EXO is big nowadays and it's starting to irk me more than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I felt so proud seeing their faces wherever I go. When I'm walking by the road, a bus with their faces would pass by. When I go shopping, their songs would play in the stores. When I watch TV, their name would come out, when I watch the news they would come on it. 

My mom seemed to have notice the status of my relationship with Kyungsoo when we watched TV together, which is also weird cause I don’t watch TV. When I changed the channel as soon as EXO showed up on TV, my mom looked at me and simply smiled. "Let's watch something else." She said and I felt grateful that she didn’t ask more. 

It was like some other day where I would cooped up in my room, wrapped up in my blanket while weeping over some sad movies that I downloaded in my laptop. Assignments were stacked up on my desk but I paid no heed to them as I watched the main girl in the movie died.  

A knock came onto my door and I managed to croak out a really monster-like "What." My mom's head poked through the small gap of the door and she scolded me for not doing anything again. "What is it, mom?"I asked as I stood up from the bed and opened the door wider. 

"I'm going to shop for some clothes. Do you want to come along?" I contemplated for a second. I was so lazy to dress up and walk for hours but it has been months since I last shop. "I'll get ready in a minute." We all know I take more than a minute to dress up and my mom rolled her eyes. "Make it quick."  

What I did not think through is how I hate to go shopping with my mom and I realized it an hour too late. She was looking for some clothes while I sit down, treating my aching legs. We've been walking for hours and mom still did not find anything that she likes.  

"Mom, I'm going to find for some things. Call me when you're done." I grumbled. I took one of her credits card and sped out of the store as fast as possible. Now I can buy anything. 

My first stop was my favorite clothing store and I squealed in excitement as soon as I went into the store. This is what months without shopping does to you.  

I was looking at the pants displayed and tried to look for a color that suits me. "This is cute." I smiled, taking out a striped trousers. I turned around to look at the mirror behind me and put the pants against my hips. "I don’t know if these looks good on me or--." 

My eyes found another pair of eyes looking at me through the mirror and I almost peed in my pants and lose grip on the pants I was holding. Out of all places why here. When does he ever have time to shop anyway.  

Kyungsoo caught my stare for a second before turning his attention back to the lady behind him who was holding onto a big camera. He's filming. Well, that's good. That means he can't talk to me. Although a part of me want him to not care about the camera and walk up to me to apologize. But we all know he won't do that.

Seeing him talk to the camera happily and with the camera following him around makes me realize that he's a star now. He's really living his dream, now. I still remember how he would go on and on about being a singer, standing on stage, serenading thousands of people with his great voice. The look on his face when he talks about his dream was so admiring and I'm actually feeling happy and proud of him, for not giving up when he crumbled down, standing up again even though he fell down numerous times. 

I realized I was staring a bit too long and straight avert my eyes to the shirt in front of me. I tightened my grip on the pants and looked through the shirts hung on the rack. My mind however wasn’t even interested in the shirts as his voice was the only thing I hear.  

His laughter caught my attention and I felt tears welling up in my eyes suddenly. I missed him. I miss everything about him, I realized. I thought I'm strong enough to refrain myself from running away which was why I didn’t run out of the store when I saw him. I wanted to prove to him … to myself that I'm okay, now. I'm okay being in a same room as him. I'm okay without him. But okay is not the most suitable word to describe how I was when tears fell. 

As quietly as possible, I went out of the store and back to the street. Right after I took a few steps from the store, my phone rang and it was my mom. "I'm done, where are you?" She asked and I tried so hard to answer calmly, not wanting her to know that I've been crying. 

"I'm still finding for some things. You go ahead and grab lunch or something, I'll be there." I said and waited for her response before hanging up. I'll just walk around until my eyes doesn’t seem like I just cried. A few minutes of walking would do. 

From time to time I would check my reflection through my phone but stupid me kept on crying. He's not even worth your tears. Stop it! A voice in my head screamed. 

I looked up from my phone and wondered if God was playing tricks on me and try to make this day a whole lot worse. No cameras were following them which is bad because now they could walk up to me … and they did.  

No, Mirae. Go. I told myself but I was glued to the ground. I can't move. "Noona." Sehun's soft whisper brought my attention back to them and I softened. I smiled, "Hey , guys." It was so awkward.  

"Where are the others?" I tried to make it less awkward by trying to chat with them normally but their expressions don't seem to be wanting to have a chat. "They're somewhere." Jongin said distractedly. 

"You ... Leave at least a message or something if you're going to just ignore us for months." Sehun said ,going straight to the point. I wanted to say something, anything, "I'm sorry" at least …  but I can't. 

"We were worried. Just because something happened to you and hyung doesn’t mean you have to do all of this." Sehun was angry and disappointed. I heard hurried footsteps and more members came to their side. 

"Mirae?" A confused voice spoke up and I came face to face with Yixing. One by one, familiar faces showed up and face-palmed mentally.Just great.  Baekhyun and Chen came to their side whilst laughing but all of that disappeared when they spotted me. 

All of them were thinking the same thing and I could see it on the faces, their disappointed expression and some were suprised to see me there. Of course they would, after almost 2 months of MIA. They were staring at me , it was 8 against 1.  

It was still early and the streets was not yet crowded which I'm thankful for. But it doesn’t mean that there weren't any people around. Being the smart one, Jongin grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside a random store with the other members quietly followed. 

The only one in the store was an old grandpa behind the desk and he seemed oblivious about 8 boys with colorful hair and expensive clothes barged into his store as if they're like some kind of gang.  

Immediately after Jongin let go of my wrist, I was pulled in for a hug by someone I cant even recognize since it all happened quickly. "You're so stupid, I tell you." It was Luhan. 

Tears fell as I heard his broken voice and saw the members behind him. "I'm sorry, oppa." Chanyeol came up to us and wiped my tears away before hugging me, making me squished in between him and Luhan. "Just … just don’t do that again." He whispered.  

As I cried harder, they started to comfort me one by one and it ended up as a group hug , except for Jongin who's still staring me down with his glare.  

"We were so worried about you." 

"It felt as if I just lost my little sister." 

"What were you even thinking." 

"You're stupid." 

"You little . You should at least say a proper goodbye before kicking us out of your life."

"How can you, noona." It broke my heart to hear Sehun's whisper but he engulfed me into a hug nonetheless. 

"You're so selfish, you know that right?" And that was Jongin. 

"Cut it off, Jongin-ah." Minseok spoke up. "You only think about your feelings and not ours. Have you ever thought about us and how we would feel if you just fled off of our lives just like that?" 

"I -" was the only thing I managed to croak out until Jongin spoke up again. "You didn’t. Of course. Because you only think of yourself."  

Jongin's words hit me like bricks and I bit my lips to stop myself from sobbing. Luhan and Chanyeol were trying to calm him down but he didn’t even budge. 

"Shut the  up." A voice caught all of our attention and a panting Kyungsoo came to my vision. 

The whole chapter . I'm sorry if u don't like it ><

To all of you who wanted to know, this is Sungjoon.

and this is Woobin.

;

and no, gifs not mine, obviously.