“I’m going at Red Velvet’s dorm. Is it okay?” Her still, favorite unnie asked.

    She’s surprised. Her unnie is asking her if it’s alright if she goes to her bestfriend’s dorm at nine in the evening.

Guess, it’ll hurt like this every time she’ll talk about her. She told herself.

She swallowed and tried to speak but she’s scared that a broken voice would flung to the air. And so, she decided to just give a nod – a nod and a smile - that smile that didn’t reach her eyes. And so, no matter how she make it seems like she doesn’t care, her eyes would always tell a different story. 

    She wanted to tell her unnie to stop asking her if she’s okay with it, because she’s tired of lying that it is okay and she’s alright for her too. However, she’s also thinking that she should be grateful already that her unnie is asking her opinion. Though, she never really voices her true opinion about it, every time she would ask.

     “I can stay if you want.” Yerin added, seeing the look from SinB’s eyes. “I just want to congratulate her and the whole Red Velvet for their win, anyway.”

    “Ah, no, It’s really okay. I think you must go now or you’ll be late.” She answered again. I don’t even have the right to choose for her and to make her stay just because I wanted to. That’s a little selfish too if I did. She thought.

    And so, she smiled again, trying hard to make her unnie believe her that it’s fine. “Go now. Be sure to come home early.” She said, pushing her gently at the back towards her supposed direction.

“We’ll be fine. I’ll be fine…” She lied again. 

---------    --------      ---------

    Am I even fine? She asked herself, looking at the back of her favorite unnie who have finished getting her stuff and is now on her way somewhere. Somewhere she would seem to be far away from SinB. Well, that’s how she sees it.

    Guess, I am, partially. Because parts of me is still hurting. Weeks have passed and I’m still hurting. And here I am again, standing outside, under the dark sky, feeling like I’m shattering slowly. I always told myself that I should be a glass bead. Just like how we sing it all, a glass bead that doesn’t easily break. But, I guess, I may not be if you would be the reason behind it.

    I said, I should be strong but what can I do if one of my sources of strength is slowly getting away from me. What can I do if I feel like you’re going away from me? I repeatedly told myself that I can’t fall for you. I tried making myself forget this feelings and focus on others. I even make myself believe that I love somebody, though, perhaps, I probably did too, but it is not as great