Knock. Knock.

Kihyun lifted up his head and saw Hyungwon standing at his door. They stare at each other for a moment before Kihyun signals Hyungwon to come in. "This giving me vibes of that time you coming here to attack me mentally"

Hyungwon makes sure he closes the door before he takes a seat in the chair across from the Kihyun. He takes a glance at papers scattered all over Kihyun's desk before he focuses on his friend again, who seems to be waiting for him to talk about his surprise visit.

"I remember you come here because of Changkyun at that time. Who is it this time?"

"You" Hyungwon answered honestly. He notices Kihyun let out a heavy sigh. "I know what happened. But, I still want to hear about it from you" he added.

"Of course, you are picking it up" Kihyun sighed again. "So, long story short... Hyunwoo and I had a meeting with Minhyuk after our Jeju trip, and we received a piece of rather bad news. But, as I keep thinking about it...it's not actually bad news, it's just a piece of news"

"About?" Hyungwon asked.

"It's about me wanting a baby girl thing" Kihyun carefully said it word by word. He wanted to see Hyungwon's reaction, but the latter manage to keep his poker face. "Well... while doing a test, Minhyuk finds out that Hyunwoo has a rare genetic mutation that only allows him to give his Y chromosomes to his offspring. As you already know, the baby already inherits the X chromosomes from its mother, which is from me. So, that means we are only able to have a baby with XY chromosomes. I believe you know about this better than me since you are in the field, that... XY means male and XX means female"

"I see"

"Don't you 'I see' me, Hyungwon. I am really confused, okay? At one point, I was really hoping for a baby girl. I even cried when Sang Wook dreamt about Dasom-ie coming back. But, the news did not make me feel disappointed at all. Even when it is so obvious that Hyunwoo appears to be glad about it because it might change my mind about having another baby, it totally doesn't affect my feeling at all. So, I have been thinking about it. It comes to me that I don't really want a baby girl. I was just wanting another baby because of the miscarriage"

Hyungwon did not say anything. He just stares at Kihyun.

"Don't give me that look, please"

"What look?" Hyungwon asked.

"The look that says 'you know the answer, why asking'. Am I really manipulating Hyunwoo to have another baby because of the miscarriage?" Kihyun sounded disappointed in himself.

"I wouldn't call it manipulation, Kihyun. I would rather call it a 'not quite right coping mechanism'. You are just waking up from a long sleep. The miscarriage is a piece of unfortunate news you shouldn't receive while recovering. It's understandable you misinterpreting your body sensation"

"Well, I never interpreted my body sensation correctly" Kihyun mumbles. "Tell me honestly. Since you understand my feeling better than I do, please be honest with me"

"What do you want to know?"

"Am I even wanting a baby? Or, is it really just a 'not quite right coping mechanism'?"

"Honestly, I am not sure about the baby. But, you really want to have a normal pregnancy experience"

"I got pregnant naturally and give birth to the boys naturally"

"When I said normal, I mean the excitement of waiting for the baby to be born. Not the opposite"

Kihyun did not say anything, because he know the point Hyungwon is trying to make. With Sang Wook and Dasom, he spends all his time preparing himself of losing them because he was at a high risk of miscarriage - which actually happened. He lost Dasom at birth. The only memory he had with his baby girl was in the NICU. Then, the triplets come. Since he finds out about the pregnancy late, he prepares himself for something bad to happen - because he is sure that he had messed up the baby at least once during the early stage of gestation.

"I don't really have the answer if you really want another baby, Kihyun" Hyungwon said as Kihyun seemed lost in his thought.

"It's really no point in asking, actually" Kihyun whispered, but he knows Hyungwon can hear him. "Yes, I tested positive this morning," he said to affirm the question Hyungwon have been asking with his staring.

"You haven't told Hyunwoo?"

Kihyun nodded. "He was actually waiting outside the washroom this morning. I told him it was negative because that's what pop up. Then, after getting the kids ready, when we are ready to go out... I take a look at the test again before throwing it out. It was positive. I took another one as soon as I reached here today and it's positive again"

"... and you have no idea how to tell him?"

Kihyun nodded. "Should I just tell him tomorrow? I will pretend like it was my first time seeing it positive, it will be easier to do that, right?"

Hyungwon shrugged.

"Do you think Hyunwoo will be disappointed? I mean I trapped him to agree to have another baby by asking for a baby girl. But, it will be a boy again, and what if he blames himself for not being able to give me what I want?"

Hyungwon smiles before he goes "How can you be so confident it will be another boy?"

"Didn't you hear anything I say that Minhyuk find out about Hyunwoo's rare genetic mutation?" Kihyun sounded like he wanted to smack Hyungwon on the head.

"I heard. But, do you even remember who you are?" 

Kihyun frowned.

"You are Sohn Dasom's mother. You gave birth to a baby girl once, Kihyun"

Kihyun had the 'aha' moment.

"After all those things you went through, I find it unbelievable that you still believe whatever scientific finding is told to you," Hyungwon said. "You grow up with me and Changkyun. You defeated dead multiples times" he added.

Kihyun just stares at Hyungwon for a moment as he processes the situation properly. "You are not here for me. You are here for the baby. You know I am pregnant, right?"

Hyungwon just smiles.

Kihyun is about to get mad at his friend, but something else crosses his brain. "Since between you and I there is no privacy at all, let me ask you one thing"

"What?" Hyungwon casually asked, even though he can guess what kind of question Kihyun is about to ask him.

"Since I am your conscience, you pick up my senses even though we are not close to each other. So, when I was... were... you know... how do you deal with it?" he was asking about those intimate sensations Hyungwon had no choice of picking up.

"I have been picking up senses since I was born, Kihyun. I am already used to it. Nothing faze me anymore" Hyungwon simply answered.

"Is that why you choose to be single?" Kihyun randomly asked.

"Maybe. If I never feel, I would be curious about it. But, I already know how it feels"

"All those senses you picking up, what is the one you can't ever get used to? I believe you have something like that" Kihyun is genuinely curious.

"Sui_cidal. Every time I pick it up, I always get confused. Is it merely a sensation or is it my real feeling?"

"Do you still have that thought? That dying is much better than living?" Kihyun asked, concerned.

Hyungwon shakes his head. "You found the love of your life. Changkyun found his loved one too. I found mine. Though staying alive can be hard at times for me, I choose to live for him"

"Lee Minhyuk?"

"The first time I saw him, he wish to be gone. The sensation was so strong that I was in physical pain for a few days. I couldn't even leave my bed. I was thinking that 'He's gone for sure. There is no way he fighting that'. To my surprise, I see him again. Still wishing to be gone. Out of curiosity, I follow him around. It was my first time seeing someone who wished to be gone but trying so hard to stay alive at the same time. Lee Minhyuk is stronger than anything you can imagine, really. Can you imagine trying your best when what you really want is for everything to stop?" Hyungwon was lost in his thought for a moment. "The point I was trying to make is... finding love is not necessarily mean a romantic relationship. It can be any kind of relationship... and I am loved and I loved back. You don't have to worry about that"

Kihyun smiles. "I think you find a new love recently"

Hyungwon frowned.

"Kang Insung. Owen Grey"

Hyungwon smiles. "Well... my first love is moving on with his new love and their daughter. I need to move on" he jokes - he was implying that Minhyuk find a new love with Hoseok and Chessa.

"That sounds right. Except, their daughter loves you a lot more" Kihyun replied.

Both Kihyun and Hyungwon giggle.

***************************

"I was waiting for you," Hyunwoo said when Kihyun entered the room. 

Kihyun is a little confused seeing his husband sitting on the bed - Hyunwoo rarely comes to his bedroom. Usually, Kihyun is the one who will be crashing into Hyunwoo's room.  "Is something wrong? Are the kids okay?" he asked as he take a seat next to his husband.

"They are okay. I manage to put them to sleep early today" Hyunwoo answered as he turn his body a little to face his wife. "I found this in the trash can while cleaning the house this noon"

Kihyun takes the kit from Hyunwoo. He stares at it as he thinks about what to tell his husband.

"This morning we are rushing to drop the boys at school, and you have client consultation. Let's take another test. To confirm, before we go to Minhyuk" Hyunwoo said as gently as he can. He doesn't want to sound like he is pressuring his wife.

"Actually, I already took it" Kihyun said as he take out the kit from his bag. "I saw it when I was throwing it out. So, I repeated it when I reached the firm. It's..." he let Hyunwoo see it himself.

"It's a double line," Hyunwoo said as he stares at the kit for a moment. "Are you okay?"

Kihyun is a little confused with the question. Does his husband ask about his pregnancy sickness? Or, the question is much deeper than that?

"I mean... "

"About..." Kihyun cut off his husband. "I don't want a baby girl. I was... it was just the wrong way to deal with a miscarriage" he continued as he watches Hyunwoo's reaction closely. "I am sorry I put you in such an inconvenient even though I know you are not on the boat with the idea... and now we are here"

Hyunwoo pulls his wife into a hug. "Don't get me wrong, my love. I would love to have as many kids as we can together. I am only reluctant because of your health condition"

"I know. There is nothing more important to you than seeing me well" Kihyun replied as he hug his husband tightly.

"This time too... we will be okay," Hyunwoo said.

Kihyun nodded. "I know. We will be okay this time too"

*********************

"Can you eat it?" Kihyun asks anxiously as he watches Hyunwoo taking a sip of the fish soup.

"I think it's okay" Hyunwoo answered after a few sips of the soup.

"That's good. I was worried because you can't keep anything down for weeks. You need the energy to keep up with your work" Kihyun said as he starts eating too. "Jooheon offers to watch over the triplet. Sang Wook wants to have a sleepover with Owen and Insung" he said when Hyunwoo starts to scan their surrounding. "I wanted to take care of you so I said yes" he added.

"I am the one who needs to take care of you though. You should take it easy in the first trimester"

"Yes, I am the one 10 weeks pregnant. But, you are the one having the pregnancy sickness. You can't eat. You don't even sleep well. Did you even look yourself in the mirror? You look pale. How can I am not worried?"

Hyunwoo just smiles, to which Kihyun replied by reminding him to eat a lot while he can.

After the dinner, Hyunwoo helps his wife to clean up. Luckily, he is already done with the dishes when the dizziness return. He almost lost his balance while walking away from the sink, which luckily Kihyun who is organizing the plates noticed and quickly help him to stand up properly.

"Should we go to the hospital?" Kihyun asked as he help his husband to walk to the living room. They take a seat on the sofa because Hyunwoo seems like he might fall down anytime soon.

Hyunwoo just shakes his head as he gets comfortable on the sofa. "Just need to sleep"

"Then, let's go to your room after you feel a bit better," Kihyun said as he gently runs his hand through his husband's hair. 

Kihyun notices that Hyunwoo slowly drifted off to his dreamland, and he decided to let him be. Sleeping in a sitting position might be uncomfortable, but at the very least Hyunwoo will be able to catch some sleep time.