Jiyong's POV

Was she right about all these?That this relationship is a wrong move?We weren't meant for each other?After all these,are we going to give in to this?Am I hurting her so badly right now?With all these harassment?It would have been so good if I hadn't love her.So deeply.If we didn't know each other.Was I being selfish?Knowing I am a public figure and I can't give her a peaceful life,but still wanting her so much?Maybe that break up was actually a right move.No.I can't think that way.I love her.She's mine.This life.Forever.But am I her's?Does she love me as much as l love her?Can she withstand all these?Can she take the pressure?Can she love me as she suffer?Will she love me as she suffer?Will she sacrifice for this relationship to this point?I don't know.I don't know her feelings.I don't want to risk all these.

I have given her hope and I can't trash it so fast.I promised her.I won't leave her.She was hurt once,and that's never going to happen for the second time.I will protect her.But...am I able to?I am at wits' end.I am confused.Why can't they just leave us alone?Why can't I love someone without being watched,judged or disapproved?Why must my loved ones be implicated just because I want to pursue my dreams?She's my love,she's my all.I will leave this entertainment industry if I could,but it's being selfish.What about Top,Taeyang,Daesung and Seungri?They want to succeed so badly.I can't pull them down with me.How am I going to deal with YG appa?He trained me for 6 years and I finally debuted.

I can't let him down.

Guilt will take over me.

I can't let my members down.

Guilt will take over me.

I can't let my fans down.

Guilt will take over me.

I can't let my parents down.

Guilt will take over me.

And I can't,can't let Hani down.

Guilt will KILL me.

I don't know what to do anymore.I hate myself.Hani doesn't deserve this,she deserve better right?She deserved to be love every single moment;and that's something I can't give her.I love her every single moment,but she will never be able to feel that.Am I giving her problems and stress with all these?

Would it help if...if...if...I...le.a..v...e......her....l..i..f...e?

That's difficult.I rather die.Die.I hate this thought of leaving her.Its like she had a recovered scar and I went a slash her on that scar.Thats never going to be good,It's never going to make things better.It will only be worse.Much worse.Somebody tell me what to do!How to have everything you ever wanted without sacrificing any one of them?Its impossible to have the best of both worlds.But it has to be possible.By any means.