.:6:. Fake : Serious
Have You Ever
♫ Yang Yoseob ♫
I walk closer to the outdoor stage with Hari. Gikwang is gazing at the sky, not aware of our presence. I take a quick glance at Hari, hoping that she is alright.
I'm happy that she smiled when we were at my secret place, the basement. I never brought someone else there before, not even Gikwang. Let's say sometimes I need time to be alone and the basement is my hiding place from the world.
"Hey," I greet Gikwang calmly and he returns it with a cheerful grin.
"Hey," he approaches us with his hands in his pockets. His eyes shift to Hari and he suddenly reaches out his hand, touching her cheeks with his fingers, "Did you cry?"
Hari steps backwards quickly, obviously blushing. Whether it's because of Gikwang's touch or she forgot that she just cried really hard, making her eyes are swollen.
"Ah, Sunhyun is right, I broke your heart, didn't I?" Gikwang sighs and bows at Hari. "I'm sorry, Hari. I wasn't thinking clearly."
I turn to Hari and I can see she is clenching her fists in silence. I know she must be really heart broken now, not because of Gikwang's apology, but because Gikwang mentioned Sunhyun.
I know how it feels. I felt worse when Hari told me that she's in love with Gikwang.
"Yes, you did," Hari murmurs, looking at the ground. When Gikwang looks up to see his face, Hari sticks out her tongue playfully. "You made me cry, Lee Gikwang, and you owe me something to make me happy again!"
Gikwang laughs and quickly steps forward, ruffling her hair with excitement, "Yah, little girl! You know I don't want to see you cry!"
I blink in confusion. How could Hari change her expression that easy? She just cried because of him, she's in love with him, and now she is smiling after the one she loves mentioned another girl's name?
"Smile, Hari," Gikwang pinches her cheeks to make her smile. "I'm going to talk with Doojoon Hyung. I'll try to find the best solution for us, okay?"
"I know, I know," Hari chuckles, struggling from the pinch. She offers Gikwang her hand, "So, friends?"
Gikwang takes her offer, shaking hands with a wide smile, "Forever friends."
I'm surprised that there is no change of expression on Hari's face. She smiles sheepishly and then pulls her hand away slowly, "Let's have dinner together again tonight. Sunhyun's place?"
Gikwang looks excited and says, "Sure! She is in our basecamp. I'll grab my stuff first. Wait for us at the yard!"
He leaves me and Hari alone as he walks to their basecamp to talk with Sunhyun. Gikwang must feel better now that Hari is joking around again with him; she even asked him to have a dinner together.
"Hari...," I look at her sadly. I don't know what I must say to her because I know she is forcing herself to fake a smile in front of Gikwang.
"Hmm?" that's all she mumbles. She walks pass me, heading to the stage where Gikwang sat before we came. She steps on the stage and sits at the edge of the stage, right where Gikwang sat before.
A sad smile curved on her lips as her eyes lock at the sky, "The sunset."
I trail her sight and I find the sun is setting down, making the sky to look both lonely and beautiful in the same time. I look at her again and, for my surprise, she looks at me with a smile.
"This is the first stage where Musique won the annual competition of art festival," she suddenly starts a conversation. She swings her legs back and forth. "The day where we vowed to work at our best together. The day where we promised ourselves to be the best."
Hari stops swinging her legs. She looks at me with a forced smile, "The day I fell in love with Gikwang."
My heart skips a beat again. It's aching because I know she is forcing the smile. It's racing because I remember the day as good as how she remembers it.
It's the day I realized that Hari has captivated me. She has her special place in my heart. When I saw her smile when Musique was announced as the winner, when she smiled at me, I knew my heart goes to her all the way.
"Why...," I clear my throat awkwardly, "...don't you tell him about your feeling?"
"And ruin my friendship with him?" she replies with sarcasm. Hari shakes her head slowly, "I'm not going to bet my friendship on the line because of my selfishness, Yoseob."
"But what if someday he leaves for another girl?" I blurt out. I don't know what's going in my mind. I just want to know what her reaction will be. "Have you ever thought about it?"
"Of course I have," Hari sighs heavily. She intertwines her fingers together and stare at them. "If the day comes, there is nothing I can do other than praying for his happiness."
Silence. I don't know what to say to her anymore. Honestly, I feel stupid. How could I say such a thing to her when I'm not different from her?
I am hiding my feeling from her. I have a chance to lose her for another man someday. I may ruin our good frienship that we have now. I am standing on the same position with Hari.
"I just need to stay like this, as his best friend, like what I always do. I could stay for 6 months till now. What made it different now?" Hari jumps down from the stage and walks to me. She pats my shoulder twice and smiles, "Thanks for listening to me. Let's go. I'm going to prepare the dinner tonight."
Hari walks pass me, heading to the yard, the place where she promised to meet up with Gikwang and Sunhyun.
I stand still. A lot of things cross my mind.
How long does she plan to hold on like this? A year? Two years? Can she stay with the fake smiles when she is with Gikwang, pretending that she's alright?
"Yang Yoseob," I murmur to myself and smile in irony, "the same thing goes to you."
♫ Cho Sunhyun ♫
"I'm going to make pudding! Do you want some, Hari?" I ask her, preparing four plates for each of us. I check my ingredients to prepare the pudding. "Chocolate?"
"Sure," Hari answers, not stopping her hand from preparing the curry rice. I know she is going to agree because she really likes my chocolate pudding.
We are having dinner at my apartment. I'm glad that Hari and Gikwang don't show any negative atmosphere. Well, Gikwang told me that Hari was the one who suggested to have dinner together tonight so it means she isn't mad or sad anymore.
Both Gikwang and Yoseob are at the main room, discussing about random stuff including music. Since Yoseob is studying under Department of Composition, he sometimes helps us for writing music as well.
We have talked to Doojoon and he told us that we don't need to worry because the event will be held for three days so practically we can perform on another day; he gives us the time during the last day.
But there is actually a little thing I haven't told to Hari and Gikwang about the event. I'm sure Doojoon doesn't know it as well, or maybe he does know but he chooses to keep silence.
Yuseon and two of her best friends will be there on the last day; that's why I refused to perform on the last day at first but I can't help it now.
They will perform a short musical performance of Hansel and Gretel. Yuseon is studying under Department of Acting and she told me once that she will be trying to be an actress soon.
Sometimes when I think about her, I can't help to wonder why Gikwang must met her at the first place. They don't study under one school: Gikwang is under School of Music while Yuseon is under School of Drama.
If there is someone who needs to be blamed because of their bad ending, it must be me. Yes, I was the one who introduced them to each other. Gikwang was my classmates during the first year while I met Yuseon when we had a cross-school project for charity.
When they were announced as a couple, I congratulated them without any thought, hoping they would be together forever. When I found that Yuseon was cheating, I felt really guilty because both of them were my best friends.
I spent most of my times to cheer Gikwang up after the broke up. He was betrayed by Yuseon, the one he loved and his best friend, the one he trusted. But it's a good thing that he's an optimistic person so he quickly adapted with new things in life.
I dare to say that Hari and Yoseob also one of the reasons of his cheerfulness now. They have been good friends with Gikwang through all these times.
"Yah, Sunhyun, can I ask you a question?" Hari's question snaps me back to reality. I look at her but her eyes are still locked on the curry rice.
"Sure," I say, preparing the pudding carefully. "What is it?"
"If Gikwang tells you that he likes you, what will you say to him?" Hari checks the curry rice. She doesn't change her expression at all as if she is asking me an ordinary question.
"Eh?" I tilt my head, feeling something is unusual about her question. "Why so sudden? What's up with the question?"
"Nothing. Just random question. I'm just wondering what will happen if my groupmates are dating," she takes a spoon to check the taste. "It will be a really big news."
After Gikwang asked me about Hari and Yoseob, now it's her turn to ask me about my relationship with Gikwang? They are so cute.
"So?" Hari looks at me when I chuckle because of my own thought. "What will you say to him?"
"Is there any girl who will reject him?" I joke, giggling as I continue with the pudding. "He is the most popular and perfect guy."
After seconds of silence, Hari murmurs vividly, "I see..."
I stop all of my activities in a sudden. I stare at Hari, frowning with disbelief but she just keeps the calm expression on her face, not looking at me but at the curry rice.
"Yah, Hari, don't tell me you...," I hold my breathe. I can't even ask the question properly since I never imagined myself asking Hari about it.
"Yes?" Hari is done with the curry rice. She takes a plate and a spoon together, putting a portion of curry rice for one person on the plate.
"Do you like Gikwang?" I finally say it out.
"Well, he is the most ideal type for all girls, isn't he?" Hari looks at me with a mysterious smile. "What do you think, Sunhyun?"
I approach her and hold her shoulders with my arms, shaking her slightly, "Yah, Hari. Are you serious? You like him? I was kidding before. You know that!"
"Easy, girl," Hari chuckles at my reaction. "I never said that I like him. I asked you about what do you think."
I sigh in relief, knowing that she is only teasing me. Sometimes because of her sarcasm, I can't differentiate whether she is only joking or being serious.
"Yeah, there is no way you're going to like that arrogant boy," I laugh nervously. It's not that I'm not happy if they become a couple; I just never imagined Hari and Gikwang together.
"Ah, so you think that way," Hari smiles again but her smile is really different from her usual sarcastic smile. She takes two plates full of curry rice, "Thank you for the answer."
My heart feels uneasy suddenly. I feel that she is hiding something from me.
"Hari," I call her name when she is walking to the main room where Gikwang and Yoseob are. She stops and waits for my words. "You're not serious, aren't you?"
Even though I don't look at her face, I know she smirks when she answers calmly, "I'll let you assume the answer, Sunhyun."
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