(I am so sorry about a while ago... I accidentally posted this chapter even though it's not yet done. Hahaha T.T)

And of course… my longest chapter… so yeah… this it also took some time to write. At first, when I started this story, I thought it would only be around 20 chapters only, but here is chapter 43… hhahaha

Thanks in advance for staying with me until this last moment. And please, stay tuned, because I THINK MAYBE I’ll be making an epilogue and a bonus chapter. Hehehe

So without further ado… HERE IT IS!!!

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Author’s POV:

He got down from the bus and stared at the house he hadn’t lived in for a long time. Jungkook took a deep breath and stepped inside the garden, and tried to lift his heavy suitcase so as not to alert people that he’s back. He set the bag down when he was in front of the door, and pulled his hoodie over his head. Slowly, Jungkook lifted his hand and knocked on the door thrice.

After a few seconds, he heard the door knob clicked as the door opened. The woman wearing a white and red checkered apron eyed him from head to toe for a few moments, and then smiled and pulled Jungkook into a hug. “Jungkook! You’re home!” his eomma said as she tightened the embrace.

“Yah! Eomma! The neighbors may hear us! I’m trying to keep a low profile here!” Jungkook softly scolded his mother. She released Jungkook and laughed.

“Come in!” She said to Jungkook and opened the door wider to let Jungkook and his enormous suitcase into the house. “What brought you here?” She asked as she returned to the kitchen to continue her cooking. Jungkook lifted his baggage and started to climb the stairs to his room.

“I went here to get some of my stuff. I’m going to US for a vacation two days from now.” Jungkook answered.

“Really? For how long?” Her mother answered from the kitchen.

“About three months, eomma.” Jungkook shouted from inside his room. He was exhausted from the trip back to Busan, and he could surely use some rest right now. Jungkook put his suitcase down on the floor, and plopped down on his bed. Ah… It’s been too long since I last slept here. Jungkook thought as he moved his hand back and forth to feel the smooth sheets. He fell asleep almost immediately. Lately, he hasn’t been getting enough sleep because of his issue with Jimin. Most of his nights were spent with him crying on Namjoon’s bed. And now that he just let all his feelings out at the cliff, he finally could get some peaceful sleep.

Jungkook woke up and opened his eyes. When he looked above him, he saw a familiar figure smiling at him and shaking him.

“Yah, wake up!” Jungkook remembers that voice. Jungkook remembers everything that’s happening right now, actually. Why is Jimin-hyung straddling me? No, why is he here?!

“J-Jimin-hyung?” Jungkook asked as he rubbed his eyes to clear his vision, and he regretted doing so, because when he opened his eyes, it was only his imagination. Jimin was not there in the room, straddling him. Jungkook felt sad for a moment. It’s only a few hours since the last time he saw the boy, but he’s already missing him. He felt a drop of tear roll down his cheek.

“Jungkook! Go down here and eat dinner!” Jungkook heard his mother calling from downstairs. Dinner? What time is it? I haven’t eaten lunch yet! Jungkook protested as he picked his phone up to check the time. 8:00 pm. He couldn’t help but think about how Jimin was doing. Is he already eating? What is he doing now? Is he having fun with Tae-hyung? Or is he crying over what happened? No, Jungkook, of course he won’t cry anymore.

“Coming eomma!” Jungkook shouted, and wiped his tear before stepping down from his bed and heading downstairs. He saw his mother already setting the table up for him. “Where’s appa?” Jungkook asked.

“Oh… he’s working for extra hours tonight. He texted me a while ago that his boss was rushing something.” His mother answered. Jungkook sat on the chair by the dining table and stared at the food. He was surprised when his bowl was snatched, and he just stared at the table, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks, waiting for the bowl to return. When it did, it was already full of food.

“Thanks, hyung.” Jungkook muttered before starting to munch at the food. He earned a slap on his shoulder a few seconds later.

“Yah! What hyung?! I’m your eomma!” his mother ranted. Jungkook looked beside him and saw his mother crossing her arms across his chest. Oh… it’s not Jimin-hyung.

“Oh… Sorry eomma… I just got used to calling to my friends hyung.” Jungkook apologized to his mother. She sat down on her seat and started to eat with Jungkook.

“It’s alright. So… they spoil you in your house, huh? They fill you bowl with food for you.” Jungkook’s mom asked, and he fought the heat that was starting to get to his face.

“Y-yeah… They really spoil me, because I am the maknae of the group.” Jungkook stuttered. That was a lie – they don’t spoil him, only Jimin does so. Jungkook mentally scolded himself for thinking about Jimin all the time. Yah! You chose to get some time alone to heal! Jungkook looked at the bowl again and sighed before continuing to eat.

***

Jimin woke up alone in his bed. His stomach was grumbling from hunger, because he only got to eat a few spoonful of the dinner. He was still hugging his pillow, just like how he hugged it last night when he fell asleep crying over Jungkook. He rubbed his eyes, and went out of his room, and saw Tae already sprawled lazily on the sofa, and Hoseok and Jin cooking the breakfast. Tae heard Jimin’s heavy steps and sat up.

“Good morning, hyung.” Tae greeted Jimin with a smile. Jimin only answered with an ‘mmm’ and proceeded to one of the couches and sat down. Tae looked at him with concern on his face. He was just trying to cheer Jimin up, because he remembers what happened last night. When Jimin broke down in front of the whole group during dinner. He knows that Jimin never showed other people that he’s sad, because he doesn’t want others to get concerned for him. That’s why he knew that Jimin’s emotions really got a little bit out of hand this time, because he wasn’t able to keep it inside, and just let himself cry in front of the group.

Tae stood up and went closer to Jimin, who was just staring at the floor, as if he lost his mind. He stopped in front of Jimin and knelt down to touch Jimin’s knee. “Hyung… you know you can tell me what’s bothering you, right?” Tae said to Jimin. Jimin lifted his gaze up and looked at Tae. He only looked. Not speak.

Tae sighed and went closer to Jimin. “Hyung, you’ll explode if you just keep everything inside. We told you that it’s ok if you don’t talk to us yet, but seeing you just breakdown in front of everyone last night, I knew that it’s too much for you to handle all by yourself. Hyung, I’m here.” Tae explained to Jimin. He saw a tear slowly fall from Jimin’s eye.

“The night when Jungkook went missing, honestly Tae, I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do. I just didn’t want to show you guys that I am still concerned with Jungkook. I just wanted to show that I am ok now – that I’ve moved on from everything that happened between the two of us. But the truth is, it’s not just you to whom I was lying. I was also lying to myself, trying to act like I don’t care about Jungkook anymore.” Jimin explained as tears fell down in streams from his eyes. Tae went closer and hugged Jimin to comfort him. “And that night too, he begged me to meet him at the cliff where we watched the sunrise.” Jimin confessed to Tae.

Tae’s eyes widened at the revelation, and he wanted to ask ‘why didn’t you tell us?’, but he already knew the answer. “W-What did you do?” Tae asked.

“Part of me wanted to decline – to let him wait for me for hours at the cliff. But I can’t. Another part of me wanted to talk to him – to see him, at least. And that’s why I went to the cliff by jogging. When I got there, we talked.” Jimin answered. Tae was getting more and more excited, but seeing tears coming from his best friends eyes was also hurting him.

“What did you talk about?” Tae asked again. Jimin took a deep breath before answering the question.

“He asked for forgiveness, Tae. He apologized for everything he’s done to me before and after the accident.”

“And did you give it to him?” Tae asked while rubbing Jimin’s shoulder.

“I didn’t want to, Tae. I tried to convince myself that I shouldn’t forgive him just yet. I thought it was wrong to forgive him that early.” Jimin explained. Tae wanted to slap Jimin right there, and tell him that it was never wrong to give someone your forgiveness, but that wouldn’t make the situation any better. He’s just here to listen – to serve as a trash bin for Jimin’s pent up emotions.

“And he also told me that he doesn’t deserve anything but pain. Of course, I answered him that he deserves suffering, but by that time, I knew I didn’t mean it. He also said that I don’t deserve to suffer this much, and that’s when I felt myself giving in to his request. I began to forgive him for his mistakes.” Jimin said, but his speech was beginning to fall apart too, as his tears began to flow like rivers. “A-and he told me that he w-won’t let me suffer again.” Jimin continued, but his words were also beginning to get cut by sobs. “I didn’t get the meaning of that… b-but now… I understand. J-Jungkook ch-chose to stay away from me…” he said to Tae. Tae pulled Jimin tighter into the hug.

“And th-then, h-he pulled me i-in for a kiss…” Jimin sobbed. “I felt all the l-love he t-tried to g-give me, T-Tae… I f-felt it in th-that k-kiss…” Jimin continued. “But I never thought it could be the last time!” Jimin cried out as he collapsed into Tae’s chest and cried. Tae continued to hug Jimin. He can’t do anything now but be here for his friend. He can’t do anything but comfort him with a hug, because he doesn’t know how hurt his hyung was. He never experienced such pain, and he cannot say anything that would be of great help. So he just offered his chest for the older to cry on.

After a few minutes, Jimin pulled away and stood up. Tae assisted him to his feet.

“Hyung, breakfast is ready.” Tae said to Jimin. Jimin shook his head.

“I don’t want to eat.” Jimin stated as he went for his room. When he opened the door of his room, he looked on his bed, and remembered their cuddling times.

“It should work. It’s make or break this time.”

“Let’s continue the cuddle. I want to cuddle you… feels so comfortable.”

“Don’t get me wrong! I-I just really like cuddling people, not just you, ok?”

Jimin felt pain in his chest as he dropped his body on the mattress. It’s just early in the morning, and he’s already exhausted. He pulled the pillow from under his head and hugged it. I miss cuddling you, Kookie.

Jimin was woken up by the sharp pain in his stomach, and he can’t ignore it anymore. His hunger became too much to handle, and he heard Tae knocking at his door.

“Hyung! Come down now and eat lunch!” Tae shouted from the other side of the door. Jimin stood up and opened the door. Tae assisted him downstairs and to the dining room, where the other members are already seated, just waiting for Jimin. Jimin took his seat, and stared at the food. He was shocked when his bowl was snatched in front of him, and looked up. He was disappointed when instead of seeing Jungkook filling his bowl, it was Tae.

“Hyung, eat now.” Tae said as he returned Jimin’s bowl already filled with food. Jimin sighed and decided to eat the lunch. It wasn’t really a hard thing to do, because he was already starving. He was so occupied by his hunger that he didn’t feel the new drops of tears streaming down his cheeks. I miss you so much, Jungkook.

After eating lunch, Jimin went to the porch and stared at the distance. He just looked at the horizon, wishing that he had eyes so sharp that he could see Jungkook from the porch. He wished that at least, even from a far, he could see Jungkook. But he knew he couldn’t. He knew that no matter how high he is from the ground, he won’t see Jungkook. He couldn’t help but cry again, feeling stupid because he was crying too much. How are you doing, Jungkook? Are you well? Have you eaten already? Jimin asked in his mind. Are you crying over me too? I hope you’re not… because it hurts Jungkook, it hurts like …

Why did you leave me?

***

Jungkook just finished eating lunch, and proceeded to his room to pack his things for his departure tomorrow. He opened the suitcase he brought with him, and tossed all of its contents to his bed. He opened his closet in his room and threw all the clothes in there on top of the things on his bed. He reached for the top of the closet, and pulled down another black suitcase. After opening it and putting it down on the floor, he began to rummage through the pile of clothes and folded them one by one before they were put inside the suitcase. After getting all the clothes he wanted to bring, he put the rest back to the closet and closed it.

Next stop was his desk. He picked his back pack that he also brought with him up and took all of its contents out. He stopped when he saw a red drawing notebook. He almost forgot about the notebook that sat on his desk in his shared room with Jimin, because since they started recording and doing shows, he didn’t have time to work on it. He flipped the pages, and saw his hand drawn picture of Namjoon. He also finished a drawing of Yoongi, Hoseok, Tae, and Jin. The next page was an unfinished drawing of Jimin.

Jungkook looked at the drawing on the notebook and couldn’t help but feel a slight pain in his heart. He couldn’t finish the drawing, even if he wanted to, because there was one part the he kept on doing wrong. He couldn’t draw Jimin’s eyes.

Jungkook picked a pencil from his desk and settled down. He closed his eyes, and imagined Jimin’s eyes looking into his. He tried to invoke the image that he printed in the back of his mind before they parted ways in the cliff. He opened his eyes, and let his hand do the work. The pencil moved smoothly over the paper and before Jungkook knew it, he was done. He put the pencil down and lifted the notebook up, and stared at it.

Perfect.

Jungkook was satisfied by his drawing. At least, now, he’s got another thing that would make him miss Jimin less while he’s in the other side of the world. He closed the notebook and put his inside his bag. He continued to pack things into the bags until he heard a shout from downstairs.

“Jungkook!!! Come down now! Dinner’s ready!” his mother shouted. W-what? Isn’t it too early for dinner! Jungkook thought to himself as he picked his phone up to check the time. 6:30 pm. Hissing, Jungkook stood up from his seat in the bed and headed to the dining room, where his mother was already setting the table up for dinner.

“Eomma? It’s just 6:30 in the afternoon… the sun is still up outside! Isn’t it too early for dinner?” Jungkook asked his mother.

“But son, your flight tomorrow is early too! That’s why you need to go to sleep early, so that you could wake up early tomorrow too.” His mother answered. Oh… she has a point… Jungkook thought as he sat down his chair and started eating. “Don’t worry; appa and I are going to eat later. It’s just that you had to go first.”

“Thanks, umma.” Jungkook mouthed with his mouth full of food, earning him a slap in the shoulder.

***

Cute… Jimin thought as he came across a photo of Jungkook holding a cotton candy in the amusement park. He was seated on his bed, phone in hand, shuffling through his gallery of photos with Jungkook. It’s just barely two days since the last time he saw Jungkook, but he was dying to see him again. He was dying to hold the boy close to him, and feel his smooth skin. He was dying to feel his love again.

“Hyung! Dinner’s ready!” Jimin heard Tae shouting from behind his door AGAIN. Every meal, Tae never failed to call Jimin through his door. Jimin stood up, locking his phone in one hand, and wiping his tears with the back of the other. He opened the door and was greeted by Tae standing properly outside. Tae gave him a reassuring smile, and together, they headed to the dining table, where everyone was already seated. Everyone except him and Tae. And Jungkook. Jimin couldn’t help but hope every time he was called to meals that he would see Jungkook there, seating on his seat, waiting for him. But that is not happening.

Jimin took his seat beside Tae and filled his own bowl, knowing perfectly that Jungkook wasn’t there beside him to fill it for him. And it hurts him.

Awkward air was hanging around the room. No one was speaking. Silence was everything that was in there, except for the clanging of the utensils against the metal bowls. Finally, Namjoon decided to speak up.

“I think Jungkook changed his number. I tried texting him, he didn’t reply. I tried calling him. The phone won’t even ring.” Namjoon said to no one in particular. Everyone looked up and to each other. Except Jimin. Jimin just kept eating, stuffing his mouth with the food. He didn’t even feel the tears that were freely flowing from his eyes.

“Yah… hyung, the food will get all salty with your tears.” Tae said to Jimin. Jimin stopped eating and touched his cheeks to find them wet again. He’s become so used to the feeling of tears on his cheeks that he didn’t know he was already crying.

“Hyung, are you alright?” Tae asked again, touching Jimin’s shoulder. Jimin stood up.

“I don’t think I can eat now… I-I will go back to my room.” He said as he slowly walked from the dining room to his own room. When his door shut close, the other members looked at Namjoon with disbelief.

“Really? Namjoon?” Jin scolded Namjoon.

“I’m sorry…” Namjoon apologized to everyone. They looked at Jimin’s closed front door and sighed. “For how long will Jimin be like this? Three months?” Everyone just shrugged.

Back inside his room, Jimin took a deep breath, and plopped his body into the bed. He willed his tears to flow down from his eyes, and he seeks comfort from his pillow, as he hugged it and nuzzled his face into its soft surface. “Kookie, I love you so much.” Jimin said as he continued to cry on the pillow. If only the Jungkook could feel his love right now. If only the pillow was Jungkook instead.

Jimin was curled up like that when he heard his door creak open slowly. “Jungkook?” Jimin said softly when he saw the tall, broad shadow on the wall. He turned, and he frowned in disappointment when it wasn’t Jungkook who opened his door.

“No… not Jungkook.” Jin said as he entered the room and turned the lights on before sitting on the bed beside Jimin.

“Jimin, you will be alright, right? You will get through this. We’re here for you, no matter what happens.” Jin said comfortingly to Jimin. Jimin hugged the pillow tighter.

“I don’t know hyung. I don’t know how to be alright.” Jimin answered to Jin as more tears fell to the pillow. “Hyung…” Jimin continued and he looked at Jin. “I don’t know how it will be alright without him… I don’t know how I will be alright without Jungkook. I don’t even know how to LIVE without his love.”

Jin felt the pain in Jimin’s words. And being an emotional person too, Jin had to fight his tears back. He wasn’t experiencing it, but he was so affected by Jimin’s words. Jimin had the most contagious laugh and working attitude in the group, and Jin never knew that even Jimin’s tears were contagious. But he didn’t come here to cry with Jimin.

“Maybe this will help.” Jin said as he pulled an object from behind him and handed it over to Jimin. Jimin looked at the black, white, and red box that was being handed to him, and frowned.

“Hyung! How it this thing supposed to help me?! Are you telling me that re-reading the bad memories would help me?! Are you telling me that in order to be alright, I should remember how Jungkook turned me down?! How he destroyed me in the past?!” Jimin asked furiously, shaking his head in disbelief. Jin was taken aback by Jimin’s sudden outburst. Of course that wasn’t what he was trying to tell the younger.

“Of course not! Jimin, breathe.” Jin said as he tried to calm Jimin’s emotions. “I know you know that Jungkook goes to my shared room with Tae, right?” Jin asked. Jimin looked at Jin and recalled the events he saw the night before he found out about everything. He saw Jungkook emerging from their room. And he looked like he was trying to hide something from Jimin. Now, he knows that Jungkook was hiding the box from him. But it still didn’t register why to him as to why would Jungkook go there many times.

“Yeah… I know that.” Jimin answered Jin in a more calm tone.

“Actually… the reason why he goes in our room is because he was writing on the notes too.” Jin confessed to Jimin. Jimin just stared at his hyung, still unable to process what he was trying to say. “He realized that he loves you when he almost lost you in the accident. And that’s also when he saw your notes. He was so determined to make it up to you, so he thought it you’d find it sweet if he gives his notes to you when you wake up. But unfortunately, you…” Jin explained to Jimin.

“…forgot about him.” Jimin said staring at the box. Jin nodded.

“He goes to our room to write about you and him, because he can’t say to you how much he loves you. He was a kid, who was never good at putting down his feelings in words.” Jin continued to talk. Jimin felt bad with every detail Jin was presenting to him – he felt bad for not knowing everything and still putting all the blame on Jungkook. “So maybe, if every day, or at least every time you miss him, you would read a note, maybe you could at least live for the three months.” Jin said to Jimin. Jimin looked at the box, and then back at his hyung.

“Actually, Jimin, when you remembered everything, Jungkook asked me to throw that box away, along with its contents. He said that now you remember everything, there’s no point in having that box sit around here. But I didn’t do it. I chose to hide it, because I’m still hoping that someday, you and Jungkook will read your own notes together years from now.” Jin explained to Jimin, as Jimin’s eyes released a fresh batch of tears.

“Thank you so much, hyung.” Jimin thanked Jin. Jin patted Jimin’s head and decided to leave, because Tae might be waiting for him now in their room, pouting.

As soon as the door closed, Jimin diverted his attention to the box in his hand. Really? Jungkook did that for me? Jimin thought, feeling guilty for the bad treatment he’s given Jungkook after he found out about his miserable past. He took a deep breath, and opened the box. He almost broke down again when he saw all the notes that caused him so much pain in the past days. He carefully took one out of the box and read it.

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Today, something changed in me, and I think it will be for the better. I really think the nightmare I had earlier in the morning had something to do with this, but I also think that even though it was a nightmare, it had a positive effect on me. I don’t want to dream of losing Jimin-hyung again though…

Anyways, I really feel good right now. I think that this confidence that has taken over me will help me impress Jimin-hyung. And even though it’s taking some  time before I truly express what I was feeling for him, it think it will be worth it when it comes. Don’t worry, hyung, the Jungkook that you liked in the beginning has return, and is not going anywhere away from you.

-Your Jungkookie

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“But where are you now? Now that I realized I still love you, where are you? You said you’re not going anywhere away from me. But why did you leave?” Jimin asked, wishing that his words would reach Jungkook’s ears. It’s just the first note, and he’s getting too emotional already. But it wasn’t enough. He put the note back to the box and picked another one with Jungkook’s hand writing on it.

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Today, the show started. Jimin and I are going to act like we are together, at least in front of Tae-hyung and Jin-hyung. Though it’s sad that this is all just for show, I am still going to enjoy every moment of it. I’ll take this as an opportunity to show my love for my Chim-Chim. And yes, that’s our endearment. I call him Chim-Chim, while he calls me Kookie.

I am really happy to have this day with him as his boyfriend, even though it’s all an act.

And I am looking forward to the day that all of this will be true.

Jungkookie <3

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Jimin couldn’t help but blush upon reading the note. Back during the moments where they were just acting like in a relationship, Jimin could feel love from Jungkook.  He thought it was wrong, because there was no way Jungkook would love him like that. It all felt too real to Jimin, and he fell for it. But back then, it never crossed his mind that he wasn’t the only one falling.

“I am too, Kookie. I really want everything to be true.” Jimin muttered under his unstable breath. Sobs threatened to escape his lips as he pulled out another note from the box.

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I am so happy today!!!

Except for the success of the show, Chim-Chim and I are going to give our relationship a shot. We are going to get to know each other much better. I get to spend more time with him. I am just so happy! I don’t even know what to say!

I hope this time, it will all be better. This is not acting anymore… this is all for real. I am just so happy. Chim-Chim, thanks for giving me a chance. I’m not gonna let you down.

Jungkookie <3

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Jimin was touched by the note. He never thought Jungkook would love him, until that day, when Jungkook confessed to him. He never let Jimin down – it was Jimin who pulled the two of them down, and the guilt is weighing down on him. He knew he shouldn’t be blaming himself for what has become of their relationship, but who else is to blame? Who is in fault, when all that Jungkook tried to do was love him?

Jimin felt his eyes become too heavy to keep open. He doesn’t know if it was the sleepiness that’s taking over, or his tears that became too much that they’re beginning to make his eyes heavy. But either reason, he put the note down and after wishing Jungkook a good night fell asleep with the box of notes beside him.

Jimin wished that at least in his sleep, he will see Jungkook again. That he would see himself in a paradise with him.

But Jimin found himself drifting to somewhere familiar. The next thing he knew, he was in the dance studio, alone.

“What the ? Why am I here?” Jimin asked to no one in particular. For god’s sake, he was alone in the room. Then, the door clicked open, making him turn to face the direction where the sound came from. He was surprised to see Jungkook.

“Jungkook? W-what’s happening?” Jimin asked the Jungkook, but it doesn’t seem to see, hear, of feel him. The Jungkook in his dreams was crying, and breathing hard. He paced the room back and forth in panic.

“What’s happening? Is that really his hat? What happened to him? Where is he?” The Jungkook asked as he paced back and forth repeatedly. “Probably he is with Tae-hyung and Jin-hyung now. But, what about the wound? Where is that guy?”

Jimin was dumb-founded by what he was witnessing. When is this? Is this… during the accident? Jimin asked himself as he saw Jungkook pick his phone up and answered it.

“H-hello? Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook asked. He was stuttering and shaking because of his endless crying. Jimin watched as Jungkook’s eyes widened with whatever he heard through the phone, and left in a hurry.

“Now you know how much Jungkook cares about you.” Jimin heard another voice. He recognized it immediately. It was his OWN voice. He turned to the mirror-covered wall and saw his image there.

“I told you before, and this is the last time I will say it.” The image spoke again. “Now, you’re complete. What happens next, it all depends on you.” His reflection said as he Jimin woke up alone in his bed, sheets wet from his tears. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was a note from the box. Apparently, while he was asleep, he moved too much the he kicked the box to the floor, making all notes spill, but one remained in his bed.

Jimin picked the note, and with sleepy eyes, he read it.

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Today, I got a lot of time to be with the person I love… Chim-Chim, Jimin, Chim… whatever name. But I am starting to get worried and sad. I can’t keep going like this… drowning myself in a love that I don’t even know if he would give to me if he knew everything. He told me earlier today that love is something absolute… that if it is real, then nothing could come in its way… I know it is absolute… but I don’t know if it could stand a chance against our past. Because even though I did this to keep you from hurting, I know it will end up with you getting hurt even more.

Chim…I don’t know if you’ll ever read this when you find out… but please… I want you to know that I really love you… And I didn’t mean to hurt you.

-Jungkookie <3

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Jimin couldn’t hold it back anymore. The whole time, he was saying that Jungkook hurt him – that Jungkook was using his condition to make it up to him, because he was guilt ridden. But now, he knows that Jungkook never wanted to hurt him in the first place. He knows that all that Jungkook wanted to do was to protect him from his dramatic past, and that Jungkook was feeling guilty about hiding it. When Jungkook explained it all to him in the cliff, he still didn’t fully believe it, because a part of him was thinking that Jungkook only felt the guilt when Jimin found out. But now, this note was written before Jimin remembered everything, and even before that, Jungkook already felt the pain that was tearing his heart. Jimin felt everything bad he said to Jungkook backfire to him.

No… I can’t lose him. Jimin decided, and stood up to pick his phone. 3:00 am.

He hurriedly showered and dressed. After slipping into his shoes, Jimin rushed out of the room, to be greeted by a sleepy Jin.

“Yah… Jimin, where are you going? Too early to jog…” Jin asked. He went out to get a glass of water for himself.

“I’m going after Jungkook. I’ll try to stop him.” Jimin answered. Jin’s lips pulled up to a smile.

“I knew you would do that. Now go.” Jin said to Jimin. Jimin smiled back and nodded before rushing out to ride the first bus that he saw that was heading to Busan.

***

“Goodbye umma. Thanks. See you in three months.” Jungkook bid his mother goodbye.

“Ok son… and please, take care of yourself ok? I know that you said you don’t want anyone to call you or text you out there and I won’t. But it won’t hurt to at least tell me you’re ok once in a while, right?” his mother answered. Jungkook smiled and nodded, before giving his mom a farewell hug. When they parted, Jungkook faced the road and pulled his hoodie and wore his shades. After a deep breath, he walked to the streets and rode a cab to the airport.

His mother was busy cleaning Jungkook’s room, changing the sheets, and getting everything in order again when she heard the doorbell ring. “What? That forgetful kid, really.” Jungkook’s mother ranted as she went to open the door. “What did you forget this ti – oh! Jimin-ssi! Good morning!” Jungkook’s mother was shocked to see Jimin standing in front of their door.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jeon.” Jimin greeted politely as he bowed down as low as appropriate. “Is Jungkook here?”

“Oh… he just left the house about ten minutes ago. He was already headed to the airport. His flight is at 7:00, but he should board the plane earlier, right?” Jungkook’s mother answered. “Come insi – “

“Thanks, Mrs. Jeon!” Jimin bowed again as he bolted to the streets and called a nearby cab.

“Wow… I like that kid.” Mrs. Jeon smiled as she closed the door and went back to work.

Jungkook… don’t go yet… I need you. Jimin thought as he tapped his feet inside the cab. “Uhmm… sir, can you please speed up a bit? I have someone to catch before a flight.” Jimin kindly asked the driver. In response, the driver kicked the gas pedal, making Jimin fall back to his seat. “Oh… thanks.”

Once they reached the airport, Jimin threw the door open and tossed bills to the driver, not caring about the change. He ran to the airport, and looked around. Oh my god I should’ve asked Mrs. Jeon what he’s wearing. Jimin scold himself as he continued to run and look around, looking for a particular tall, handsome man he wanted to see so bad. He kept running until he ran until he ran out of breath.

Jimin… think. Jungkook doesn’t want to get spotted by people… so he should be wearing a lot of things right now. Maybe a hoodie, and shades. And of course, his red and black suitcase. Jimin thought as he ran again to look for a man wearing a hoodie and shades, with red and black suitcase. He mentally cursed his lack of height, because he couldn’t see too far into the crowd.

“7:00 flight, please you may board the plane now.” The pager announced through the loud speakers. … Jimin ran again to where the passengers might be going to. He pushed his way through the dense crowd. He stopped, and tried to catch his breath. He almost lost hope of finding Jungkook, until he heard a loud sneeze. Only Jungkook could pull off a sneeze that loud. Jimin thought as he looked up, and saw a man rubbing his nose, dragging a large red and black suitcase with him. Jimin smiled, and rushed to his love. “Jungkook!”

The man turned around and his eyes widened. “H-hyung?”

“YAH! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!” Jimin ranted to Jungkook. Jungkook stood there, dumb-founded, shocked that he was actually seeing Jimin in front of him.

“Hyung, w-why are you here?” Jungkook asked.

“You idiot! You told me you love me, and now you’re going to leave me?” Jimin answered. “You told me you will not hurt me again. What do you think did I feel when I found out you are going to leave me?” Jimin blurted out. “Jungkook, I love you, and I can’t live without you. I don’t want to lose you. If you only saw what was happening to me in the house… Jungkook I don’t know how to live without you.” Jimin blurted out, not caring anymore if there are people around them right now.

“H-Hyung… I didn’t mean to do that. I just thought that maybe, after everything that happened, we should take a break from everything. I thought that we could use some time apart to analyze our feelings.” Jungkook explained to Jimin.

“But a day was enough for me to realize how I feel for you. Jungkook… when manager-nim told us that you are leaving for US, I thought I will die right there, on the spot. Jungkook… please, don’t go. Don’t leave us. Don’t leave me.” Jimin begged. Jungkook’s tears fell to the tiled floor of the airport.

“Hyung, I know that we love each other. But we loved each other for a long time, and yet, we hurt each other. Hyung, we need this. We need time.” Jungkook said. “I’m sorry, hyung, but we have to do this. Time is what we need.” Jungkook said as he hugged Jimin and gave him a last kiss before leaving. “Chim, I love you.”

“I love you too, Kookie.” Jimin said weakly as he watched Jungkook walked away. Jimin turned, and walked back to the entrance. He felt empty. It’s like when Jungkook left him, he left carrying Jimin’s heart with him. And just like what he did for the past few days, all that Jimin could do is cry. While he walked to the streets, he just cried. He was crying when he boarded the bus back to Seoul. The whole three-hour trip, he was just looking at the sky above him, crying. Every time an airplane passed by, his chest felt more and more empty. It’s like it was being eaten away by sadness. He kept crying, that by the time he step down from the bus and entered the house, he thought his tears were no longer clear, but mixed with blood. The other members were at the living room, and when they heard Jimin enter the house, they stood up. They didn’t need to ask what happened – the burdened face that Jimin was wearing gave it away. All they could do is approach him, and give him their warmest hug.

“I wasn’t able to stop him.” Jimin sobbed. “I failed!” he continued as he let out another stream of tears. Never in his life did he think that a person could have tear up this much. It’s like if he collected his tears from the day he recalled his past, he could already fill a gallon with it.

“It’s ok, Jimin. At least you tried.” Jin said as he continued to comfort the younger. They assisted Jimin to his room and tucked him to the sheets.

Jimin hugged his pillow tightly, still crying. He was tired. So tired because of waking up so early and riding the bus a total of six hours, and running around the airport to look for Jungkook. And after all the effort, he still wasn’t able to keep Jungkook from leaving. Maybe he was right. Maybe they need time. But Jimin doesn’t how much time he could live without Jungkook. Jimin closed his eyes, and didn’t have enough strength to turn around when he heard his door creak open. He just felt the bed creak and the sheets shuffle as the person climbed into bed with him. He felt arms slide around him, as the person gave him a back hug.

“He told me we need time apart. I don’t know for how long I am going to be able to survive without him.” Jimin said as he gave in to the comforting, warm hug. There was something very comforting about the hug. It was different from Tae’s hug, and from Jin’s. But he was too tired to think about it now, until he felt his shoulder being wet by something.

“You don’t have to know anymore.” He answered. Jimin’s eyes flung open when he heard the all too familiar voice. The voice he’s been missing so much.

“J-Jungkook?” Jimin asked as unwrapped the arms around him and turned to face the person. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the handsome man he’s been craving for this whole time. “Jungkook!” Jimin said as he wrapped his buffed arms around Jungkook, who was giggling the whole time Jimin was trying to sniff his smell.

“Why? You returned? I thought you – “ Jimin bombarded Jungkook with questions, but Jungkook held his finger and put in on Jimin’s lips and pulled him in to his chest.

“Shush… We can talk about that later. I know you’re tired. Just sleep.” Jungkook said, as Jimin smiled and hugged Jungkook tighter.

“I love you Kookie.” Jimin said as he closed his eyes.

“I love you too.” Jungkook answered. Jimin slept with a wide smile plastered on his face.

A few hours later, Jimin woke up hugging a pillow. “Jungkook?” he asked while rubbing his eyes to see clearly. When he opened them back up, he looked around.

He was alone.

Jimin’s eyes released another slow, but steady stream of tears. It was all just a dream. Jimin said to himself, as he physically slapped his cheeks to scold himself. Jungkook left. Accept that. Jimin convinced himself. But he found it hard to do so. There was something about earlier that was very real. He really felt Jungkook was there, but now, he wasn’t, and it’s killing Jimin.

Jimin slowly stood up and headed to his door and opened it. The other members were happily chatting in the living room.

“What’s with today? You guys seem happy.” Jimin asked weakly. The other members stopped their chatting and looked at Jimin.

“Why? Aren’t you?” Tae asked and gave Jimin a rectangular smile. … I’m still asleep.

“Oh, Jimin, by the way, were already done eating lunch. Jungkook went to the kitchen to cook another meal for you.” Jin said to Jimin and returned to chatting with the other members. Jimin just stood there, shocked. He slowly made his way to the dining room and heard the clattering of utensils. And there he was.

“J-Jungkook?” Jimin asked. Jungkook looked up and gave Jimin a smile.

“Did you have a good sleep, Chim?” Jungkook asked as he pulled Jimin’s chair and motioned for Jimin to take his seat.

“, Jimin, wake up… you’re dreaming again… .” Jimin said loudly. Jungkook went closer and smiled to Jimin. Jimin was about to make a run for it but Jungkook was quick to peck Jimin on the lips.

“No, you’re not dreaming. So take a seat before I eat everything.” Jungkook playfully warned Jimin as he pulled his hyung to the dining table. Jungkook took his seat beside Jimin and took his bowl.

“Chim, I missed doing this for you.” Jungkook said as he filled Jimin’s bowl with food. Jimin just watched, still not believing that everything is true.

“I missed you so much, Kookie.” Jimin said as he hugged Jungkook, making the soup spill to the table. Jungkook shouted and released the bowl.

“Yah! Chim! Look at what you’ve done!” Jungkook said as he tried to stand up to get the napkins to wipe the table. He couldn’t do so, because Jimin was clinging on him so tightly. “Yah! Hyung!”

“Sorry.” Jimin said as he released Jungkook and followed him to the counter, and back to the table. He followed Jungkook everywhere he went. Then, when the table was clean again, Jungkook picked Jimin’s bowl up and started filling it again. Jimin happily took Jungkook’s bowl and filled it with food too.

They ate peacefully and quietly. Jimin wanted to ask Jungkook why he went back, but he took his time, absorbing the fact that Jungkook returned for him. They just stared at each other while eating, making faces, and giggling when they found the other funny. After eating, they washed the utensils together, and then went to the porch.

“Kookie, is this true? Tell me it’s true, please.” Jimin asked. Jungkook looked at him and smiled.

“Do I have to kiss you again to make you believe it is true?” Jungkook chuckled. Jimin felt relieved. This is so Jungkook.

“But you said we need time apart. You said that we had to do that.” Jimin said to Jungkook. Jungkook went closer and held Jimin’s hand.

“I thought so. But just before I stepped into the plane, I felt something in my heart. Something was pulling me back. And no matter how hard I tried to convince myself, I couldn’t take one more step away from you.” Jungkook explained. “And then, I knew that I couldn’t live without you. I thought I could, but no. Being away from you proved to be the hardest thing to do. Jimin-hyung, Chim-Chim, I love you. I love you so much. And being away from you kills me” He continued. Jimin pulled his hand away, and used it to wipe his tears from his cheeks.

“And you know what, I had a damn hard time convincing the other members that they should not make a noise and freak out when I got here. Especially Tae-hyung, he kept on jumping up and down and Jin-hyung had to cover his mouth.” Jungkook chuckled. Jimin stopped crying and smiled at Jungkook.

“I thought I will die missing you. Don’t do that again, ok?” Jimin said to Jungkook. Jungkook just smiled and pulled Jimin for a kiss.

“Ok…” Jungkook breathe in between their kisses as he held Jimin’s neck to deepen the kiss. “I love you.” Jimin responded ‘I love you more’, Jungkook’s lips with his tongue, trying to take in Jungkook’s taste. They kissed like that – slowly, but full of passion and love that they’ve been struggling to express since the day they knew they loved each other. And for the first time, they both felt right. Everything was just so perfect – the wind rushing around them, with the each other’s lips moving together in perfect sync. And for that moment, they lost all resistance, making every moment last for as long as they could, feeling all the love the other could offer, making up for all the lost time that they spent mourning over what has come to pass. They didn’t care if people from below the porch see them. All they know is that finally, after all the hard times, broken hearts and rivers of tears; they made it to this moment, now it’s them against the world.

But of course, someone did care.

“YAH!!! GET A ROOM!” Tae shouted as he covered his eyes, while riding Jin’s back. Jin just laughed and slapped Tae’s knee.

“TaeTae, as if we don’t do that, huh?” Jin asked playfully, making Tae blush hard and hide his face behind Jin’s head.

“Yah… Jinnie I hate you!” Tae said to Jin. Jin just laughed.

“I love you too.” He said. Jimin and Jungkook looked at the two and smiled.

“Ok then. Kookie, Tae said let’s get a room.” Jimin smirked. Jungkook blushed as he felt himself being dragged by Jimin to their room.

And Jimin was right. True love is absolute – that nothing could come in its way. Not the accident. Not the past.

And not the turning tables.

***** The End *****

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At last!!! This story is over. I told you, I’m not a fan of bad endings… heheh… sorry if you didn’t like the ending though…T.T

I love you guys!!!

Follow me at twitter: @_JiminieGotJams

Yeah!!! Fighting!!!

Thanks for subscribing, or even just reading without subscribing. And like what I said a while ago, MAYBE I’ll be doing an epilogue and a bonus chapter. So stay tuned!!!

THANKS FOR READING “TURNING TABLES”!!!