It's been weeks since that day, that day when she agreed to be Kai's girlfriend. It hurts not because we broke up, but because the company wanted us to stop seeing each other. They said it's a big mistake if the public would know about us. We knew that, so we were being careful not to be too obvious. As much as we wanted to go on dates like normal couples do, we can't. We can't let others see us eating dinner outside or going on amusement park trips without any speculations. Even if we try to act normal, people would still say something about us, that we are dating, and of course that is unacceptable.

"Amber, how many times do I have to tell you to stop acting so sweetly towards Krystal?" My manager said. "Why can't you understand that?"

"Oppa, I'm trying okay? We are trying. But our actions come out naturally because we are in lo-."

"Stop." he said with his palm facing me. "Stop right there. Don't even say it."

"Why can't I?" I asked in an annoyed tone. "Why can't I say it? Because I'm a girl? Because Korea is so homophobic?"

"Amber!"

"What?! It's the truth! This damn country is homophobic! What's wrong if Krystal and I are in love? When was loving someone ever wrong?"

"It's wrong because you're not just anybody! You're celebrities! Eyes are on you 24/7 and having this kind of scandal will ruin your lives and the company!"

"But oppa, that's so unfair! How about Sulli? She can do whatever she wants!"

"But did you see what she got in return? There are tons of haters bashing on her every move!"

"Well at least she's happy! How about me? Can't I be happy?" My voice was starting to tremble as tears form from my eyes. "I'm so tired of this." I walked towards the couch and settled myself. "I'm so tired of trying to fit in... of defending myself... of making people understand who I am and who I am not. Until when will I do this? When will they be open about this?"

"Amber, not all people are like us. Only a few choose to be open-minded, and there are still a hundred of those who aren't." My manager sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Right now, there's nothing you can do about that so please, just listen to me and do what I say."

"So I'm the problem?" Oppa was startled with what I said. "I'm the reason why we're having this argument, right oppa?"

"Amber..."

"Come on, admit it... There's nothing wrong with Krystal. I'm the one causing a mess here. It has always been me." I looked straight at oppa's eyes and all he could do was nod.

"Mr. Kim is not very happy with how things are going with you and Krystal."

"So... what is he up to now?"

"He has set up a meeting with you, Krystal, and Kai. The managers will be there too, of course."

"For what?"

"Just wait until tomorrow." said manager oppa and started to leave.

"Why with Kai?" I asked again.

"Tomorrow, Amber." he said and went out the door.

I dialed Krystal's number after that.

"Hey Am..."

"Krys... Are you already home?"

"I'm still on the way... maybe 15 minutes... Why?"

"I... I just want to see you..."

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm tired, Krys." I said and I know she didn't understand what I meant.

"I'll be home soon, okay? Get some rest first. I'll call you when I'm home so we could meet. I love you."

"I love you."

A few minutes later, I heard my phone ring and it was Krystal. I quickly put on my face mask and a hoodie to cover my whole being and drove to where she is.

"Hey~" she greeted and locked me in her embrace. "I missed you today~" she said while squeezing me tighter.

"I missed you, too." I returned the hug and inhaled the scent of her hair. When we pulled away, she caught my eyes and her expression suddenly changed.

"Am? Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"Yes... me..." I simply said.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm wrong for you, Krys."

"What are you saying?" She gave me a good look. "Why are you saying that?"

"Manager oppa and I talked this afternoon about you and me... He said that Mr. Kim disapproves of us... Once we're caught, we'll ruin the name of our company..." I held her hand. "Krys, I'm the problem. All of this, is because of me... If only I were a guy, things would be much easier. But I'm not. I'm just me. I'm just Amber."

"Am, there's nothing wrong with you. You're a good person, that's why I love you."

"And that's why I love you too, because you accepted me." I took a deep breath. "Thank you, Krys."

"Come here." she said and hugged me tight.

"But Krys, has your manager mentioned to you about our meeting tomorrow?"

"About what?"

"We have a meeting with Mr. Kim. Kai will be there, too..."

"Kai? Why?"

"I don't know. Manager oppa didn't want to tell me himself."

"That's so strange."

"Yeah..."

"Well, let's not stress ourselves, okay? Come on, spend the night here."

"What if there are paparazzi's outside?"

"Then let's tell Luna unnie to come over, okay?"

"Okay..." 

We called Luna so she could spend the night with us in Krystal's apartment to avoid speculations about me and Krystal again. I really hate this. I can't understand why we need to do this but, for the sake of our company, this is what we do.

The next day, I went back to my apartment to wash up and went to SM Entertainment with my manager. Krystal and I purposely didn't go together so people won't make a fuss about it. When I reached the conference room, Kai and his manager are already there. By the look on his face, I can tell that he was also clueless about why he was there. I sent a message to Krystal, asking if she's already on her way. A few seconds later, she replied that she's walking down the halls. Moments later, the door opened, revealing her and her manager. She sat next to me and that made my manager look at me while faintly shaking his head sideways.  All of us were quietly waiting for Mr. Kim. 

I bit my lip as the door flung open. Mr. Kim headed to his seat and all I could do was swallow the lump in my throat. With his expression, I knew that this meeting won't bring any good. I could feel it.

"Good morning my dear artists." he greeted and we did the same "I will just discuss this matter quickly since I have more meetings to attend to." He rested his hands on the table, making himself comfortable. "Amber and Krystal, whatever is going on between you two should stop." His eyes were directed towards us. "I don't want to know exactly what it is, but the pictures, the interactions, everything, must come to an end." As Mr. Kim was speaking, I felt Krystal grab my hand which was on my lap and intertwined our fingers. "That's why Kai is here." He looked at the confused guy across the table. "He will be Krystal's boyfriend."

"What?" The three of us said at the same time.

"You heard me right."

"But how?" asked Krystal's manager.

"Simple. They will be dating."

"B-but sir, how can we date? I don't even like him." Krystal said.

"But he likes you, right Kai?" Our eyes were on him. He glanced at me, then to Krystal. "Kai?"

"Uh... sir..."

"You like her, don't you?" Mr. Kim asked firmly.

"Y-yes, sir." Kai answered in a low voice. 

"Good! No problem here then." he said before preparing to leave.

"Sir? Why do they need to do this?" I stood up that made Krystal let go of my hand.

"Amber..." said my manager in a low voice.

"What is that, Amber?" said Mr. Kim.

"Why do you need to force Krystal to date Kai?" I asked boldly though I was shaking inside.

"So people could forget about KryBer." he said and left. The room turned cold. Everyone didn't expect such a scene.

"Amber noona..." I heard Kai say. I looked at him.

"Is it true?" I asked. "Do you like Krystal?"

"Am..." Krystal said and held my arm. "Let's go." 

"I just need to know." I told her. I looked at Kai again as I waited for his answer.

"Yes noona, I like her. But I don't have any intentions of stealing her away from you. I didn't know about this noona."

"I know Kai. All of us didn't know."

"So what will happen now?" asked Krystal's manager. No one could give an answer.

"What if we just call it a day, shall we?" said Kai's manager. "The announcement was too much to handle for all of us. Kai and I will get going now." Kai and his manager left while Krystal and I are still in shock. We asked our managers to give us some time alone. When our managers left, I slumped myself on the chair. I feel so helpless. 

"Am... Let's go home..." Krystal said.

"Krys... I'm so sorry..." Krystal sat on the chair in front of me and held my hand.

"Why are you saying sorry?"

"You're in this situation because of me." I looked at her. "I'm not good for you. I know you're so stressed about everything. I'm so sorry..."

"Amber, don't say that." she cupped my faced in her hands. "They are the problem, not you."

"Krys... what if they are right? What if you just date Kai so we will not have a problem like this?"

"What?!" she said and stood up. "I can't believe you just said that!"

"Krys think about it... If you'll date him, then all the Kryber scandals will be erased. Fans ship you with Kai, so might as well make it real."

"Can you hear what you're saying Amber?! What the hell is wrong with you!" She walked towards me and held my shoulders. "Why are you pushing me to a guy I don't love? You're the one I love Amber! I love you!!!"

"But this is wrong!" I shouted back. "Not for us, but for the rest of the world. They can't understand us! And I'm so sick of making them understand! I can't stand seeing you going through this craziness because you are with me! I can't watch you go through this anymore! If you date Kai, you'll have a normal life. People would even congratulate you for having a boyfriend like him and they would do the same to him, too. You don't deserve someone like me. I'm a walking embarrassment. You deserve so much better."

"So you're breaking up with me because you care more about the company's image than what we feel." she said while wiping her tears. "I never thought you'd be like this. If this is what you want, then we're over. Maybe you're right, loving you was wrong after all." she said and immediately left the conference room.

I cried almost every night after that day. She hasn't talked to me and I could understand why. I pushed her away but I didn't do that for myself, I did it for her. I want her to have a normal life. I don't want people to talk about her, say bad things about her because every word breaks my heart. She doesn't fight back unlike me, I could somehow voice out what I want to say through my songs and SNS accounts. But Krystal, she just stays silent.

After the news broke out, I decided to block myself from everything. I focused more on work and I avoided thinking about them as much as possible. When their dating photos surfaced online, I checked on the comments from the fans and most of them were positive. Their relationship was more acceptable than ours and I couldn't be happier. Finally, Krystal is happy because I'm out of her life.

A MONTH LATER

I'm here in my apartment, ready to spend the whole night with my computer. Scott and I are doing a project and it's my job to do the editing. Believe me, putting a single music video together is no joke. We need to consider a lot of things like sound effects, color palette, and of course, the flow of the video itself. But even though it's time consuming, I still enjoy doing it because it makes me express myself more. Somehow I could say that there's still something good coming from me that I could be proud of.

About Krystal, she's busy in China for her movie. I heard filming ended already but maybe she would be promoting her endorsements there, too that's why she often flies there. Since she and Kai became public, I noticed that she got more expressive through her SNS accounts. She often updates on Weibo and that's a good thing, right? Maybe not having anything to hide gave her a sense of freedom, the freedom she can't have when she was with me. Anyway, I need to finish this video before Scott starts to nag me about it.

After a few hours, I heard the front door open. Probably Scott.

"Scotty?" I called out but no one answered. "Scotty is that you? Hey, don't you go gobbling my Hot Cheetos in the kitchen. That's mine!" I shouted without looking away from the monitor.

"I see you're still busy with your DPR projects." Wait, that doesn't sound like Scott. I looked at the direction of the voice and saw Krystal standing by the door. My eyes went wide as my body froze. I was just staring at her, refusing to believe that she's right in front of me. "Won't you even offer me a seat?" I heard her say and I immediately handed her a chair and went back to where I was again. We're having a good amount of awkward silence before she spoke again. "How are you?"

"I'm... I'm okay... You?"

"I'm okay, too." There was silence.

"I thought you were in China..."

"Yeah, I just got back today."

"Oh... So... how was China?"

"Uhm... good... but I wish you taught me Chinese when we were together... That would've come in handy." She didn't look mad when she said that and it made me feel relieved.

"Yeah... but Kai knows Chinese, doesn't he?" I said.

"He does... but we barely see each other... since he's so busy with Exo activities and all..."

"Oh... maybe he'll teach you some time..." I smiled. There was silence again. This is the most awkward situation I have been into in a long time. I don't know if it's okay that she's here, and why she's here. But if I ask her, won't I sound so rude? Then my thoughts were interrupted when she spoke.

"Do you miss me?" She asked while looking straight at me. "Or... did you ever miss me after we broke up?" My heart was beating so fast, like I'm having a heart attack. I just nodded my head as an answer. "Then why didn't you come after me?"

"Because... I want to be out of your life. That's the only way for you to be free from this mess."

"Then you're selfish..."

"I know... I'm sorry."

"I really hate you." she said in a shaky voice. "I hate you so much."

"And you should..." I moved closer to her and held her hands. "Sorry for being such a pain for you. I'm really sorry." I said while wiping her tears. "But you have Kai now, you should be happy."

"But how can I when I'm still in love with you..." she said. "I still love you Amber."

"But Krys... you know it's impossible..."

"You're gonna push me away again? You're gonna think about the company again? What about us, Amber? What about you? Do you really want me to be with Kai? Do you really want me to be away from you?" 

"Krys... if we do this again, we'll go back to hiding... And I can't put you through that again..."

"But I want to... because I want to be with you." She pulled me in her arms and I've never felt so alive. "Amber, I love you. Aren't I enough? Why should you care about anyone else?"

"Krys..."

"Do you love me?" She pulled away to see my face. "Amber, do you love me?" I stared at her glistening eyes before answering.

"I do." she smiled at me before planting a kiss on my lips. 

"I missed that." she said. "But it would be better if you kissed back." she said with her teethy smile. I leaned forward and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. 

"I love you." I said with my eyes welling up because of happiness. "Sorry for everything. I won't let you go this time."

"Good." she said and hugged me tightly. "You are everything and more to me, Amber. Never forget that."

"I won't. I love you."

"I love you, too."

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Author's note: Hello. I had this idea and just needed to write it down. For those who are still waiting for my Make Your Move update, I'll try working on it soon. For grammar errors, sorry. I'll edit tomorrow. :)