Because I Love You, Because I Have To

Gyu Ri’s POV

I dashed out of the room not caring about the hushed whisperings which were happening around me. They could talk all they want; all I know was that I had to find Hong Ki.

I had to let him know, I never wanted any of this.

I searched high and low for him, every single room in the building. I stepped outside in the night’s cool breezy air but he was nowhere in sight.

My head was spinning; beads of perspiration had started to form on my forehead. Where had he gone to?

I saw him leaving, I saw him pushing his way through after the announcement was made. I watched him as he kept his head down just like whenever he did when he didn’t want people to find out he was hurting.

I walked around aimlessly for a few minutes until I saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench a few feet away from me.

Hong Ki.

I trudged my feet over towards him, my heart racing with every step that I took. I didn’t know why, but it seems like my heart was telling me to walk away and leave.

“Hong Ki,” I called out to him softly.

I waited for about half a minute before he finally lifted up his head and smiled sadly at me.

“Gyu Ri. Is the party over yet?”

I shook my head slightly as I took a seat beside him. I reached up my hand to touch him on the shoulder gently.

“Are you okay?”

That smile was still fixed on his face as he glanced sideways at me.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “About just now, back there. You know I...”

“Gyu Ri, I think you should go back before your parents come looking for you,” he cut me off.

“Why are you doing this?” I cried out. “Why are you trying to push me away?”

He averted my eyes as he looked back down on his shoes with his hands clasped together.

“I’m not trying to push you away,” he began.

“Then what are you doing? What? Explain it to me!”

“What do you want me to do?” he shot back exasperatedly. “What Gyu Ri? What do you expect me to do in this kind of situation?”

“Lee Hong Ki, do you love me?” I asked him as I tried to keep my voice steady.

He took a moment before answering.

“I do.”

“Then fight for me.”

His lips curved up into a mocking smile.

“Really? Can I Gyu Ri? Can I fight this losing battle and win at the end of the day?”

“Why are you giving up without even trying?”

“Without trying?” he repeated. “So what do you think I’ve been doing all these while?”

“We can get through this, I believe in us.”

“Have you ever asked yourself Gyu Ri; are you really completely over Jong Hyun?”

I felt as if I had just been given a tight slap across my face. I felt my face getting hot as I clenched my fists tightly.

“How could you say that?”

“My mistake then,” he said simply.

I shook my head in disbelief. No, this was not happening. I must be hearing the wrong things. There was no way I still had feelings for Jong Hyun after the way he treated me.

Right?

“We should stop here,” he said suddenly.

“What?” I whispered hoarsely.

“Let’s never meet again.”

His words were like an arrow piercing through my heart. Everything just came crashing down at that moment and I wished for once; that the ground would open up and I could just disappear.

I gripped his arm tightly and shook him violently as to make sure he was fully aware of what he was saying.

“You can’t possibly be serious about this.”

“Since when am I not serious?”

There was no stopping the floodgates which had been threatening to spill from just now. My heart felt like bursting and the sinking feeling in my stomach was getting deeper.

All I wanted was for Hong Ki to say he was just pulling a cruel joke on me; that he didn’t mean a word he had just said.

But no. He still remained there with the emotionless face and I could feel his body stiffening up at my touch.

Slowly, I pulled my hand away and edged away from him.

“So this is how it ends.”

Without answering, he got up and stood in front of me.

“Jong Hyun is a better choice than me. He seems like a changed man, give him a chance.”

I sat there stunned; unable to say anything. Everything was still happening too fast for me in just one night.

“Gyu Ri,” he said as he placed both hands on my shoulders. “Promise me you’ll take good care of yourself okay? I don’t want to meet you in a drunk condition anymore,” he joked lightly.

 How can still joke at times like this?

Drunk.

He was my saviour.

Hong Ki was the one who pulled me out of this mess.

And now, he’s the one who’s going to plunge me into another problem.

Only this time, he won’t be around to rescue me anymore. I was going to be left all by myself.

He won’t be there to make hot chocolate for me when I get cold. He’s not going to watch sappy old movies and cry along with me anymore. He won’t be the one to eat candy floss with me when we go for rides in the amusement park.

No.

Hong Ki wasn’t going to be a part of my life anymore.

I threw my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as I could.

“Please don’t go. I’m begging you.”

I felt him pulling away from me slowly as he knelt down in front of me.

He reached up his hand and wiped a tear away from my face.

“Don’t cry. I’ve told you that will only make you more weak right?”

“You’re the one who’s making me cry.”

Then, as though time had stopped for a moment, he leaned in close to me and placed a tender kiss on my forehead.

And I know, at that very second, I’ve lost the most precious person in my life.

Note; Hey guys, this is the finale for the Jonghyun/Gyuri/Hongki story :( But perhaps, there's a sequel ^^