Sungmin’s POV

I stepped outside and took in a deep breath, taking in the fresh autumn air as I looked around the neighborhood. The leaves on all of the trees turned red, yellow, and orange. A few of them were scattered all over the ground and a few were flying through the cool breeze. The sky was bleeding with red, yellow, and orange colors, resembling the same colors as the leaves and the sun began to rise. The sound of kids could be heard as they walked down the street, heading towards their school. Summer ended a month ago. It was now September, and autumn has begun.  

 

 

I smiled to myself as I walked down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. Feeling a bit lazy to cook my own breakfast, I decided to go to a small restaurant to eat. The coat I had on hugged me tighter as I began to walk down the street, hands in my pockets and a smile still stuck on my face.

 

 

Autumn is my second favorite season of the year. It’s not too hot; not too cold. The neighborhood looks prettier with all of the color changes of the leaves; it’s quieter with all of the kids gone, much more peaceful. It was the perfect time to be around friends and just spend time together.

 

 

Unfortunately for me, that wasn’t going to happen today.

 

 

Ryeowook and Yesung have been going on dates non-stop for the past two months. He told it me it was because Yesung only had a short time left before he had to leave to pursue his singing career. He apologized multiple times after saying that he only wanted to spend the last two months with Yesung only. I understood where he was coming from, and I had no problem with it. I was proud of Yesung as well. He was going to be a singer and according to him, his father will do nothing to try and stop him. I’m happy for him, but I can’t help but feel bad for Ryeowook since he won’t be able to see him for a long while. If only there was some way those two could be together without being separated from each other.

 

 

I called up Eunhyuk last night asking him if he wanted to get some cake at the cake shop, but he kindly refused, saying that he’s too busy looking for Donghae nowadays. Apparently he hasn’t seen him ever since we got back from Jeju Island. I was going to ask why he was so worried about him until he told me that he was in fact in love with Donghae. I was shocked, surprised, and excited at the same time. I knew he’d pick Donghae. I just can’t believe it took him this long to realize that he wanted that fish all along. But after what happened back at Jeju Island with them and Siwon... they’ve been acting so different towards each other. I hope it hadn’t affected those two’s relationship. I find it odd that Donghae has been ignoring him, considering how much in love he is with that idiot.

 

 

And why don’t I spend the day with Kyuhyun, you ask? Well, it’s not like I’m desperate. But anyway, to be honest, I haven’t seen him around lately. He comes to my house once in a while to drink wine, and then he just disappears. He says that he stuff to take care of with his father. I asked him if there was anything I could do to help, but he told me not to worry about it, which, of course, makes me worry even more. 

 

 

My two friends have been so busy with the ones they love. And I’m happy for them. They deserve to be in love. But I still can’t help but feel a little extremely jealous. I’ve never been in love before. There were times back in school when I had small crushes on a few girls, but I’ve never wanted them so badly to become mine. The crushes went as fast as they came. To be in love, though…I wonder how it feels to want someone so badly that you couldn’t stand it. I wonder how it feels to think about them every second of the day, missing them so much that you feel like a part of you is gone. I wonder how it feels to have someone make you so happy with everything that they do.

 

 

I wonder what it’s like to be in love.

 

 

Pushing my thoughts to the back of my head, I saw that my feet had dragged me to the front of Hangeng and Heechul’s restaurant. Deciding that I was too tired to walk anywhere else, I stepped inside, only to see that no one was there. They must still be closed at this time.

 

 

“Sungmin? Is that you?” I heard a foreign voice call out my name and smiled when I saw Hangeng come out from the kitchen.

 

 

“Hello, hyung,” I greeted politely and chuckled as he came closer to me.

 

 

“No need to be so polite. We’re good friends, right?” he noted as he patted my back and I grinned. It made me little happy to know that he considers me as a good friend.

 

 

“SUNGMIN!” I heard Heechul screech happily as he snuck up behind me and picked me up before spinning me around. I thought I was going to become deaf after hearing his voice ring through my ears, but chuckled nonetheless.

 

 

“It’s good to see you too, Heechul hyung,” I greeted towards him.

 

 

“So what brings you here this early in the morning, Sungmin?” Hangeng asked as he pulled Heechul off of me.

 

 

“I thought I’d go out to eat breakfast today, but I guess you guys aren’t open yet, so maybe I should head out and go somewhere else-”

 

 

“Nonsense! We count you as an exception! I haven’t had breakfast either yet, so why don’t you come sit down and eat with me?” Heechul suggested as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

 

 

I was hesitant at first but eventually agreed to his offer. He sent Hangeng back into the kitchen to retrieve the breakfast that he was already making for Heechul and himself (I swore I heared him mumbling whines a little here and there) as the both of us took a seat across from each other at a booth.

 

 

“So, how’ve you been lately? I haven’t seen you in forever!”

 

 

“I’m okay, I guess.”

 

 

“And the others?”

 

 

“They’re okay as well.” Heechul made a weird face at me. He leaned over the table and rested his chin on his hands as he stared at my face, as if he was studying it. I leaned back a bit and also made a weird face at him. Why was he staring at me like that?

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.

 

 

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

 

 

“Because you don’t seem okay. Your eyes tell me something different. They tell me that your mind has been wandering off places for a little and you’ve been thinking a lot. They tell me that upset about something.”

 

 

“W-what? How did you know all of that by looking at me eyes?” I questioned, scared by the fact that he practically just read me like an open book. Am I that easy to figure out? Heechul leaned back into his seat and just smirked.

 

 

“Let’s just say that I have that kind of talent because I’m just so amazing at everything,” he replied, and I almost had the urge to roll my eyes at him because he sounded just like Kyuhyun.

 

 

“Well to answer your question, I guess I haven’t been exactly myself lately.”

 

 

“Tell me what’s going on, then.” I hesitated at first before deciding that telling Heechul what I’ve been feeling lately won’t be such a bad thing.

 

 

“I’m not exactly upset about anything. I’ve just been feeling kind of jealous of my friends. Ryeowook has Yesung as a boyfriend and it makes me happy to see them together. It took Eunhyuk a while, but he’s finally realized that he’s in love with Donghae, and he loves him too. My friends are so happy in love with each other, and then there’s me. I’m the only one who isn’t in love. In fact, I’ve never felt real love before. It makes me jealous that my friends are able to have that one special person that they want to be with forever,” I explained shyly as I hung my head a little low while playing with my fingers. Heechul nodded his head slowly as if he was taking my explanation into deep thought.

 

 

“You’re definitely in love,” Heechul suddenly blurted out and I raised my eyebrow at him.

 

 

“I am?”

 

 

“Think about it. Is there one specific person that you could possibly be in love with?” I sat there in silence and thought real hard. Think Sungmin, think! Are you really in love with anybody?

 

 

Kyuhyun.

 

 

W-what!? Why was Kyuhyun the first person that popped into my head!? I’m definitely not in love with Cho Kyuhyun! I can’t possibly be in love with him! I mean, I don’t even like him. Okay, maybe I do like him, but not in that kind of way, right? My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I heard Heechul snicker.

 

 

“So you are in love with somebody!” he exclaimed.

 

 

“I-I’m not! Really, I’m not!” I denied, not wanting to tell him that Kyuhyun was the first person I thought of. He rolled his eyes at me as he leaned over the table and stared directly at me.

 

 

“Sure you’re not. Anyway, are you always with this person? Do you always seem to smile around them? Do they make you happy? Do they always do things for you? Do they make promises for you even when it’s not necessary? Have they been with you through the tough times and never left your side? Do they give you butterflies or make you blush? Do they make you confused about them and how you really feel towards them? If the answer is yes to all of them, then you’re definitely in love with them; and chances are, they’re in love with you too.”

 

 

I was going to reply to him until Hangeng back with a Chinese style breakfast. Heechul helped him set the table before sliding over to make room for Hangeng to sit and began eating. The subject me being in love or not was instantly dropped and never spoken of again that morning. Not that I wanted to continue that conversation anyway, but I couldn’t get the thought of it out of my head. I can’t really be in love, could I?

 

 

I spent the rest of my morning at their restaurant eating a good breakfast and talking about random things with the two of them, just catching up with each other. Eventually I had to leave to take up my shift at Leeteuk and Kangin’s daycare. I offered to pay my half of the breakfast but the two of them insisted that it was on the house. I smiled to myself inside, relieved that I didn’t have to pay because I realized that I left the house without bringing any money with me anyway.

 

 

A swarm of kids greeted me once I stepped into the daycare and I chuckled at them. They were so happy to see me even though I saw them other day. Leeteuk and Kangin greeted me kindly as well, but went straight back to work, seeing as how they had a lot to deal with.

 

 

I took of my coat and set it aside as I sat onto the play mat, watching as the kids ran around with toys in their hands and listening to the cheers they were spurting out as they played together. I felt something tug on my shirt and looked to my right, only to see Haneul smiling down at me.

 

 

“Hi Oppa!” she exclaimed. I smiled back at her and grabbed her before placing her on my lap.

 

 

“How’s my favorite little girl in the whole wide world?” I asked as I tickled her, and she laughed as she told me stop.

 

 

“Where’s Kyuhyun Oppa?” she asked while looking up at me with big eyes. I frowned for a second before smiling back at her.

 

 

“Kyuhyun Oppa is busy today.”

 

 

“Again? You said he was busy the last time!” she pouted.

 

 

“I know, I’m sorry. Kyuhyun Oppa has a lot to do lately so he can’t come. As soon as he’s not busy, I’ll tell him to come play with you, okay?”

 

 

“I don’t want Kyuhyun Oppa to play with me.”

 

 

“Really? Then why do you want him here?”

 

 

“So he can be with Sungmin Oppa!” Haneul cheered. My eyes grew wide and I looked at her with confusion.

 

 

“Why do you want Kyuhyun Oppa to be with me?”

 

 

“Because Kyuhyun Oppa loves Sungmin Oppa! That’s what he told me. If he’s always busy, then he can’t be with Sungmin Oppa, and that’s not fair. If two people love each other, then they should be together no matter what.” I blushed at her sudden explanation before her friends called out to her and she got up to go play with them. She left me speechless. How could a little kid like her say such a thing to a grown up like me? She isn’t supposed to know anything about love at her age! Right?

 

 

Or maybe I’m just clueless about love itself. I don’t even know what love is supposed to feel like.

 

 

But what did she mean that Kyuhyun told her he loves me? When did they have this conversation? Was she just saying that or was she telling the truth?

 

 

My head hurts from thinking all day. I just want some answers to all of my problems right now.

 

 

…

 

 

My shift ended once evening came. Most of the kids at the daycare were either asleep or they went home already, and that included Haneul. I bid Leeteuk and Kangin farewell before putting my coat back on walked out of the daycare into the autumn air. I took a deep breath before heading towards the direction of my house. I looked up at the sky and saw the sun setting, replacing the sky’s colors with red, yellow, and orange again just like this morning; and leaves began to fly around the cool breeze.

 

 

But I couldn’t even enjoy the fall atmosphere properly with the thought of being in love being stuck in my head. Throughout the entire day, I still hadn’t solved the problem. Am I really in love? I can’t be, right? But what if I am? Then who am I in love with? Is it really Kyuhyun? Can I really be in love with Kyuhyun?

 

 

Suddenly, Heechul’s questions came back into my mind. If I answer yes to all of them about Kyuhyun, then it means that I’m in love.

 

 

Are you always with this person? Yes. Ever since I met him, he’s never really left my side.

 

 

Do you always seem to smile around them? Yes. He may be annoying, but we’re always having a good time together.

 

 

Do they make you happy? Yes. He’s always surprising me something, in a good way.

 

 

Do they always do things for you? Yes. Even when I don’t ask him to do something for me, he does it anyway.

 

 

Do they make promises for you even when it’s not necessary? Yes. He’s always making promises with me. He promised me that everything was going to be okay after my mother died. He promised that I would have a good time at Jeju Island as long as he was there. He even promised to not marry anyone, especially to some girl I wouldn’t like.

 

 

Before I knew it, my feet had ended up at the building where the café used to be. It was now abandoned and out of business. I frowned looking upon it. It would be a really great place to hold a wine shop.

 

 

Come to think of it, Kyuhyun said he wanted to open up a wine shop with me and he was sick. He wanted to use his father’s money just to open one up for us. I smiled unconsciously at the thought of owning my own wine shop with him.

 

 

Have they been with you through the tough times and never left your side? Yes. He was there to comfort me when my mother was dying; telling me everything was going to be alright.

 

 

Do they give you butterflies or make you blush? Yes. Ever since I had that dream about me and him, I always have this weird feeling in my stomach whenever I see him. Almost everything he says makes me blush.

 

 

Do they make you confused about them and how you really feel towards them? Yes. At first I thought I hated him, but then he began to grow on me. I always said he was annoying and never leaves me alone, but honestly he’s not. I like having his company near me. I don’t hate him. I could never hate him. He’s not a bad guy or anything. He’s that person you always want to be around with; that person that Ialways want to be around with. I say that I don’t want him around, but I always want him around. It’s weird not having him by my side all time. I guess I just got so used to him that I never imagined what it would be like if he just suddenly left me. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if Kyuhyun ever walked out of my life.

 

 

Wait, I just answered yes to every question. Does this mean that…?

 

 

Oh my God.

 

 

I’m in love with Kyuhyun. I’ve always been in love with him. I’ve been falling in love with him ever since the beginning.

 

 

“Because Kyuhyun Oppa loves Sungmin Oppa!”

 

 

Does Kyuhyun share the same feelings as me? If Kyuhyun loves me back, does that mean we can be together?

 

 

“Well, well, well. Look what we have here.” My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of an unpleasant voice. I whipped my head around to see Kyuhyun’s father standing in front of me with a big smirk on his face. I took a step back and readied my stance, ready for anything that might come at me.

 

 

“What do you want?” I asked angrily.

 

 

“No need to get angry at me, Sungmin-ssi. I’m just here to run a little errand, that’s all,” he answered.

 

 

“Maybe you didn’t hear me. What do you want?” I asked slowly and loudly this time. He stared me down before smirking again.

 

 

“Kyuhyun asked me to come fetch you. He said he had something important to tell you.” I was shocked by his answer.

 

 

Kyuhyun? He has to tell me something? What could it be? But why doesn’t he just come to me himself? Why did his father have to find me instead? I was feeling rather hesitant to believe what this man had to say, but before I could say anything, he was already entering a black car that was parked beside him. He opened the door and was about to enter before he looked at me again.

 

 

“You don’t want to keep him waiting, do you?” he asked with a smirk. I felt a little uneasy, but nonetheless I entered the car and he closed the door for me. He entered through the other door and told the driver to drive to his company. I was silent throughout the entire car ride and didn’t look anywhere else besides out the window. All my mind could think about was Kyuhyun. Why did he need to see me? What did he need to tell me? Is he going to tell me that he loves me?

 

 

Am I going to tell him that I’m in love with him?

 

 

In a matter of minutes, we had arrived at Mr. Kim’s company. I opened the door myself and as Mr. Kim got out himself as well. “Go on, he’s waiting for you in my office. I’m sure you remember where that is.” I glared at him before quickly making my way through the glass doors of the company and into the elevator, pushing the button for the highest floor. My heartbeat was quickly increasing. I suddenly felt nervous. I mean, being in love with Kyuhyun is crazy, right?

 

 

The elevator dinged, the doors opened, and there I was, standing in front of Mr. Kim’s office with the doors closed. I swallowed the lump in my throat and stepped. I was about to open the doors when I noticed something lying on the floor. I crouched down and picked up the object before almost falling backwards in shock.

 

 

It was the necklace that I gave to Kyuhyun for his birthday. It was all beaten up and rusty. But what was it doing out here?

 

 

I heard Kyuhyun’s muffled voice through the big doors and girl’s voice as well. Not wanting to wait any longer, I stood up and opened the doors fully and saw Kyuhyun hugging Hyun Jae tightly.

 

 

“God dammit, Hyun Jae, I told you that I love you! I’ve always loved you ever since the day I met you. You’re the one and only girl that I want to marry and be with forever. I don’t love Sungmin. I could never, and will never love him. I couldn’t care less about him. I was only playing with him this entire time because commoners like him amuse me. You’re the only one I ever think about. So please, just stay with me. Let’s just forget that Sungmin even exist. The next few days are just gonna be about you and me. When we get married on September 9^th, I will already have forgotten who Lee Sungmin was.”

 

 

It hurts. My heart hurts. It hurts so much.

 

 

There’s lead in my chest and I can’t get it out.

 

 

I’m in love with Kyuhyun.

 

 

But Kyuhyun isn’t in love with me. 

 

---

A/N: I deeply apologize again for not updating quick enough. Some things happened after my last update and I had to take care of them before I could start writing again. But like I said, I'm planning to finish this story this summer, so quicker updates WILL commence! ^^ But anyway, back to the chapter. WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE? Only author-nim knows the answer, mwahahaha! 8D You're just gonna have to wait for the next chapter to find out what comes next~ Please comment, subscribe, and vote! <33333333 

HEY GUYS.... WOONCLOUD HERE. I AM STILL NOT FINISHED EDITING (CUZ I'M A LAZY BUM AND I AM SINCERELY SORRY ABOUT IT) SO PLEASE BE PATIENT... SOON, THIS ENTIRE FIC WILL BE PERFECT, GRAMMAR-WISE AND PLOT-WISE... ^^ DID YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER? AUTHOR-NIM'S CLIFFHANGERS ARE GREAT~~