I couldn’t concentrate in class the whole day and I was basically thinking about his reply to my letter. He would also have eaten the cupcakes since he took them and I couldn’t help but squeal internally as well.

“Jung Yoojin!” A loud bellow came from across the classroom, which caused my smile to be erased. “Wipe that silly smile off your face and repeat what I just said!” Mr Choi shouted at me.

I quickly took a glance at Bomi, hoping that she would be able to help me but Mr Choi just shouted at me again. “If you cant pay attention during class when finals are just around the corner then you’ll just have to get detention!” I slumped back in my seat with a pout and Bomi gave me an apologetic face. Sigh, I wasn’t a straight A student or anything but I did study and tried not to fail any of my classes. I told you, I was just a normal kid. In fact, I was probably just upset that I wouldn’t be able to see Kim Jongin sunbaenim after class that day.

Finals weren’t even a big matter to me even though I’m going to be a senior next year, I guess at that time I was just living each day for the next, I didn’t have any plans for my future or anything and I do regret slightly for not focusing more on my studies. We’ll get to that part in the future but now, back to my crush.

I had texted the guys earlier saying that I wouldn’t be able to go home with them because I had detention but I got a shock at who was in the detention room as well. It was Lee Howon.

“Yah! What are you doing here?” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear because the detention teacher-in-charge was nodding off in his sleep.

Howon gave me a stare which probably meant, “don’t think I did it to accompany you” before he whispered back, “thanks to your message, my phone rang in class.”

All I did was just laugh. I stared back at my best friend only to see him laughing as well. He really didn’t care about anything in this world. If only I could be as carefree as he is. Life would be great. Except that I didn’t want to have the burden of being the only son to the richest tycoon in Korea. That would be bad. Even though Howon never really mentioned it, his father probably had some expectations of him to be the heir to the company.

I heard from Howon that Woohyun and Sunggyu had gone to the library to study while they wait for us to be done with detention. Bomi probably went home because I told her not to wait for me. We lived in a different neighbourhood anyway so it would be a hassle for her to stay back when she could have gone home earlier.

“Yah, lend me your math textbook.” Howon asked.

“Wae? You have your own.”

“But yours is probably still new.”

If we didn’t have to be quiet during detention, I would have already went and fight Howon in the classroom.

I handed him my math textbook, which looks relatively new, but I have used it before I swear. He took it and placed it nicely on his desk before putting his cheek down and slept. I threw him a dirty look but he probably didn’t see it with his eyes closed. Instead of wasting my time scowling at Howon, I took out my sketchbook and drew some sketches. Why would I waste my precious time when I could be drawing submissions for my art club? Next year, I was determined to be one of the seniors who are able to showcase my art piece at the annual carnival in our school. That was my goal.

Detention was probably the most boring thing on earth but luckily for us, our teacher seemed to think the same thing as well. He would always fall asleep while watching over us so we would slip out of detention earlier than the supposed release time. Howon and I managed to slip out early because Howon woke up from his short nap and wanted to leave. I swore he drooled on my textbook even though he insisted that he didn’t. That disgusting prick, I wonder where did all his etiquette lessons go.

So we left the detention room and were heading towards the library to find the others so that we could head home. The design of our school was that we had to walk pass the locker area to get to the library and as we were walking, I saw a familiar looking box. It was sitting on the top of the rubbish bin at the end of the corridor and I hurriedly went to take a closer look. It was the box of cupcakes that I’ve given to Kim Jongin sunbaenim.

The bin was in a secluded area of the corridor and one could easily miss it. However, the box was of a unique colour and it was eye-catching, as least for me because I hand picked the box on my own. I stared at the box, the letter inside was gone but the cupcakes were left untouched. At that moment, I felt tightness in my chest and my eyes were welling up with tears. I fought back the urge to cry because Jung Yoojin is a strong girl, she doesn’t cry easily.

“Yoojin-ah…” Howon stood next to me and he held onto my elbow. I was blinking rapidly, trying not to let the tears fall but it all came apart when Howon called my name. I started to cry. I spent so long picking out the box and baking those cupcakes, how could he not even taste them and throw them away? He even read my letter and he threw the cupcakes away? Needless to say, he probably didn’t like me back the way I liked him but he could have given the cupcakes away instead of throwing them. It was just too much.

Wiping my tears away, I released myself from his grip and ran to an empty classroom. The school was pretty much empty at that time because club activities were halted for the upcoming finals and everybody was busy studying. I sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall and I cried. Hiking up my knees, I buried my face in them and I cried like no tomorrow. I felt betrayed. Those small moments we had meant nothing to him at all? How could he just dump something I’ve spent so much time preparing? Guess I didn’t know the real Kim Jongin, what a cruel man he is. How could I have liked someone this cruel and heartless?

After some time, I realized how stupid I was for liking such a person and I laughed at myself. No I have not gone crazy, I was just really upset that I might have seemed a little crazy. Anyways, I looked up after a few minutes only to see Howon sitting next to me. Since I was too busy crying, I didn’t notice his presence next to me. He had the box of cupcakes in his hands and he just stared at me. I never really cried in front of Howon before, except when we were kids so I guess that’s why he was staring at me for so long.

Howon didn’t say anything, he sat next to me and then he suddenly opened the box and took a cupcake out. He was eating my cupcakes. Lee Howon has never tried my baking before because he didn’t like sweet stuff. Except for maybe chocolate chip cookies but then he didn’t like the chocolate chips anyway. However, here we are, sitting at the back of an empty classroom, Howon was eating my cupcakes.

“They’re actually pretty good.” He said with his mouth full of cupcake and cream as he held up the cupcake, scanning it with his eyes. I looked at him with those puffy eyes as I tried to hold back my tears. Needless to say, I was touched. First of all, the almighty picky rich kid Lee Howon never eats sweet stuff. Yet he was complimenting my baking skills and stuffing his face with the cream. He then took another and stuffed it in his mouth while saying a string of inaudible words.

I was touched to the point that I cried yet again. Laughing as the tears fall, I then hit him on the shoulder. “I thought you don’t like sweet stuff!”

He quickly finished off the second cupcake and reached for another.

“Yah, I thought you don’t like sweet stuff! Why are you stuffing your face away!” I reached out to stop him.

“But it’s nice.” He gave a short reply and continued munching away.

“Liar.”
 

“My friend baked it, I have to finish it.”

The tears escaped my eyes once again even though I let out a chuckle. I was smiling but crying at the same time. Staring at his side view as he ate the cupcakes, I realized then that I was lucky to have a friend like him. Suddenly in my eyes, Lee Howon looked so handsome and cool. He is really the bestest friend I could ever ask for. Because even though he hated sweet stuff, he still ate my cupcakes and complimented me for it, so as not to hurt my feelings.

Overwhelmed by his touching action, I gave him a hug, which probably shocked him as much as it shocked me. “I take back all my words about wanting to karate chop your head off.” I mumbled, “you’re the best friend ever.”

Howon awkwardly returned the hug but pulled away after. “I’m trying to finish your cupcakes.” He pointed out as he reached out for another. There were eight in total and Howon had cleared everything. He even finished all the cream on top of each cupcake without any hesitation.

Words cannot express how grateful I am at that time for my best friend. My oldest friend amongst my best friends. I am really really grateful. Even till today, I am still grateful for him. Thank you, Lee Howon.

The sun was already setting when I finally got a hold of myself. Just as we were about to leave the school, we heard a familiar voice calling out to us.

“Yoojin! Howon!”

It was Woohyun that called out to us and he was running in our direction with Sunggyu behind him. I looked behind his shoulders and was even more shocked to see Bomi still there. “I thought I told you not to wait for me?” I asked Bomi, feeling bad that she had to stay till this late in school.

She pushed up her glasses and smiled. “I saw Sunggyu and Woohyun and so I went to study with them in the library.”

“Yah yah yah, the both of you, we were waiting for so long and you guys decided to leave without us?” Woohyun lightly tapped our foreheads and I gave him my deadly glare.

“Jin wasn’t feeling well just now so we went to the nurse’s office and she slept there till now. We thought you guys would have left already.” Howon lied smoothly. Wow that boy had some skills in which I needed to learn from.

“Omo, what’s this Jin? Why aren’t you feeling well? Are you better already? Why are your eyes so red? Are you okay?” Woohyun came up to me and pressed his palm against my forehead, checking if I have a fever.

“I’m fine. Now let’s head home shall we?” I forced out a smile. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t still shaken up by the cruel rejection from Kim Jongin sunbaenim but with my friends around me again, I feel much much better. And also thanks to Howon’s very unique way of comforting people.

That evening, I wasn’t feeling too hungry so I told my parents that I didn’t want to have dinner and went straight to my room. Once I was alone, I could feel my cheeks wet because I was crying again. In my mind, I kept repeating the scene where Kim Jongin sunbaenim took my box of cupcakes but I still cannot imagine how heartless he must have been to just leave it at the top of the rubbish bin. He must be laughing at how pathetic I am right now as he read the letter. Oh, what a joke.

Just then, my phone vibrated, signaling that I had a message. It was from Woohyun.

Are you feeling better?

I smiled at the screen. Woohyun may be childish and a drama queen at times but he’s still a best friend of mine. Looks like I’m still his best friend as well. Typing away, I told him that I’m fine and I just needed some rest. He then replied saying that I should take care of my health because finals were just around the corner and I wouldn’t want to fall sick at this point in time.

Smiling to my phone, I didn’t even notice that someone had entered my room. He put his face right in front of mine, causing me to jump up on shock and I dropped my phone on his foot.

“Ouch! Yah!” He shouted at me as he set down the tray of food he was holding to check his hurt toe. Lee Howon was once again, in my bedroom, delivering food to me.

“Your mom said you skipped dinner so she wanted me to bring this to you.” He pointed at the tray. There was rice and side dishes that my mom had left for me. I retracted at the warm touch when I realized that Howon’s hands were at my cheeks, wiping my dried tears away. “You can cry as much as you want, I’m here.”

Howon’s words had unleashed the water works in my eyes and I began crying all over again. I was basically sobbing all over my room as he tried to calm a heartbroken girl down. Trust me, it’s not an easy feat.

I was still crying all over when suddenly my door came flying open. The two of us looked up only to see a startled Woohyun. He was panting as though he just ran over. Despite it being cold outside as winter approaches, he only wore a long sleeved shirt and his winter coat. Woohyun immediately came crashing down on me as he gave me a hug. “Why are you crying? Gosh, do you know how worried I was when you stopped texting me? I thought you fainted or something oh gosh.”

I was buried in Woohyun’s thick coat that I couldn’t see anything but I could hear Howon’s chuckle in the background. “Yah, why are you crying? The Jung Yoojin I know doesn’t cry.” He my hair as I tried to regain my composure. The water works were still flowing but lesser than before.

Just then, a third person came crashing in my room as well. This time, it was none other than Kim Sunggyu. “Woohyun called me saying that you might have fainted.”

And I laughed. I was definitely not over my heartbreak and rejection but I laughed. I realized that no matter what happens, my friends would always be there for me. That night, the four of us slept on my room floor as Howon told them the real reason behind my tears. It hurts me to bring him up again so I’ll just let Howon do the honors. I swear Woohyun and Sunggyu were so shocked that a fly might just fly in their mouths since they kept it open for so long.

“I thought Jongin hyung was a nice guy! Doojoon hyung and Junhyung hyung hangs out with him all the time!” Woohyun said, exasperated.

“I thought so too… Jongin hyung isn’t that kind to do something like that right?” Sunggyu added in.

I shook my head as I looked up at the ceiling, “you’ll never know. I thought he was kind too.”

“He’s not even that good looking.” Howon said and I kicked his shin under the covers.

“Can you just stop using violence for once!” He winced in pain. Serves him right. I may not want to karate chop his head off now but maybe his leg will suit me just fine.

It has been a long time since the four of us hung out like this. I know, it’s a bit exclusive without Bomi but I do miss the times where it was just the four of us and the rest of the world. It feels like I’m back in middle school where things were much simpler and I didn’t have to deal with this thing called heartbreak and rejection. However, heartbreak and rejection is part of growing up. I’m sure everybody has experienced it or will experience it. Those who didn’t, consider yourself really lucky. Those who did, it’s not the end of the world and even though there may be more heartbreaks and rejection in the future, we keep our heads up high. Your friends are there for you, your family will definitely be behind you, so what are you afraid of? Get over it and go out there for a new adventure.

At age seventeen, junior year in high school, was the first time in my life that I experienced heartbreak. It won’t be my last but it’s the first that made it memorable. Kim Jongin will always be my first ever crush. It’s not enough to consider as a first love but he was definitely my first crush. You think that it’s impossible? But yes, he is really my first crush. Those crushes that I had previously back in elementary and middle school were not proper crushes. They were more like infatuations and I got over it after a few weeks. This time round, I liked him for over a year. Despite not knowing him too well, I was probably star struck by his good looks and athleticism. Hence at seventeen years old, I, Jung Yoojin, experienced my first ever rejection from a crush. 

Here's a chapter dedicated to those who ever got their hearts broken. I know it's really not easy to get back up on your feet after a heartbreak but when you have friends around you who care for you, I'm sure you'll be a whole once again. I really love this chapter as to how Yoojin's friends had help her cope with the heartbreak. To me, this chapter means a lot and I hope for those who read this chapter will enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. :") Emotional post at this late night but I still love you all. ^^