“Hey, c’mon, we’re going to be late!” Jimin poked his head in our bedroom door. I could see he was having a hard time trying to tie his tie. “Can you help me with this?” He walked over to the bed, where I was sitting and struggling to put on pantyhose. Yukon lay next to me, lazily regarding the two of us through sleepy eyes.

I looked up at Jimin. “Yeah, give me one sec. I don’t know why, but pantyhose are way more difficult to put on than tights. Oh – oh, my gosh!” In the midst of my fight with the pantyhose, I fell on my back with my legs sticking straight up into the air.

Jimin snickered. “That’s a good angle for you. Very attractive.”

I flushed. “Well, you can just tie your own damn tie.”

“No, no! Baby, please help me," he pleaded as he helped me to my feet. “Here, I’ll help you put these pantyhose on. Hold your dress up.”

“No, thank you,” I replied stiffly. “Please let me put on my pantyhose in peace. I’ll help you with your tie in a minute.”

Jimin sat on the bed, petting Yukon and watching me as I finally completed the difficult task.

“You look very pretty in that dress. I like you in red.” His gaze lingered on me for a while.

“Thanks,” I said, smoothing out the skirt self-consciously. “Give me your tie.”

Jimin handed it to me and I knelt in front of him, our faces inches apart. I leaned in to loop it around his collar and he turned his head and planted soft kisses on my neck.

“You smell amazing," he said softly. “Did you shower for once, or what?” He dragged his lips down my neck and kissed his way along my shoulder.

“Haha, very funny,” I murmured. I finally succeeded in looping his tie around, despite Jimin’s distractions. “Okay,” I said, leaning back to survey my work and catching Jimin by surprise. He was in the middle of kissing my arm and looked a bit put off by the interruption.

“You’re very good at this," Jimin commented as I expertly knotted his tie and clipped it with a little shamrock tie pin. “Why are you so good at this?”

“Well,” I began, adjusting Jimin’s collar, “When I was little, my dad always wore a tie to work. My mom used to help him with it, but one day I insisted on doing it for him. So after that, I always tied my dad’s tie before he went to work. There.” I let out a sigh of satisfaction. “You look great.”

Jimin smiled at me affectionately. “That’s so sweet.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “But why didn’t your dad ever learn to tie his own tie?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “I could ask you the same question.”

Jimin grinned sheepishly.

I straightened up and sighed. “All right, it’s almost time to go. Ready to get wedding number one done? Jeez, why are all of my friends getting married in one year? It’s freaking expensive.”

I held out my hands to Jimin to help pull him up, but he grabbed them and pulled me down into his lap. He kissed me gently, then rested his forehead against mine, as was his habit.

“You know,” Jimin whispered softly, tracing my jaw with his index finger. “That could be us someday.”

“What could be us?” I asked, holding his hand and pressing it against my cheek.

“You know,” he said, “Getting married. We could do that one day.” He leaned in and kissed me sweetly on the lips. He bent down and nuzzled my neck, making small humming noises in the back of his throat.

“What? Are you serious?” I couldn’t keep the shock out of my voice. I pushed Jimin away so I could think clearly without him kissing me all over my neck.

Jimin looked at me, taken aback. “Why are you so shocked? Have you really never thought about marrying me before?”

I just blinked at him. “I-I mean,” I stuttered, “Sure, I’ve thought about it. But we’re so young, and you’re always away on tour.”

“Not always,” Jimin argued. “C’mon, think about it. Don’t you wanna be married? Don’t you wanna be Mrs. Park?”

“Okay,” I held up a hand, “First off, I’m keeping my family name. Second, Jimin, what the hell? We are not even financially stable yet. I am not ready to shell out at least 10 grand for a wedding.”

Jimin scowled at me. “You’re keeping your family name?”

“Yeah, I am. Do you have a problem with that?” I challenged him. I had a hard time taking this conversation seriously. How could he bring up marriage so casually?

“I just don’t understand why you don’t want to take my name and become a family together,” Jimin said quietly in a hurt voice. Freaking…how was I supposed to respond to that?

“You could take my family name,” I suggested. Jimin snorted.

“Babe, no offense, but I’m famous. People are not gonna know who I am if I take your family name.”

I sighed and moved to get up off his lap. “Listen, let’s not have this conversation now. We're in a rush and this is a serious conversation that I feel like you're not taking very seriously.”

Before I could stand, Jimin’s annoyingly muscular arms wrapped around my waist and held me close to him. My back was pressed against his chest and I could feel his breath as he leaned down to leave a trail of kisses up my spine.

“I’m sorry," he whispered in between placing kisses down the side of my neck.

“Man, you are just really obsessed with my neck today,” I said softly, feeling myself melt.

Jimin left one last lingering kiss on my shoulder. He rested his head against mine and whispered into my hair. “I just really wanna be with you forever.” His tone was so vulnerable. I could feel my heart contracting in pain.

“I know, baby,” I said quietly. “Me too. But I just don't feel like it's time to talk about marriage yet. I’m really happy with the way things are. Aren’t you?”

“Not really!” Jimin answered, annoyed.

“Jimin, what the hell? You’re not happy being with me?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that I feel like you’re not really happy to be with me. Like you won’t even tell me you love me unless it’s late at night or just after we slept together or if I ask you to. Should I have to ask you to tell me you love me?”

His words struck a nerve with me. Jimin had been like this ever since the very beginning of our relationship. A little insecure, a little needy, and very blind to the way that I showed my affection. I wrenched his hands apart and stood up. He watched me warily as I turned to face him, the anger slowly building inside of me.

"Jimin, you know I'm not suddenly going to turn into an affectionate person just because you want me to be. You know I love you; why do I have to say it a million times? We’ve had this argument time and time again! I just don't know what you want from me! I love you, Jimin! I really, really love you. You should know it even if I don't say it every other second," I added waspishly.

He jumped up from the bed and faced me angrily. “If you love me, then why don’t you wanna marry me? Why are you always like this when we talk about our future? We’re already living together; we’re already acting like husband and wife. What’s the difference if we make it official?”

“Are we seriously talking about marriage right now? Were you proposing? Because that was a really ty proposal." I glared at him for a moment before continuing. "And I already told you the reasons! We can’t afford it! You’re away two weeks out of the month and when you’re not on tour you’re in the studio. What kind of married life is that? We live together so we can ing see each other sometimes. You know that!”

“Are you sure it’s not because you’re afraid of committing to me for real?” Jimin shot back. “You’re so rarely honest about your feelings. I never know what you’re thinking!”

“Are you ing kidding me?” I exclaimed. “That’s bull and you know it. I already told you going into this relationship that I wanted to date for at least three or four years before getting married.”

“Yeah, but why? Why do you want to wait so long if you love me?” Jimin’s eyes were flashing in fury. I had never seen him this angry before.

“What’s wrong with dating?” I argued, avoiding the question. “Why do you want to get married so badly? Like you said, we’re already living together, so why do we have to make it official?”

“That’s not what I’m asking you! I’m asking you to tell me why you don’t want to marry me. Give me a reason. A real reason," he interjected, seeing me open my mouth to interrupt. “We make enough to live on and you know it. Our parents would be more than willing to help us out with the wedding expenses. People rarely get married when they’re ready. They get married because they want to, even if it’s foolish. Tell me the real reason you don’t want to marry me.”

I looked into his eyes for a long moment. Jimin’s eyes lost some of their anger and gained traces of vulnerability.

“Jimin…I’m just not ready. Isn’t that okay? Can’t we just wait for a while longer?” I pleaded. I reached down and held his hands in mine.

He drew one of mine to his lips and kissed my palm. “Baby, I just feel like you’re not sure about me.”

I stared at him for a long moment before replying. “So what?” I said simply. “So what if I’m not sure? Is that a crime? Am I not allowed to take my time to decide if I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Why are you trying to pressure me into this? Do you want a wife who’s not committed to you?”

“No, I don’t.” Jimin abruptly let go of my hands and loosened his necktie. “And I don’t want a girlfriend who’s not committed to me either.”

He brushed past me and strode out of the room silently.

I quickly ran after him and grabbed his arm. He turned to face me reluctantly.

Jimin rarely got upset with me like this. I didn’t know what to do.

“What did you mean by that last sentence?” I asked him quietly.

He let out a soft sigh. “Exactly what I said. I don’t want a girlfriend who’s not committed to me.”

“How am I not committed to you?” I asked desperately. “I’m here, aren’t I? I’m living together with you, I love you, and I want to be with you! What part of me is not committed?”

“You don’t trust me,” Jimin stated quietly. “It’s not about marriage. It’s about you. You’re so guarded. I feel like I have to constantly fight to earn your affections and everything is a battle to win your trust. I love you. I’m so dedicated to you, but you rarely acknowledge that. Why don’t you trust me? Have I ever done anything to deceive you? Have I proven myself to be untrustworthy? Why are you still like this, after all the time we've spent together?”

I just looked at him, unsure of how to respond.

“Is that how you really feel? Why have you never told me about this?" I tightened my grip on his arm before dropping my voice to a whisper. "Why are you acting like this now?”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

Jimin sighed. “I’m just…I’m just tired. I think we should take some time to think about each other.”

I stared at him, dreading his next words.

After a moment, Jimin removed my hand from his arm and planted a small kiss on my head.

“I think…Baby, I think we should break up.”