Eunhyuk’s POV

This is getting ridiculous. Donghae and I haven’t had a decent conversation the entire morning. He didn’t say a word to me when we first woke up, he kept giving me one word replies during breakfast, and now he’s ignoring me while we’re packing!

Why doesn’t he want to talk to me? Is he still mad about what happened down at the beach? But I apologized to him. And he said that didn’t hate me. Okay, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he forgave me for what happened, but he seemed pretty calm about it after I apologized. Maybe he still is mad. But what exactly is he mad about? Is he mad because I yelled at him? Is he mad because I defended Siwon instead of him? Or is he mad because I’m taking such a long time to choose between him and Siwon?

Maybe he’s mad about all three.

I sighed and sat on top of our shared bed next to my suitcase that was completely packed. This vacation didn’t turn out exactly what I had hoped for. First we got Kyuhyun and Sungmin’s little incident which is making them not talk to each other, then Siwon and Hana unexpectedly coming which led to Donghae possibly still being mad at me, and now Yesung and Kyuhyun’s father is getting in the way of our “supposed to be” fun summer time.

I huffed in frustration as I lay on my back. Maybe it’s good that we’re all going home now. I don’t think I could survive another problem here. I need to go home and think some things through.

Just then, the bedroom door opened and I saw Donghae walking in to finish packing up his belongings. He didn’t take one look at me; not even a glance. This was really starting to annoy me. Just how mad was he?

“Donghae?” I called out as I sat up. He still didn’t look at me as he continued to pack up his clothes. “Donghae!” I called out a little louder. I knew he could hear me; he just wanted to ignore me some more, and it was really starting to piss me off. After a few more seconds of ignoring me, he finally finished packing everything that belonged to him. As he turned and headed for the door while bringing his suitcase with him, I stood up and quickly grabbed a hold of his arm, making him unable to move.

“Hyukjae, please let go,” he calmly ordered. He still didn’t look at me.

“Donghae, why are you ignoring me? Are you still mad at me? Why don’t you talk to me?” I asked, and he sighed before moving his arm, trying to get away from me.

“Hyukjae, we have to leave now. Let go!”

“Not until you look at me first!”

“Hyukjae, let go!”

“Look at me!” I practically yelled. Tears were starting to form in my eyes but I was strong enough to hold them in.

The room was silent. Donghae had stopped struggling to walk away from me, but still hesitated to look at me. Finally, he turned his body fully toward me and looked straight into my eyes. I let go of his arm and stared back at him. His eyes were sad, just like they were last night. I knew he was bothered with something; no doubt it was about me. Looking at his sad eyes broke my heart because I know it was my fault.

“Why are you ignoring me?” I asked him quietly. He exhaled and looked down at the floor.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you-”

“Do you hate me?”

“No, I never said I hated y-”

“Then why aren’t you talking to me? If this is about what happened with Siwon, I said I was sorry! I’m sorry that I didn’t consider how you felt yesterday, but I couldn’t help it! I just wanted you guys to stop. I wasn’t just mad at you; I was mad at the both of you! I hate how guys are fighting over me. And if you ask me, I think it’s pretty selfish of you guys to fight over how you feel toward me and don’t consider how I feel about all this!" A tear threatened to escape from the corner of my eye, but I held it in with shaky willpower. "So what do you want me to say? Do you want me to apologize over and over again just to make you happy? Is that what you want? Then I’m sorry Donghae! I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you!”

“If you were really sorry, then you would’ve chosen me already!” Donghae screamed. I always hated it when we raised his voice at me, but this time, it frightened me. It almost made me want to start tearing up again. Seeing that I was about to cry, he sighed again. “Hyukjae, I’m sorry. You don’t need to keep apologizing to me. Yes, I was still a little mad at you for what happened, but I don’t hate you for it. I’m just so frustrated with you when I don’t want to be. Ever since this whole thing started, I was hoping you would pick me over Siwon. I made sure I did everything I could to prove to you that I’m better than he is. I thought you would’ve chosen me already, but seeing that it’s been this long, I feel like all of my efforts are just being wasted. If my feelings haven’t reached you yet, then why am I still trying? Maybe you’re better off with Siwon instead of me.”

His voice was hushed, his eyes were still sad, and his appearance showed just how broken he was. Ever since the first day I met Donghae, all he’s ever told me was that he liked me, and that soon turned into love. I never would’ve thought he’d say something like this to me. It made me feel guilty; it made me feel hurt; it made me feel confused about almost everything.

“What are you saying? You want me to choose Siwon after all? You’re giving up? You’re done loving me?” I asked, still trying to hold back the tears.

“No,” he instantly replied without hesitation. “I meant what I said and I said what I meant. Hyukjae, I’ve fallen in love with you already. Whether you choose me or Siwon, I’m never going to stop loving you. I’m still hoping you’d choose me over him, but since it’s taking you this long to choose, it makes me feel as if you don’t see what I do for you. You only notice what Siwon does for you. I want you to choose me, but I just have this feeling that you’re going to choose him instead. I won’t be able to bear with it, but I’ll accept it.”

Donghae took a few steps forward and reached out to touch my face. It was getting harder and harder for me to keep my tears in, but I still had a little strength in me to not let them fall. Suddenly, he cupped my face and brought his lips close to mine.

“No matter what happens, I’m still going to love and protect you,” he whispered against my lips before kissing me softly. I just stood there, letting him kiss me. His lips just felt so perfect against mine. To my disappointment, he pulled away from me before I could even react. He looked into my eyes once more before walking away with his suitcase.

And that’s when my tears started to fall.

Why am I so stupid? I must be the stupidest person in the entire world.

“Eunhyuk! C’mon! We have to leave!” Sungmin yelled from the kitchen. Quickly, I wiped my tears away from my face, grabbed my suitcase off the bed, and headed out of the room.

As I made my way into the living room, Yesung was already heading out of the house, followed by Sungmin and Donghae. I noticed Kyuhyun and Ryeowook still walking around the whole house as if they were looking for something.

“What are you guys looking for?” I asked them as the both of them passed by me.

“We’re looking for Kyuhyun’s necklace that Sungmin gave him,” Ryeowook answered as he tossed and turned the pillows on the couch.

“Have you seen it? Please tell me you’ve seen it,” Kyuhyun asked as he grabbed hold of my shoulders. He seemed really desperate. I shook my head and he sighed in disappointment before looking around the kitchen.

“Where’s the last place you had it?” I asked.

“I had it on yesterday morning and when you guys went to the beach. When I was going to bed last night, I noticed that I didn’t have it on. I never took that necklace off.”

“You don’t think it might’ve come off when you were in the water to break up Donghae and Siwon, do you?” Ryeowook asked cautiously, and Kyuhyun’s eyes grew wide.

“I have to go back and look for it!” Kyuhyun was just about to head for the door until Ryeowook and I stopped him.

“Kyuhyun, are you crazy!? You can’t go searching through the entire ocean for it! Plus we have to leave!” I tried to reason with him.

“Eunhyuk is right! Maybe you just misplaced it somewhere. It’s probably in your bag. C’mon, you can look for it in your bag later. We have to leave now,” Ryeowook persuaded. Kyuhyun sighed in defeat before grabbing his suitcase and heading outside toward the taxi that was waiting for us.

Kyuhyun looked really worried about that necklace. I could tell just by the look on his face how much he cared about it. Kyuhyun cares about Sungmin so much. Even his actions show how close he keeps Sungmin to his heart. I don’t see how Sungmin can’t see what Kyuhyun does for him.

Yeah, like I can say that when Donghae does the exact same thing for me.

“Ryeowook! Eunhyuk! We have to go!” Sungmin yelled again.

“We’re coming!”

…

We reached the airport just time before our flight was about to depart. The six of us quickly made our way toward the gate and looked for our seats. Once I found mine, I noticed that Donghae was sitting in the same row next to me. As much as I wanted to be sitting next to him, I didn’t think we should be near each other until we get back home. I quickly walked past a couple more rows until I saw Sungmin and Kyuhyun sitting next to each other.

“Sungmin hyung, do you mind if I sit with you? I don’t want to be sitting next to Donghae for this flight,” I awkwardly asked him.

“Oh, sure Eunhyuk. Kyuhyun, can you switch seats with him and go sit with Donghae? Just this once,” Sungmin asked Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun just smiled at him before nodding his head and getting up to sit next to Donghae. I sat down next to Sungmin and quickly put my seat belt on, seeing that the plane was going to take off any minute.

“Are you and Kyuhyun…you know…okay now?” I asked him and he smiled softly at me.

“Yeah, we’re fine. We talked this morning to clear things up. Everything is back to normal now.”

“Well, that’s good for you two,” I said half-heartedly. Don’t get me wrong; I was glad the two of them were talking again. I just wished I could say the same about me and Donghae.

“What’s up with you and Donghae? Did you guys have a fight?”

“Yes? No? Sort of? Not really? I don’t even know what’s going on with us.” I covered my face and sighed, showing my frustration. “He’s mad at me, but he doesn’t hate me...”

“I’m not surprised. I mean, you’ve been keeping him waiting for an answer all this time. Of course he’s going to be mad since you haven’t picked him yet. I don’t ever expect him to hate you though. Anybody can see just how much he does for you. He’s in love with you, for crying out loud!” Great; even Sungmin could see how much Donghae does for me.

“Well, I guess not everybody.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s mad at me because I don’t realize how much he does for me to prove how much better he is than Siwon.”

“Wow. You really are stupid, Eunhyuk.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Think about it. Donghae does so much more for you than Siwon. He cares more about you. He’s always there for you, always making you smile. He makes all of the effort just for you. He’s liked you since the very first day you guys met. How can you say that you’re still deciding between the both of them? How do you not realize that Donghae is the one for you? Just how long are you going to keep him waiting?”

The two of us stayed silent for the rest of the ride back to Seoul. If only I could say the same things about him and Kyuhyun. He left me speechless; especially since I knew he was right. Just how long was I supposed to keep the two of them waiting? I can’t say forever; I have to decide now.

The ride back to Seoul was quick. We were all out of the plane in a blink of an eye. Once we found all of our suitcases and regrouped, we found Yesung and Kyuhyun’s father standing outside of the airport next to a black car, waiting for them with his arms crossed.

“It looks like…we have to go now,” Yesung stated sadly. He kissed Ryeowook goodbye before waving to me and Sungmin and walking toward the black car. Kyuhyun quickly hugged Sungmin, obviously not wanting to keep his father waiting, and headed towards the black car as well. And with that, they were gone and out of sight. That was when I realized that Donghae had already left to go home. He left without saying goodbye.

“Eunhyuk, do you want to come over? Ryeowook and I are going to buy cake and sleepover,” Sungmin offered but I shook my head.

“No thanks. I…have a lot of thinking to do tonight,” I answered before taking a cab all the way back home.

And that’s exactly what I did. I was thinking all night; about Donghae. I stayed in my room all night in the dark, lying down on my bed, thinking about. Siwon called me seven times and sent me tons of text messages, but I ignored him. Donghae was the only one on my mind.

What was he doing right now? Did he eat yet? Was he at home? Was he dancing? How was he feeling? Ever since what happened to us in Jeju, I felt different. It's weird. I’d gotten so used to having Donghae always by my side, but he didn’t even want to be near me. I felt alone, abandoned, unprotected, unhappy. I didn’t realize how different my life had been ever since I met him.

When I was with Siwon, it feels like an old friend had re-entered my life, and I felt happy to be spending so much time with someone I hadn’t seen for so many years. I’m grateful to have a friend like Siwon in my life. When did I start liking him? I guess it was when he told me he loved me. Siwon loves me, but it feels weird. I’d never felt loved before. It’s different than what I had expected. His touch didn’t give me butterflies. His kiss didn’t start a spark between us. His love…didn’t feel like love. He’s like everybody else in the world. I didn’t love Siwon.

But Donghae is different.

When I’m with Donghae, it feels like I’m with a person who I’ve known for so long, yet I still know nothing about them. He feels like a stranger who’s entered my life, and I want to be around him all the time. He makes me feel like I’m special; like I’m important. He makes me feel loved.

The first time he told me he liked me; I really didn’t know how to react. No one had ever told me they liked me before. When he told me he loved me; I felt…happy. His touch gave me butterflies. His kisses sent me sparks. His love felt like everything I’d always wanted. He’s different because he’s the only one who makes me feel this way.

He cares about me more than I think. He’s proved that he loved me more than his father whom he was so close with. He’s shown that he’ll do anything for me. He’s protected me this entire time and made me feel safe. He’s made me so happy. He’s given me every ounce of love he had and always comes back to give me more.

Man, I’m the stupidest guy on earth. Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

I like the both of them, but it’s clear that I like Donghae more.

No, it’s more than that. I don’t just like him.

I love him.

I’m in love with Donghae. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

That’s it. That’s my answer.

I choose Donghae. 

A/N: I promised to be back with another update by the weekend, and thus, I give you the next update! :D Although I honestly don't know what I wrote exactly. It's late at night and I'm going crazy with late night conversations with my friends~ x) Before I forget, some of you may have noticed that this story also has a second author. Please welcome my new bunny iamawooncloud, who's going to fix all of my mistakes in this fic because I'm just so lazy to fix them myself OTL Please be kind~ Did everyone enjoy this chapter? Stupid Hyukkie finally made a decision :3 All of my bunnies make me so happy by commenting~ Especially when they're long comments~~ Will update asap! Please comment, subscribe, and vote! <333333333333333333333

ello? Hey, iamawooncloud here ^^ Just poppin in to say hi~ and yes, hyuk (the idiot) did finally realize that hae is the one for him!! :DD anyway, like the good author-nim said: leave your love for this story by commenting, subbing, and voting!! (btw, I do read your comments and they make me smile~ You guys are so funny kekeke ^^) <3 to you all *mmwaaaah*