I woke up the next day to the sun hitting my face.

“Ugh…” I groaned, rolling over.  I rolled into something that definitely didn’t belong in my bed. My eyes flew open.

What the ? Was that a man in my bed? His back was to me so I couldn’t see his face.

I poked the stranger in the back. “Hey,” I hissed. “Who are you? Young Jae, is that you? Why are you in my bed? I told you, you're not allowed to sleep in here!”

The stranger groaned and rolled over to face me in his sleep.

“Jimin?” I whispered, mouth falling open in shock. What the was Jimin doing in my bed?

“Jimin,” I called again, louder this time. He slowly opened his eyes and yawned.

“Ugh…I’m so tired. Baby, what time is it?” He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“I-I don’t know.” I put a hand to the place he had just kissed. “W-What’s going on? Why are you sleeping in my bed?”

“What are you talking about? I live here.” Jimin stretched. Suddenly I saw a wave of understanding wash over his face. He sat bolt upright. “Oh . Oh , , .” He turned to me, panicked. “I honestly did not mean to fall asleep here.”

I sat up as well and rubbed my eyes. “I don’t even know what’s going on. Why are you still here?”

Jimin ran a hand through his hair, agitated. “You got drunk and needed help getting to bed.” 

“Why did you help me? Why didn’t Young Jae?” I squinted at him in confusion. What a strange situation to wake up to.

“Young Jae got an important phone call and had to leave suddenly. He asked me to take care of you.” Jimin looked at me earnestly. “Nothing happened between us, I swear.”

“Why would something have happened between us?” I asked, puzzled. Jimin wasn’t the type of person to take advantage of someone drunk.

“Do you remember anything from last night?” Jimin asked me quietly. He shyly looked up into my eyes.

“Um…we were watching a movie. I drank some beer…and I vaguely remember washing my face and putting on some pjs.” I looked down at myself. Why was I wearing Jimin’s clothes? Had I had that much to drink?

I looked up at Jimin. Disappointment flitted across his face for a moment, but was quickly replaced with a smile.

“Yup, I helped you do all of those things. Sorry for intruding. And sorry for sleeping in your bed.” He ruffled my hair.

“Why were you sleeping in my bed?” I asked. "Jimin, what is going on?"

“Umm…I guess I had a few too many drinks and ended up in here too.” Jimin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Are you mad?”

I pursed my lips. Park of me was pissed, and the other part was hungover and didn't feel like dealing with . I climbed out of bed, still groggy. “I’m going to go take a shower. Do you mind seeing yourself out?”

“Not at all,” Jimin replied. “I’ll see you at work later.”

I started to recover a little during my shower. What had just happened? Was that a dream? Did Jimin really just wake up in bed next to me?

I sighed. “Stupid er.”

What a strange morning. Jimin had really thought that he was still my boyfriend when he woke up this morning. And that kiss on the forehead? I had wanted to grab him and make out with him right then and there.

I did not need Jimin back in my life. I had finally come to a point where I felt ready to move on from him. And then there was Young Jae. Even though I made myself clear with my words, I definitely felt like I sent him mixed signals with my actions. Why did I let him be physically affectionate with me?

I knew the reason. I felt lonely. And when a handsome boy suddenly decided that he wanted to become my best friend and act like my boyfriend, how could I resist? I didn’t want to use Young Jae and I honestly enjoyed his company. Maybe I could date him. He told me he had the confidence to make me forget about Jimin. Maybe he could.

I didn’t want to get back together with Jimin. I couldn’t do it again. It had hurt too much the first time. It’s not like Jimin had said he wanted to get back together, but there had been so much tension between us yesterday. Like what the was up with him? Did I need to remind him again that we were broken up and he should keep his perfect thighs away from mine? And when he curled his finger around mine? Damn it. That was uncalled for.

I exhaled in annoyance as I turned off the faucet. this . I just wanted to continue living my life in peace.

I pulled back the shower curtain and grabbed a towel. As I dried off, I spied Jimin’s clothes in the corner. I couldn't believe he had used those as pajamas. How did he know where they were? Did I tell him about that?

I picked them up and gave them a sniff. They still smelled like him. I headed into my bedroom and safely zipped them up in Jimin’s backpack.

I groaned aloud and threw myself on my bed, still wrapped up in my towel. Everything had become such a mess. I rolled over onto Jimin’s side of the bed and buried my face in his pillow. It smelled like him again.

I felt the tears on my cheeks before I realized I was crying. How many nights had I spent longing to find Jimin lying next to me in bed when I woke up? How many nights had I snuggled into his pillow in the hopes that it would help me dream about him? How many nights had I spent alone and unfulfilled and wishing that I had never even met him because I couldn’t cope with the pain of losing him?

And now he was back in my life and in my bed. I had woken up next to him and he had kissed me and called me baby like nothing had ever changed between us and I hated him for it. I hated him for leaving me and I hated myself for loving him still.

I couldn’t go through it again.

After I had calmed down, I got dressed for work and checked the time. Damn. I wouldn’t have time to eat anything. It was probably for the best; my stomach was already in knots at the thought of seeing Jimin again so soon.

I headed into the living room, still wiping away some stray tears. Would I ever stop crying over that stupid boy?

“Are you okay?”

I jumped in fear. “What the ?” I looked around to find Jimin standing in the kitchen. He was wearing the damn Hello Kitty apron and scrambling eggs. Yukon munched happily on some food that I assumed Jimin had given him. My eyes filled with tears again.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded, fury spiking in me.

Jimin’s eyes widened in shock. “Uh, I just wanted to make you breakfast as an apology.”

“An apology for what?” I asked angrily. “For breaking up with me? For suddenly reappearing in my life? For ing sleeping in my bed and making everything smell like you again? , Jimin, you can’t be standing in my kitchen wearing that stupid apron like nothing has happened.”

I sank down to the floor. I suddenly felt exhausted and miserable. “You can’t just do these things. Do you know what I think of when I see that apron?” I looked up at him, tears in my eyes. “I think of every meal you ever made me. Every time we ever made out while you were cooking. Every single time I look at that damn apron with adorable Hello Kitty faces all over it I think about how you used to love me and now you don’t. You can’t just do these things so carelessly, Jimin. You can’t just wake up in my bed and kiss me and call me baby like you still love me.” I wept in frustration.

Jimin quickly turned off the stove, crossed the room, and sat down next to me. His face was so close to mine as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

“Jimin,” I said softly, my voice cracking. “Why are you doing these things?” A treacherous tear slowly trickled down my cheek. It hurt so much to be this close to him. It nearly killed me to have him touch me so tenderly.

“I miss you," he confessed. His voice was nothing more than a whisper as he stared intently into my eyes. “I miss you a lot.”

“But we’re broken up. You broke up with me.”

Jimin held my face in his hands. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and rested his forehead against mine.

“But we don’t have to be," he whispered. His warm breath caressed my face as he leaned in to kiss me.

His lips had barely grazed mine when I pushed him away. “No! No, I can’t do it again.”

I hid my face in my hands in a vain attempt to stop the tears. Jimin rubbed my back and whispered he loved me into my hair.

“I can’t do it again, Jimin. I had to start my life over when you left me. I can’t live through that again.” 

“I won’t leave again," he promised, kissing my forehead, my cheeks, the tip of my nose.

I looked up at him with tears streaming down my face. “I don’t believe you.”

He wrapped his arms around me, pulled me into his lap, and held me against his chest. He tenderly kissed my hair and I wept at how wonderful and awful it felt to be in his arms again.

“I’m so sorry,” Jimin murmured into my hair. “I’m so sorry, baby. What can I do to make you trust me again?”

I clung to him for a few more moments and tried to calm down. I took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Nothing. It’s over, Jimin. We’re over.”

He rested his chin on my head and released a shaky sigh.

“Please," he mumbled, voice catching. “I don’t want to live without you.”

“Jimin, please, stop,” I begged him through my tears. “I can’t do this right now. This hurts too much. You hurt too much.”

Jimin held me a little bit tighter. “I don’t want to let you go.”

I pushed against his chest as he began to kiss my hair again.

“Jimin…please, please. You’re just making this harder than it already is.”

Jimin reluctantly let go of me. I sat up and looked into his eyes and he stared back at me, face crumpled with sadness. I opened my mouth to speak, but he suddenly wrapped his arms around me and tucked his head into my shoulder.

“I love you," he whispered, brushing his lips against my neck. I shivered as he kissed his way up my neck.

“Jimin, stop. Please.”

He ignored me and continued his climb up to my jawline. I wept quietly into his shoulder; his kisses intermingled with my tears.

“Jimin.”  I lifted my head up from his shoulder and tried to push him away, but he turned my face and kissed me on the mouth. His hands tangled in my hair and held me close to him.

After a little while, Jimin finally let me go, but only for a moment. His hands strayed to my waist and he pulled me closer to him. I could feel his heart pounding as I pushed against his chest in an effort to escape. He responded by wrapping his muscular arms around me tightly.

“Jimin, stop. Please, please stop,” I pleaded with him.

“Why?” he breathed. He kissed me once more, softly this time.

“Because,” I whispered, “even if you do this, nothing is going to change.”

“Why not?” Jimin's voice took on a note of desperation. “Why can’t we just be together?”

“Because I can’t, Jimin. This is too ing hard.”

“Because you’re trying to fight it. I know you still have feelings for me.” Jimin rested his forehead against mine. “I know you still love me.”

“It doesn’t matter if I love you!” I cried, pushing his face away. “I don’t trust you. You don’t have the right to come back into my life after everything that happened. I had to give up my home and my friends and move back here because you left me. Because I couldn’t ing afford the rent and because that was our home, Jimin. And you just left it like that. You just left me like that. You say you know I still love you? What bull is that, Jimin? You ing left me because you didn’t believe I loved you in the first place.”

“I know, baby. I really ed up. I’m ashamed of myself. But I want to make it right with you. I want to make us work.”

“I don’t, Jimin.” I gazed into his beautiful brown eyes. “I can’t.” I pushed him away one more time and he finally let go of me.

I stood and brushed myself off. “You should leave.”

“Why?” Jimin demanded angrily, standing up to face me. “Why won’t you work this out with me? What are you so afraid of?”

I glared at him. Was he really getting mad at me right now? “What the hell do you think I’m so afraid of? Haven’t I said it pretty clearly? I’m afraid of you leaving me again.”

“I’m not going to leave you!” he cried.

“You already have!” I shouted. “There’s nothing left to leave anymore! You’ve left; we’re done. Now get the out of my apartment.” I pointed to the door.

“What can I do to make you believe me?” Jimin pleaded.

“Nothing,” I spat, feeling venomous. “You can’t ing do anything. I’m not getting back with you. It’s not happening. You remember those little trust issues I had before? They’ve grown, like,  tenfold. There’s no way you can ever convince me. I’m moving on.”

“To who, Young Jae?” Jimin asked indignantly. “You’re really going to choose that over me?”

“What right do you have to call anyone an ?” I snapped. “And it’s none of your damn business who I date.”

“So you guys are dating,” Jimin stepped closer to me, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. I rolled my eyes, annoyed by his belligerence. 

“I was thinking about it,” I replied truthfully, still pissed. Jimin’s mood changed from angry to depressed instantly.

“Are you serious? How can you date him when you love me?”

“Jimin, it’s not like people don’t break up and move on every day. It’s not like love lasts forever.”

“It could,” Jimin insisted softly. “We could make it work, baby, I know we can.”

“We can’t. Jimin, I can’t.”

“Baby, please. Please.” Jimin tried to get closer to me, but I held up my hands.

“Stay away from me, Jimin. I can’t deal with your right now.”

“Baby…” He gazed at me helplessly. I took no pity on him.

“Do you remember?” I asked him. “Do you remember how I sobbed on our kitchen floor? Do you remember how I pleaded with you, how I told you I could do better, how I asked you to just believe me when I told you I loved you? Do you remember, Jimin? Because I can’t forget.”

“I remember,” Jimin replied quietly. “I remember that every day since it happened. And I regret it. I regret it more than anything.”

He closed the distance between us and hugged me tightly.

“I won’t get scared again.” 

“Prove it," I snapped. I shoved him away from me. “If you want me back so bad, you’re going to have to fight for it.”

“I will,” Jimin promised me. “I will.”