KRYSTAL'S POV

Do you know what are the two worst parts of a break-up?

 It's not about reminiscing the memories the two of you used to have and shared.

 It's not about seeing the one who used to hold your heart be happy with other people.

 For the past five years I've realized that one of the hardest part of a break-up are the what ifs.

 What if I gave her more of my attention back then, then we would not have grown apart.

 What if I showered her with hugs and kisses? Then she would not have went looking for someone else.

 What if I didn't agree to break-up with her? Then we'd still be together.

 Only if I was able to balance college pressure and her then we would've been still together, then she would have not cheated on me.

Second, though you're deeply hurt with your past relationship, you still don't want to move on. I still don't want to move on.

 She was my first love, Amber Liu. And so far, I think she will be the only one I will ever love.

 

You see, we started way back in high school. I'm the studious, perfectionist, ignorant type. While she was the hot, jock, girl-next-door, dorky type.

 I had quite a number of suitors back then but I could care less. And she has also quite a number of girls lined up on her door step.

 Normally I would just shrug away my suitors and tell them to get lost. I also did it to her but she was so persistent. She would always annoy me back in high school and would always do crazy things. Like this one time, it was our lunch time and I was having a nice lunch with my friends when Amber came to our table. She wanted to talk to me but I was so mad at her that time because she kept on throwing paper balls on my desk with pick-up lines written on them. The teacher caught us and thought that we were passing test answers to each other and got scolded by it. She kept on calling my name but I still ignored her. She got tired eventually and left, or so I thought. I thought she left but after a few minutes, a student caught the attention of the whole cafeteria.

 "Yo, listen up!" It was Amber standing on a table.

 "I just want to apologize to the beautiful and ice-cold hearted, that I will soon melt, Krystal Jung who's sitting over there.." She then pointed to my direction as I try my best to hide my face in embarrassment. "And for the information of everybody Krystal and I will be an item soon so if anyone tries to court her then you're just wasting your time. Thank you for listening and you may now continue having your lunch." She said with a cheeky smile while everybody cheered for her. I really felt so embarrassed that time but I've got to admit it was definitely something sweet. That it was how I started to warm-up on her. And not long after we became an item. Those were the good times.

 

College came and the pressure was high. I really studied hard and was able to maintain high grades and I was a consistent dean's lister. Because I was so focused on my studies we hardly go out on dates or update each other, that's how our relationship started to deteriorate.

 I would hear stories from my friends that she's having lunch and dinners with different girls but I just shrugged those stories off. Until one night she called me while I was studying for a finals exam, it's my last exam as a college student. She broke up with me, she told me that we hardly see each other and we're growing apart from each other. She admitted that she was seeing other girls and my heart just shattered. I blamed myself for everything that's happened. I didn't hate her, I can't hate her. Yes, I was a bit mad at her for cheating but still I would take back in a heartbeat.

 

Five years after the break-up, I can say that I'm successful in my field with my own advertising company. I'm successful and lonely. I miss her. For the past five years, I've lost contact with her.

From what I heard from our friends, she's in the music industry. She's always been into music and she would always sing to me before, oh how I miss her sweet voice. She's a freelance musician, they say. They said that she's quite famous on the underground scene. Her schedule is packed and you would have to schedule her at least 2-3 weeks before an event.

 Believe me, I tried dating again but no one really captured my interest. Men are all the same, I would show them my cold exterior and they would be easily scared by it. Not like Amber, though I showed her my cold facade, she still persued me and melt down the ice inside me and that made me fall for her.

 

 

 

Tonight, I agree to have a dinner with this guy who's been bugging for God knows how long. I agreed to this so that he would stop. I sternly told him to never bother me again after this night.

 We were supposed to have a dinner on this high-end restaurant but when we got to the place his name wasn't on the guest list. Pssh. If this was Amber she would make sure that everything is set before our date.

 So we ended up to a pub across the street. The place isn't high-end but it's cozy, this place is actually nice. There's a bar on the right side of the place, stage for some live music and some sofas and tables for people who wants to have some meal. This is a place where Amber and I would definitely go to.

 

"Sorry that we had to end up here." He said with an apologetic smile, his forehead dripping with sweat from nervousness. He looked like he ran a marathon.

 "It's the first and last anyway." I told him. His smile immediately disappeared. I would've laugh at him but I need to keep my straight face on.

 When we ordered I made sure to buy the most expensive item they have.

 "Goodevening everyone! Are you all having a good time?" A man on the stage asked the crowd.

 "Yes!"

 "Whoo!"

 "Yeah!" The crowd cheered.

 "Good good. Well, if you're having a good time I bet you will be stoked for tonight's performer. We've been trying to book her for almost a month and tonight is a lucky night for everyone here." People started to hint the performer for tonight.

 "So without further adieu, I give you Amber Liu!"

 My eyes darted toward the stage.

My heartbeat begins to rise.

I miss her so much.

 

 

AMBER'S POV

For the past five years I've been contemplating about the the thing that's been missing in my life. I'm happy with what I have right now, music performance here and there, good income, a nice and cozy apartment, nice friends and many more.

For the past five years I've been thinking about Krystal Jung.

I'm a stupid douche, I know.

I really don't know what has gotten into my head back then that i decided to break up with her.

She was everything I could ask for, hard-working, beautiful, y, smart, well-mannered.

And for the past five years I've been regretting my decision to end what we had.

I was surrounded with a lot of girls back in college and we hardly see each other so I thought that having no relationship would be a great idea to date different girls. I was wrong.

 

For the past five years I've been hearing news about her and watch her achieve everything she's worked for. I'm so proud of her. I always think about her and how to get her back but I know that I'm not worthy of her anymore. I cheated on her while she's done nothing wrong, I don't deserve her.

 

Tonight's just another night. Another performance. In all of my performances, I always think of her. I would always imagine a random girl in the audience to be her, watching me from the crowd and how she would enjoy my music. The music that's all dedicated to her. I would imagine her to congratulate me and tell me how great I performed after every performance.

As the host called my name I can hear the people cheer for me. With my guitar I went to the stage and sit on high chair at the center with a mic on a mic stand in front. Again, I imagined her to be one of the girl in the crowd. I scanned the area and I imagine her to be the girl sitting on a seat with a man who's about to have their meal. I smiled as I think of her.

"Good evening, everyone." I greeted. "It's my pleasure to be here tonight. So for my first song that I would be singing tonight, it's a song about a lost love. A lost love you wish you shouldn't have let go of." I smiled bitterly.

"Anyone in mind?" A man from the crowd asked which gathered some laugh from the audience.

"Actually, yes." I smiled. "It's actually from a personal experience. She was the most perfect girl for me but I let her go. Stupid,right? But yeah I broke it off with her because back then I thought that's what I wanted but it turned out that it wasn't what I wanted. So yeah, here it goes."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWJfsGoc6fw

The crowd clapped their hands after the song.

"For my second song, it's a popular song so if you know it feel free to sing along."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpgq0g18Hj4

Claps were heard again as I ended the second song.

"What would you tell her if she was listening?" Another man threw a question at me.

"Well, first of all I would apologize for being a jerk. Then I would tell her how miserable I've been back then. I would tell her that I will always love her no matter what. But I wouldn't ask her to be mine again." I answered.

"Aww." The crowd reacted. "Why not?" They asked.

"Well, I don't think she deserves someone who broke her heart the first time. Though i would love to have her back again but I don't deserve her anymore. She's way too good for me. I bet she hates me with all her gut." I smiled bitterly. "And who knows she might be already in love with some else." A single tear escaped my eye when I said my last statement, the thought pains me. 

 

The night went on and after my performance I went to the pub's bar and grab some drink. A couple of girls approached but I didn't entertain anyone.

I felt very lonely at the moment. I'm on my second beer and the beer is my best friend for tonight. 

" So, I heard you're still in love with me?" A girl sat next to me.

"Well if you're name is Krystal the ye- Krystal??" It was Krystal. Her beauty never changed. I'm still mesmerized by her.

"Last time I checked it's still Krystal. Hi." She said.

"W-what are you doing here?" I ask her. Was she here the whole time? So, I wasn't imagining that she was in the crowd. She was really on the crowd! With a guy? Is it her boyfriend?

"You own this place now, Liu?" She asks. Her and her clever tongue.

"N-no. H-how long have you been on this place?" I ask.

"Long enough to know how you feel about me." She said. .

"Uhm, I-I s-should go. It's already getting lat-"

"So you're just gonna walk away? Again?" She asks. I can sense bitterness in her words.

"It's better if I just leave before I lose my senses and ask you to take me back." I said to her, she was silent.

"So what's holding you back?" She asks tears starts to fall from her eyes. People started to look at us since this is only a small place and a crying girl can be a center of attention. I drag her at the back of the pub in an alley. We're both breathing heavy as tears kept on flowing from her eyes.

"What's holding you back, Liu?" She asked me again. "Am ugly now to you?! Have I gained weight and become fat?!" No, Krystal. You're beautiful and you'll always be perfect just the way you are, I wanted to tell her. "Was I boring you out in our relationship?! Or you're still busy flirting with other girl just like back then?!" I stayed silent, avoiding her eye contact with me. I just kept my eyes on the ground.

"Answer me, Liu!" She shouted at me. She started throwing punches at me but I didn't fight her back because I knew that I deserve her punches.

"You could've just wait a little longer back then! You know that I was studying very hard for the both of us, so that we would have a good future! You would just have to wait a little bit longer then I would have given my full attention on you." She said. She held on to my shirt after a couple more punches and she started to calm down. "You could've just wait a little longer." She repeated.  

"Look, I'm sorry. Okay?" She said, her voice becoming soft. "I'm sorry for neglecting you back then. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to give you the attention you needed. I'm sorr-" I stop her and hug her as if my life depends on her. Or maybe my life really depended on her.

"Sshh. Don't you ever say that." I said to her as my tears starts to roll down from my eyes.

"Don't you ever say you're sorry." I said firmly. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I was blind back then to realize that all that I would ever need was just standing right in front of me. I was stupid let you go. To let go of everything we had. I'm really, really sorry  for everything, Krystal." I finally found the courage to look at her in the eyes.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Krystal. Because I know that I don't deserve any of it. I just wanted you to know that I've regretted all the misfortunes I've put you through. Believe me, I didn't have any relationships after you. I thought I would be happy with flings but it turns out that you were all I've ever needed. I was miserable without you, Krystal. But, d-don't worry, I will make sure to distance myself from you and and let you be with your boyfriend." I told her as I wipe the tears away from her eyes.

 

KRYSTAL'S POV

I watch her as she made her way to the stage. After settling herself she scanned the area and I think she just looked at me..

I heard everything she said. I wasn't able to eat my food because I was so engrossed on watching her. I can hear the guy I was with blabbering about some things but I was too focused on Amber to care about this annoying guy.

After her performance I saw her go the bar to grab some drink. I watch how some girls would try to talk to her but she would just shrug them off politely. Good. I saw that she's now alone at the bar and I took it as a sign to talk to her. I got out of my sit while this guy was still talking.

"W-where are you going?" He panicked.

"None of your business. Look, I really am not enjoying any of this so if you'll excuse me let's just pretend this never happened and I'll forget the way you sweat uncontrollably in front of me." I said to him, coldly. I didn't wait for him to answer back and I made my way to where Amber was sitting.

 

 

 

I miss her. I miss every inch of her. I cried harder on her chest as she pulls me in for a hug. Her smell filled my senses and all I want to do is make everything right with her. I want her back. I want her to hug and kiss me like before. I want to hear her say how she loves me more that anything in the world.

"I'm not asking for your forgiveness, Krystal. Because I know that I don't deserve any of it. I wanted you to know that I've regretted all the misfortunes I've put you through. Believe me, I didn't have any relationships after you. I thought I would be happy with flings but it turns out that you were all I've ever needed. I was miserable without you, Krystal. But, d-don't worry, I will make sure to distance myself from you and and let you be with your boyfriend." She said. No. I don't want you go. Now that I just found you again. It's my turn to hug her tight and bury my head on the crook of her neck, hoping that she would get the message that I don't want her to go. Not now, not ever. I can feel her body getting stiff, she did not hug me back but it just made me hug her tighter.

"Krystal, please let go. I'm afraid that if you hug me any longer I might just lose all of my remaining sanity saneness and not let you go." She said, I still didn't budge and just kept my arms around her.

"Your boyfriend might be waiting on you Krystal." She said, I can sense sadness in her voice. Did she see me with that guy? You're getting the wrong idea, Amber.

"I know you hate me Krystal. But you're making it harder for  me to let you go. I don't want to steal you away from your currrent relationship." She said.

"I'd like to see you try." I told her, cahallenging her, pretending that I'm in a relationship.

"Krystal I'm giving you five seconds to let go of this hug. I-if you don't let go, I'm gonna be salfish and keep you all for myself." She said. 

"1" she started counting. A little smile formed on my lips. She's so cute.

"2"

"3, I don't want to be selfish Krystal but you're leaving me no choice."

"4, it's now or never, Krystal."

"4 and a half."

"4 and one fourth. Don't blame me for being selfish.."

silence...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"5. God, you're still stubborn."

After counting five, Amber tilted my face so I could face her. All I saw was her eyes, her beautiful eyes. After a three second eye contact, I felt her lips on mine. As our lips connected I felt a current that I knew she felt too. The kiss sent butterflies in my stomach just like how we would kiss before. This kiss was full of emotion. All our longing poured out on this kiss. I slowly move my lips and she reciprocated the action. I felt her tongue asking permission to invade my mouth and I gladly granted the permission. I can't help but smile inbetween kisses, I felt whole again. The empty space in my heart is filled again and it's all because of her.

After making out, she looked me straight in my eyes.

"You want this, don't you?" She asks, a smile forming on her lips.

"Took you long enough to figure it out, Stupid." I told her, A smile forming in my lips. "I knew there was reason why I called stupid back then." I said.

"W-what about your boyfriend?" She asks.

"Oh, I was just messing with you. I don't have one, the guy you might see me awhile ago was just an annoying suitor that I agreed to have dinner with so he would stop bothering me." It told her as I steal a peck on her lips.

"Thank God!" Amber shouted and I can't help but to laugh at her cuteness. "So what does this make us?" She asks me.

"What do you want us to be?" I returned the question to her.

"Well, I may sound selfish and but I want us to be together again. I want you, Krystal Jung, to be my girlfriend again." She told me and I can't help but to smile even more.

"Do it properly then. I want you to go down on your one knee and ask me to be your girlfriend." I .

Without having second thoughts, she knelt in front of me on her left knee and held my right hand.

"Krystal Jung, you never fail to surprise me with your beauty, wit and talent. First of all I want to say I'm sorry for all the wrong deeds and decision I made in the past. Though I've convinced myself that I don't deserve you anymore, yet here you are standing in front of me ready to take me back into your arms without any inhibitions and hesitations. I know I've hurt you deeply, but let me make it up to you. I won't promise anything but I will make sure to be the best that I can be as long as you want me in your life. I've learned my lesson for the past five years and it thought me to be a better person for you. I wasn't expecting for you to take me back but then again, you're Krystal Jung, you never fail to surprise me. So Krystal Jung, will you be my girlfriend again?" She asks me. Her impromptu speech brought tears of happiness in my eyes.

"Yes, Amber!' I answered her and pulled her up for a kiss. "I would take you back in a heartbeat, Amber." I told her.

"I love you." I told her with all my heart.

"I love you too, princess. Let me make up for all our lost time." She said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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