You went straight to home after work, you changed into your pajama before headed to the living room. You plopped on the couch, staring at the ceiling before closing your eyes and let out a deep sigh. Your eyes shot opened when you felt like someone sat on the couch beside you. Namjoon sat beside you but not closed, turned the TV on.

"Why you always let out a sigh?"Namjoon asked you while his eyes glued to the TV. You stared blankly at the TV before answering him.

"Just stressed out over nothing"

"Aren't you lonely in this house all the time?"

"It just the same like having a lot of friends but the loneliness still hugged you"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing"You said then you both fell in silenced, comfortable silenced.

"I talk to my mom about our divorce"You blurted out of nowhere make him froze for seconds before staring at you with hoping eyes that brought your heart to ached again. You knew that he wanted this marriage to end so badly so he can marry to Su Min and officially call Su Min his 'wife'.

"She didn't allowed me to"You said, you can see the sparks in his eyes immediately gone. He smiled slightly at you.

"I guess we're stuck to each other forever"

You didn't know whether to happy or sad, you should be happy since you stuck with him..Namjoon but yet it pain you to see him with his girlfriend loved each other when he didn't loved you. You hated being the wall in their relationship, you wanted him to be happy. You don't wanted to stuck with someone, in a marriage with someone else who not yours. You loved him even though you knew it too well that he's not yours only in marriage contract but not in his heart. His heart only for Su Min, he'll not give a room for you in his heart. All pieces of his heart is Su Min's and so does Su Min's heart belong to him.

"Yeah, it "You said to him make him chuckled. You smiled to yourself, feeling so low and pathetic. Stealing someone else who is not yours will never leave a good result like they said. Your stomach growling like a mad dog make you flushed in deep crimson while Namjoon laughed out loud. You let out a sly smile to him. You stood on your feet, heading to the kitchen preparing dinner for both of you.

"Anyway, you don't need to cook dinner for me. I'm going to eat dinner with Su Min. If you okay with that?"Namjoon shouted from the living room. You chuckled darkly to yourself.

'Who am I to said a word about it? I'm his wife...why can't I protest like a normal wife should be. Right, I'm not his neither him. Life is such a cruel maze' You thought to yourself. You just cooked a fast and simple dinner for yourself since your stomach kept begging you to fill in.

You sat at the dining table and ate quietly as possible while your eyes attached to your novel like usual. If your mother saw you eating while reading book, she will definitely scold you for your family every meals time are important. That's when you guys will speak to each other, your mother make that routine so she wanted to know how the other are doing. Since your family always spent time alone, you in your room. Your sisters always go out but will come back every meals time. Your youngest brother spent time with your stepfather and leaving your mother alone without no one. Eventually she always depends on you. You're the only who hate to go out but you always spent your time in your room, if you can you don't even want to get out from your room.

Eating alone make you remind of your mother, how lonely to eat alone that's why she create the routine. It is lonely after all. A sigh escaped from your mouth, you stared at the book lifelessly. Loneliness took over your body again, your best friend came to greeted you again. You zoned out, you kept in touch with your imagination. You wanted to escaped from reality, the harsh reality.

Out of nowhere, you felt a poked on your cheeks. You fell out from your own 'world' back to reality. Your eyes met with Namjoon who smiled slightly at you. You frowned at him before slightly blushed realizing the gap between you and Namjoon.

"You always zoned out"Namjoon said to you, you rolled your eyes at him.

"I have my own world in my own head"

"Well after all, our own world can't beat the reality but we have to accepted the reality"Namjoon said, you just smiled to him.

"And I wonder why you always sigh?"

"Just because"You said to him make he squinted his eyes at you.

"Is there something that stressing you out?"Namjoon asked you, your eyes stared deep into his eyes before you smirked darkly.

"Do you want me to list it one by one?"You said to him make he raised an eyebrow at you.

"I'm listening"Namjoon said to you, your heart beat faster again at his kindness to you. You don't get it why he being kind to you. You prefer Namjoon to be cold to you not Namjoon to be kind to you because you knew it too well you're going to fell in deep if he's like this to you.

"You don't deserve to listen to my every problems. They're more complicated than you think"You snapped at him before picked up your plate and washed it, leaving your novel on the table. He stared at your back for awhile, he sometimes can't understand you that well. You're an open book but yet the book that full of puzzles. Sometimes you kind with him and sometimes you're so cold but he knew it too well that there still a lot of you that he didn't knew about.

You sat back at the dining table, focusing on the book again. Completely ignoring his presence. He just stared at you like he could burned a hole through you.

"What did I need to do so I deserve to listen to your problems"Namjoon said make you looked up from the book, staring at him with bored look.

"Be shut the up please"You spat at him but he didn't seems to bothered at all, he knew it that you're going to be cold. He get used when you cursed at him.

"You said you're going to dinner with Su Min, so why don't you go already?"

"She'll be quiet late for the dinner, she'll call me if she's ready"Namjoon said as your eyes and expression softened at his words, you plastered a cold face again.

"Tell me how to-"

"Could you shut the up already? I'm tired of.... everything"

"What do you mean?"Namjoon said, you stood up with the book in your hands. You turned your heels from him. Before you walked, you spun facing him.

"One advice, Don't give people false hope when there's no hope at all"You said to him before walked to your room, leaving him wondering with your words to him. You hated it, hated when he being nice to you, it gave you false hope that you knew it not going to happened. He not going to love you.

He just stared at your back, sometimes he wondered what's your real personality, the real you. You're like an open book but yet a book that full of puzzles, that need to be solve. He wanted to figure you out but if you're being too cold, it's hard for him. You slammed the door behind you, plopped on the bed as you stared at the ceiling.

"You're a mystery"Namjoon said to himself, he wondered how you asked your mother to divorced when your mother was the only who excited about the marriage, REALLY EXCITED. He knew it was hard for you since he knew it too well that you didn't wanted to disappointed your mother but he was glad that you gathered the courage to asked your mother. At first he was thankful that you asked your mother but then guiltiness get him and rise inside of him, he did loves Su Min and wanted to marry her but he somewhat didn't wanted to hurt your mother's feelings.

You sighed to yourself, you knew that your mother disappointed when you asked the divorce. You knew it too well from the beginning that your mother will not allowed it but seeing the sparks in Namjoon's eyes make you asked your mother. You loved how the sparks sparkled his eyes just like the stars twinkling the endless sky it brightened up the empty canvas of sky.

You always see the sparks in his eyes when he with Su Min, the way the sparks twinkling. You remembered it, you wanted to see the sparks again. Even though it hurts you since the sparks never appeared when he with you excepted when you suggested him about the divorce. He deserved to be happy with the one he loved even though it's painful for you.

You smiled to yourself as the pain rise in your heart. It stung a lot, you used to it but never used to how it felt. It still can make you break down. You wish that he would have the sparks in his eyes when he with you but you knew that's not going to happened. You're not going to hoping but what's wrong with wishing, nothing wrong with it. Miracle not going to happened, miracles never there for you when you wanted it to. So you knew miracles not going to happened to you not at all.

Your hands reached the novel that you're reading. It's about arranged marriage, you found it in your book collection. You never realized it was there maybe you forget about it in the first place. It got you interested but not when the arranged marriage went happily. It's not the same as your marriage at all.

It's about a boyish woman who being arranged marriage with a normal guy. The way the guy was so gentle to the woman when the woman was so hard to him. It melt your heart yet hurt you. You loved how the guy treated the woman so gently when the woman not at all. The woman were like fire and the guy were like water, somehow the water managed to kept the fire in controlled. The water combined with the fire make the love becomes stronger when they understood each other.

You loved it but you hated it, it's just not the same from what you experienced. You just wished that people would stopped thinking the arranged marriage only led to happy ending but there's something more than that. Anything could make you fall into sad ending,angst ending. People forget about that because some of them don't experienced it and some of them led to happy ending. Only some of the people would experienced the angst ending, that led to sadness not happiness neither love.