Different
Call me B.IThe next day I went too early to school since I couldn't sleep last night. My mind was full of Hanbin. His lips were right in front of mine. But they didn't touch. I'm so ashamed of myself. Why would I close my eyes? I know that I'm a little bit interested in him and that he is so hot and y and cute sometimes. But since when I let myself go? If I were in my right mind I wouldn't let him do it. But the embrassing part is that nothing happend and in the end he was the one who turned me down. And he knew that the rumour spread because of me. But it wasn't on purpose. I hope he won't think that I have a crush on him or something like that. I think I would change my school and move somewhere else where he couldn't see me. Maybe to America? Yes, definietly to America.
I saw no one in the school. Well, who would come to school 45 minutes earlier? Whatever, the less people the better. I put my backpack on my table and hew my head on it. Suddenly my eyes went heavier and heavier and heavier.....
„Ouch!" I felt that someone hit my head. I looked up and saw..... Hanbin!
Please no! He was the one who I wanted to see at least. I saw him smirking and going to the end of the classroom to his seat. Why would he make a long way to my seat and go back to his? Just to hit me?
The weird thing was that everyone stopped to talk about Hanbin being gay. Well, after all he is Hanbin. I'm sure he flirted with a girl where everyone could see them just to end the rumour. As the teacher went in to the classroom I saw Soohyun running.
„Good timing, like always" You could hear the irony from the teacher. No wonder since Soohyun comes always too late to class. What's with her? She really needs a clock or something like that. A week ago I was her clock but right now it's different. No one is warning here because of the time. Not even her boyfriend. I hope the teacher won't have a bad view on her. It could really affect her grades. As she went to her seat she looked at me. As I looked away I wasn't sure if she smiled at me or not. I peeked back to make sure but it was too late. Her eyes went somewhere else.
In the break many people stared at me but I wasn't sure why. Yuk Jidam made her way to me. „Hayi Unnie! Is that true?!"
„What is true?"
„You and B.I?"
„What's with us?" I really hoped that it was not what I thought.
„Yesterday. You and him. After school.."
„I-I don't know what you are talking about"
„Thatyouwantedtokisshimbutherejectedyou"
She spoke so fast without a break that I couldn't follow her. „I-I didn't understand you"
„That both of you nearly kissed!!"
„A-ani ani. That's not true. Just a rumour"
„Someone saw you two. You wanted to kiss him but he rejected you"
„What? Nonesense. He was the one who wanted to kiss me"
„Omo. So it's true?"
„NO!" I turned around to walk away. Stupid Hayi! Why would you blab so much?!
She ran ahead to catch me and didn't let go. „Yaa unnie! I want to help you.. Let's end the rumour"
„Why would you do that for me?"
„Last time you helped me. But now I am the one who wants to help you. The way you protected me. You fought for the justice. I want to be like you!"
I really got a bad feeling. She is such a nice girl. And so young. Why would I make her my rival? Because of Hanbin? They didn't even dated. And I don't even like him.
„Please help me.."
---
„So what's the first step"
„First of all we are searching for you a boyfriend"
„B-boyfriend?"
„Yea, but just for now. Not a real boyfriend"
„Do you know someone?"
„Yes I have someone in my mind. He also thinks you're cute"
„Omo. Who is it?" Somehow I got really excited pretending to be in a relationship. I also got excited to get to know him.
We went to a classroom and I got so nervous. My heart pounted so fast.
„Yo Jidam! What's up" A not-so tall boy came to us. To be real he looked scary. He was all in black. Black pants, black shirt with a leather jacket and he wore a black snapback. Around his neck he wore a silver necklace which was really bold. He looked like a real ganster.
„Let me introduce him to you. His name Dokki aka Gonzo the notorious kid or the dirty south korean"
„Eh thanks. I will call him Dokki" I forced a smile.
„He is half korean, 1/4 filipino and 1/4 spanish"
„Nice to meet ya, Hayi~"
Yuk Jidam continued her speech. „He is a famous underground rapper and also composer. He produces songs for many famous Korean hip hop rappers, such as Drunken Tiger and Epik High. Most of the lyrics were written by him, as well as the music."
I really wasn't interested in him nor I wanted to pretend being in a relationship with him. People would laugh at me. „Thanks but I heard the school bell. I don't want to be late to class. Bye~" I walked so fast as I could.
Behind me I heard them talking. „Did you hear the bell?"
„Ani, but she must be right. Let's talk to her tomorrow"
What's with our school. Is it a famous artist school or what? All the rapper and songwriter. I can't take it anymore. First Akmu than BI than Bobby and yet him? I have a really small existence compared to them.
----
„Today is the last time where we kept in after school" I said to Hanbin.
„I know. Are you sad?"
„W-why should I ?" Looking back to the tasks I began to write. To be sure I was sad. As we did the assignments it was so quiet that I could hear him breathing. Somehow I thought it was cute. In the end he is also a human being. He is breathing like everyone. Omg Hayi please stop with your philosophy. Suddenly the situation from yesterday crossed my mind. Now I got more nervous. I wrote really fast so that I could go first.
„Someone saw us" I didn't want to talk about it but it didn't let me go.
„Saw us?"
„Y-yea. Because of yesterday"
„What did we do?"
„You don't remember?"
„We didn't do anything. What are you talking about Hayi-ya"
„Forget it"
„Do you mean where I teased you?"
„I'm so happy that you could remember" What's with him? I couldn't sleep because of that and he forgot it right after that?
„And what if they saw us? I mean we didn't do anything"
„You're right. We didn't do anything" Omg he annoyed the hell of me. He made me so mad. Why is he pretending like it was nothing. I wanted to scream at him but I tried to stay calm. I wanted to say that maybe it was nothing for him but for me.. I was really happy. But what could I do? He is in a whole other level. He is rich, he is famous, he could get every girl he wants. He can control someones mind, he can manipulate, he can hypnotize. He can do what he wants. But me? A girl who isn't skinny or tall, a girl without a perfect face and perfect body. Neither rich nor famous. Not special, not attractive. Who am I to be accepted and cared by him?
„Hanbin-ah"
„Hmm?"
„Let's not meet tomorrow"
„Wae?"
„I am with a friend"
„Oh I see"
As expected from him. He wasn't angry nor did it bother him.
Suddenly someone called me. I didn't know the number. Clueless, without knowing who it was I accepted the phone call.
„Annyeong haseyo?"
„Annyeong~ I'm Dokki"
No, no, no! Not this scary boy. My face turned to a disgusted expression.
„Oh hey Dokki" From my voice you could hear that I wasn't pleased to talk with him.
As Hanbin heard the name Dokki he suddenly looked at me.
„Oh I'm in the school
- A-ani I can go by myself
- No no you don't need to come all the way to school
-Yes I will go by myself
- If we can meet tomorrow?
- No I don't have time. Ani I'm with a friend
- Ah no don't bother yours-„
All in a sudden Hanbin took the phone away from me and talked to him.
„Didn't you understand? She doesn't want you so don't call anymore!" He hang up the call and looked at me with an angry mien.
„From where do you know him?"
„Yuk Jidam"
„You aren't allowed to meet him. Don't even talk to him!"
„What the.. Waeee??"
„That's why!"
He still had my phone on his hands and went to the upcoming phone calls and deleted his number.
„Jinjja.. What's with you?"
He didn't answer me. He took the finished assignments and went away followed by me.
---
Mrs. Park said „ Up today you are free. No more work after school"
I bowed to her „Kamsahamnida".
As I looked back Hanbin was gone. Today I didn't catch up to him. He is so weird sometimes. Why should I walk with him? To enlarge the distance between us I went to a vending machiene and bought soda. As I went off from school I saw Hanbin staying before the school gates.
„You aren't gone?"
„With whom are you going tomorrow?"
„With a friend. Why are you asking?"
„Which friend?"
„None of your business"
„Who do you think you are to talk with me like that?"
Hearing that I suddenly stopped right in front of him.
„Who I am? You know the same thing I asked myself before. Who am I to talk with Kim Hanbin aka B.I? Who am I to push me in the same level with B.I? Who am I? Now I know the answer clearly. I AM LEE HAYI !"
He just looked at me with an irritated expression. I continued my talk.
„I can talk with everyone in every manner. I can do whatever I want. In the end we all are humans. No one is above someone. Nobody is a superior. We all are in the same level indifferent from the social status or money or appearance!"
I still looked up to him and he looked at me. Omo Hayi! Stay strong. Don't look away. You can't loose to him.
„Tss" He suddenly began to laugh.
As he started to walk I didn't move. I just followed him with my eyes.
„You are really something"
„Why are you laughing? I'm serious"
„I know haha"
„You think you can do whatever you want. But I'm not like the other girls. I'm different"
„You're right. You are completely different from other girls"
„I know right" Proudly I also began to walk.
„You're ego is so unlike others"
„Yea I know"
„You are so dissenting"
„Oh please stop with your compliments"
Suddenly Hanbin took his arm around my neck and pressed me into his chest. With his fist he rubbed my head. „Stop it!! It hurts"
„Wae? You said you aren't like the other girls"
„You know I also have feelings and right now it hurts!!"
„You didn't answer my question"
„Which question?"
„Who is your friend you are meeting up with?"
I tried to take his arm away from my neck. „I said quit it"
„Don't change the topic"
„Why do you want to know? You know exactly that I don't have friends! Now go on. Make fun of me"
He took his arm away and stopped in the middle of the way.
„You don't have friends?"
„I was all alone. You didn't notice? In the class where everyone got to talk I stayed quiet. In group work no one asked me if I want to join them. Not even you. In the break I sat on the bench alone. Eating alone, 'having fun' alone. Please don't pretend like you didn't notice it"
He didn't say anything just stared at me.
„Oh please. Don't look at me with your pitiful eyes. I don't need your sympathy. It's not that bad being alone. I mean you have more time for yourself. And trust me it's the best thing in life"
„Soohyun.. What's with her?"
„Ah nothing. We aren't in good terms right now but that's all"
I hit his arm to ease the situation. „Let's go home B.I" He still stared at me. Not knowing what to say.
„I said let's go B.I" I began to smile at him.
„Then why are you lying? You said you don't want to go with me tomorrow"
„Why? Because you are so irritating. Sometimes you are so cold, not talking to me, ignoring me and sometimes you are so nice, so caring. You change yourself so drastically. It's like you go from B.I to Hanbin than again to B.I. I can't handle you!"
„You can't handle me? Didn't you notice what's going on Hayi?
„What?"
He suddenly smirked. „Tsh, you are so stupid"
„I don't get you.."
Author's note: Hmm, what do you think? What's going on? What is Hanbin talking about?! :D
The part where Lee Hayi said:' I'm not like the other girls. I'm different.'
I hope everyone understood the joke. It's actually a quote from: Hi Suhyun- I'm different (Naneun dalla)
Comments