.:32:. One : Continue
Have You Ever
♫ Yoon Hari ♫
"I'm on my way there," I say to Yoseob from the phone as I lock the door of our basecamp. "There are hundreds letters for Sunhyun. How is she doing there?"
"Good. The doctor said she can start her routinity again in three days as long as she avoid using her right shoulder," Yoseob answers me calmly. "Do you want me to pick you? Gikwang is here so I can leave for now."
"It's alright," I step out from the building. "I will buy something for you. You haven't ate right?"
"Ah," I can hear his tone and I even know his answer before he says it. "I ate with Sunhyun just now. I'm sorry, Hari. I'll accompany you to eat here, okay?"
I stop my step unconsciously. I take a deep breath and answer him as calm as possible, "No, it's alright. I had lunch after class. Wait for me then."
I lie to Yoseob. Again.
I haven't eaten anything since morning but I don't want him to feel guilty because I am slightly disappointed by the fact I can't eat with him.
I left the hospital with Gikwang to find Changsun. We step in the taxi and head to Changsun's apartment; Gikwang visited that place once in a while when they're still best friends.
Things went through my mind and my heart was aching real bad.
When I finally remembered everything, this incident happened. I remembered it was Changsun who met me in front of my house that day and he was the one who asked Yoseob to meet him; I never imagined he would do something like this.
I took a glance at Gikwang as he was looking through the window. What was he thinking now? The one who used to be his best friend, the one who cheated behind him, now became the person who caused Sunhyun to be like this.
No one talked even after we arrived at Changsun's apartment. Gikwang walked to his room and knocked it impatiently, "I know you're inside, Changsun. Open the door."
He knocked again but still no respond. I stepped closer to the door, "Changsun? It's me, Hari. Please open the door. I need to talk to you."
There were seconds of silence before Changsun opened the door with pale face. He stepped out from his room and locked it.
"You better have a good explanation," Gikwang hissed with dangerous tone. "Sunhyun is in hospital now. Her shoulder is fractured!"
"I didn't mean to harm her, Gikwang! I know she is your best friend! It's for that Yang Yoseob!" Changsun blurted out with fear. "It's just to scare him! I didn't know that it could hurt people!"
Changsun turned to me, "I asked a friend of mine to create a little time bomb. I thought it won't be dangerous. I just wanted to scare him."
"What did Yoseob do to you?!" Gikwang grabbed his collar. "Why can't you just leave me and my life in peace, Changsun?!"
"I'm your best friend, Gikwang!" Changsun replied. "Hari is belong with you but that little rascal stole her from you! I help you, Gikwang! I want to do an amend for what I did to you!"
"Yoseob stole Hari from me?" Gikwang released his collar. "You were the one who stole Yuseon. Yoseob is my best friend, Changsun. What kind of amend are you trying to do for me?!"
"I want you to be happy with Hari," Changsun pleaded."I thought you and Hari will be a couple. That moment we can be best friends again, right? Don't you miss the moments of us together? Playing music, watching movies."
"So you can steal the one I love again from me?" Gikwang scoffed while my heart skipped a beat because of his statement. "Changsun, I'm going to report you to the police."
"N-No. P-Please, Gikwang," Changsun grabbed his sleeve. "I'm your best friend, right? I will apologize to Sunhyun. I promise. I didn't mean to-"
"Enough," I muttered. I looked at Changsun with confusion. "Who are you to decide who I belong to?"
Gikwang stared at me and I continued, "Leave him, Gikwang. Let's go. We need to meet Sunhyun."
Gikwang complained to me all the way, feeling unsatisfied that I let Changsun away that easy.
"Hari," Gikwang grabbed my wrist to stop me from ignoring him. "It's not your fault. If there is someone who needs to be blamed, it's me. Changsun tried to befriend me again. He is being ridiculous!"
I pulled my hand away from him. I remembered that I loved him and I knew he loved me. But Yoseob had been there for me all the times.
"Let's not talk about it," I avoided to look his eyes.
Both Yoseob and Sunhyun agreed to let Changsun go unless he does something again to us. We hide this fact from the fans while the fans are cursing the culprit after they found out that Sunhyun is in hospital.
"Sunhyun," I enter her ward and put a basket of fruits on the table. Gikwang is playing his guitar; he doesn't smile when our eyes meet. I turn to Sunhyun and smile, "Do you feel better?"
"Kind of," Sunhyun grins while Yoseob gives me his chair to sit. "How's your project?"
"Good," I sit after flash a smile to Yoseob. We start to talk about random stuffs after I hand over letters from her fans.
Yoseob and Gikwang laugh along when she reads a flirting letter from one of her fans.
Looking at both of them, I feel dilemma again. I haven't told Yoseob that I have remembered everything. I tried to act as usual because I feel that my heart still hasn't chose yet.
I do love Gikwang but maybe, just maybe, Yoseob is the one for me.
♫ Cho Sunhyun ♫
"See you tomorrow," I bid Hari goodbye and she waves at me. Gikwang follows her behind; he bids me and Yoseob goodbye before closing the door behind him.
A week have passed since I spent nights in hospital. Yoseob has been accompanying me most of the times. As long as he has free times, he will stay with me.
Honestly speaking, I'm really happy to have him by my side but whenever Hari comes, I remind myself that he loves Hari, not me. He is doing all of these because he feels guilty.
No matter how many times I told him to shrug it off, he ignored me. I secretly wished that he will keep treating me this way even after I heal.
But I know it's pointless.
"Why don't you send her instead of Gikwang?" I ask Yoseob when he is tidying the table. "Aren't you jealous?"
"A little," Yoseob answers shortly. "If Gikwang doesn't want to return, I will accompany her for sure. I mean he is still her best friend, right?"
I sigh heavily. I can see that Hari and Gikwang are avoiding each other ever since they met Changsun. I wonder what are they thinking.
"Sunhyun," Yoseob sits on his usual chair again, "why won't you give up on me?"
My heart skips a beat as he continues, "You know I love Hari. I am going to hurt you even more, right?"
I smile sadly and tell him my honest answer, "Because you're worth everything."
Yoseob stares at me for seconds and then he closes his eyes, "I don't know you are this strong, Sunhyun."
I chuckle and reach out my left hand to touch his cheek, making him to flinch a little, "You made me strong, Yoseob. Hari is really lucky to have you."
Yoseob takes my hand and looks in my eyes. I'm sure my face is burning because my heart is beating uncontrollably right now.
"Y-You know," I try to break the awkward silence, "I'm trying to write something too. Can you give me my phone?"
Yoseob releases my hand, handing over my phone. I show him the words I arranged which I saved in my phone, "I know it's far from good but what does Yoseob the composer think?"
"I know I can't have you
It's a heartbreaking one sided love
It's only a love of a friend
Breathlessly, I love you
I only love you
Please know that my mind is only for you"
I wrote it the night I confessed to Yoseob. It's only some words but I wish someday I can write the complete lyrics so it can be composed as a song.
His lips turn into a dazzling smile, "It's good. Really good. Remind me to compose the music for you once you complete the lyrics."
"Is that a promise?" I tilt my head, wondering if I heard it right.
"Yes, it's a promise," Yoseob gives me his pinky finger. "One day we'll sing it together."
I link my pinky finger with his, smiling happily.
Is it alright for me to continue loving him?
__________
Author's Note:
The lyrics are inspired from "Love of A Friend", a song by U-Kiss
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