No one knows of my tribulations in middle school besides my parents and Dara. I had planned to keep it that way because I wanted to keep this stuff in the past, but I think it is time I break my silence. I know it isn't healthy to bottle things up like I do, and I know that I tell people to let it out when I don't, so I need to stop being such a hypocrite and finally use my own words of advice.

"As you might know, before I lived in Seoul I lived in US," I state. I was live in a small town a little more than an hour away from downtown and I had lived there my whole life up until my final year at middle school. Then, I moved to Seoul just in time for high school. "I always told people that I moved because my parents needed to for work, but that isn't true.

"I know I seem like this overly-chirpy pushover all the time, but once upon a time I wasn't like that at all. I had a bit of attitude and whatever I thought, I would say. Sometimes I kinda miss the old me. Like, I always seem to let people walk all over me now, but back then, the way I treated others and the way I treated myself made me feel confident and happy.

"I had a small, tight group of five friends, and my closest one was Jenny. We went everywhere together and we did everything together," my breath hitches and I clench my hands into fists, shifting in my seat nervously, "Sometimes she had mood swings, which I shrugged off. She never invited me to her home, which I, again, shrugged off. Sometimes she wore jumpers on a hot day..." I trail off and breathe for a moment to calm down. My voice was thick with emotion and I could feel my heart speeding up. "I shrugged off everything strange that she said or did! I'm a freaking idiot. A stupid, stupid idiot," I swallow the lump in my throat.

I could feel Jiyong's eyes on me but I didn't want to look at him. Shame and guilt kept my gaze fixated on the dashboard of the car. "It's been three years and I still haven't gotten over it. I thought I might move on from it when I moved houses. That's what my parents thought, too, but turns out that's not the case," I exhale a bitter laugh, "Turns out you can't just forget the things that you've done when you move towns."

I watch as the car steers onto the side of the road and Jiyong stop the engine, leaving us in complete silence.

"I'm gonna make us really late," I state after a long moment.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. I don't want to make you sad. You were in such a good mood."

"Again, it doesn't matter. I want to hear this."

"But-"

"Stop it, Bom," he interrupts. He sounds agitated, "Not everyone has to be happy all the damn time. You can't always be happy and, if you are, then you'll be sad-"

"Uh-"

"You know what I mean."

"That has nothing to do with your happiness, though," I point out.

"It has something to do with yours, so, yes, it does."

I open my mouth to refute to his argument, but I had nothing to say. He was right. "Okay," I finally nod, "Back to story-time, right?" I joke sarcastically but Jiyong doesn't laugh so I just continue, "I know that when we first met I was annoying. I know I pushed too much into your business, but you reminded me of her on her down days and I didn't want you to feel sad. I wanted you to be happy. I pry into peoples' business a lot, and I know that. Dara, you, other people that I try to help. Most of them don't mind, but you..."

"I was a jerk," he fills in, sighing to himself, "I'm sorry Bom."

"Why? You already apologized for your behavior."

"I know, but I'm sorry for how I thought of you. I thought you had no substance. I didn't even consider that you have your own story and you