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Jiyong's POV

Those words.It struck me,maybe she didn't love me that much.Why was I even expecting her to miss me a lot?Maybe her "a little" was "not at all"?Maybe she just didn't want to make me feel bad,horrible.But I guess I already am.Not just worse,but,demoralized.She was like my painkiller but it seems like I lost it,and now I am going crazy.I couldn't concentrate on what's going around me.It was only those words.In my mind.Nothing else.Everything was blocked out.I didn't want to let her know I was disappointed so I excused myself.I would miss her so much...Couldnt she feel?Feel the unexpressed love I had for her?Its not one sided right?I just wanted to hear,that she would miss me and I am contented.There was no need for a little.I don't know why but I am not having a good feeling about this.

Our characters seemed different.I just hope,that she could see I love her more than anything in this world.She still don't believe is it?Why is she so...unconscious?About all these?We are both first timers.things can't get perfect so easily.But...argh!This is so ruining everything!Japan..Japan...Japan.....I don't even know how I can be in a good mood during the shoot.I really dont know if all these have been a wrong move.What if,Hani just isn't expressive?Maybe I overthinked? "Yah,Jiyong!Whats going on?Why you look so lifeless?"TOP asked.He could tell ones emotion just by looking at them.He is like a physic.He can seem through everyone.Read anyone's puzzled and complex mind.He is someone you can just pour everything out to.But this time round,no.He can't,won't make me talk.Nobody knows about Hani,at least I hadn't tell them.I can tell they are getting suspicious though.I am always disappearing,and I wouldn't tell them where I am going.What do you think they'll expect?Oh tell them I am going out to eat?They will follow.Tell them I am going shopping?Seungri will pester to follow.Then what?They them I am meeting a girl?They'll kill me or ask to see her.My goodness.I would be bombarded with questions.

"Aniya..nothing's wrong.I am just...tired...that's all,"

TOP's expression was obvious.He didn't believe.I have no memories of me acting like this when I am tired.Why is it that Hani can torture me like this?When she barely even did anything?What would happen when she does something?Will I literally go crazy?Why is she capable of controlling me?My emotions?Why is it that she could?Is it because I love her more than she love me?I need to stop thinking about all these...thoughts.It will kill me one day.

"Don't lie Kwon Jiyong.You know clearly what is wrong with you."TOP said as he walked away.I shrugged.Not going to tell them,so soon.Now all I want is to get Hani out of my mind.It is ridiculous if I am the only one missing here.She might be having so much fun.Without me.Since when?!I became so paranoid about all these?Am I not confident?Am I over-Possessive?Thats not the Kwon Jiyong I know.Thats not the Kwon Jiyong I am.This Kwon Jiyong is too afraid to lose his one and only.