I wasn't in a position to deny acts of kindness, seeing as everyone in the company probably hates me now. But I couldn't help questioning Taeyeong's strange request to spend the day with him. First he takes me out to eat, in public I might add, right before his debut and now this. If I didn't know any better, it actually looks like he's interested in me. And was it really coincidental that Mr. SM put us together for the duet? Someone had to think of it first, and for the first time I considered that it might've been Taeyong's doing. I didn't want to think of things that way, but it was the only logical response I could come up with. Despite my spontaneous panic attacks, uncalled for outburst before our performance, and the conversations with Anxiety (which looked like I was talking to myself), Taeyong genuinely seems attracted to me.

Perhaps it was because he pitied me. After all, it was no secret that my trainee days were substantially shorter and everyone held such high expectations for my debut. He's seen me on days where I pulled all nighters to practice my heart out, even been with me on some of those days. Maybe he accepts all of it, mentally ill or not.

But that's crazy talk. No one wants another burden on their hands: not when everyone has enough of their own. I quickly abandon the notion altogether, embarassed I even considered it.

"Where are we going?" I asked Taeyong, trying not to sound excited. We were getting off on the subway station that no one else takes, and I'm starting to think there is a reason for that.

"You'll see when we get there," Taeyong said, flashing me a mischievous smile.

As it turns out, I was right. No one got off at this station because there was nothing here. We found ourselves on the border of Seoul. Nothing but trees surrounded the opening to the subway station. Even as I peered through the trees, no signs of civilization or any modern city appeared for miles. But seeing my hesitant expression only bolstered Taeyong's confidence. He led us through the thick forest of trees, walking aimlessly to -what I assumed- nowhere.

Not that I really cared. I was too excited to care, because something amazing happened before we left. When I went to my dorm to change, Anxiety was waiting for me as usual. But a strange suspicion flashed in his eye. Although I held my excitement in front of Taeyong, Anxiety could read everyone of my emotions. Every thought that played across my deranged mind.

"Back so early, Kiara? I'm gone for two minutes and you're already slacking off," Anxiety sighed, pretending to care.

"Taeyong is taking me somewhere today. I wanted to practice, but he was so persistent," I said, not bothering to look him in the eye as I stripped off my practice clothes. But out of the corner of my vision, I could see the paper-thin skin near his eyes crinkle into a squint. Disapproval blankly covered his face, twisting it into a critical expression.

"Taking you where?" he asked suspiciously.

"No idea,"

Anxiety got up from his position and spun me around, forcing me to look him in the eye. It almost creeps me out more when he is like this. Serious, as though he'd never mock me again in that condescending voice of his. I'm consciously aware that the back of my dress isn't fully zipped, then I remember that Anxiety is only a creation of my own mind. He couldn't pull any tricks like that. Could he?

"Listen, Kiara," he said quietly, "be careful of that Taeyong kid,"

I stare at him. Dumbfounded. Since when has he ever cared about who I mingled with? Cared about me at all? Ever since I met him after my ballet competition, I was so sure his very existence depended on ruining my life.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean it. He seems all sweet and innocent, but everything is too sugar coated with him. No one like that can ever be genuine, Kiara. There's something off with him," Anxiety warned, letting me go.

"You..." I want to laugh. Laugh like the insane girl I've become. My mind has become so clouded that I can barely tell the difference between what's real and what I've created with my own imagination. Taeyong asked me before who I'd been talking to, proof of my mental instability. Now I could see how ridiculous it must've all been to him.

"How dare you warn me. Taeyong's been nothing but kind and supportive. You have absolutely no right to say otherwise when all you've done is hurt. Ever since you came back, I haven't had a moment by myself. A moment of peace," I said, struggling to keep my voice even. There was so much more I wanted to spit at his face. This was only the surface of it all; the battle to keep the rest hidden took every ounce of my concentration. Not now, I told myself. Having a mental breakdown when Taeyong was standing outside my dorm was the perfect way to ruin my day off.

"Kiara, that's exactly why you can't trust him. You know it too. I can see the doubt all over your face. Because of all the ugliness you've seen from this world, the fact that he's different throws you off," Anxiety said, sounding so much like he cared, "my intention isn't to hurt you. What I do...it's the fastest way to open your eyes. All your life you've lived within the comforts of home. If it wasn't for me, you'd continue living in your fantasy world,"

"And I can't have that, even for a minute? I get it. Not everything is pretty in this world. I won't always be on the top, and a lot of curve balls are going to be thrown at me. But that doesn't mean everything is ugly either. Taeyong is showing me that," I walked out the door, not wanting to hear his response.

*                                           *                                              *

"Do you have any idea where you're going?"

Taeyong and I have been trudging through the forest for nearly an hour. Each tree looked nearly identical to the unskilled eye. At this point, I was sure we were walking in circles. To make matters worse, our cheeks were baking under the sun. As a rookie and a rookie about to debut, tanning wasn't in our best interest. Every Kpop star strived to achieve the 'pale goddess' look, and we weren't exceptions. As though sensing my exact thoughts, Taeyong turns around and gives me an apologetic look.

"It's hot, isn't it? Sorry, I completely forgot to check the weather. The place isn't too far from here. See that?" he pointed to a clearing up ahead. "That's it!"

As a child, my parents occasionally took me on vacation. Not anywhere too far, as Mom didn't want to squander our savings. I'd got to brag about walking on the Great Wall of China, eating authentic Ramen in Japan, backpacking on Khaosan Road in Bangkok, and even swimming alongside whale sharks in the Philippines. They were experiences one could gloat about because they were tourist attractions: something everyone would want to do.

But how many people would hold that much excitement to walk into an empty field?

Not that many. There wasn't anything to do there. No animals, or even exotic creations of nature. Taeyong had taken me to an endless field with marigolds stretching far beyond the horizon. To the average tourist, he definitely would've just wasted an hour of his life.

Yet it was breathtaking. Out of all the destinations my parents have taken me, we'd never seen anything like this.

Simply, like no other.