21: Let's meet
A Beautiful Mistake‘Let’s meet.’
He looked at his phone. This message was what he been waiting for. But at the same time, he scared it might turn up become something that he don’t wish to.
After finished her CF filming, she decided to meet him. It was for the best anyway. She know that running away won’t do any good for both of them. Thanks to Gary, she picked up her courage and send that message. She have decided what she going to say.
“Let’s go Song Jihyo.” she looked at the mirror and say to herself. As she was planning to grab a taxi to the meeting point. Jaesuk was waiting for her at outside. She wasn’t expecting for this. But still, she smile at him. Like a gentleman, he opened the door for her and put on her belt.
On the road..
‘What makes him so special? His eyes? His nose? Or his lips?’ she look at his facial structure. Drawing his side profile in her mind with detail. ‘He may not look young, but he is charming. How can a guy be this charming? Am I the only one who think like this?’
‘Her scent are so special. It is warm and relaxing. How come I can’t find the same scent like her? Why I always know it was her when I smell this scent? This woman, what makes me fall? Is it the way she looks at me passionately when I drive? Or the way she makes me want to protect her?’
As they were battle with questions inside their mind, Jaesuk saw the lake. He take a turn and the car stop. She was too into on his facial structure that she don’t realize they have reached.
“We are here.” he said, looking at her. She was still looking at him. They eyes meet and the time was like stopping at the time frame. No one want to turn away first. They just look into each other eyes deeply. As if it will be the last time they meet.
‘Look away Jihyo. Look away.’ her inner voice
‘Can’t we stay like this forever?’ his inner voice
‘I have to look away. I will fall more if I keep this. But, I do want to keep this moment.’ -her inner voice
‘Don’t look away. Let’s just stay like this.’ - his inner voice.
But she still look away. ‘We have to solve this. This have to stop. Stop falling for him. You can’t own him.’ She then left the car and he follow her. She is walking alone and he is following her at behind. Their steps match each other's. The view of lake are so peaceful and calm. No one was there. It’s only he and she. It’s their own world in a small place.She stop on her spot. He stops too. She turn behind, look into his eyes and say.
“Let’s talk. That’s the main reason we meet.” -Jihyo
“Okay. Tell me. What’s on your mind now.” - Jaesuk
“I believed it as a mistake. You were drunk and I was teary. I looked weak so you pitied me. You was not sober so I don’t blame you.” she said confidently although deep in her heart, it’s hurt to believe that. But this is what she decided to tell him the moment she wants to meet him. To tell him it was a mistake and they should forget it. For days, thedistance makes she realize something. She rather close with him and love him in dark than being far with him and loves him. Both of it was painful. But being far from him only make it worse. ‘This is the best Jihyo. You did well.’ -her inner voice
Without hesitation, he went near her and embrace her. Jihyo was shocked. She don’t know how to react. This was the second unexpected things he did.
“I was sober. Just like now. I do drink a lot that night. But I was sober. I know what I do. That night I kissed you, now I hugged you. And the next thing..” he pull his head away, put her hair behind her ear and kiss her. He then break the kiss and step away from her.
“I kissed you again.” he look at her. Waiting for her to react. She was standing at there blankly.
‘What happened? Did he just.. kissed me again? Why? How should I interpret this?’ - her inner voice
“Why did.. you do that?” she ask him. She don’t want to keep those questions in her head anymore. She decide to ask all she wants. Let no more question left in her mind. Tonight, this must be solved.
“I’m trying to tell you that I was sober that night.” he answered her calmly.
“Is that necessary to do like this?”
“Nope.”
“Then? Why? Yoo Jaesuk-ssi, can you please don’t confuse me? I’m too stupid to interpret everything now. A moment I though you don’t realize, a moment I have to accept the fact that you kiss me but a moment later you said you love me as a sister. What are you trying to say?”
“The feeling you felt toward me, I felt it too. If I were an endless hole, then you’re an endless stair. No matter how I tried to reach the top, I can’t. But still, I keep climbing beacuse I just can’t turn back. I choose not to. I love you. Not as a sister, but as a woman. I want you. I crave for you scent and touch. I love it when you’re close with me. When you show your weak side to me. The feeling when you passionately only look at me while I’m driving. I love every of you and I can’t get enough from you. I keep craving for more and more from you. I don’t care it’s good or bad. If it’s you, I want it all.”
She stayed silent. Thinking what should she feel right now. Should she be happy? But that’s wrong. Then should she be sad? But she can’t find the reason.
‘Did he just confessed to me? He loves me? But how?’ - her inner voice
‘This is wrong Jihyo. You came to stop this. He is a married man. Remember. He have a family. At the very least, he loves you too. Don’t worry. Even when this end, you’re not suffering alone. Both of you going to suffer together.’ -her inner voice
“Then what should we do? This is wrong. It’s absurd! How about your wife? It’s unfair for her!”
“I know. That’s why I’m stuck! I have a family and yet I’m falling for you. What are you? Why I can’t get rid you in my mind. I keep telling myself stop falling and yet I can't.”
She look down. She don’t know what to reply him. She though she was the one who loves him. But who knows he felt the same.
‘Song Jihyo. Both of you just impossible. Don’t be selfish. To own him you will have to ruin him. Just go away. Clarify this. Stop this.’ -her inner voice
She stayed silent for a moment. Look into his eyes. He is sincere about her and that’s makes her feel hapy. For her, his feeling is enough. As she loves him enough to ensure he won’t be ruin by her. She close her eyes. A tear drop from her face. She have to end this. She then gather her courage and speak.
“Oppa, as much as I want to be with you, as happy as I hear that you also loves me. We are just impossible. Let’s face that fact and live our life.”
“Jihyo yah..”
She shook her head. “Don’t do this. This is wrong. Our love brings no benefit only harm. We can’t be together. I already glad that you loves me. It’s more than enough for me. So now, just focus on living our life normally. Treat me as your sister and I’ll do the same.” she smile weakly.
He stayed silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He have to admit that he loves her until he really want to own her. But at the same time, he can’t ignore the fact that what she said was true. He was battling the feeling inside. If he could, he would bring she and run away. But he can’t be selfish. So in the end. He agreed.
Both of them decides to live their life and love each other as siblings. There’s no more avoiding or running away. They will face each other like usual and act like usual. Bury their true feeling between each other in their heart. As this is a forbidden love from the start.
Comments