"Aron?"

The older looked up from his book. He saw Jonghyun staring at him with his deep brown eyes. "Yes?" 

JR fiddled around with the remote in his hands. "Do you love me?" 

Aron almost burst out laughing. "What?" he surpressed some giggles at JR's silly question.

"Do you love me?" The leader asked again, this time more nervous. Aron cleared his throat, trying not to laugh. 

Aron  scooted over on the couch and patting his lap, gesturing the younger to rest his head in Aron's lap. He closed his book and threw it carelessly on the coffee table. JR hesitated, but plopped down on the couch. He gently placed his head ontu Aron's lap. "So, do you? You love me right?" he looked at Aron with such an innocent face.

Aron smiled warmly. "Yes, you silly pabo. Why wouldn't I?" his hand JR's silky dark hair. The leader seemed to let out a breath of relief. 

JR's tension soon filled his face again. "W-what if I told you that..." he tore his gaze away from Aron's. Aron frowned. "What is it, Jonggie?" he stopped playing with JR's hair and was now gripping the younger's hands within his. JR forced himself to not look at Aron in fear that the other's gaze would make him break down. Instead, he intensely looked at his boyfriend's hands, analyzing the smallest details that he had never noticed before. How the swirls on his fingerpads looked like the @ symbol. How well-trimmed his fingernails were. And Aron hyung's hands were so soft, making them comfortable to hold. His slender fingers and the way they moved when he placed them on JR's cheeks so he-

"Jonggie? Are you okay?" 

Aron's smooth voice snapped Jonghyun out of his daydream. JR bit his lip, nodding afterwards. "Are you sure?" Aron asked again, getting more concerned. After another nod, Aron narrowed his eyes at the other rapper. "I don't believe you. Not for a second." This made JR lower his eyes.

"Jonghyun..what's wrong? You can tell me." Aron assured kindly, letting go of JR's hands to lightly cup both his cheeks. JR's eyes began to water. "You won't be mad will you?" he questioned almost inaudibaly, but it was still heard.

Aron the younger's cheek with one hand. "No."

JR grabbed one of Aron's hands off of his face and slowly pulled it under his thermal shirt. Aron was suprised at first, but once his fingertips brushed against the awfully familiar feeling of countless numbers of raw cuts on JR's side, the leader started crying. He roughly yanked his hands away from Aron's and covered his face. "H-hyung..I'm sorry! I-I..I don't know wh-"

Aron silenced the younger's words by pulling JR up into a sitting position, with JR sitting in his lap like a child. He pulled his hands out from underneath JR's shirt. "Kim Jonghyun." he said sternly. JR shook his head, his face still blocked by his hands as he continued to cry. "Kim. Jonghyun. Look. At. Me." Aron paused after each word. After a minute, JR slowly brought his head up and locked gazes with the older male. 

Seeing him look so torn with his soft brown eyes glazed from tears made Aron's heart crumble to pieces in a matter of seconds.

"What's wrong, Jonggie? When did you do this? You can tell me." Aron kissed JR's cheek softly, relieved to see his boyfriend's cheeks turn their familiar shade of pink. JR wiped his eyes. 

"I..I don't know." JR replied honeslty. 

Aron was puzzled. "Oh come on, you have to have a reason." 

JR paused. "Well, sometimes I miss the sensation of it." JR stated bluntly, his eyes starting watering again.

Aron frowned. "That's not a reason."

"It's the best reason I have." the leader snapped at Aron. Aron was taken back by his rudeness. Usually JR was no where near being to rude. The kid was sweet and charismitic, not rude. JR shook his head, causing his bangs to cover his right eye. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean to sound so harsh. It's just been hard for me lately."

Aron nodded in understandment. 

(A/n: Is that a word?)

JR whispered in a frightened tone, "And they're back." he pulled himself closer to Aron, slinking his hands under Aron's armpits to wrap them around  the other's back. 

"Who?" Aron asked, confused. He opened his mouth slightly and blew a puff of air to move the bangs covering JR's eye. JR gulped.

"The suicidal thoughts. The nightmares." the younger starting crying again. "What am I going to do? I've improved so much, but I'm going back  down. Why am I like this hyung? Why can't I just stay happy and be in love like a normal teenager?"

Aron's eyes softened. He kissed his boyfriend's temples. "I can't answer those questions. I can only help you." After a moment of silence, he comtinued. "If you want, we can go see Sunggyu right now." he offered.

JR nodded. "Please?" he peered at Aron with his irrisistable eyes. How could Aron say no? Aron felt stupid for not being able to help JR, but he knew Sunggyu was more helpful then himself.

"Okay. Here, put my jacket on. It's cold outside." Aron tenderly pushed JR off of his lap and grabbed his jacket laying nearby on the couch. He stood up and wrapped the thick jacket around the younger's slim frame. "I'll be back. I'm going to get my keys and another jacket for me. Stay here." JR nodded as he zipped the jacket up to his chin.

Within a few minutes, Aron returned, wearing a dark red jacket. The sound of jingling keys was heard with every step he took. JR eyed the fuzzy black scarf his hyung was carrying. Aron gave him a small smile. "You have to stay warm." he cooed, wrapping the scarf around the younger's neck.

~*~*~*~

Sunggyu's POV

"Yah! Woohyun! Give it back." I laughed as I chased Woohyun around the room as he darted around while carrying a bowl of sweets.

"No! They're mine, hyung!" I heard him shout from in the hallway. I stopped to catch my breath.  I was panting.

"Aish this kid.." I sighed, but a smile tugged in my lips. Nam Woohyun. The kid was overcoming his eating disorder and started gaining weight. He was becoming more outgoing and laughed more. His favorite food was meat or anything sweet. 

I heard Woohyun's light footsteps and the sound of a bowl being thrown in the sink. I looked up since my head was hung down. "Woohyun! Did you eat all the lemon candies already?!"

Woohyun eagerly nodded his head and opened his mouth. I saw dozens of unwrapped lemon candies in his mouth, his spit sticking to all of them. "I ate all fhe candfes, hyung!" 

I was about to reply, when I heard a firm knock on the door. "Go get it." I commanded Woohyun. He tried to pout, but it failed because of all the hard candies in his mouth. He closed his mouth and just walked away, heading to the door. I sighed. After about half a minute of soft mumbling from the other room, I heard Woohyun's loud voice. 

"Shunngyu-hyung!! Youff haf fum gueshts!" I guessed that he still had his mouth full of the candies and I wondered how I even understood him.

"Okay. Give them something to eat." I shouted back, slowly making my way to the livingroom.

"Hurry uop, Granfpa hyung. It'ssh JR-ah and Aron dongshaengshf." Woohyun screeched.

"yah! I'm right here, pabo." I rolled my eyes as I entered the livingroom. I saw Aron and JR quietly sitting the couch. Aron was a lemon candy, which I truly hoped it didn't come out of Woohyun's mouth or anything like that.

"Annyeong." I greeted the two oldest of Nu'est. Aron smiled and repeated my words back to Woohyun and I. JR looked down at his hands. 

I made eye contact with Aron, then my gaze flickered to JR, and back to Aron. The older saw this and nodded, as if saying 'Yes, we're here because of JR.'

I nodded. "Woohyun, take Aron with you to-"

"Hyung, can Aron stay?" JR polietly cut me off. I slightly frowned, but then agreed. 

"Go to my room. My iPad is in there. Stay in my room." I told Woohyun sternly. He relectantly agreed and left, still munching on his candies.

After I heard Woohyun shut my door when he entered it, I immidiantly looked at JR. "What happened this time? Did Aron do something to you?" I glared at Aron. JR shook his head, to me relief. 

"I just missed how it felt." JR stated simply. 

"I'm guessing your suicidal thoughts are back?" I said sadly. He only nodded. 

"Tell me one." 

Aron uncomfortably shuffled in his seat. JR ignored this. "Well..a few nights ago..I had a dream that I came to the very top of your apartment and jumped down. I remember when I was falling, I felt a moment of..ecstasy and freedom. I liked how it felt." 

Aron didn't take this too well. He kept shifting around uncomfortably and nervously rubbed his neck. I, however, nodded in understandment. "Tell me another one." 

Aron quietly sighed, getting a dark glare from his boyfriend. I could easily tell that Aron didn't like hearing these thoughts. It disturbed him.

"Last week, I had a dream that I jumped in front of a train." 

This struck me especially hard. I remember the first time I met JR. It was at the trainstation, I thought he was just an average person that had his average troubles in life. 

Wow. I was wrong. 

He nearly commited suicide in front of me. To this day, no matter how hard I try to forget it, I can't force myself to erase the memory.

JR must have saw the surprise flash my eyes, for he bit his lip. "Just like the day we met, huh Hyung?" he asked quietly. 

I didn't fully hear him, seeing as I was floating away in my own thoughts. 

"JR.." I began. "Did Aron ever mention anything about a rehabilitation center to you?" I suddenly asked. 

Aron smacked his forehead, signaling that that idiot forgot to tell JR months ago about going to rehab to help him with his self-harm. The youngest frowned and shook his head.

"Okay. We're going to send you to a rehab center. Whether you like it or not."