I cried a lot, today. At college, I smile and next second I went numb inside. when I came home, I broke down in confinement, seeing twitter going all about your funeral. It rained here today and I felt like you patted on my shoulder saying, "It's okay". Thank you, Jonghyun. You were amazing. Seriously, you are too good for this earth. I've always wanted a friend like you, but then fate played a cruel joke by setting us apart. You are so my type. I would have cherished you everyday, I would have been your side even if you'd dislike me. People here always don't mingle with me and I'm too busy to care about them. Many other shawols would want to be with you but again you were so far away from us. Now you are even more far away from us. It's an agony to watch members' crying face, Jonghyun-ah. The last ot5 moment we'd ever get. You could have given yourself another chance. I know you are happy now, but...maybe for one more time, you could have acted selfless. You did well, Jonghyun. You made us proud in these ten years of time. I hate endings and beginnings, because every time something begins, it ends. Your's ended pretty quickly. It's okay. Time is not the matter, the impact you left is what matters the most. 


You did something that people would take centuries to do. I know up there, you will have so many angel friends, but when you feel like talking to some earth friends, you can talk to me. I won't ignore your words, Jonghyunnie. 
I feel the pain, but I'm trying my best to swallow it and smile, because that's what you ever wanted. Just make a promise that you'd guide your brothers aka members. They miss u a lot.