I saw them. I saw them both.

He was laying beside her, his big brown eyes focused on her. He had a look in his eyes that made him look like he was head-over-heels for her.

And the truth was; he is.

He loves her ever so much. He loves her shiny yellow hair. Her green eyes tinted with orange, yellow-gold, and dark blue. He loves her graceful and slender body. He loves the way she walks with her head held high. Although she may be naggy, she has much confidence; nothing like me. I am just a burden to him. She loves him of course. She loves his charming laugh and his friendly eyes. His wonderful smile. She loves everything that I love about him. I see them. The way they look at each other is wild and lustful and so in love. He smiles at her. She winks and rolls on top of him, leaning in to kiss him. He accepts .

I have to close my eyes to not see the images that crush my heart so much. But all I see in the darkness of my vision is them making love. The two of them happily taking romantic dates. The two of them loving each other.

He doesn't belong to me.

I don't belong to him.

He belongs to that woman. I am no more than a speck of dust on a forgotten book to him.

The sudden realization makes my heart squeeze in agony because I can't have him. I can't have the boy that "loves" me. I hide in his shadow and wait for my chance to take him back, but I know I can't because they love each other with a burning passion.

I open my eyes.

They are enjoying a walk in a beautiful field of flowers and birds. There is a gentle breeze dancing around the field. I dont know where this magnificent place is but it is utterly stunning. He points to a small chirping yellow bird and she smiles at him. She points to his shadow, where I am hiding.

I cower away. Ashamed. I am weak.

He ignores me.

As he grabs her hand, I feel as if my hope and my heart is dissolving away. I am loosing him. She jumps into his arms. His laughter fills the atmosphere as they spin round and round. Delicate and perfect.

Then the whole setting changes. I suddenly find myself in his room, but it is very dim and I can barely see. I see their shadow as they glare at me through the darkness. Through the dark, I can see that their eyes are pitch black, like hollow sockets.

A light glows. The light is neon red blood spewing down his mouth. It's spewing everywhere. The color is so bright that it acts like a nightlight. She screams as worms bees spew out of her nose and ears and eyes. Her black eyes pop right off his skull, but she keeps wailing. Her eyes roll onto the ground, only to be covered in blood that continues to flow out of his mouth.

He walks over to me, standing right in front of me. I can smell the blood in his breath. The stench makes me want to retch. I see his mouth whisper the words "Go die." And he grins.

His teeth are stained with red and his chin is also red. He gently places a knife into my hand and points the blade into my chest, but doesn't force it to cut my flesh. I see him muttering words to me. Blood splatters out of his mouth everytime he speaks, covering me in the droplets. I can't hear his words over his woman's loud screams.

The only words I hear are "Go die.", "I don't love you.", and "never." It seems like a chant as he says those three phrases over and over as he excitedly grins at the blade in my hand.

I'm not scared. I know what the right thing to do is.

I plunge the blade deep into my heart.

He laughs. He mocks me and laughs as I am struggling for breath already. He points and hoots in laughter as I fall to the ground, clutching my heart as it aches; both mentally and physically.

Right as I feel my last breath dying away, he sits down beside me and whispers into my ear, "Bye!" And he makes a heart sign with his hand. My heart takes one last pump before it stops. My blood gushes everywhere through my wound. I close my eyes.

JR's POV

My eyes snap open right away. I see Aron in front of me, clutching my shoulders tightly. When he sees that my eyes are open he hugs my tight and kisses my face everywhere, my eyes, my nose, my forehead, my chin, my lips.

"JR, are you okay, love?" He rubs my cheek. His hands are warm. I realize my breathing is uneven and fast.

"I don't know." I reply to him. I notice that I was in our room that we shared. I must have fallen asleep on the way back home from Sunnggyu's house and Aron must have carried me inside.

He begins to speak but I cut him off. "What day is it?" He looks surprised at my question.

"Wednesday." He answers. Okay so it's still the same day.

I pull away from him. Aron looks confused as I sit up in the bed.

"What's wrong?" He questioned me. "Why did you choose me?" I blurt out.

He frowns in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly WHO I'm talking about." I snap.

He sighs. "Aimee? What about her?"

"Why. Did. You. Choose. Me. Over. Her." I say slowly, gritting my teeth with every word.

"We went over this, Jonghyun." he ran a hand through his brown hair.

"Tell me again, then!" I snapped at him.

He frowns. "What got into you all of a sudden? You were crying in your sleep and whimpering, so I wanted to wake you up because it was scaring me. You just woke up and BAM. You just suddenly attacked me."

I grew more agitated. "I don't know, okay?! Just tell me, please."

"I already did." he said.

"If you can't tell me why I'm better, doesn't that still mean you love her?" 

"No, it means you should already KNOW." he countered.

"What if I don't?! You know me, a crazy self-harmer with NO CONFIDENCE what-so-ever!" My voice was beginning to rise.

"I know, okay? Look, just forget this." he sat down beside me on the bed. "Are you okay, though?"

I became silent. Aron kept looking at me carefully.

"Is it because she can speak English better?" I asked him, slowly.

He almost laughed. "What? No! I don't think it matters if you can speak good English or not, I still love you."

The images from my dream flashed in my head. Aron and Aimee. Blood. Screams.

"Is it because she's your highschool girlfriend? And I'm just no one?" I asked him. He narrowed his eyes at me in confusion.

"Why are you asking me this? You know that I love you so much that I would risk my life for you. You're much better than Aimee is." he grinned seductively at me. I glared at him because I wasn't in the mood for his flirty smiles.

"How come you cheated on me?" I asked, hoping that I was beginning to push his buttons. I really wanted to know. I needed to know.

Aron was surprised at my sudden question. "Why?" 

"You're not deaf, are you?" I growled.

He put both his hands up, as in surrendering. "No, but uhm.................it's kind of long explaination."

"Make it short then." I hissed.

He thought deeply. "You're ier, sweeter, smarter, hotter, and cuter than her." he smiled.

"All I hear is the 'e-r' part. That means she's still all of those things to you. You still find her y, sweet, smart, hot, and cute." I pointed out.

"That's not what I mean, she's the complete oppisite of all those things." he said quickly.

"I don't believe it." 

"You don't bel-"

"I don't believe that you chose me over her." I interuppted sharply.

"What? Why?"

"I might be gay, and Aimee might be a biatch, but she's pretty damn attractive Aron!" I shouted, frustrated.

"Okay, stop. Aimee is NOT attractive. She's not sweet or nice; like you. She's not smart. You are. She's not cute. You are!" Aron tried to convince me.

"You had her for half a year! Half a year. You can't forget someone easily that you dated and had with for half a year!"

Aron ruffled his hair in angry frustration. "We didn't have !"

"LIES." I pointed an accusing finger at him.

"I promise, we didn't!" 

"Whatever. You still love her. Deep down, you know you still love her. Because you don't love me." I pressed my lips together.

Aron snickered softly. "You're jealous of her?"

"Maybe I am." I snapped, standing up out of the bed and walking to the door to leave. He shot up off the bed and blocked my way, not allowing me to exit.

"Why are you jealous? You don't have a reason to be."

"Of course I do! You and her didn't have to worry about society judging you! You didn't have to constantly worry about her! You were so carefree when you were with her! Then there's me and I caused all this stress and and busy schedules." I shook my head as I finished speaking.

"No, you made my life better." he tried to caress my face, but I slapped his hand away.

"What's wrong, Jonghyun?" Aron looked really concerned. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No. Kind of. I don't know." I sighed.

"Why won't you tell me?" he pressed me against the wall. His breath tickled my neck and made me shiver. I resisted the lust that boiled to the surface, shoving Aron off me.

I don't know what got into me. I felt all my frustration bubble up then explode. "Why don't you just take Aimee back, Aron?! Take her! You deserve her more than I deserve you!" Aron opened his mouth to speak, I cut him off again (like I did earlier), this time more sharp. "Look at her! Skinny, graceful, beautiful! Oh god, you were right Aron. She is beautiful."

"Jonghyun, you sound so envious of her." 

"Maybe I am. Maybe I'm jealous because she wasn't as hurt as I was when I found the truth. Maybe I'm just jealous because I can't compare to her. Or maybe because I know you still love her."

"No, Jonghyunnie, I will always love you and only you."

"You said that to me even when you were cheating on me, remember?" I bitterly reminded him.

He sighed. "Jongyhyun, we-"

"I don't date cheaters!" I screamed at him.

I saw Aron try to be patient. He rubbed his temples and took a few quick breaths in.

"Calm down, Jonghyun." he patted my shoulder gently. "I thought we were over this already."

"I can't get this out of my head. I don't know if I'm jealous or angry..............or what." I sighed and tilted my head back, to where the back of it rested on the wall.

"I would understand." he soothed me.

I snapped again. "No you wouldn't!"

Aron his lips. "Can you just please calm down?"

"No! I refuse to!" 

"Jonghyun, just calm down! Sometimes you just get plain annoying. You over react so much! Why are you're emotions so hard to understand?!" he pressed his lips together tightly, looking like he regretted his words.

"Good! Sometimes I can't believe I could be dating a low-lying piece of like you!" I screamed at him, shoving past him before opening the door and slamming it shut.

As I was walking down the stairs into the livingroom of the dorm, I heard Aron sit on the bed and sigh loudly.