What could she be feeling right now? What is the feeling of knowing that the one you love is staring at you, like you’re her one of a kind treasure she has ever laid her eyes on? The leader wanted to ask these questions she had, out of curiosity, at the blonde girl sleeping on her bed right now. OR, to put it exactly, the blonde girl who is supposed to be drunk and sleeping but actually isn’t. But, she knows she shouldn’t speak about it. She knows she should stay quiet at this kind of situations. 

    She turned her back on the two and pretended to still finding her choice of Yerin’s clothes, not caring if it’s weird already, considering the amount it takes for her to choose clothes for the other. While doing so, a memory of what happened just a while ago resurfaces on the back of her eyes. 

    ---------Flashback-----------

    “Unnie, don’t worry. I’m not that drunk. I can still handle myself.” The blonde girl told their leader who was fastening her seatbelt for her. She was answered by a glare followed by a reprimanding looks from her.

    “I may be harsh but this should be stopped already. I thought you two are okay already? Why did you drink then?” The leader asked.

    “I just celebrated with Joy’s and the Red Velvet’s win.” Yerin defended herself.

      “And when did you start drinking to celebrate? I didn’t know that happens.” She said sarcastically.

      Yerin was about to speak to support her claim but Sowon didn’t allowed her to. “I know already. In case you didn’t hear correctly what Joy said, I’ll tell it to you in a gist. You drunk with her because you want to celebrate the win, yes, that’s true, partially, since Joy told me that almost 40% of the talk was about SinB, 30% was about your relationship with her and 10% was your plan of not giving up and just taking courage again to confess to her. That leaves 20% for the congratulatory win. Wait, my mistake. You still talk about how you love her and can still not forget her and that takes up for about 5%.”

      “Unnie..” That’s Yerin trying to speak but Sowon is on fire.

      “So, don’t tell me you drank just to celebrate. Anyway, I love that 10% she’s talking about. I should also applaud myself for remembering those figures. I guess, she has drank a lot too, considering she said those.”

    Yerin sighed, “I do put some distance that I thought are needed but that doesn’t mean I stop loving her.” She mumbled.

    “What made you think that there’s even a distance needed?” Sowon asked curiously. She asked because she really doesn’t understand why. She doesn’t see why there should be a distance. It’s obvious they love each other. She thought.

      “She told me to act forget what happened that night. So, that’s like saying I should not be expressive about my feelings right? Since, as you know, I confessed that day to her.”

      Throwing her hands up in the air, Sowon frustratedly said“Ah, I don’t know! These things doesn’t make sense!” 

      Yerin giggled. “I know.” She smiled but it falters soon enough. “Even if I say, I’ll forget her. I still can’t send her away.”
    
      “Look, unnie. The snowflakes are falling… like me falling for her.” Yerin says, smiling again, still looking at the window. “I miss her.” She said to no one in particular. 

     Silence enveloped the two of them, probably due to the loss of words about the situation. It’s just confusing as it is. Probably, since both of them didn’t want this to happen yet they can’t approach the other about it. Leaving them in the end to decide if they’ll spin around and took courage, if they want to end this thing and achieve what they want, or they’ll turn around, acting like there’s nothing happening, hiding their feelings in the depths of their heart, letting it to be nurtured there or maybe, someday be forgotten… And perhaps, leaving the people around them do their part in fixing this mess. This mess that shouldn’t even be a mess to start with… 

     It shouldn’t be, just if emotions, impulses and slapdash decisions are not left to control everything.

    Maybe, sometimes, they would be thinking of that particular cold snowy night, wishing that if they just have been more mature, maybe things would be better. Maybe, they were able to say their feelings to that person. If they have been more mature or even just to act like they’re mature, then maybe there’s a possibility that they’ll be the one who will hold the hand of their cherished person. If they just then perhaps, they can hold the hand of ‘that’ person in this cruel world. 

      Or perhaps, it wouldn’t even be a cruel world with their new perspective…
    
    “Do you still love her then? Do you still have the same feelings for her even though you’re hurting like this?” Sowon asked the younger girl watching the sceneries barely seen outside the window.

      Yerin nods, still looking outside the window, watching all the trees pass by swiftly as their van goes on with constant speed. She let herself watch the darkness and be touched by how it let the light take over. It makes her feel emotional yet calm. It feels as if it’s telling her that the pain will fade away like how the darkness disappeared – gradual, soft… and soon.

    It made her hope that it would be like that for her too. The pain would go away soon; just as it lets the light comes in her life and shows her the beautiful vibrant colors she is seeing before, embracing her world, and showing her the wonders any mystery of each little matter.

    She smiled. She remembered how her name speaks of wonders too.  The name tells of something that even she is unable to describe. A mystery – her name means a mystery.  That same meaning goes with her charm. You can’t describe it yet you’re falling for that charm. I am falling for her charm. She told herself. And, I’m still falling… deeply.

    She looked up at the sky. When was the last time I looked up and saw something this beautiful? She asked herself.  She smiled. She’s my star. She told herself as if making her brain accept the fact that the girl really is. She’s my light. She added. Somehow, looking at the sky, she felt braver. As if, it’s telling her that she could be happy, that there could be light that would make the darkness go away, if she would just be braver and…

    "What are you thinking?” the leader asked interrupting her thoughts. “Are you dizzy? You can sleep. I’ll wake you up once we’re there.” 

    Yerin turn her gaze away from the sky and looked at her unnie. “I’m thinking that maybe things would be better if I just do what I wanted to do – if I would approach her and told her everything, including my feelings for her and I won’t stop ‘til she believe me.”

     “I’ll support whatever decision you will make, but if you want my advice. I highly suggest that you do. Even our members would probably say that too.”

     Yerin nodded. “I’m just looking at the sky and I figured that no matter how dark and cold the season is, it cannot be forever… Have you seen it already?” She asked the leader enthusiastically.

      “The stars are back in their positions.” She told the leader proudly, like a child who is seeing a lot of stars for the first time.

    Sowon chuckled. She finds it cute that Yerin is acting like the bubbly way she is, her bright smile reappearing on her face. 

    She looked above and checked what Yerin was saying. And true to her words, the sky is brightly lit by stars.  There are so many of them that you can make constellations out of them, if you try to draw one. It’s just like the beautiful pictures seen circulating in the internet. It’s like the paintings you can see on a gallery visited by tourists. She hummed in agreement to her, feeling the kind of hope Yerin is feeling.
    
    “Unnie, do you think she’ll be those stars for me?”

    The older looked at her for a moment before speaking. But, instead of an answer for what she is asking, the leader answered her with another question. “Can I say something I know instead? I think you should know these but I’m afraid I’ll spoil things.” She revealed.