anymore. His gaze just make her froze.

He hold her shoulder, locked her petite figure before him. She still froze. Slowly, hesitantly, he leaned towards her. He make a decision to let his intuition take a lead now. He moved closer. She moved backward. He moved again, yet she moved backward once again.

He keeps moving forward, until her back face the closed door behind her. She trapped under his gazed. Her head said to run, to avoid him all that she can. But her heart keeps beating hard. The butterfly in her stomach going crazy everytime his face moved closer to her. Every inch of her body waiting for him. Frozen and waited for him to melted her away.

Hoya just stared at her. Her round eyes that stops tearing from shocked. Her eyes that until now can’t he uncover yet, can’t he read as always. Two beautiful orbs that remains as mistery for him. That always made him curious about her thought, her feeling, her heart. Her eyes that always mesmerized him, every now and then. He never want to lost all of it. Never again. He gazed at her closely, while he can see himself at hers. He tried to tell her how much he loved her. Is she can saw it in his eyes, is she can felt it? Then he closed his eyes. And kissed her.

Eunji perplexed, for a while she frantically shakes her head to avoid him. But he still hang on there. Gently but still with force. He kissed her more deeply, until she let her lips parted for him. Until she let her heart take a lead before her head. The feeling that she knew she missed. But too afraid to think about the consequence.

It’s doesn’t matter now. The anger from their fight, the pain that always in their heart for all these years. Bitter heart and longing from the one that couldn’t express it well. And the one that too scared to let it shown. All of those feeling melted before their yearning heart for each other. When they learned to be honest with their heart.

The kisses going deeper until they both parted to catch some breath. She opened her eyes that she closed unknowingly. Eunji still looked a little shocked though, but Hoya didn’t let her hesitate anymore. He kissed her again, more passionately this time. Conveyed all his feeling toward her. His longing for her. His heart. His love.

She gasped, for the second time, but accept it this time. She let him explored her, and let herself explored him the same way. Lips by lips, tongue by tongue. Match and dance with each other. Raced perfectly together. She raise her hands and snake it to his hair, softly caressed it, even without her realized.

She surrendered. Knelling under her own heart. For only heaven knows that deep down, how much she missed him. How much she still love him. Too much that she’s afraid to even think of that. And when he kissed her. Gently. Passionately. She can feel it somehow. His longing for her.

She submit herself in his embrace. Lost herself wholeheartedly to his hand. Until the time he let her off. Hoya looked at Eunji gently. Gazed through her beautiful orbs, that still moist from the tears earlier. She looked confused. Her plump lips swelled. Her cheeks red from heat between them. She averted her eyes from him and cast down her head. Hoya slowly lift her chin, make her eyes looked at him again. He cupped her face gently.

“I love you, Jung Hyerim. I do and I always do”, and with that confession he laid his lips upon her once again.

...

Sorry for the late update, ><

Have a fun reading all, GBU

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