There she was.

Walking with her simplicity and elegance. 

She's still as beautiful as I remembered her.

Pale-white skin, perfect nose, beautiful lips and eyes.

I remembered  how she smells: intoxicating and addicting. Strawberry. She smells like strawberries.

If I was watching a movie, the background music will be a lively one in G major.

Her moving figure is an art. But every is not perfect, they still have some flaws.

And hers is she's walking beside a guy that's clearly into her.

And by this is the time, a C# will be played wrongly completely ruining the scene.

 

"Hey babe, they're here." The Ellin said to me. Oh, I have a girlfriend, right. I smiled at her in acknowledgement.

"Good morning, Krystal-sshi, Minhyuk-sshi." We greeted them.

 

Minhyuk is an architect and Krystal is an interior designer. Elliin's parents are in the midst of building a house in Jeju and they only want the best workers to bulid their vacation house. And yes, they're together.

Ellin asked me to come with her to this meeting and i agreed because this was like the hundredth time she asked me to come with her. To put in a simpler way, I ran out of excuses not to accompany her today.

 

We shaked Minhyuk's hand then Krystal's. My hand lingered a bit longer on hers.  

We made a brief eye contact.

I can't keep my eyes away from her. She's too beautiful.

"This is Amber." Ellin said. "She's my girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you, Amber-sshi." Minhyuk said and smile a little to him. I don't like him.

Krystal din't say anything but just smiled faintly to acknowledge me.

 

The meeting started and I just kept my eyes locked on Krystal. Watching even the slightest move she makes.

Her manner of covering while laughing, it never changed.

Or the way she bites her lower lip when she's thinking hard.

Some things really never change.

Even my feeling for her.

 

"Amber... Amber.."

"Huh what?" I said. Ellin was calling me.

"Stop staring at Ms. Jung." She said jokingly. "I was asking what would you like to order?"

"Oh. Uh, uhm. I'll have the usual." I told her.

"I should've known." She laughed softly. "She'll have the homemade spaghetti." She said to the waiter.

For a brief moment i saw Krystal look a bit surprised.

"You know Amber, I really don't understand why you keep on ordering that. You don't even like pasta." She said to me and I just shrugged.

"You know Amber here, hates pasta. A lot. But she keeps on ordering spaghetti ever single time on this restaurant." Ellin said to them.

"Well, what doesn't kill you makes you stonger." Minhyuk said, Ellin laughed and I just smiled while Krystal just smiled too.

 

They kept on talking about the house's design and stuff even after our orders arrived.

Krystal ordered steak, as usual. And out of relfex, I got the cucumber sides in her plate. Krystal hates cucumbers

After eating the cucumber I realized what I did and I noticed that they were all staring at me.

"Oh, sorry Krystal-sshi. I just really like cucumbers. I hope you don't mind." I said and acted like nothing happened.

"No, it's okay. Krystal doesn't like cucumbers anyway." Minhyuk said.

"I didn't know you like cucumbers. I thought you hated them." Ellin said.

"I love cucumbers." I said and smiled to change the topic.

 

Their meeting went on. I wasn't paying attention, I was just looking at Krystal.

After some more minutes the meeting ended and we're now about to go to the sight.

I see Krystal whisper something to Minhyuk. Minhyuk then looked worried.

Krystal's face became paler.

"Are you sure?" Minhyuk asked Krystal and she just nodded.

"Unfortunately, Krystal can't come with us. She's having some headache." 

My eyes quickly darted to Krystal examining her.

"Are you alright, Krystal-sshi?" Ellin asked her.

"Yes. I just needed some rest. Don't worry." She said. I wanted to do something but I can't.

"Will you be fine going home by yourself?" Minhyuk asked Krystal.

"Yes. You guys go without me." She said with a faint smile.

"I'm sorry I can't send you home." Minhyuk said and carresses Krystal's face. Ugh.

"Oh. You can't go home all by yourself." Ellin said. "Amber can take you home." 

I got surprised and I'm sure Krystal is too.

"Oh no. I don't want to be a bother. I can-"

"N-no, it's totally fine." I said.

"Okay then. I'll just ride with Minhyuk-sshi. You can ride at Amber's car Krystal-sshi." Ellin said smiling warmly.

I can feel Krystal fidgeting in her spot.

Minhyuk kissed Krystal cheek and said goodbye and Ellin hugged me.

Ellin and Minhyuk went ahead. And Krystal and I head for my car.

I can see Krystal wobble while walking and held her elbows for support.

"Don't touch me." She said sharply.

"You can't walk straig-"

"I said don't touch me!" 

"Okay fine. I won't." I said, raising both my hands showing I won't touch her.

I let her walk first so I can catch her if she falls.

After some steps she wobbled again.

I quickly sprint to her and catch her.

"I told you not to touch me!" She said obviously angry.

"Stop being hard-headed Soojung! I can't just let you go when you're sick." I snapped back.

"Well guess what! You already did let go of me once!" She shouted at me.

I don't know how to answer her because she's right.

Without thinking, I scooped her up carrying her. She kept on punching until we got to the car.

" I can walk you know." She said when I bring her down.

We both got inside the car and just sat there. 

Her words kept ringing in my head.

I let her go once and it was the biggest mistake of my life.

 

"I hate you" she said breaking the silence.

"I know." I said. My heart broke hearing the words.

"Good." She said venomously.

I closed my eyes letting her words sink in.

"It was for the best you know." I said not caring if she'll listen or not. "And seeing you now, I know it was worth it." I smiled bitterly.

"Oh it was totally worth it. Leaving me without a word! Just disappearing like that! You're a coward, Amber! An ! You deserve all my hate!"

"You know I did it for you, Soojung. I know you'll not agree to break up with me so I had to leave without seeing you even if it means you'll hate me for the rest of your life."

"Well, congratulations! You did a great job on me hating you! Are you happy now?!" 

"You know I didn't want to leave you." I said calmly.

"Them why did you ing leave?!"

"I had to."

"Why?!"

"You don't need to know."

" you. You're full of Amber.You don't know how hard it was for me. I waited every ing day for a phone call or even a text message from you. I waited in vain." She said as she started to cry. "I hate you ! I don't ever want to see you again! I wish you would die aready!" Every words she said cuts deep in my heart. Now, she wishes me dead. A tear escaped my eye hearing that.

"I had to leave because I know your father's letting you choose between me and your family." I said and she finally looked at me calmly.

"H-how did you know?"

"Yuri told me, you're sister told her and she told me."

"Then why did you leave? I would've chosen you!"

"That's it, Soojung! You would've chosen me over your family. And I can't let you do that! If you chose me back then, you will be cut off everything you grew up with money, material things, comfort, security. As much as I want to work for you back then, we were too young. You were just in the middle of studying college and I was just someone who makes music with no particular direction in life. I was not even sure if people will like the music I make to pay the bills!"

"We could've worked it out, Amber." She said calmly, tears falling freely from her eyes.

"It's all in the past now." I said. "Maybe we're not really made for one another."

"Then tell me why do you still have this effect on me? Why does my heart beats crazy even after all the years that you were gone?" She said. I can't believe what's she's telling me. She still has feeling for me.

"But as you said, it's all in the past now." I don't know how to answer her so I just started the car and started driving.

 

The whole ride was silent. No one said a single word.

I parked outside her apartment complex. Yes, I know where she lives.

"You even know where I live." She smiled bitterly. "And you didn't even bother to show at my doorstep."

"Believe me, if I knew sooner I would've done that. But when I found out you were already someone else's and that someone was someone your dad picked for you, I told myself I shouldn't bother you anymore. I don't want to ruin anything." I said.

She slowly made her way out of my car and probably out of my life. I watch her get out my car and saw her steps are unstable.

I didn't think twice and went to her to keep her balanced.

I held her waist and this time she didn't fight back. She rested some of her weight on me and rested her head on my shoulder.

Some words are better left unsaid.

I walked her past the entrance, up the elevator to her room.

She lifted her weight on me and fishes her keys out her bag.

She opens her door and I watch her get inside. She turns around facing me. And we 're just looking straight at each other. No one saying a word.

I try to take her all in. I make pictures in my head hoping it wil last a lifetime.

"Thank you, for taking me home." She said. I didn't say anything, I was just staring at her, not wanting this minute to end.

I'm memorizing everything about her. Every little things that I don't want to forget.

Slowly and unconsciously I took a step in front of her making us just centimeters apart.

I slowly closed the gap between our bodies, hugging her.

She reciprocated the hug as I feel her crying.

Is everything too late for us?

We stayed like this for quite some time. No one wanting to let go.

I took the initiative and loosen the hug. Her hands fell down my shoulders, connecting our foreheads as I held her by her waist.

I could only close my eyes to savour the moment as I hear her silent cries.

 

My right hand touched her face, wiping her tears.

"Ssshh. Don't cry." I told her. She held my hand caressing her face.

"Stay. Stay for tonight." She said.

"But Kryst-"

"They don't have to know. Just hold my hand until morning comes." This feels wrong but I agreed.

"Okay." I said. She managed to smile and led me into her apartment.

She went to her bedroom and I sat on the sofa.

She went out of her room dressed in her house clothes.

 

This feels like how we were back then.

Sneaking behind her parents' back. She would go to my place while her parents were away and we would just watch some movies or talk about our future together.

 

She sat beside me and rested her head on my neck hugging me. My arms automatically circles her waist, keeping her in place.

"Just like old times." She said. The television was open showing some Audrey Hepburn movie.

"Just like old times." I said smiling. This feels wrong yet so right.

"Are you still feeling sick?" I ask her and she nodded.

"I'll just get you some meds then."

"No. I just want to be like this." She said.

"You better lie down then." 

I lifted our feet to the couch and we were lying down sideways facing the television. Her back resting on me as I circle my arm around her waist, resting my hand on her stomach.

She placed her hand on top of mine playing with our fingers.

 

"You still remember that I don't like cucumbers." She said.

"How could I forget? You used to put all the cucumbers on my plate everytime we eat." I said smiling thinking about the past.

"Why were you always ordering the spaghetti in that restaurant? You hated pastas."

"Remember when you made spaghetti on my birthday? It tasted so salty."

"Yeah, and so?"

"The spaghetti there's too salty  too. It always reminds me of you." I told her and she hit my arm.

"Yah, I cook better now." She said.

"Oh, I bet you do." I tell her with a big smile on my face.

 

We spent the night reminiscing about the past.

This was all I wanted for Krystal me. To be together at the end of everday.

Too much for wishful thinking.

 

"You better sleep now, Krystal." I said to her as I her hair.

"And you'll hold me 'til morning comes?"

"Yes."

We got out of the couch and head to her room.

 

We lay on her bed facing each other.

And again, I'm caught up with her beauty. Her lips, looks so kissable right now.

And as if she's reading my mind she slowly filled the gap betweeen our lips.

Her hands went to my neck then to my hair messing with it.

My arms at the same time pulled her body closer to me.

I can't get enough of everythingabout her. My hands and lips explored every part of her body.

Her body feels so familiar and feels so right.

I was about to yank her shirt up but I stop myself. Instead, I hugged her really tight.

"Let's sleep?" I ask her and she nodded.

"Hold me." She said. 

I secured my arms around her securing her beside me as she pressed her body against mine and rested her head on my chest.

This feels right.

This feels like home.

 

 

 

Morning came, I woke seeing her sleeping figure beside me.

This was all that I ever want. See her beside me every morning.

I touched her face, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

I kissed her forehead and got up from her bed.

I look at her for the last time.

"I love you, Soojung. Always have always will. Be happy for me."

 

I made my way to my car. I got inside and my tears started to fall.

I drove back to my apartment crying.

I got to my apartment and it was the only time that I checked my phone.

It was full of Ellin's missed calls and text messages.

I called her planning to end everything with her.

I realizeed that I'm being unfair to her. I am in love with someone that's not her.

"Hello?"

"Ellin? Can we meet later at the cafe? I have to tell you something." She agreed.

 

 

I prepared myself and went to the cafe.

I parked my car outside and I see her sitting at our usual spot.

"Hi." I greeted her as I sit opposite of her.

"Hey, let's order first?" She asked. I nodded and she ordered for us.

Our drinks arrived and I started talking.

"Ellin. I can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"I'm breaking up with you?"

"Why all of a sudden?"

"I'm in love with someone else. I've been in love with her for a long time and I can't let our relationship go on because it would be unfair for you. I'm really sorry. You deserve someone better."

She got up from her sit and slapped me hard. The people was staring at us but I could care less.

I deserve all these anyway.

" you, Amber." and she walked away.

 

I went back to my apartment feeling empty.

I sat myself in a corner and hugged my knees. I feel so alone.

I took out my wallet and took out Krystal's picture she gave way back when.

"At the end of the day, I still regretted my choice of letting you go. If I could turn back time, I would've fought for you. We would've been together right now." My tears strted flowing again.

"I'm sorry for being a coward. Im sorry for leaving you. Be happy for me, Soojung."

 

I've decided to live my life alone. It's Krystal or nothing. I would rather live my life alone than be with someone not her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 years later

After the day I broke up with Ellin I kept on going to the place where I first met Krystal. it's became a habit of mine

It was in a park near a fountain. When I was younger I used to stand near the fountain and sing with my guitar. My guitar case open as people who like my music give me some change.

I was singing one day and she was sitting on a bench reading a book.

When I started singing she saw me and threw some change in my guitar case. I locked eyes with her as if serenading her. Serenading a stranger. And the rest was history.

 

I sat on the bench she sat on back then. I just enjoy the air, the trees, the birds, the sun.

This brings back memories of the right love at the wrong time.

"Mind if I take a seat?" I look at the person and shook my head.

"S-soojung?"

"Hello, stanger." She said.

"What are you doing here?"

"Do you now own this place, Liu?"

"N-no."

We sat in silence. I wanted to hug her to kiss her but I restrained myself afraid that she might stop me because she has a boyfriend.

I feel her hand rest on top of mine.

I looked at our hands and then to her.

"Aren't you gonna say anything?"

"W-what about your boy-"

"I don't have one." She said smiling. I can't help but smile back at her.

"Let's start all over again?" She asked me. I nodded.

I got up and hug her spinning her around.

I kissed her passionately not caring if anyone is looking.

"I'm never letting you go again, Soojung." I said. "I'm sorry for leaving you back then. I wear I would spend the rest of my life making up to everything I've done wrong." I told her as I held her close afraid she might disappear.

"Why don't you start by continuing what you were supposed to do that night in my apartment?"

 

 

 

 

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I was thinking if I should make an epilogue for find me?