Continuation of HAPPINESS. :)

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It’s been months since my dreaded news broke out. Her, dating. I stare out at the glass door of my terrace and watch as people pass the busy streets of Korea. Each soul has some errands and tasks to accomplish. Some may just be relaxing or enjoying their day-off. Each and everyone undergoing different dilemmas, some bare with it with a smile some with a frown. As for me, I’ll just keep a straight face.

The sun is shining so bright, rays of light dance over the Earth and I wish it would shed some light over my dimmed and gloomy life. I open my the door and stepped out to my terrace and a gush of humid air made contact to my body. It’s summer.

I used to love summer, maybe I still love it now, but love is also subjective. The weather’s freakingly and exhaustingly hot but somewhere deep inside me I still feel cold. Maybe it’s just my body and my high tolerance with hot weather or it’s the missing presence of a certain soul that I may have grown so much accustomed with that should be beside me at this very moment. I don’t know.

I remember the song I made for her. I wrote it with the thoughts of summer and her. She’s my summer, my sunny day in a gloomy sky, she’s the glass of a cold sweet strawberry juice that I always long for on a hot sunny day.

Does she remember the lyrics to it? Does she still even sing it? I never told her that I made that song especially for her, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out, right? I mean it was practically our story way back when. And it’s still our probably story now.

Oh, how I love watching her sing her parts. Does she know my favorite part of that song? It’s not my rap but the very chorus itself, the one that goes, ‘the friend label is a label I got to hate, the feelings I’ve hid still remain as a painful secret memory, the photos that can’t define our relationship is a heartbreaking story’. That exact line goes straight through my heart ‘cause I know that’s all we’ll ever be, FRIENDS.

I once asked her what her favorite part was but she told me it was a secret so I just let it go. Now, it’s summer again and the difference is she’s not with me because of him and my heart isn’t whole anymore.

I can’t say that I never expected this to happen, that I’m surprised that she’s not here with me right now ‘cause I know somewhere along the way, between my make-believes and wishful thinkings, i know that one day she will find someone who will take care of her and love her FREELY. Someone she could share affection  with in public because it’s the moral and what the society accepts. Someone she could call her prince.

I’m no prince, I can’t be. I’ll just be her ever loyal stupid servant who is madly in love with the princess.

I went back inside my apartment since the night already ate the light in the skies. Not long after, drops of rain started falling down the night sky. I like to believe that the sky is crying for me. Tears I don’t want anyone to see.

I stare at my window watching the droplets of rain fall from the sky to the ground. Unaware, I started singing the bridge.

“Baby ohh   no oh oh, I’m sorry that this is a monologue. Oh, actually, I love you, yeah..” I trailed off letting my voice ring through my walls as a tear fell from my eyes.

“I love you, Krystal..” I said as a monologue as more tears follows.

“If only our long-time hidden secrets were revealed, I would hold you in my arms.” Someone continued. I turned around only to find her, body and flesh, looking at me. I quickly wipe my tears hoping she didn’t see them.

“K-krystal.. W-why a-are you.. H-how did you..” I kept on stuttering.

“Your door’s unlocked.” She said. “C-can’t I see you anymore?” She asks.

“N-no.. I mean yes, yes! Y-yes, of course you could still see me. I-it’s just a-aren’t you supposed to be with.. With..” I trailed off not really wanting say his name.

“With Kai?” She asks, I just nodded looking anywhere but her.

“Do you want me to be with him instead of being here?” She asks.

“H-he’s your b-b-boyfriend s-so it’s expected that you would be with h-him..”

“You’re not answering the question, Amber. Do you want me to be with him?”

“Y-yes.” I said really wanting to tell her otherwise.

“I heard what you said. You love me.” My eyes immediately went to her.

“I-it’s nothing.” I quickly defended myself.

“It’s nothing? You just said you loved me and it’s nothing?” She asked me venomously her eyes accusing. “B-because to me it meant everything..” She said, it’s now her time to look away and my eyes widened. Why is she telling me this.

“All these years, I was only waiting for you tell me those words. I waited for too long, Amber! A very ing long time for me to hear those words come out of your mouth and you’re telling me it’s just nothing???” She said, tears fall from her eyes.

“Would it make a difference if I tell you that back then?” I ask her calmly.

“I don’t know, maybe.” She said. Her voice calmed down.

“T-the reason why came here is because I miss you. I can’t keep on fooling myself anymore.”

“W-what are you talking about, Krystal?” My heart started beating fast. What is she trying to say?

“I tried dating Kai because I was only trying to forget you. Back then, I would wake up everyday wishing I would finally hear those words come out your mouth because I knew we had something, but that day never came. So when he asked me out I thought I would give him a try that maybe I could forget my feelings for you and that maybe I really like guys. But I can’t fool myself anymore. I tried giving him my full attention everytime we’re together but everytime I’m with him I would always see you, I would imagine you doing what he does. Now, when I decided to finally tell you what I really feel I suddenly heard you singing our song and you said you love me, I thought I shouldn’t let this moment pass because that’s all I’ve ever been wanting all these years.” She said as she cries.

I don’t know how to respond to that but all I know is that I am beyond ecstatic knowing what she feels.

So without second thoughts I enveloped her in an embrace. She held on to my shirt and rested her head on my chest. I let her cry as I her back.

“Sshhh, Don’t cry. I’m sorry okay?” I told her.

I held her face and wiped her tears with my thumb. “I should’ve fought my feelings for you. I’m sorry that I’ve been a coward. Please let me make it up to you.” I told her.

“Only if you kiss me and say that you love me.” she said.

Without having any hesitations I kissed her on the lips pouring all my emotions out hoping it would make up to my cowardice. After a few seconds I let go of the kiss and look her straight in her eyes. “I love you, Krystal.” I said to her she smiled.

“I haven’t told you yet my favorite part of our song.” She said,

“Our song, huh?” I .

“It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you made that song for me, Amber.” She said and I just laughed at it.

“So, what’s your favorite part?” I ask her.

“Your rap of course.” She said and it only brought happiness within me. “And one more thing, Amber.. A princess doesn’t want some metroual prince who asks slaves to do things for him but she would rather choose her servant who would be loyal and will love her to no ends.”