A Farewell

Description

A Farewell To Kim Jonghyun

A place for your messages to the late Kim Jonghyun. You can share your feelings here anonymously and find contact information of people with an open ear if you need to talk to someone.
This is our way of saying goodbye. 

 

Foreword

ATTENTION

How to submit messages: You can either leave it as a comment or send it to the author as a private message. The recieved messages will be uploaded anonymously. You can message any of us at any given time. We will do our best to answer as soon as we can.

Upvoting and gifting Karma is still very much appreciated, so we can continue to advertise this place.

Share love♡

Thank you.

Sincerely,
AIMRWV

 

WARNING

There might be letters/messages that include mentions of self-harm and/or suicide. I don't want to put up any restrictions to this story, so please if you are sensitive, don't read chapters marked with a "(W)"

 

AIMRWV's note

This is my way of dealing with his death. You are not obliged to read these letters. But if you want to share your grief here you are very welcome to do so. Crying is good. So read those, knowing you are not alone. Cry a lot. Also this is not a place to judge. I post whatever you guys give me. This is a place for your grief. So I do not edit anything even if I dissagree. And you shouldn't either while reading. Leave opinions standing. We are all in the same boat. We need each other right now. Even if we disagree over things. Share love. Share support

 

If anyone is looking for a way to help: you are more than welcome to randomly choose some comments (also older ones) and answer them, tell each other that we are not alone, give strength, interact and support each other. This would mean the world to many.

This is not a place for advertisement of any kind, but for sharing grief. Please accept that.

 

REACH OUT

There are people offering an open ear. I will link their profiles here, together with the languages they speak if you are more comfortable in your mother language. So you know where to go when you need someone to talk. If you want to be linked here as well, send me a message and I will link your profile.

If you or anyone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out to one of the following helplines at the list of international suicide hotlines

Make sure to read the following before you asked to be added: 
As people may be reaching out to you with distressing message of their own, I just wanted to remind you to be clear on where your boundaries lie and not being afraid to protect them. If you become upset by something someone is telling you, please don't hesitate to refer them to another listener who may be better able to deal with the situation or to explain that the situation is upsetting to you. Please also take measures to protect yourself on the Internet (i.e., not revealing personal id information, taking care to discuss only that which you are comfortable sharing etc.)Thank you for offering to help!

 

Open Ears:

Starkookies(English,Serbian,Russian,Spanish)
Chusna (English, Indonesian)
Eunhaecupcake000(English)
Flow19 (English, Filipino)
Elfie15 (English)
Smile-AngElfs(English, Tamil)
Sanafiction (English, Japanese)
JungJuu (English, Indonesian)
Audiangell(English, Indonesian)
zero4life (English, Dutch, German)
StephDub(English)
DevilsPetal(English, German, Spanish)
CaithyCat1992(English,Filipino)
Chiku_(English, Finnish)
Kwoncentrated(English, French, Turkish)
Taelnshippergirl(English,German, Turkish)
Layni17(English)
DeeXGee(English, Filipino)
Moonstoned(English,Chinese)
Arylide04(English, Filipino)
 JenLee(English, Hindi, Tamil, Bengali)
3_Dolla_Snowberries(English, Vietnamese)
Ret097(English,French)
Bangtan35(English, Filipino)
PastelWolf88(English, Finnish, Swedish)
All4Nalu(English, Malay)
Jana11(English,Chinese)
JayDows(English)
Banjjag(English, Danish)
Anon171288 (English)
ThisMomentWhen(English,German, Korean)
NCTNCity27(English)
Pop-Inspired(English)
XuMingMao(English, French)
Kyamkouh(English, Filipino)
-Tuana-(English, Arabic)
ILovePikachu2(English, Nepalese, Hindi)
RedMist(English, Italian)
Tae-In_Kim(English, Korean, Indonesian)
Emerals_Vampire(English, Filipino)
ZzMabelcC(English, Spanish)
Biitch(English, Vietnamese)
Yultislay89(English, Indonesian)
Saphyxy(English, French, Spanish, Persian)
Spaktouniya(English, Arabic, French)
ChoiGurl1187 (English)
Aminaaz (English, Arabic)
Asphyxy (English, French, Spanish, Persian)
bassilea2217 (English, Spanish)
The9thDookong (English, French, Italian, Arabic)
RileyAnora (English, German)
--roseus (English, Portuguese)
seoul_lover (English, Danish)
Angel110 (English, German)
xXChocolateCookiesXx (English, Malay)
wilnikki (English, Filipino)
jeonies (English, Spanish)
gaksitalGaksital (English, Urdu)
Kylilies334(English, Hindi/Urdu, French)
tearrr (English, Serbian, Croatian,Bosnian)
Ruiseu(English,Filipino)
Jimminniee(English)
GaksitalGaksital(English, Urdu, French)
Sillyvamp(English, Spanish)
OldPaperFan(English, French, Dutch)
SHINeeForeverLoverz(English, Malay, Korean, Chinese)
Lucidhoney10(English, Indonesian, Chinese)
Tidlslzl(English, Korean)
 
 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

AIMRWV
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Comments (749)

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roseey
0 points #1
A day of a month, hours and seconds, till the clock ticks, sun rose and hid, night passed and next day was born.
Yet, a huge difference was made...
I want to go back in time, some how go to Korea and hold your hand, saying all the things you need to hear. I'm saying all these things but you are not here now. There won't go a day without thinking about you. This day, last month, few hours before, you were alive. This day, this month, I'm still searching, where are you now?
slygirl 0 points #2
Dear Jonghyun,
Hey, how are you my dear. I am doing good as well as i am trying to be. Everytime i had a bad day, i think of you which is almost everyday. Pretending that i am good and thinking forcefully that i am not a burden to my family. Inside i know i can't rid of these feelings forever. They surface eveytime i have a hardtime. The feeling of being weak, useless thing. But i have to keep living because that's the only thing that i can pretend for now. I don't know when will i break too but i hope i am still fine now. Hope you can fine peace in where ever you are now. Love you a lot. Thank you for being my inspiration for kpop.
Ghad20
32 streak 0 points #3
Every time I remember this
It just hurts inside
Just hurts, how we couldn't notice his grief when he kept saying it out loud over and over again
He's an angel now
I only live with the idea that he is happier now wherever he is
TaeTaeHan 0 points #4
Jonghyun you were the first. There came seconds and thirds - only separated by years or mere months - but you were the first. The seconds were boys who's faces shone bright with soft effeminate features. The thirds were girls who danced cutely and evoked laughter and happiness from within. But Jonghyun, you were and will always be the first. I've loved many, cherished many, cried with many, yet I won't forget how IMPORTANT you were to me when I first stumbled into this crazy Kpop world. Your voice pulled me in while your face made me stay. My heart tugged towards you while my mind held it in place. I remember having only one thought, 'Wow. This guy's amazing.' My thoughts couldn't have been more true than they already were. For years I stayed with you and found solace in your voice and lone existence. Admittedly, I was of course more smitten with you than Minho, who I considered my bias wrecker. The years stretched out until I could no longer stay in this bubble, this bubble of you and only you. I turned to new groups, new styles and a new book in kpop. You became a distant memory as I got too caught up with my seconds. Then, you were forgotten as I stayed with my thirds. I regret kicking you to the curb as I followed the crowd and what they preferred instead of what I preferred. I shouldn't have disregarded that spark that we once shared in favor of fitting in and gaining new friends - for that I am sorry. You're gone but it's never too late. It's never too late for anything. I believe that you are up there looking down on us with long whites cascading down your back- said whites blended in a perfect symphony. So I am sorry jonghyun. You were suffering while I relished in the selfish happiness I crafted myself. I should've noticed signs or at least stayed. I know I am merely a young fan (a single one in the majority) yet I know that you cherished every single one of us. GODS I MISS YOU. I cant just ask for you back though. You're FREE from the pains you worked so hard to cover up, from the taunts of those who truly did not know you. You were so precious. YOU WERE A GIFT. Gods. I feel like crying again even after draining so much of my tears. I love you Jonghyun. We all love you.
kim_sujin
0 points #5
Dear Jonghyun,

Are you okay? It’s been a month here, without you. I’m starting to wake up from the dream, pray the best of you up there. And still. Sometime opening your video, watching you smile with the other guys.

The pain never go away when people talked about you like they know every single things. Because what? Me, your fans actually don’t know anything.

And why should them? Talking.

I don’t blame, they don’t understand either.

Good night, sleep tight, until we meet again Jonghyun.
davian
0 points #6
its has been a month to day yet it feels like yesterday all thus happened. A friend of my is celebrating her birthday and I could not wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY because it remind me of your death. this is so unfair
it got me thinking about how are they fairing both parent, sister and brother, your friends and fan. thus is a thing of sorrow. am sorry for not trying hard. its still hurt.
2minjk
0 points #7
It hurts... It still doesn't feel real till now i am waiting to wake up from this nightmare but it seems like i am trapped in it and can never wake up..... Kim Jonghyun i hope you are happy now that you are in peace and without any pain..... I love you and all the other SHINee members and i will never stop loving you guys.... 5HINee helped me in my dark times i wish i could do the same for you as well.... You did well jonghyun.... RIP
BaekTanLUV
0 points #8
Jonghyunah I hope you're happy now.
You know I'm also feeling down.I also don't wanna live anymore.I don't know what to do with my life .No don't blame yourself. It's not because of you.I'm depressed even from before. Your songs helps me so much to calm down you know .I don't know how to keep myself going.I'm still breathing.Thanks to you. I listen 'lonely' Everyday before I start my life . I'm still in high school.So everyone thinks it's impossible to feel depressed because I'm still so tiny. But you know, I am depressed. I don't know anything . I hate everyone. I just can't keep going. I hate my studies. I hate sitting on exams. I just don't know why. 2 Feb is my final. I don't know what I'm gonna do there. I hate it when some people text me or tries talk to me or console me. But hell I don't want any of this. Maybe you're so happy there right? Because you're living somewhere else now .without facing s like I am in. I'm jealous . Still Be happy. And wish me Good luck. You're always here in my heart till I'm alive.
pinaywriter 0 points #9
Coping with all this by writing about him as an angel.
https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1316384 Wrote it here, still writing it actually. I couldn't do it as soon as it happened. I was actually planning to do a story before their comeback. And while gathering information (since I am a VIP not a Shawol and not an SM stan, YGstan) his passing happened so there I was newly minted fan not knowing where to put my feels and my sorrow. Around me were fans of the same generation who are also fans of Shinee's music. We in YG fam love him for Breathe and found comfort in that song and then the loss just brought an earthquake hit kind of feeling for everyone. People were beyond shocked. What came out of it was the we (mostly) fought for more chances to be with people we love and slowly became more permissive of the artists we liked to have lives that have someone who can support them. I think after he was gone, some idols has some epiphany that they are only living once and that they matter more than profit. I have seen braver souls come out and say "This is the person I love, I am not just an idol, I am a man too. I am a person too." And I especially love how IU just spoke out that idols are people too and we need to give them a chance to rest and be understood. And that they are not infallible.
I hope that they are doing better. It's not a matter of not moving on. It is a matter of remembering.
As a person who has a very difficult time crying, his loss made me literally prone to being sick. And my mental state (although outwardly I helped some friends through the initial shock of it all) has gone worse and my insomnia was triggered by what happened. I think that for people like me who are not able to cry easily, the aftereffects of not being able to express our grief would have long term damage. What happened is that the people in our community (the kpop community) even went under attack for caring about his death over natural disasters in our country. And it made us feel more exhausted that we had to defend our grief to narrow-minded people. But it became more of a time when people learned to lend a hand and reach out to those who need someone to talk them out of bad thoughts or just be there to talk to them. It's difficult and it would be nice if someone just went out at a Kpop event and just put "Free hugs if you miss Jonghyun today" sign on their shirt and had their arms open. ToT
It's really hard. I have yet to cry. But for me writing a story is turning my unshed tears to words that someone else can read and hopefully it would give them comfort.
Everyone, we can get through today, and tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.
You are not alone. We are all here. TAKE YOUR TIME. Don't let anyone dictate when you are going to be moving on or getting over something. My uncle did five years ago. I am still not over it. I miss him every time I am with my family and I miss him whenever happy things happened and bad things happened. I remember our very last conversation together and it gives me joy and sorrow and regret and strength all at the same time.
#WithYou #YouDidWell today. That's enough, you're enough. Remember that you are loved, if not by those around you but those who you might not know yet. And by Jonghyun.
Aimensi_2402 0 points #10
Chapter 655: I felt something in 2017, a voice kept telling me to pay attention to Shinee... How foolish was I to not have paid attention, I know my paying attention to them couldn't have changed anything, but maybe, seeing support from his international fans would have made him feel stronger... Kim Jonghyun, I'm sorry that I didn't support you or pay attention to you, dear Angel, I hope that you're at peace now... You are my eternal bias~! I promise to keep loving your brothers and supporting them~! I just know that no matter what you are and will remain an irreplaceable voice in KPOP and in music... You're a brilliant and talented person and Heaven just gained an angel, an amazing angel with a voice made for the heavens... Jinki, Kibum, Minho & Taemin, stay strong, I as a fan will support you in the best and only way that I can... Shinee is going to keep shining~! ONe month ago Kim Jonghyun left us, but his departure, as sad and overwhelming as it may be, it helped us realize that although someone may have all the fame, success and fortune, they might not be happy with it... Jonghyun was suffering for a long time, but now he's hopefully at peace... I will always think of your our precious Dino oppa~! <3 Saranghae, You did very well~!