I know I'm awake.   I know I'm awake even my eyes are closed.   Even I can't move even my pinky finger, I absolutely sure I'm  awake.     I can feel it.   I can feel the unbearable pain in my left shoulder. The throbbing in my head. The sting feeling flowing from my neck to my arm.   I have no idea what's happening but I'm feeling so much pain right now.         I'm awake. But barely breathing.         My chest feels so tight. Like there's a big rock stucked inside it and I wanted to burst right now so badly.   Every now and then, I'm dying for oxygen.   Where am I and why am I suffocating too much?   There's air. But I can't find for myself.   What's happening?     I can't explain what I feel.   I can't speak any single word.   And even if I do, I have no ideA what to say.   This is becoming too much. Is my voice gone?     The pain is stopping me from breathing.   The confusion is stoping me from thinking too much.   The numbness is stopping me from trying.   The voice...         Yes, the voice...         The familiar voice that I barely but audibly hear from my left ear. I don't know why but my right ear isn't functioning today.           That very sweet full of emotion music voice.           Calling my name.           Asking for my attention.           I wanted to open my eyes to witness who's the owner of that angelic voice.           I wanted, so badly.             But something's pulling me back.             Something's ..... trying to stop me.             And it's too strong to fight back.             Then suddenly I felt like sleeping.             Am I sleeping?               Or maybe not.                           -------------------------                     I know what do I look like now.   Those judgemental eyes and annoying eyebrows are enough to describe how messed up I am now.     Eyes so swollen that I asure anytime right now  I'll shed blood.   Skin so pale and white and this explained why that little girl cried upon seeing me.     Since 2 hours ago and right now in the hospital, I never left my usual position.   My usual, favorite position.     I never left.   I never left her side. Never. Not anymore.   Not in a situation like this.   I'd dare to risk my life just to stay by her side.     I realized I've been yelling for God knows how long.   Still shouting, crying, until my voice is trailing off.   I didn't bother.   I never matter.   I want to cry now until death and nothing's gonna stop me.   Even the doctors who's trying to pull me away from her unconscious body.                   ------------------                     I cried with so much tremor upon hearing the news about her.   Immediately and without saying a thing, I dashed out from my place and went directly to my car and wished I can drive like that in the Fast & the Furious.   I didn't know it's coming.   I mean, I never had clue.   It's like I'm busy talking friendly with my friend while he's already stabbing my back.     It hurts. It hurts so bad.   I haven't done anything to help her.   I wasn't there.     I was so into my emotions while driving until I suddenly realized the call I got from an unknown number a while ago.   The call I received from a man.   Suspiciously, he's the one who told me about the deadly news.   I suddenly became aware who was it.   Stalker? Prankster? Nobody?     Then it's lately I realized I just tasted sour from my trembling lips.   Who I've been kidding?   I know who he is.   I definitely know who he is.   How can I not know the familiar voice of my dear father.                   -----------------                       "Miss! You can't come inside. You have to stay here!" A man with his eyeglasses on sternly said to the crying lady who's trying her very best not to keep even an inch distance with the patient.   She ignored his words as she was busy escaping from those wide strong arms blocking her way.   "Miss! I said stop it!"   "Miss!"   "MISS!"   "SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND, FOR GOD SAKE! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!? ESPECIALLY NOW!? HER LIFE IS IN DANGER AND I HAVE TO BE BY HER SIDE!!!!! NOW PLEASE GET YOUR OFF OF MY WAY!! SHE NEEDS ME!!!   She desperately yelled. Completely forgetting her manners towards this older man that she believes the Doctor.   She's feeling so much pure pain and hatred right now.   She has to do what she thinks she needs to.   "We're going to help her! Now please calm and wait here!"   "Can't you just please let me be by her side!?? She needs me! Don't you understand? She needs me!"   "Inside is off limits. I'm sorry. Now please, calm down."   "What the ----"                     "Tiffany."                           She turned around, only greeted by a familiar lady who's eyes are clearly similar to hers. Swollen.   Tiffany didn't even budge. She was statued by a sudden shock.   Shock? Why is she shock anyway?   She didn't realized those strong annoying arms had already left her and replaced by a slender smooth caring one.   Feeling the sudden warmth, she jolted up and stare at this girl who's already hugging her very tight.     "Everything's gonna be alright." Tiffany heard the girl whispered through her neck.   "Everything's gonna be alright. It's what Taeyeon always say when something goes wrong." The girl added.   "Right Tiff?" The girl pulled away and stare with full of worries.   Tiffany nodded. Feeling that her eyes are getting watery again, she hugged the girl back.   "We'll stay strong, Jess. For her, for me, and for you."   "I can't never forgive myself if I lose her without doing anything to protect my own sister." Jessica sobbed even heavier.   Tiffany sighed.   She took a heavy breath before saying the next words that she never wanted to believe.   "Me too Jess. I can't never forgive myself knowing clearly it's my fault."   Tiffany felt her bestfriend gripped on her arm tightly.   "It's not your fault, Tiffany."   "Yes it is."   Jessica didn't said a thing after that.   She just remained still. She doesn't want to argue on a stubborn Tiffany because that will only cause war between them.   But her bestfriend's next words made her realized the half percent of why she's here.           "He's at the 6th floor. If ever you wanted to see him."                   ------------------             Jessica's POV     I cursed myself for taking the lift because it took me only 5 minutes to reach the 6th floor.   I wish more ti