Twenty Nine – The Dream

Ahyoung’s Point of View

I don’t care about what happened last night with Jongin and even with… Sehun. Well I cared, a lot. But what should I do? What can I do? Seriously, nothing. Jongin would never listen to me and my so called excuse – and I can’t even tell him about the real that happened.

Unless Mark and Miyoung allow me. No way, they wouldn’t want to risk their life for Jongin. I might be selfish but I don’t want Jongin to be worried about Miyoung more than he should be; more than the normal one. Because his heart is weak and fragile, it’s scary how he could leave me anytime soon… and it’s scarier if Miyoung’s the one who will make him leave.

I just kissed Sehun last night and I even let myself to be ed by Chanyeol – and here I am indirectly blocking Jongin from any girl. Selfish? Yes, I’m selfish and greedy as when it comes to Jongin.

Today I even skipped my class when Minha called me that Miyoung’s back already at home. She was gone for these days since she wanted to break up with Mark and it’s enough to make Mark crazy. “But, Miyoung said that if you bring Mark or just simply telling Mark that she’s at home, she’ll never come back again.” That was the last sentence she said on the line.

Okay, she might be not ready yet to meet Mark so I just drove by myself to her place.

As soon as I entered her room, she looked at me with that tired-but-still-trying-to-smile face. I hugged her as soon I as I entered, can’t even look at her face because it hurts me a lot. On how she held the pain while aborting the baby, on how she held the pain while looking at Mark, and on how she held the pain when she suddenly remembered about her baby.

She might be strong outside, but I know that she’s very fragile inside just like Jongin.

“So, where have you been these days?”

She smiled, “I’m here. I just told my sister and my mom to don’t ever let Mark know that I’m here. I told them that we broke up already and I don’t want to see his face anymore.”

“Miyoung, you’re torturing yourself.”

“I’m not torturing myself, if I choose to be selfish and stay with him… then I’m torturing him. You know what? He still hasn’t submitted the form yet. I thought if I abort the baby then he could leave. But… seems like he’s staying. It hurts me a lot, Ahyoung. How could he choose me instead his dream?”

“It’s because he doesn’t want to leave you and the pain that he gave to you, Miyoung. He’s just being responsible.”

“Responsible my ! If he’s responsible then he would choose his dream.”

“Because he loves you.”

“I know, Ahyoung. I know about his feeling more than anyone else, but how could I make him stay with me when his another self is wanting to go to Oxford? I’m not a greedy, selfish .”

Yes, you’re wise and you can separate personal and business thingy. Unlike me the greedy, selfish . Her words are indirectly hitting me hard because… she’s really my opposite. “And what are you going to do now? Even if you broke up, he’s still staying. Unless you two talk and clear this .”

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