I am still not over that.I can't stop thinking about him,not Jiyong,but G-Dragon.He didn't tell me right?Is it he doesn't want me to know about it?I will know it one day,he can't hide it forever.Should I act like I don't know?I can't.I just can't,I know this isn't going to end well and it is not going to be a happy ending,this relationship.

Paparazzi.Fans.I don't want to burden him or myself.I don't want to live in fear.Fear of losing him.Fear of the inability to meet him as I wish to.Fear of the life I am going to have.They will be behind us,seeing every single step we make,waiting for every single mistake we did.I am lost.Its like all that happened was a dream.Something that is impossible,never possible to fulfill.A dream that I can dream in my sleep.When I wake up,everything goes back to normal

.I just wished he didn't exist.Or I didn't know he existed.I can't forget the first kiss I had with him.The first guy to ever hold my hand.The first guy to ever hug me.Jiyong.G-Dragon.Jiyong.G-Dragon.Jiyong.G-Dragon.Whenever I think of Jiyong now,G-Dragon would appear.I hate him.Why didn't he tell me?I would not have any hopes on him then.Now?I have hoped already.And this hope is going to be crashed.

This got to end.Today.

"Let's break up.Or should I say,we hadn't start yet.It won't work out.But I did have feelings for you,once.I am sorry."it's difficult typing that.Every single alphabet was difficult.Is this being too mean?Am I not giving him a chance to explain?It will be more difficult if I said this in person.I would have broke down.And I don't want that to happen.

Send?I held onto that button.Once I release it,there's no turning back.I let a tear flow down as I release it.Hani.Just stop thinking about it.I don't care what you think about. Not that person that's all.Not him.

No reply came from him.Not even one.It is expected.He must hate me so much now that he would want to kill me.The sight of me would just irk him.Everything is much easier when you're hated.You wouldn't feel that guilty anymore.Just hate me please Jiyong.I don't want to be thinking about you everytime.I don't want to remember anything I had with you.Disappear.The first time we met was a mistake.The first hug you gave me was a mistake.The first kiss you gave me was a mistake.This was all a mistake.

I was about to retire to bed;avoiding everything that is going on in this world;shutting myself off from the world,when I heard a knock on my door.I casually opened the door...

It had never cross my mind.Not once.He was there.In front of me now.I was stunned.Nervous actually.I can't face him.I can't look straight into his eyes.It just pains me.I can't even think right now.I am trembling.

"So you are going to do this to me?We are going to end like that?We could have talked things out.You just pierced my heart with a million swords.One by one.Do you even love me? I love you so much.Since the first time we met,I fell in love with you.How can you do this to me,now?I know it's my fault for hiding from you that I am G-Dragon.But I did intend to tell you soon.Don't leave me,not when I have fell so deep in love with you."He said,its sincere I know.His voice was hoarse,as though he was going to tear up.I don't know what to reply!I am afraid my words would hurt him more.Then,I saw a tear flowing down his cheek.Slowly.Very slowly.Like a painful and hurtful tear.