Yerin

                After we did our performances of Glass Bead, Me Gustas Tu, Rough, and Navillera and we're also done with gayo daejun for today, I quickly followed a certain person who went straight to our van, looking so tired.

                When I arrived at our van, I saw her at her usual place at the van, already sleeping. She must be so tired because of our nonstop performances here and there.  I also know for a fact that that isn't the only reason she might be feeling so tired. I know she’s hurting inside. She might not show it but I know she is. We know. We doesn't know the real and complete story about what happened between him and her, but it just got to us that they didn't work out anymore. We just got to know that something happened and they broke up already. Nobody dare to ask her. She doesn't seem to appear like she wanted to talk about it anyway. And, by all means, we do understand.

                I looked at her one more time before I sighed and decided to just quietly sit beside her.

                I don't usually sit here at the back since I get dizzy because of motion sickness. So, Eunha and she usually sits here. I should just tell the older Eunbi that I would be occupying her space for a while. She wouldn't complain anyway since she would be sitting next to the love of her life.

                My attention was succesfully caught by the small movement in my peripheral view. I turned my head towards the movement and I witness how her hair falls slowly and covered a part of her beautiful face. I carefully got that stray hair out and put it back to it's order. She might have a stiff neck later. I should make her more comfortable.

                I moved closer to her and gently put my hands on her head, supporting it, as I positioned myself so she could rest her head on my shoulder. I heard her mumble something which unfortunately, I did not decipher. I ignored it and continue trying to make her comfortable, since she really, sometimes, mumble words while she is sleeping. 

                When I secured our position and I'm sure she would feel more comfortable I looked forward and waited for the other members to come. There are some fansites outside but I guess I can't interact with them right now. SinB needs me. Though sadly, this is the only thing I could do.

                I wish I could do more.

                I wish I could wipe those tears she had.

                I wish, just like before, I could put a smile on her face. I'll gladly do anything for her to have that smile back on that small yet pretty face of her. Happiness suit her. 

              I know, sometimes, things just have to go like that. Life isn't that easy. It would always have its turns and twists that you would thought it isn't in order. It is like how a branch of Physics or in Chemistry would say it. Is it the second law of thermodynamics? Whatever it is, it states that all the spontaneous processess occur in the nature from higher to lower potential, until it become stable. Somehow, it says that a certain amount of irreversible change would always happen. When I thought of it, I somehow agree with its logic. It would be irreversible because we, obviously, cannot bring back time. And as much as how complicated the words has been used, with all of its formulas, I also think of it as something inspirational.

                It is like it is saying that the irreverisible changes might happen on this universe. They would happen until things become stable. After all those changes, it will end up on making our lives better.

                I am not that cold of a person, and definitely not a callous person, but I think it is better to see this change that happened between SinB and her idol friend as another irreversible change that might lead us to the betterment.

               Though, of course, it still puzzles me out. 

               I have never seen this break up happening. I'm quite surprise. Okay, maybe not, since the bad part of me kind of fantasize about her ending up with me but I should stop my gayness and be contented on being by her side.

                Really, I thought they love each other so much. Well, yes, I understand that they are both popular idols. But, why would they break up? Did they get tired with those secret moments? Have they fallen out of love from each other? Is that possible? Just like how some other idols who dated before, telling the media that they broke up because of busy schedules.

                Oh, why am I even thinking about this?

                “Yerin-ah! Have you seen SinB? Is she there?” A tall girl, running towards us, asked loudly, breaking my train of thoughts.

                “Yes, unnie! She’s in here and she’s already asleep, tired, probably.” I told Sowon-unnie, our leader.

                Though I told her that Sinb is already here asleep, Sowon unnie still ran to the van with a concerned face to check if she’s really in here. “Hwang Eunbi!” Sowon said while searching for her in our van. “Here! She's beside me, don’t worry unnie.” I told her while waving my hand to get her attention and my other hand gesturing her to keep her voice down.

                She’s always like that. She will do everything for us. Even the task of worrying should be hers, that's what she said. She would be telling us not to worry because she should be the one worrying or shouldering the problems, and she would always make sure that everything will be okay. And that of course includes, us, being okay. Though, she’s not acknowledging that she’s a good leader but for us she’s the best leader that we know. Just like SinB said, a 200/100 leader.

              And there's no other better leader we could have beside her.

                Not too long after, I heard multiple camera shutters and then followed the other members arriving on the van. I watched them wave and smile to the fans, then comfortably sit on their respective positions in the van after. Sowon-unnie being the last, as she would always make sure we are all inside the van before she hops in. Eunha doesn't even went towards her sit because as soon as our eyes met, I saw her smile and sit on my seat. 

               Yes, everyone of us knows what SinB is going through right now. And, on that note, Eunha also knows what I've been going through since the news reached me that SinB is dating that rising star that is almost on a worldwide level already. Eunha has been there listening to my rants, the sentences I spit out due to my jealousy which has reached its limit, and