After a couple of weeks working in the kitchen of the Parks’ restaurant I became really comfortable with Young Jae. We would chat and laugh as he brought me back dirty dishes. He had a friendly and open personality and it felt nice to have a friend again in Busan. I occasionally caught up with my old friends for a drink, but they were all busy with their families and work. My friends in Seoul called me pretty often, but it still wasn’t convenient to see them. All in all, I appreciated Young Jae’s companionship. And even though this should have been irrelevant, it helped that he was also really, really good-looking.

Young Jae came over for dinner practically every other day. He always invited himself over, claiming that it was lonely to eat alone. I did feel lonely in my tiny apartment so I never put up a fight. Plus, he always brought delicious home-cooked food from Mrs. Park.

One Friday night, after a filling meal and a few drinks, Young Jae told me he had to tell me something.

“What is it?” I demanded impatiently. He kept fiddling with his chopsticks and avoiding my eyes. “Just tell me already.”

“Ah, it’s just such a hard thing to say.” He scratched his head. “Ah, seriously. Okay.” Young Jae looked earnestly into my eyes. “What would you think about us dating?”

I dropped the food right out of my mouth. “Gross.=,” I muttered. Young Jae looked crestfallen. “No, no! Gross about the food falling, not about dating you.” I hurriedly assured him.

“Still…you dropping food out of your mouth in astonishment was not the reaction I was hoping for.” Young Jae sighed and leaned back in his chair.

“Young Jae.” He perked up when I said his name. “I appreciate your interest in me, but I’m not ready to date anyone yet. I’m still not over my ex-boyfriend.” I confessed honestly.

Young Jae seemed unfazed. “If you date me, I’m confident that I can make you forget about him.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I’m not confident at all. I’m still in love with him and I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon.”

Young Jae sighed. “What’s so good about a guy that left you? Hasn’t it already been over two months? You should hurry up and forget about him. Shouldn’t you try and find someone better?”

I held out my glass for another drink of soju and Young Jae filled it up. I downed it and stared at Young Jae.

“What’s so good about you that I should forget my first love and date you?” I challenged him.

He laughed. “I like your attitude. Tell you what, let’s go on one date. Just one! And then you can tell me what you think of me as your boyfriend. We can take it slow. I’m not in any rush.”

“Why are you so confident in yourself?” I asked him.

“I’m not," he replied with a shrug. “I’m just confident that I like you. I’ve liked you before too, when I was a gym teacher and you were a literature teacher. You had a badass vibe going on for someone who only liked to read books.”

“I am a badass,” I agreed, holding out my glass for another shot. “I honestly don’t think you can handle me. I’m mean and sarcastic and I’ll rarely tell you I love you. Actually, you’ll probably think that I don’t love you at all. Honestly, I probably won’t love you at all. I don’t even know why I’m discussing love with you because it’s not going to happen.”

Young Jae shrugged. “I don’t care about those things right now. What matters is that I like you and I want to be with you. Besides, I like all of those things about you. It’s refreshing.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not even serious about me. You just want a challenge. Let me guess, I’m not like other girls? What a line.” I sighed.

“Why are you doubting the sincerity of my attraction?” Young Jae asked, affronted. “I’m telling you I’m genuinely interested in you. None of what I’m saying is a line. I just want to go on a date with you.”

“Fine,” I agreed. “One date. I’ll probably regret it and I definitely won’t fall in love with you, but at least we can have a nice time.”

“All right!” Young Jae grinned.

“I don’t want to date you,” I told him bluntly. “I’m probably only saying yes because I’ve had a least a bottle of soju and because I’m still ing heartbroken.”

Young Jae gently placed his hand over mine. His hand was warm and large enough to completely cover mine.

“I promise that it’ll get better," he whispered. “It always does.”

I woke up the next morning to my cell phone ringing. I answered without checking the caller ID.

“Good morning!” An overly peppy male voice greeted me.

“Who is this?” I demanded groggily.

“It’s Young Jae. What are you doing still sleeping? Get up, we’re going to the amusement park!”

I rubbed my eyes. “What time is it even? Were we going today? I’m so tired.”

I heard banging on my front door. “What the ?” I muttered.

“Open up, I’m here!” Young Jae chirped into the phone.

I threw off my blankets and meandered slowly to the front door. I swung it open, glaring at Young Jae. He responded with a chipper smile. Wow, he had adorable dimples. I hadn't really noticed those before.

“Wow, you look so tired.” Young Jae commented unnecessarily. He brushed past me, holding two cups of coffee and a paper bag.

“No kidding. You just rudely awakened me,” I snapped.

He sat down at the table and opened the paper bag.

“Well, I brought you a muffin and some coffee.” He smiled up at me, revealing a set of perfect white teeth. Was he always this cute?

“I don’t drink coffee,” I replied ungratefully. “I can’t handle caffeine.”

“Great, you can have my tea.” Young Jae easily switched our cups. He glanced up at me. “I didn’t drink from it. Promise.”

I picked up the cup and tentatively took a sip. “It’s good. Thanks.” I sat down across from Young Jae and took a bite of a muffin.

Young Jae smiled at me. He always smiled. “You’re really cute in the morning, you know.”

I just looked at him. “I know that I’m not cute at all right now. I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.”

“No, really.” Young Jae insisted, examining my face intently. “You’re adorable.”

I threw my arms up in an effort to cover my face. “Please don’t stare at me while I’m eating.”

“You can stare back if you want to,” Young Jae said nonchalantly. He bit into his muffin and continued to stare at me.

I lowered my hands and met his gaze. Young Jae was the adorable one in the room, not me. I didn’t have any feelings towards him, but it was impossible to deny that he was good-looking. He was wearing a shirt that was just a little too tight and I could see the outline of a defined six-pack. His personality was also good. I couldn’t help feeling flattered that he thought I was cute in the morning.

Young Jae suddenly grinned. “You’re falling for me, aren’t you?” He winked and leaned towards me until his face was inches from mine. “You think I’m pretty cute, don’t ya?” He leaned just a little bit farther and kissed the tip of my nose.

I immediately pushed him away from me. “Young Jae, what the are you doing?”

“Ouch.” He complained, rubbing his nose.

“I’m asking you what you think you’re doing," I repeated, glaring at him.

Young Jae leaned back in his chair and gave me a cocky grin. “I’m just helping you fall for me." He winked at me. “I’m going to attack you full-force until you’re mine.”

I shuddered. “What a line. What, do you think you’re in a drama or something? You’re giving me goosebumps, you creep.”

Young Jae pouted. “Just hurry up and get ready so we can go to the amusement park.” He threw a napkin at me. “Cutie.” He added with another wink.

“I’m not sure I want to go anywhere with you right now," I snapped. “I’m going to take a shower. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.”

I felt weird about Young Jae being in my apartment while I showered. It felt intimate. I took some clean clothes with me into the bathroom so I wouldn’t have to leave the room in just a towel.

I quickly showered and dressed, feeling a little uncomfortable the entire time. I stepped into my bedroom to grab my hairdryer and received a shock when I found Young Jae standing in my room holding Jimin’s Givenchy backpack.

“Don’t touch that!” I snatched it from his hand. Young Jae stared at me, surprised.

“I’m so sorry," he immediately apologized. “I was just admiring it.”

“It’s fine,” I said brusquely, waving my hand at him. “It’s just precious to me.” I quickly hung it up back in the closet, then turned to Young Jae. “What are you doing in my room?”

He shrugged. “I was bored, so I thought I would explore.”

“Well, don’t. I’ll be ready in twenty minutes, so just go and watch TV or something.” I practically pushed him out of my room.

Once he was gone, I took down the backpack and checked the contents to see if they were safe. A whiff of Jimin hit my nostrils and set my tear ducts in motion. “Damn it,” I muttered. I grabbed Jimin’s sweatshirt, buried my face in it, and sank to the floor. “Jimin…”

After a few moments of crying pathetically into Jimin’s sweatshirt, I wiped my tears away and decided that this was no longer healthy behavior. It had been over two months. I could feel sad, but I had to at least try and move on. Clinging to Jimin’s memory wasn’t going to bring him back to me.

 I straightened up, made myself cute, and opened my bedroom door with a smile. Young Jae looked up and glanced at me appreciatively.

“You look gorgeous," he said softly.

“Thanks.” I grinned. I took a deep breath. I could do this. I could go to the amusement park. I could move on. “Are you ready to go?” I walked over to where Young Jae was standing.

“Always.” Young Jae reached down and took my hand. He held it for a moment in his warm and strong grip. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with," he said quietly.

I broke free of his grasp and held up my hand. “I’m not comfortable with any of this. I’m still in love with my ex-boyfriend and I’m not planning on using you to move on. But today, I just want to try and forget about him and have a good time.”

Young Jae nodded. “Okay. I can do that.” He grinned at me. “Let’s go play!”

Young Jae and I had a really fun time at the amusement park. I learned that he couldn’t handle rollercoasters at all, which I found incredibly endearing. He bought me cotton candy to make up for it and we spent the day laughing and chatting. We stayed almost until closing time and decided to ride the carousel as our last ride.

We climbed onto the ride and Young Jae helped me up onto a horse. He clambered on behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist while I held on to the pole. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear.

“I’m really glad you came with me today.”

“Me too,” I answered quietly. We could barely hear each other over the music playing and the noises of people enjoying themselves, so maybe he wouldn't be able to hear the lie in my voice.

“You know, I really like you. I don’t mind if you want to date me to forget about your ex-boyfriend.” Young Jae bent his head and kissed my shoulder.

“I do, though.” I shrugged him off.

Young Jae sighed and lifted his head. “You’re so stubborn.”

“It’s one of my best qualities,” I quipped.

The ride ended and Young Jae helped me get down. He took my hand and pulled me through the crowds of people. Sometime while we were walking, he laced his fingers through mine. Even when we had left the park and the crowd thinned, Young Jae still held my hand until we got to the car. I wasn’t sure whether I was more surprised at him for holding my hand so boldly or myself for letting him.

We got in the car and Young Jae turned to look at me.

“Do you mind if we go someplace else?” Young Jae asked me.

“It depends on where you want to take me,” I said. "It's getting late."

Young Jae nodded. “Don’t worry, you’ll be safe. I want you to feel safe with me. But do you mind if I keep it a surprise?”

I bit my lip and looked up at him from underneath my eyelashes. Did I really want to hang out with Young Jae any longer? 

But what were my other options? Going home, getting drunk on a bottle of wine, and crying into Jimin's pillow or going home, getting drunk on a bottle of soju, and crying into Jimin's sweashirt.

"Yeah, okay. I'll hang out with you just a little while longer."

We drove in relaxed silence for a while. I switched on the radio and we sang along to a few songs until Young Jae pulled into a parking lot. I got out of the car and looked up at the stars.

“Wow, it’s so gorgeous out tonight, considering the weather."

“Yeah, actually, this is what we came here to see.”

I looked over at Young Jae. He was holding a picnic basket and a blanket. He walked over to me with a huge smile and gently took my hand.

“There’s supposed to be a meteor shower tonight. There’s an open field if we walk a little ways. A bunch of people are going to be out here to see it. This park was advertised on the news as the best place to see it in Busan.”

“Wow, seriously?” I exclaimed excitedly. “I’ve always wanted to see a meteor shower!”

Young Jae grinned. “I’m glad to make at least one of your dreams come true tonight.”

He held my hand and guided me through the woodsy trail to the open field.

“Whoa.” I breathed when we finally arrived. “This is amazing.”

Young Jae let out a sigh of relief at my reaction. “Phew. You’re a hard girl to impress, so I wasn’t sure if you would like something like this.”

“Are you kidding?” I turned to him eagerly. “This is beautiful! C’mon, let’s go find a good place to sit.” I pulled him impatiently. He laughed and allowed himself to be dragged along.

We picked the perfect spot: not too close to other people, but not too far away. Young Jae spread out the blanket while I investigated the contents of the picnic basket.

“You brought champagne?” I cried, pulling out the bottle. “Whoa, how cheesy.”

Young Jae stuck his tongue out at me. “There’s more in there, miss.”

“Ooh, chocolate covered cherries. Is that cake? Ooh, and a baguette and brie?” I looked up at him and laughed. “You are really pulling out all the stops, aren’t you? Are we in France?”

“Oh, shut up and come over here. I’m hungry.”

I brought the basket over and Young Jae popped the champagne.

“I really love champagne,” I told him after my third glass.

He laughed. “I’m so happy to hear that. Here, have some bread.” He handed me a piece.

“Bread is so good, too. Good job, Young Jae. This is a great first date.”

“First date, huh? Does that mean you think there’ll be a second?” he asked me hopefully.

I shrugged. “Who knows?”

“So stubborn.” He shook his head at me. “C’mon and finish eating. The meteor shower is supposed to start soon.”

We put the food away and lay down on the blanket together. We weren’t snuggling or anything, but it somehow still felt intimate.

“The stars are really pretty. Even if we don’t get to see the meteor shower, I’m still satisfied.” I sighed happily.

Young Jae took my hand in his. “It makes me really happy to hear you say that.”

He laced his fingers through mine and turned his head to look at me. “Is this okay?” He asked me shyly.

“I don’t even know.” I replied softly. “I’m really confused right now. But it feels nice.”

Just then, the people around us started to get excited. Young Jae and I both looked up at the sky. The meteor shower had begun!

We passed the duration of the meteor shower in silence. Occasionally Young Jae would squeeze my hand and look over at me with a smile. I sighed internally. He was truly adorable, but he wasn’t Jimin. My heart just wasn’t in it.

After the meteor shower ended, I sat up and helped myself to another glass of champagne. Young Jae propped himself up on his elbows.

“Hey, come here," he called to me.

“What?” I laid down next to him.

“I have something to tell you.” He motioned for me to come closer.

“What?”

“Closer, closer.”

I bent down until my face was inches from his. “What do you want?”

“This.” Young Jae reached up and kissed me sweetly.

I didn’t pull away immediately and I hated myself for that. But when I did pull away, I apologized.

“Young Jae, I’m sorry. I just can’t do this right now.”

Young Jae gazed at me with his gorgeous brown eyes. “Why not? You’re not dating him anymore, you know.”

“I know. It just feels wrong.”

“Does it feel bad?” he persisted.

“No,” I admitted reluctantly. “But I feel bad about it.”

Young Jae sighed and sat up. He looked at me wistfully.

“Actually, I’ve liked you since a while ago," he confessed quietly.

I glanced at him in surprise. “I’ve only known you for so long.”

“No, no.” He shook his head. “I really liked you more than I let on when we were teachers in the same school. I asked your coworker friend about you, but she said you already had a boyfriend. And when you moved, I decided to forget about you. But then, when I saw you in the Parks’ restaurant, I felt really happy. I’m not saying it’s fate or anything, but I just wanted to do my best this time.”

I stared at him and tried to process what he had just said.

“Listen, don’t stress about it.” Young Jae patted my head. “I’m just telling you that I’m serious. And I want to confuse you.” He winked at me. “Hurry up and forget about that guy and come to me instead.”

I laughed. “You should prepare yourself for a losing battle.”

“I’m up for the challenge,” Young Jae replied softly as he bent down and kissed my forehead.

I appreciated Young Jae’s words, but deep down I wished Jimin had been the one to say them.