[Ji Eun's POV]

  Just by opening my father's closet, I was greeted with his familiar scent. The scent of alcohol and sweat and a tinge of perfume. Not just the scent, but the memories of him came flooding over me for a second, detaching me from reality.

  The words he said as he left. The happy times before the incident. The tremendous guilt which ruined everything. The false image he was trying to portray. 

  They all came rushing back strongly. And for that moment I was overwhelmed.

  It was only when TOP shook my shoulders slightly that I was brought out of my reverie. He gave me this look which just screamed, "What the hell is wrong with you" which made me laugh. 

  "Sorry... I.. haha.. oh look at this!" I quickly took the jacket which was in front of me into my hands. It was really big and "fluffy", and Dad used to love wearing this all the time when it was winter. I wonder why he left it behind. I helped TOP put the jacket on forcefully, because he was just giving me this bewildered look and resisted quite a lot. Maybe he forgot how to wear a jacket. 

  The jacket was so thick that it made him appear two times larger than he already was, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

  Catching his glare made me calm down a bit, enough to gush, "Ahhhhhh~ You're sooooooo cuteeeee!" He looked like a little boy wearing a top way too big for him. My father was a tall and large man.

  I melted at how adorable it looked on him, and raised a thumbs up. "This is perfect, now I just need to look for other clothes..."

  "Perfect?! This jacket is hideou-" he started to complain. "No, trust me, nothing can look hideous on you!!" I shouted gleefully, and rushed to gather other accessories.

  After a few minutes (well, it was actually an hour), TOP still looked like TOP, even with the gigantic jacket, normal wintry pants, workers wool gloves and sunglasses. 

  "You-I can't- You're just... *sigh*" I spluttered as I gazed at him. "Your face is too beautiful. How-disguise... even?!" 

  "I don't see why I need a disguise!" He grunted, "And I think the one I got from your school is so much better. I hate these clothes." 

  I perked up at what he said, as he walked out of the room. Clothes from my school..?

  "See. My fashion sense is so much better than yours." He held out his hands, and spun around for a dramatic effect. He was in a brown long trench coat, and that pair of sunglasses. I've never seen a detective that looked that hot. My heart was beating rapidly against my chest already, and I just bit my lip as I looked at him. How can anyone be so beautiful?!

  "You... you... no. Can't. Too beautiful." I whispered.

  "But wait! I have a mask!" He announced grandly as he threw Dad's sunglasses to the floor, and slipped on the mask. Oh that mask! I recognized it! The joker one he wore when he was fighting with that kid.

   "That might work.. But still.. if you dress so nicely people might still recognize you. And that mask draws attention to you." I blabbered on, unable to talk normally for some reason, "And did you say you got this from my school?! It's the drama club's isn't it! You can't just take people's stuff! Great, now I'm responsible for returning it! You.. you.." I wanted to say something to scold him, but I couldn't, with him looking at me without his mask on now. 

  "Why are you so adorableeeeee?" I squealed, and for a moment I thought I might cry. He looked flattered but masked his reaction with a cough.

  "Can I just..." but I had already closed the distance between us, and reached forward to pinch his cheeks. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" I squealed.

  "Ji Eun ah.. I know I'm cute but.." he tried saying, but I crushed his cheeks in my palms. So soft! And squishy! I've dreamt of doing this since forever! Oh gosh-

  "Yah! Stop it!" He shouted and pushed me away. "You're annoying!"

  "What is air." I breathed, fanning my heated cheeks. I can't help it! HE WAS JUST SOOOOOO CUTEEE!!

  "Okay... Okay.." I gasped, with him looking rather wearily at me. "Where was I... the disguise, right? I think you should just wear this scarf..."

  I made him bend down as I wrapped the scarf around his neck, so that it could cover his mouth. "And then with the jacket and everything from just now..."

  "I don't want that! It's ugly!" He whined, and I resisted my urge to just crush his face again. 

  "Look, it's," I looked at the clock on the wall nearby, "Nine fifteen already and.. NINE FIFTEEN?! WHAT?! Look at how much time you've wasted! Urgh, we've got to go. NOW. NOW!! Hurry up, before the shops close! " I broke into a frenzy and abandoned the huge stack of clothing on the bed, and gave him a quick look from head to toe, before dragging him out of the house, at the same time grabbing my winter coat and bag and keys. 

  "Wait, wait, where are we going?" He asked, tugging at my grip on his arm. 

  "To get you some clothes, duh!" 

  I could tell he was excited, even though it was just going to buy clothes nearby. He tried to remain nonchalant, as always, but he couldn't hide that sparkle in his eyes, which was similar to that of a child. 

  He must have wanted to go out really badly, huh?

  "TOP ah.. " I began, wanting to make conversation, but I ended up not knowing what to say. 

  He raised his eyebrows, and I heard a muffled "What?"

  "Erm.. Haha.. erm..." I panicked for something to say. And then it came to me; of course, I had to apologize.

  "Look. I just wanted to apologize for shouting at you and everything." I said bravely, looking in front of me as I walked, because I did not dare to look at him.

  "I.. Even now, I'm sorry. I meant, even now, I can't really see you as someone other than TOP? It's just.. When you came.. You know, for that brief period of time when you told me you were TOP, I felt as if my dreams had really come true. Oh, you don't know just how much I wish I could meet TOP in real life. What more to know him for real! You don't know how happy I was to think that from that day onwards, I would be living with TOP Oppa.

  "I don't know why you actually hate it, because honestly, being treated as TOP may very well be the best thing ever, but, I'm sorry I treated you like that. It's hard to accept the fact that you're not TOP. Oh gosh, I just want to treat you as if you're him, even though you aren't. I just want to live out my fantasy, you know? 

  "And I'm sorry for shouting at you. It's just... I did so much for you and yet you were leaving me. Well, you do have every right to leave, but I was still a bit angry. Just, I'm sorry. So... let's start this whole relationship new again okay?" I finally stopped rambling, and sneaked a glance at him.

  He was frowning. And this made me frown too. My heartbeat suddenly quickened, in anticipation for his reply.

  He blinked a few times, and asked, "Start relationship anew?" 

  "Huh?" I was a bit shocked for some reason, "Ye-ah... Like, get to know you again. The real you."

  He nodded a bit, and quickened his pace. A smile spread quickly across my face, and I rushed forward to hug his arm, "Thank you TOP ah!!"

  "I mean," I corrected myself, "Erm.. actually what do you even want me to call you?"

  He buried his face further into the scarf, and said something which I could not hear. 

  "What? I'm sorry, could you repeat..?" 

  "It's fine. Anything." He grumbled.

  "So you don't mind me calling you TOP?" I asked, a bit confused now.

  "No! Call me anything besides TOP!" He said, giving me a sideways glare.

  "But why? I think it's like the best name ever." I raised an eyebrow.

  "What? It's a stupid name!" he rebuked.

  "Hey!! Don't insult TOP Oppa!" I slapped his arm.

  "Ow! What was that for! Didn't you apologize and ask me what I wanted?" 

  "Yeah, but you didn't have to insult TOP!" I stomped my foot indignantly.

  "What! You're unbelievable!" He said, walking forward without me.

  "Yah! Doofus! The shop is this way!" I shouted at him, and he turned back to walk past me.

  After a long awkward walk, we finally reached the shop. 

  "Here we are," I muttered and walked in. 

  "What? Why did you bring me to such a small shop?!" He demanded angrily. 

  I felt embarrassed, because I could feel the shop owner staring at me. The shop was small, yes, but what could you expect from a thrift shop? It wasn't like I could afford a lot of branded clothes now.

  "Lower your voice!" I hissed at him, and whispered in his ear, "It's because I don't have a lot of money, alright? Be happy and just go buy some clothes for yourself."

  He grumbled under his breath, and left to rummage through some racks. I, myself, went to scan through the racks for something that could hide his face. I sure wouldn't want people recognizing him as TOP Oppa whenever he walked through the streets. I bought some disposable masks in the end, and a pair of vintage sunglasses. 

  While waiting for him, I just walked around the shop aimlessly, looking at some of the clothes. 

  "What? Are you sure it's from this shop? I can't find it Mom." I froze when I heard a familiar voice.

  It's him, that's definitely his voice. His voice is kind of unique, I guess, so it's hard to mistake it. Maybe if I leave quietly, he won't notice me.. I carefully made my way to the other side of the rack, with my face bent down so he won't be able to see me.

  Success! I cheered in my head, as I heard him continue to talk on his phone. He hadn't noticed me. 

  I made a beeline for TOP, or plushie boy, or whatever, only to find his arms full of several pieces of tops and bottoms. "TOP ah, we've got to go."

  "I thought you said you would stop calling me TOP," he said.

  "Now's not the time for that. Wow, you really have a lot to buy huh." It's a good thing the stuff here is cheap, I added, in my mind. "Do you think we could get all this another time?" But I changed my mind when I saw the disappointment evident on his face when I said that. "Or we could hurry up. Let's hurry up and pay for all this."

  The cashier was pretty slow, and I drummed my fingers on my thigh impatiently. After a long wait, the cashier was wrapping up or scanning or whatever she was doing, for the last item. It was a scarf with vibrant colours, and a tribal pattern. If I had not been so caught up with the fact that WE HAD TO LEAVE NOW, I would have commended TOP for picking up such a fashionable accessory at a thrift shop. I handed the cashier thirty dollars.

  "Excuse me! That, can I have it?" A hand suddenly reached out from the side to grab the scarf. I felt my heart sink, and my whole body stiffen.

  "What do you mean? I saw it first." I heard TOP say, his voice gruff. 

  "I'm so sorry! But it's actually my mom's scarf, and she really treasures it. Could I.." 

  "Ha, wow, you should come up with a better excuse. What a liar." TOP fired back.

  Oh no oh no. How am I going to get out of this mess without being seen by him? 

  "I'm not lying. I could pay you more for that scarf if you'd like." As if that were his mom's scarf.. Why would someone like his mom sell something to a thrift shop?

  "Psh, please. You might as well say that this jacket belongs to your uncle." TOP said sarcastically, pointing to the one he was wearing. Yay, way to go, TOP!

  "Actually... It does kind of look like..." He trailed on, while TOP scoffed. 

  "Ji Eun?" He said in a cold voice, finally noticing me. 

  I turned around to look at him, my jaw clenched. "Jonghyun. Hey." 

  "Wow, what are you doing here? Shopping?" He narrowed his eyes at me, and said with a smirk.

  "Come on TOP, let's go," I said, gathering the shopping bags (I love this Thrift Shop for providing them) and pulling his arm as I walked. 

  "TOP? So you'd actually call your boyfriend TOP." He chuckled humourlessly behind me. "Hey, wait, stop! I haven't finished."

  I was spun around roughly to face him. I struggled to leave, but his grip on my arm was too strong. In fact, it was starting to hurt. "Let go." I whimpered, and at once hated myself for coming off as someone weak.

  "Aw, look who's scared. Well, so how are your parents? They back yet?" He asked with an innocent face, blinking as he talked, but I could detect the malice in his voice.

  "Stop it, Jonghyun! Just because you have a nice family doesn't mean you can insult mine!" I said with gritted teeth, rage boiling up.

  "Oh, looks like they're not back yet huh? See, I told you everyone would leave you. Just like how I left you." He taunted in a low and arrogant voice. "Who would want to stay with such a pathetic and disgusting kid."

  The shopping bag in my hand dropped to the floor, as my hand swung to hit his face, but he used his other hand to block himself. Do not cry do not cry do not cry. I willed the tears to flow backwards, as I gave him the best glare I could. 

  A hand flew across his face in a swift motion, catching him by surprise. He stumbled backwards and TOP took this opportunity to grab me with his arm which already had the shopping bags hanging onto, and guided me out of the shop.

  "HEY!" Jonghyun screamed, rubbing his jaw, and then, "Wait! I need that scarf!"

  "Like I would give it to someone like you," TOP said menacingly, with a cold glare at Jonghyun, and turned his back towards him.

  We left the shop, with his arm around my waist, still guiding me. I blinked my tears away. Aish, why am I so weak? Why can't I defend myself? 

  "Thank you.." I croaked, looking away, trying to hide my red eyes. I felt TOP squeeze me with the arm he had around my waist, in reply. 

  After a while of walking in silence, he said, "I was just trying to give that fatass a lesson. Don't mistake it for helping you."

  Trust him to say something like that, just when I was feeling grateful towards him. 

  "Who was that fatass anyway? How come you know someone like him?" He continued on. I looked at him, and he froze.

  "I mean, what happened back then? What did he mean when he said that.." He tried again, but I stopped him before he could finish, "So, you still haven't told me why you don't like the name 'TOP', I mean, that's like such a cool name! How could you not like it!"

  He contemplated me for a second, before saying, "Well, it just sounds stupid to me. You can call me anything else but that."

  "Ok.. How about Bingu?" I suggested. That was TOP's nickname.

  "What?!"

  "Or Mark," That was the stage name he originally had.

  "You can't be seriou-"

  "Seunghyun!" That was TOP's real name.

  "...What?" This time his reply wasn't as agitated as the previous ones. 

  "Seunghyun, Seunghyun! Choi Seung Hyun! Or Seunghyunnie! Like how I used to call you before you became half-human!" I chimed happily.

  "Well I guess.."

  "I'll take that as a yes then! Seunghyunnie ah~" I called him, just like how I would call a small kid.

  "Oh man..." He removed his arm which was draped around my shoulders to do a facepalm. It was only then that I realized he had been resting his arm on my shoulder the whole time. In a way, it was like a side hug. I felt this bubble of happiness inside of me, and grinned even more widely.

  "Seunghyunnie~ Hyunnie~ Hyunnie~" I teased, all the way home, with Seunghyunnie asking me to stop calling him that.

  "Good night Seunghyunnie ah!" I shouted from my room, before tucking myself in. I had just packed my luggage for the trip tomorrow, and could finally sleep. 

  Well, not really, because I had a few things which I couldn't help but wonder as I lay in my bed, staring into darkness.

   I wondered where my dad was now.

  Is he okay? Is he wasting his life away gambling? I wish I could heal his wounded heart. I love him so much... but at the same time I'm mad at him for hating us. 

  "Who would want to stay with such a pathetic and disgusting kid." 

  Jonghyun... I wonder why he always treats me like that. I can't believe we used to be close.. I was really so blind back as a kid. That guy really, I hate him so much..

    "Who would want to stay with such a pathetic and disgusting kid." 

   Even so, his words haunted me, and I shut my eyes tight in frustration. Was he right? Maybe I was so repulsive that everyone left. Even Clara. Gosh, I miss everyone. I miss being with my dad and mom when everything was okay. Or rather, when everything seemed to be okay. I miss Clara; her always being there for me. I even miss Jonghyun; those times when he was like a kind big brother to me. I miss talking to him about everything and anything. 

  Am I really that hateful? 

  I slipped on my earphones in the dark, and listened to Act Like Nothing's Wrong by TOP, as I stared into dark nothingness.

  At times like these, I'm glad to have TOP by my side.

  [A/N]

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