MYUNGSOO

The rose beneath my fingers pricks me lightly, making me scowl. I weave flower after flower, stem after stem, creating a strange sort of pattern. The grass near my legs tickles me, but I ignore it for all it is worth. After days of looking, I finally found it; the first flowers of Spring. As I slide my finger against a sharp and half-born bud on the side of the stem, a drop of blood makes it's way slowly down my index finger. I grunt, but continue anyway.

I haven't seen the sun in a while.

I thread the final daisy through, and hold the crown at arm's lengh to observe my work. Obviously I'm pleased. Is it worth it? Well, crouching in the mud in a park isn't exactly my cup of tea, but, here I am. Seeing her smile, that would be worth it. 

As the school bell chimes, I pick up my bag, and, holding the crown of flowers delicately between my thumb and index finger, I run towards the school.

Running, running, running, wind pouring like a curtain. It's still cold, but the flowers are sprouting and the sun is returning. It's an early Spring. When the school comes into view, the gates are about to close. I push my legs further, willing myself to make it....I fly past the gates just as they close inches from my body.

With a sigh of relief, I start looking for her. I've got a free period, and so does Nana. Her name sounds sweet even in my mind. Only a few students remain around the school grounds. A couple of guys from our class, a few girls running towards their classroom. 

I'm still panting for breath, when someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around, and, what-do-you-know, there she is. I've always thought Nana looked a bit like a panda mixed with a cat. She has those big eyes that make her look very surprised, those thin pink lips and always blushing cheeks. "Hi," she says, in a soft voice. Something about her is so pixie-like. Not to mention, she's tiny. Barely reaching up to my chest, she has to look up to see my face.

Not knowing what to say, I place the crown in my hands onto her petite little head. With her hair down in wavy curls, she looks like a forest princess. She rolls her eyes up, trying to see what's on her head. "What's this?" she asks, pointing up.

"Don't you remember? Today you're my daisy princess." Her face is blank for a minute, but then a flood of memories take over, replacing her quizzical frown with a smile. "I've always wanted...to wear a crown made of flowers, and pretend to be a daisy princess."

"Did you make this?" she says, her delicate fingers creeping up to touch the flowers. I nod, suddenly feeling extremely awkward. She twists a strand of her wispy brown hair around her finger, and blinks up at me. What feels like a serious moment is ruined, when Nana sneezes, her crown falling half off her head. I fix her hair, and bend down to look at her face. "Are you okay?"

She nods, her nose turning slightly redder. "I'm fine. I have hay-fever. But it's not the daisy crown," she assures me, holding onto it as if I'm going to steal it off her.

"So, princess," I say. "Where shall we go today?"

Nana puts her finger on her lip, thinking. "Hmm...I want to go to....the Han River." She says, a spark in her eye. I instantly recall my wish, and almost blush thinking off it. "Okay. We'll go after school," I promise her. She holds her little pinky up, and I connect them, sealing it with our thumbs.


Once the final bell of the day rings, I look around the crowd of students for a little girl wearing a crown of flowers. I can see a few daisies sticking up, and push through people to get to her. "C'mon. I brought the van to school today."

We walk together until the sea of students fade, and it's peaceful once again. She isn't talking, and neither am I, but the silence is strangely comfortable. She skips ahead of me, as soon as the spots the Pikachu van. God, I only bought that because I thought she'd like it more than the Ferarri. As Nana walks, I reailse all the little things about her that I find intriguing. I like the way that her skirt goes past her knees. The way she tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear when she's nervous, and her lips. When she looks down at her shoes and smiles, shyly, as if she doesn't know how beautiful she really is. Why did it take me so long to realise?

I catch up to her, unlock the car and she hops in. As soon as we're both seated, I lean towards her to buckle her seatbelt, and Nana remains quietly squirmish. She is very squirmish. 

"Why do you do that?" she says suddenly, as I lean back.

"Do what?" I mumble, starting the engine. I'm comforted by a fufilling 'brrmmm', as the old car starts up. We drive out of the school gates, passing students walking, buses and car. Today we'll go out of this little town.

"You always buckle my seatbelt for me," she says, after a minute.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No, no, it's just...why?" Nana's small face pinches into confusion, and I get a feeling that I make her nervous. I like making her nervous. I put my finger on my lips, silently mimicking her without her knowing. "Mmm..." I say. "I like knowing you're safe," I tell her honestly. "I think that if you did your own seatbelt, you wouldn't put it in properly and you'd fall out or something."

She laughs. "You aren't worried if you get in a car accident, but if I'll fall out of my seat?"

I shrug. "Who knows? It seems possible for you."

The conversation ends, but I can tell she's thinking of things to say. I look out through the windows, at the marvellous scenery that greets me. The further we go, the less familiar it becomes. I drive with instinct, never once looking back at our old town. "Don't you kind of want to escape?" I say, so softly I doubt she can hear me.

Nana looks down through her eyelashes. "Maybe." She looks out of the window, thinking.

After an hour or so, we arrive at the Han River. I haven't been here since I was a young child, but even then, I was quiet. I had nothing to yell about, nothing to cry or think. The sky is turning a deep orange, and soon it'll be dark. We head over to a stall to buy some chips and hotdogs, and walk back down the porch.

Nana munches on her chips like a child, chewing them softly. "Are you sad?" she asks me, not looking at my face.

"Why do you think so?" I say, avoiding the question.

"You want to yell out your feelings at the Han River," she stops to face me. "You want to scream and yell and let all your anger out, don't you?"

I smile, but it's a sad smile. It's barely there. "Maybe," I say. 

We finally stop by a nice, secluded spot, where the sun is setting clear over our heads. The birds cry and fly over the sun, flying forever above us. She places her pile of food on the little bench, and cups with her hands. "Mum, I miss you!" she cries. I look over at her quietly. We've never spoken about our parents, except about her father. Where is her mum? Does she know where mine is? "Mum, come back, please."

I cup my hands around my own mouth, and scream, at the top of my lungs, "Kim Jungwoo, I don't hate you!" I repeat it a few times, letting the words soak into my brain. "Mum, Dad, if you split up I'll yell at you!"

This time, it's Nana's turn to stare at me. I don't falter, I don't shiver. I'm not weak in her eyes. Nana slowly grabs hold of my hand, grasping it tightly. "Kim Myungsoo, thank you!" she screams for the last time. 


I let the sand slide through my fingers. It's soft. From the corner of my eye, I can see Nana building a little sand castle. Over our heads, the sky is a dark navy. I want to take her home. I want to make sure she's tucked in safely. So what are we doing here, on a secluded beach?

The waves splash like some meditation soundtrack, something I never thought I'd experience. Nana climbs beside me, sitting down. She points at her creation. "It's Nana Castle," she explains. "Hello, Lupin, and all the kittens live there."

"Where do I live?" I say, giving a fake pout.

She thinks for a bit. "You live in another castle. Myungsoo Castle."

I chuckle, but all I can think about is how shiny her hair is in the moonlight. I twirl a strand of her curls around my finger, just like she did earlier. It springs back into place. "Your hair is pretty," I mumble.

Nana blinks, as if remembering something horrible, but then smiles. "I don't think it's that great," she says, shrugging.

"I'd kiss you," I tell her, staring straight at her. "If you made up your mind."

She looks down, probably embarrassed, probably confused. A bright flicker passes in the sky. It flies across, like an airplane, only brighter. "A shooting star," she murmurs. 

"I wish you would fall in love with me again," I tell her quietly, hugging my knees to my chest.

first myungsoo chapter! ^^