Feelings.

Jiyong’s pov.

“Leader give it back! Yahhh! I need to study for my test!” she shouted trying to reach for my notes. I pushed her face out of the way and gave Young Pyo a smirk. He rolled his eyes paying attention to his own notebook as we sat on the grass during lunch. She leaned over me even more trying to snatch the notebook causing her to slightly slip and land on me. I gave out a small laugh, as __ gave a confused look. “Shouldn’t you be trying to push me off instead of laughing like you usually do?“ I immediately changed expressions and pushed her off gripping onto her notebook. “I hope you fail your test!” I said frowning. She gave a small pout and took a small bite out of her peanut butter jelly sandwich. I almost felt bad almost giving her her notebook back. Young Pyo patted her back. “You can cheat off of me if you want __-ahh.” __ lit up almost instantly and gave him a hug, only to pull back blushing. I clenched onto the notebook once more and stuffed it into my backpack. “Heyy! I still want my notebook leader!!” she complained. “Nope.” I said irritated. I pointed at the two of them. “So... are you two..” __ turned bright red and stumbled over nothing trying to avoid the question. Young Pyo wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “Sure, I guess we are.” he simply said. Her jaw dropped and she hit his head. “Yahh! I-I never agreed to any of this!” He smirked and laughed. “Oh, shut up. I know you’ve liked me since day one.” She seemed offended hitting him on the shoulder as hard as she could. He winced a bit and gave a small smile. “N-NOOOOO!” she denied frowning. I couldn’t believe it. It was as if we had fallen into her own invisible trap. Nothing was working. It wasn’t about Mblaq anymore. It wasn’t popularity. It was her. I got up holding onto my backpack unsettled by this. “L-Leader where are you going?” “Home.” “W-What?” “Don’t follow me.”

~~~

I angrily tore each page from her notebook, crumpling her notes and throwing them at the empty deep orange wall in front of me. I yelled in distress and knelt to the ground holding onto my head. “Everything’s screwed over. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!” I said aloud. I picked up the now empty notebook ripping it in half. “That little ...” I whispered clenching onto my heart. It beat faster as I thought about her. I didn’t realize the real reason of my anger. I thought it was because I hated her that much. Because she ruined everything. But none of that was true. And I only denied everything. “I hate you Pyeon __. I hate your ugly red hair. I hate your ugly washed out eyes. Your stupid boy features. EVERYTHING.” I took my own ragged notebook and crossed her face out multiple times until the page ripped. “Everything.”

Young Pyo’s pov.

“I have to go now. Jiyong wants to see me.” I told __. She pouted slumping on the bench. School had ended and I decided to walk her home. We took a short break from walking and sat at the nearest bench to the bus stop. I patted her head. “It’s okay jagi-yah. You’ll be fine walking home the rest of the way.” I said. She stood up and looked at me. “Jagi?!” she asked taken aback. I came closer to her and kissed her cheek. “Yup.” __ stood frozen for a second blinking straight ahead of her, her eyes a clean slate blue. I smiled and pinched her cheeks. “See you later.”

~~~

I reached Jiyong’s house and found him sitting outside his door step. I sat next to him and looked at what he was looking at. A bird was eating a bread crumb in front of his house. Its head cocked up and stared its pitch black eyes at me. It reminded me of __. “Did you need something?” I inquired. Jiyong held onto a stone and tossed it up and down slightly. “We’re carrying on with the plan.” I sighed, my heart sinking a little and I closed my fist. “Are you sure?” I asked. “Jiyong--” He looked at me with a glare. “Did you actually develop feelings for her?” he scoffed. “She is becoming a nuisance, I want this to be done with. She is ruining everything, including your personality. You are becoming too weak.” I tried to disagree. This couldn’t have happened now. Things were too good to be true. Reality suffocated me once again and I had forgotten what I gotten myself into. “But Jiyong--” “No buts. Orders are orders.” he said sternly. I nodded slowly, my eyes flickering a sorrowful glint. His facial expression stayed the same, as he flicked his hand, throwing the rock swiftly. It flew in the air and hit the bird right in the neck severely injuring it. “Kill the bird.” he told me. “No, why would I do that.” He got up bluntly and walked back into his house. “You’ve even grown weak for disgusting animals. What are you.” and he slammed the door leaving me sitting alone. I walked over to the bird and picked it up gingerly. It twitched trying to fly away. I it softly and brought it home fixing its injured neck. All that time I contemplated on what he said.

“Jiyong, what are you?” I asked to myself.