You Mean So Much To Me
A Farewell
It's been a month already? it feels like it's been ages, but at the same time it feels as though it was yesterday. Jonghyun, I hope you're happy now. I hope you’ve found peace, and you realize how much everyone loves and misses you. Your family, your friends, the members, and us, your fans... we keep thinking about you, and pray for your happiness.
I'm so sorry. I wish I could have done something so you wouldn't have felt this way. You've given so much love, and made so many people happy. You lived your life well. You worked so hard, you lived every day with sincerity, and you were always ready to stand by and help people. You did well. Of all people, you don't deserve to have felt like failure, you're far from one.
Do you know whose face struck me the most when I watched "Replay"? Do you know whose name I learned the first in Shinee? Do you know who was the closest thing I had to a bias in Shinee? It was you.
You were my first OST from my first drama. You were the first kpop group I really fangirled over, and whose variety shows I obsessed over.
You mean so much to me. I still cry, and I miss you. I know that you would want us to stop being sad, and move on. One should grieve, but then be happy. I'm sorry, I can't do that, because of the way you left this world. Death is painful, and suicide is the most painful form of death. I know it. I know how it feels to want to disappear from this world, and that you see no point in continuing this pointless and miserable existence. It’s a terrible feeling, and the worse is, you can't stop it, it eventually swallows you whole. That you felt these things too... it's not fair. You don't deserve it. You deserve to feel loved, and to be happy.
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