A Farewell


A Farewell To Kim Jonghyun

A place for your messages to the late Kim Jonghyun. You can share your feelings here anonymously and find contact information of people with an open ear if you need to talk to someone. This is our way of saying goodbye. 




How to submit messages: You can either leave it as a comment or send it to the author as a private message. The recieved messages will be uploaded anonymously. You can message any of us at any given time. We will do our best to answer as soon as we can.

Upvoting and gifting Karma is still very much appreciated, so we can continue to advertise this place.

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Thank you.




There might be letters/messages that include mentions of self-harm and/or suicide. I don't want to put up any restrictions to this story, so please if you are sensitive, don't read chapters marked with a "(W)"


AIMRWV's note

This is my way of dealing with his death. You are not obliged to read these letters. But if you want to share your grief here you are very welcome to do so. Crying is good. So read those, knowing you are not alone. Cry a lot. Also this is not a place to judge. I post whatever you guys give me. This is a place for your grief. So I do not edit anything even if I dissagree. And you shouldn't either while reading. Leave opinions standing. We are all in the same boat. We need each other right now. Even if we disagree over things. Share love. Share support


If anyone is looking for a way to help: you are more than welcome to randomly choose some comments (also older ones) and answer them, tell each other that we are not alone, give strength, interact and support each other. This would mean the world to many.

This is not a place for advertisement of any kind, but for sharing grief. Please accept that.



There are people offering an open ear. I will link their profiles here, together with the languages they speak if you are more comfortable in your mother language. So you know where to go when you need someone to talk. If you want to be linked here as well, send me a message and I will link your profile.

If you or anyone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out to one of the following helplines at the list of international suicide hotlines

Make sure to read the following before you asked to be added: 
As people may be reaching out to you with distressing message of their own, I just wanted to remind you to be clear on where your boundaries lie and not being afraid to protect them. If you become upset by something someone is telling you, please don't hesitate to refer them to another listener who may be better able to deal with the situation or to explain that the situation is upsetting to you. Please also take measures to protect yourself on the Internet (i.e., not revealing personal id information, taking care to discuss only that which you are comfortable sharing etc.)Thank you for offering to help!


Open Ears:

Chusna (English, Indonesian)
Flow19 (English, Filipino)
Elfie15 (English)
Smile-AngElfs(English, Tamil)
Sanafiction (English, Japanese)
JungJuu (English, Indonesian)
Audiangell(English, Indonesian)
zero4life (English, Dutch, German)
DevilsPetal(English, German, Spanish)
Chiku_(English, Finnish)
Kwoncentrated(English, French, Turkish)
Taelnshippergirl(English,German, Turkish)
DeeXGee(English, Filipino)
Arylide04(English, Filipino)
 JenLee(English, Hindi, Tamil, Bengali)
3_Dolla_Snowberries(English, Vietnamese)
Bangtan35(English, Filipino)
PastelWolf88(English, Finnish, Swedish)
All4Nalu(English, Malay)
Banjjag(English, Danish)
Anon171288 (English)
ThisMomentWhen(English,German, Korean)
XuMingMao(English, French)
Kyamkouh(English, Filipino)
-Tuana-(English, Arabic)
ILovePikachu2(English, Nepalese, Hindi)
RedMist(English, Italian)
Tae-In_Kim(English, Korean, Indonesian)
Emerals_Vampire(English, Filipino)
ZzMabelcC(English, Spanish)
Biitch(English, Vietnamese)
Yultislay89(English, Indonesian)
Saphyxy(English, French, Spanish, Persian)
Spaktouniya(English, Arabic, French)
ChoiGurl1187 (English)
Aminaaz (English, Arabic)
Asphyxy (English, French, Spanish, Persian)
bassilea2217 (English, Spanish)
The9thDookong (English, French, Italian, Arabic)
RileyAnora (English, German)
--roseus (English, Portuguese)
seoul_lover (English, Danish)
Angel110 (English, German)
xXChocolateCookiesXx (English, Malay)
wilnikki (English, Filipino)
jeonies (English, Spanish)
gaksitalGaksital (English, Urdu)
Kylilies334(English, Hindi/Urdu, French)
tearrr (English, Serbian, Croatian,Bosnian)
GaksitalGaksital(English, Urdu, French)
Sillyvamp(English, Spanish)
OldPaperFan(English, French, Dutch)
SHINeeForeverLoverz(English, Malay, Korean, Chinese)
Lucidhoney10(English, Indonesian, Chinese)
Tidlslzl(English, Korean)


Karma Donators


Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

If you are reading this and have any karma points you don't need: gifted karma will be used for the advertising of this place. So, every single donation and upvote is very much appreciated.

Comments (757)

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gogo15eoul 0 points #1
Hi guys, Thank you for your idea i saw it from the beginning but i needed time
Admin: you're free to remove or hide that if it may be trigger warning
Hi jonghyun,
My message is late cause i couldn't say it before cause it's selfish plus i was afraid it would harm others or you
First i know about you by chance but i read it & continued work & laughed like my mind didn't believe that
The moment i reached home & closed the door i was in the ground crying but quickly i slept & for 4 days it was hard to eat however i tried
But i said "good bye, you did well jonghyun-ah" in your funeral day the sky was beautiful
I wasn't even that close to you but it hit me hard that i left everything in the KPOP world that i thought it's the reason for your struggles
I was angry at the fans the most, if your company & paparazzi was cruel i thought (We) the fans know that and choose to be blind. Cause( hey, when i saw your picture with black ribbon the first second it's suicide for sure before i read anything)
But i was stupid for that not any reason in the entertainment world or anything you have caused suicide
You know that, and I from all people know that better WHY?
Let me introduce myself i'm depressed psycho who tried suicide more than ten years
When i was young, i used to think that because i don't have that (love, friends, success, beauty, money, family) i didn't want life
But after i saw you i realized not any thing i don't have or anything you have is the reason
It doesn't worth, Not anything or anyone worth somebody's life
I didn't let myself cry cause i didn't want to get weak or depress more cause i know what i'm gonna think about .....
I went to parties & laughed & drank but i found myself suddenly broke in tears
It's hard for me cause i know exactly your feeling when you try to end your life better (kill yourself). Even this month i tried suicide twice ( guys, i'm trying that before jonghyun suicide a lot of times not because of him) every time i think, it's cruel for someone like you to have this feeling. Last time in 01/18 i tried inhaling burning coal for an hour till my eyes and chest got burning & felt dizzy, all place was hot and i was thinking did that what you feel jonghyun ? It's hard i knew (i just stopped cause i was home and it started to fly around & burn things around me, i didn't want to harm anyone by firing the place)
But i forget to transfer the coal to liquid but i will this time ( even that doesn't work, i'll try till it work)
I know that you guys who might read that would say ( who is this drama who look for attention? Or You're that selfish to write about yourself while we're trying to help each other Or Are you really sending that to jonghyun? )
Yes, i think that ONLY you jonghyun NOW understand me
Like i understand you that NOT anything you had or you didn't had was the reason
No One jump to suicide just because it doesn't work
We try everything we can or can't, We Should or shouldn't, Right & Wrong..... Till we had enough and all our strength gone, hold on in every hand, all our tears drenched us, asked for any help, breath till even breathing is hard & ripping our chest, our feeling become numb.
We didn't go there except that the only way to be free, happy & peace.
The only choice we have in life to end it cause we had already taken all other choices.
I pray No one go this way ever.
Now if i went there at least i'd find you jonghyun like i dreamt that your name became now EUNHYUN 은현 which mean the shining hyun
Thank you jonghyun, you were brave No blame on you, you did well, hope to see you soon, wait me there.
0 points #2
I was looking at some of your gifs and when I saw the screen shut at the end of your last concert, hiding you from my vision, I choked out a sob, because it looked...like everything screamed that it was going to be the last time we'd ever see you like that. To me you are still alive Jonghyun-ah. I can never accept your death. You are living somewhere doing some project, yes you are living with your members and you are on a short hiatus, yeah...
sakuno2 #3
Hi Jonghyun,

How are you? You know, today marks one month since you went away. Honestly, I feel like I go in denial every now and then. I keep going through a marathon of SHINee or just you. In those times, I forget completely that you are not here anymore. And then, I will scroll through the comments section or come across article or tribute for you and there someone would mention about being sorry and missing you and I would suddenly remember. I feel it is more hard to come to terms and accept it because I never met or seen you in person. To me who has always watched you on screen, you seem so alive, that I don't think I can ever really accept it. I remember my biggest wish was to see all of SHINee perform live. My wish almost came true when you all came to Toronto, but because of the things happening in life then, I couldn't make it. I was so sad and very disappointed but consoled myself thinking 'it's okay. They came once. They'll come again and when they do, I will not miss it.' I regret that moment so much. I thought I had all the time in the world. Thought that SHINee will always be around. Be it 10 years or 20 years. Well, technically SHINee is around. You were and will always be a SHINee member just like Onew and the others said. Nothing and no one can replace you.

You are loved by many remember that. Did you see Lee Hi perform Breath for you the you composed? It was heart wrenching. It really bought me to tears watching her stop in the middle, not being able to sing but still being strong enough for you to sing the last words to you. You worked hard Jonghyun. Hey wanna know an interesting thing? Just few days before I had a dream. It was about the 2018 concert. Fans were chanting and SHINee were doing what they do best, shinning in middle of a sea of aqua colour. The best part? You were there too. 5HINee were together. We couldn't see you but you were with your members/brothers on stage with beautiful blingy white wings. Dancing, singing, enjoying, watching and comforting the rest of SHINee and sometimes making fun of them too for doing crazy stuff, mostly Minho for now being shorter. You looked like you were happy and were having fun flying around from stage to stands. Maybe it was just my mind creating the dream after reading the members letters but I know that that day I smiled the brightest.

Watch over them, Jonghyun. Watch over your family. They are slowly picking themselves up, so be at peace but still always remember nothing can nor will ever fill your place. Missing you. And we all love you. Till next time. Bye ~
Jonghyunnie it's me again,

It's already been a month, yet I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you are no longer physically here. I understand why you made your final decision, I'm not mad at you. I know you gave your all and at the end of the day, you found your peace. The tears are still here, but they are slowly drying. I'm left with numbness, I feel it everyday. Please don't be mad at me when I said that I've been having troubling thoughts. I know that you'd be upset, but after the news came out I couldn't help but think of how easy one can leave this world. I hate myself so much because of it. I realized that although it seems like it may be hard mentally, it's so simple to slip away. I seen a picture of you on facebook last night. You were such an adorable baby, your mother was beautiful and looks as if she hasn't aged a day. What I couldn't help but think was that, this innocent toddler would one day take his life. I found myself wishing I could go back in time to that moment in the past where I can warn your mother of what was to come in about twenty five or so years. But I can't, that is what brings me back to reality.

Your family has decided to go through with the Japan concert, please watch over them. Althought it relieves me to know that they are slowly picking up the shattered pieces, I'm so scared that they haven't had enough time to grieve. I know they are strong, as you were, but please let them have mental peace. I have to go now, thank you for always listening.

AarohiReddy #5
Dear Jonghyun oppa,
I can't believe that it has already been a month. Time was supposed to heal all wounds. But why doesn't it hurt any less when I think of You? Why are there always tears at the mere thought of You? I feel like my heart is being shredded to pieces. Is it always going to hurt this much oppa? You were, are and always be my bias. I still remember the first time I heard your song. I was so eager to look you guys up online. They say that the kind of music a person listens to in their teens has influence on the way they grow up. And I am glad that my teenage was filled with your music. You once said that you were just someone who appears on t.v. but for me, you were my dream. You were my first crush. Oppa, you are at peace now right? I want to live a life that would make you proud. So help me oppa. Keep watching over me my Angel. I miss you so much.
I hope one day I can look back at your memories with a smile.
I'm late on this but,it's been a month since his departure..I still can't believe he's no longer here with us but he is at a better place now..I miss him so much.. ?
Babematsu #7
Jonghyun ah miss you so much... The world is so grey and sad without you. I don't know how to keep living knowing that I wont see your smile anymore... Its like everything lost its meaning. My parents say what you did is stupid but with every day I can understand you more and more. Please be in peace and happy now. Never stop loving you. I really miss you.
A day of a month, hours and seconds, till the clock ticks, sun rose and hid, night passed and next day was born.
Yet, a huge difference was made...
I want to go back in time, some how go to Korea and hold your hand, saying all the things you need to hear. I'm saying all these things but you are not here now. There won't go a day without thinking about you. This day, last month, few hours before, you were alive. This day, this month, I'm still searching, where are you now?
slygirl 1 points #9
Dear Jonghyun,
Hey, how are you my dear. I am doing good as well as i am trying to be. Everytime i had a bad day, i think of you which is almost everyday. Pretending that i am good and thinking forcefully that i am not a burden to my family. Inside i know i can't rid of these feelings forever. They surface eveytime i have a hardtime. The feeling of being weak, useless thing. But i have to keep living because that's the only thing that i can pretend for now. I don't know when will i break too but i hope i am still fine now. Hope you can fine peace in where ever you are now. Love you a lot. Thank you for being my inspiration for kpop.