Jimin’s eyes darted from the toothpaste on my toes to the panicked expression on my face. I don’t think he knew what to deal with first.

“Let’s just…let’s just, uh, relax.” He said, his voice a little shaky. “We don’t know anything for sure.”

He grabbed a facecloth and wet it using the bathtub faucet. I think he was afraid to move me to get to the sink. I just stood there, shocked.

“Here, baby, let me get the toothpaste off your foot.” Jimin bent down and cleaned in between my toes.

“Jimin.” I said, my voice croaking. “I’m not ready to be a mom.”

He threw the facecloth aside and straightened up. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll figure it out, hmm? Let’s just wait a few days.” He kissed my hair and patted my arm soothingly.

“Do you know what being pregnant means?” I asked him, a desperate edge to my voice. “It means having a thing growing inside my uterus for nine months! And then pushing it out! Of my body! And then feeding it! And it has to sleep and we can’t break it! Not even accidentally! And then it’s gonna grow up and it’s gonna be a sassmouth cause I was a sassmouth and you’re just shameless, like , Jimin, how can you make jokes in front of your father? And it’s gonna be too handsome because you’re too damn gorgeous and it’ll probably get girls pregnant just like its stupid father. And then it’s carpools and sports and what if it wants to be an idol like you? I’ll never get to see it! And then I’ll have to help it with its homework! I can’t do math, Jimin! I can’t even add without using my fingers!” I looked up at him, freaking out.

“I like math.” Jimin whispered, still patting my arm. I think it had just become automatic for him because his expression was a little shell-shocked. “What the ; why are you so bad at taking medicine?” He demanded, raising his voice. “Do I really still need to remind you to take your birth control? Are you a child? , you can’t even feed yourself! How are we supposed to take care of a kid? , don’t be pregnant. Don’t make me a daddy yet. I have a hard enough time keeping you alive.”

“Oh my gosh, daddy, that’s too cute.” I moaned, throwing my arms around him. “I want my babies to call you daddy.”

“I know I talk about wanting babies, but I am not ready for that level of responsibility yet.” Jimin said, wrapping his arms around me. “I don’t even know how to change a diaper.”

“We’re not even married yet.” I whispered into his chest.

“It’s okay, baby. We’ll figure it out. We can get married.” Jimin patted my back. Did he only know how to pat in this situation? “, my dad is going to kill me. And my manager. Oh my gosh, I’m dead. I’m seriously dead.”

“I didn’t want to get married like this.” I buried my face in his shirt, a few tears leaking out. “I wanted to wait for like three or four years before having kids. I wanted to have fun being married to you. Just chilling and hanging out and having whenever we feel like it.”

“You’ve thought that much about it? , that makes me so happy despite all this panic I’m feeling.” Jimin kissed my hair. “It’ll be okay, baby. We’ll figure it out.”

“I’m just scared.” I whispered. “I’m really, really scared.”

“, me too. I’m terrified.” Jimin held me tightly to him.

“I wanna lay down.” I told him. “My stomach still hurts.”

“Rinse out your mouth first. You’re getting toothpaste all over my shirt.” Jimin pulled away and swiped at the mess.

“Gross.” I muttered half-heartedly. I went over to the sink and cleaned up while Jimin patted my back.

“I love you.” He told me softly.

“I love you, too, Jimin.” I finished rinsing and stood up to face him. “No matter what happens, I love you, okay?”

“Okay.” Jimin whispered. He gently scooped me up into his arms and carried me back to bed.

He laid me down and climbed in next to me.

“Honey, don’t you have to go to work?” I asked as he cuddled against me.

“No, my day off is today. You’re the one who has to work today.” Jimin murmured as he bent down and kissed my shoulder.

“I’m not going. I feel awful. Can you text your mom for me?”

“What should I tell her?” Jimin asked, letting go of me and searching for his phone in the sheets.

“I don’t know. Tell her a grandchild is on the way.” I muttered. “I’m sure she would love that.”

“Yeah.” Jimin agreed quietly, shooting a quick text to his mom and putting his phone away. “She keeps hinting at us getting married and how she can’t wait to be a grandmother. My dad, too. He’s always so stern. ‘Jimin, get serious about your life. You can’t just continue to treat that girl this way.’”

“What way?” I demanded. “You’re an angel.”

“He wants me to make an honest woman out of you.” Jimin grumbled, playing with my hair. “By the way, did you tell your parents that we’re back together?”

“Yeah.” I said softly, unwilling to discuss this subject.

“How did they react?” Jimin asked timidly.

“Oh, you know.” I said lightly. “They don’t approve.”

“Why do they hate me?” Jimin whispered, still playing with my hair.

“They don’t hate you. They’re just very conservative.” I turned to face him. “It’s not about you, Jimin.” I took his face in my hands. He peeked up at me from underneath his eyelashes. “My sisters are happy for us, though.”

“What about your brother?” Jimin kissed my nose.

“He hates you. For sure, he hates you.” I giggled. “You stole his precious little sister away.”

“Okay, but he has three other little sister and he doesn’t hate any of their significant others.” Jimin argued, irritated. “Also, I am so good to your nephew. Shouldn’t that earn me brownie points?”

“Yes, my sister-in-law loves you. She’s always asking after you. ‘Oh, how’s Jimin? When are you guys coming to visit again?’” I rolled my eyes. “You’re such a charmer.”

Jimin smirked. “It’s why you fell for me in the first place, baby.” He tried to give me a y look, but I just laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s hope our child isn’t as greasy as you are.” I closed my eyes as Jimin tilted forward to kiss me.

“Will your parents disown you if you’re pregnant?” Jimin asked quietly after a few minutes of kissing.

“No. They’re too obsessed with grandchildren.” I reassured him, his cheek. “But…they won’t be happy. They’re never happy with me though, let’s be honest.”

“You rebel child.” Jimin tweaked my nose. “Abandoning your teaching career for an unstable job as a writer. Shacking up with a pretty boy. Getting pregnant out of wedlock. Whatever will we do with you?”

“I might not even be pregnant.” I said softly. “I could just be sick or something. Maybe I ate something bad.”

“Then why is your period late?” Jimin pointed out.

“That’s true. It could just be because I messed up my birth control.” I said thoughtfully. “I don’t know. It’s not like most people get pregnant right away after stopping birth control.”

“Didn’t your gynecologist say you’re like excessively fertile? Isn’t that why I had to ing make a schedule for you so you would take the damn pills? And make sure you ate with them?” Jimin demanded, growing heated. “Why are you so irresponsible? Is it so hard to take a pill? Do I really need to do every little thing for you? You’re like a child.”

“Hey!” I cried, offended. “Why are you so ? Huh? If you weren’t trying to sleep with me all of the time, this wouldn’t even be an issue!”

“Oh, please.” Jimin scoffed. “Don’t even pretend like you’re not all about it. You’ve been coming on to me more than I have to you recently.”

He let go of me and rolled over onto his back. “What are we going to do if you really are pregnant?” He asked quietly, staring at the ceiling.

“I don’t know.” I murmured, snuggling up to him. He slung an arm around me. “Everything’s going to change.”

“Yeah, I’ll have two kids to take care of instead of just one.” Jimin muttered.

“Shut the up, Jimin. It’s not like you’re this super responsible adult either.” I snapped, feeling ruffled.

“You can’t even feed yourself. How are you going to feed a baby?” Jimin retorted.

“I’m amazing with babies.” I informed him. “I’m going to be a wonderful mother.”

“Sure.” Jimin laughed. “You can’t even get out of bed in the morning. Are you really going to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?”

“You’re acting pretty smug for someone who can't even change a diaper.” I pointed out sullenly. “Have you ever even held a baby before?”

Jimin fell silent, thinking.

“Yeah.” He said finally. “My cousin had a baby last year. I held her. She was really tiny and beautiful. When she curled her hand around my finger, I fell in love.”

“Oh, I remember that.” I said softly. “You had the sweetest look on your face. I remember thinking that you’d be a good dad.”

“I want to be a good dad.” Jimin whispered, turning to me. “Hey, turn around. Lie on your back for a second.”

“Why?” I asked, looking at him warily.

“Just do it.” Jimin told me. I did as he asked, still a bit hesitant. I just never knew with Jimin.

He pulled up my shirt so my stomach was revealed. He kissed it tenderly.

“Hey.” He said, talking to my stomach. “Hey, baby. I’m your daddy.”

I reached down and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m gonna cry.” I informed him. “You’re being so sweet. I might not even be pregnant.”

“Shh.” He glanced over at me. “It can hear you.”

“At least let me take a pregnancy test before you start getting attached.” I whispered, sitting up. Jimin sat up too and I climbed into his lap.

“Would you be sad if I wasn’t pregnant?” I asked him softly, leaning against his shoulder.

“I don’t know.” He whispered. “I know we’re not ready to become parents, but I really want to have a family with you.”

“Me too.” I kissed his cheek. “I wanna have a family with you, too.”

“Soon as I saw you, baby, I had plans.” Jimin sang to me. “Plans to do it till we have a baby, even if the world is crazy. Pick some names, boy or girl. Then we’ll change, change the world.”

“Mmm.” I sighed contentedly. “I love when you sing John Legend to me.”

“It’s the beginning of forever.” Jimin continued singing as he picked me up off his lap and laid me down on the bed. “You don’t have to go; sometimes you just know.” He laid down on top of me and sang into my neck. “It’s the beginning of forever. We don’t have to end. Keep doing it, and doing it again.”

“You’re heavy.” I told him, his hair as he kissed my neck.

“I’m perfect.” Jimin whispered, kissing my throat.

“Yeah.” I agreed in a quiet voice. “You are. But let me sleep, honey. I’m so tired.” I yawned hugely.

Jimin lifted up his head to look at me. “Are you feeling okay?”

I shook my head. “Not really.”

“Do you need me to get you something from the store? Crackers? Ginger tea?” Jimin’s voice was full of concern.

“Maybe a pregnancy test.” I whispered. “I’ve heard they have ones that are so accurate you can tell really early.”

“Okay.” Jimin said softly, a small smile on his lips. “I can get that for you.”

He kissed me once, so sweetly and tenderly that I thought I would melt, before climbing off of me and changing into a pair of jeans.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Jimin blew me a kiss as he walked out of my bedroom.

I sighed as I heard the front door click and snuggled into the blankets. Was I really pregnant? Were we really going to have a baby?

I closed my eyes and imagined what our lives would look like if we had a baby. I pictured us in a little apartment in Seoul. Two bedrooms: one for us and one for the baby. We’d argue over how to put the crib together and what color to paint the walls. Jimin had told me once that he’d always wanted a daughter. I wondered what Jimin would be like as a dad. Probably amazing; he was so sweet and gentle towards me. I could only imagine that he’d be like that towards our baby.

I loved babies. Their delicious baby smell, their little hands that wrapped around your finger, the way they fell asleep in your arms. When my first nephew was born, I spent a lot of time babysitting him, just the two of us. I’d get cozy on the couch with him in my arms and we’d just cuddle for hours. You’d think it would get boring, but I just loved looking into his big, wondering eyes. He was grown now, six years old, but I still remembered those special times when it was just the two of us, snuggled up on the couch.

I pressed a hand to my stomach. “Hi, baby.” I whispered. “I’m your mom.”