"Kiss me.."he said.I didn't kiss him before.He was always the one trying,initiating.Proving he loves me.And I silently accepted it.But I had never proven to him I do.Showed him I do.Was I too afraid of everything? Of trying? Of loving? Why can't I just kiss him?I don't know...I wasn't comfortable.I am not sure now if I should.I don't know how to.I just wanted him to believe I do love him.As much as he loves me.Even more.Thats not how I wanted to prove to him I do.But it's what makes him believe I do.

He stared into my eyes.Each part of his face seemed to be waiting for my action.Will he be disappointed if I said no?Isn't he already giving in to me?To my needs?Isn't he already sacrificing for me?Am I mean if I said no?No to his hope?I looked into his eyes.I was speechless.It was as though he was yearning for that.Just that right?

I couldn't face it.That I am with someone.Of much more importance than myself.I never thought of being with a celebrity.It just wasn't part of my life.He is just too good for me.I am not good enough.I will never be.Its stressful loving him. But deep down I want to love him so badly.

I think he stopped expecting.I think he thought it's impossible.Impossible that I would do it.He was disappointed.Hani just do it.Its just a kiss.To show him you do love him.My "lips" started to feel nervous.My arms hung limply by my sides.My hands fidgeting with anxiety.I leaned forward...Slowly.I could sense his lips wasn't far.We were only centimeters away.I was leaning towards him.I was freaking out.His breath was warm.He was nervous too.He definitely was.

Our lips touched.His lips was smooth and soft.It was desirable.Should it just be a peck?Just as I wanted to lean away,he held onto my wrist.

"Don't stop,stay where you are"he whispered while only millimeters away from my face.I didn't know what to do.What he was going to do.But that moment was lovely.Unexpected.He pushed him lips onto mine after whispering.His hands moved up to my arms.He held onto it.He didn't want me to leave.It wasn't painful but it was strong enough to stop me from moving.He tilted his face as he plants more kisses on my lips.My hands unconsciously locked behind his back.It was indescribable.

He didn't stop.I expected him to.I had never kissed before.It seemed like he kissed before.Wait.Did he kiss somebody else before?This is ruining the moment.So I wasn't his first love after all?It didn't matter,but it felt weird.I just want to know.Even if it is or even if it isn't,I want to know.I broke off from his kiss.He was surprised.Maybe he didn't expect me to spoil the perfect moment?

"Am I...am..I.."I couldnt bring myself to say it.Is it too personal?

"Say it.Just say it"he said with his gentle voice.

"Your first love?Your...first...ki..s..s?"I stuttered.I was afraid of the answer I didn't know why.At all.