We are in our dorm room, cuddling on the bed but my thoughts are somewhere else. She's doing this again, and I need to ask this question which has been bugging me for a while now.

"Krys, what are we?"

"Hmm?" She didn't bother to look at me and kept her attention on the television as she intertwined her hand with mine.

"What are we?" I repeated and this time she turned her head to face me but didn't give an answer. The look she has on her face shows that she's clueless about my question. "Do I need to ask again?" I asked.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I want to know."

"Am, is the answer really important? Aren't you contented with how we are?"

"How we are? You mean this? Hugging, cuddling, flirting?" I scooted a little far from her, freeing myself from her arms. "Is this just how you want us to be? What exactly is this?" My eyes are glued on hers. I'm not mad. I'm more of frustrated.

"Am..." she pulled me closer to her and returned to our cuddling position before. "I don't know what we are... all I know is I enjoy having you close to me... like this."

"So this means we are allowed to go on dates with other people, right?" We were staring at each other. I studied the expression she has now and I could tell she's thinking deeply. "I could go on dates, okay?" I said. "And so could you."

"Okay..." she answered in an expressionless tone. She let go from our hug and lay down on her side of the bed. "So if we go on dates, does that mean we can't sleep in the same room anymore?" I heard her ask. I looked at her as she fixed her gaze at the ceiling.

"It's up to you." I said. "I mean, we are roomies, right?" She turned her gaze at me. "Just roomies." It took her a couple of seconds before she spoke.

"Yeah... roomies."

After that, we just stayed silent until both of us fell asleep but it was the first time for us to spend the night not hugging each other.

Just a few weeks after, I asked one of our classmates to watch a movie with me. We will be going out on Friday and I am somehow looking forward to it. Shannon is a really cool girl and I've always wanted to have a conversation with her.

Friday came and as soon as classes ended, I rushed to the dorm to freshen up. While I was in the shower, I heard our dorm room open which means Krystal is already home. Good thing I brought a shirt and a pair of shorts inside the bathroom. I went out while drying my hair with a towel.

"Heading somewhere?" she asked.

"Yeah... going to the movies. "I said casually.

"Really? W-with whom?"

"With Shannon."

"Oh... What  movie are you going to watch?"

"It depends on what she likes..."

"I heard she enjoys horror movies."

"Yeah?" Oh no. Of all the movie genres, why that?

"You're gonna watch a horror movie if she wants to?" 

"Yup. I can handle that, don't worry." I smiled and gave myself one last look at the mirror. "I'll get going now. Bye Krys!"

"Have fun." I heard her say faintly. I shouldn't feel guilty right? I mean we are not together and we talked about it.

I think it's time to let whatever we have go. 

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She's on a date with Shannon. Why her? She could've asked someone else out but why did she ask the girl I'm so insecure about? Fair complexion, perfect face, nice smile. Everything about her is pretty and it's so annoying!

I turned the tv on, slouched on the bed and uninterestedly flipped through the channels. I just can't get that date off of my mind. I sat up straight and uttered to myself, "If Amber can do it, then so can I!" I took my phone out and scanned through my contacts. "Date... date... date... I need to go on a date too..." I said to myself. I continued scrolling until a name caught my attention. Jonghyun... he's pretty interesting... and I could feel he's somewhat into me... should I give it a try? It's a weekend after all.

I quickly typed a message asking Jonghyun to go bike riding with me at the park tomorrow and just like what I predicted, he said yes with a lot of emojis and exclamation points. I kept my mind busy about what I would be wearing tomorrow. I think denim shorts and a loose shirt would fit our date. And the bike, I'll just borrow Amber's. I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

Just when I was about to sleep, I heard the door knob click open meaning Amber is here. I heard her footsteps travel to her side of the bed and felt her weight making the bed shake a little as she sat.

"Hey..." she turned halfway to face me.

"Oh hey..."

"So... how was your movie date?"

"It's great." she said with a smile.

"Did you also have dinner? Where?"

"Uh yeah... We ate dinner after the movie. I'm glad she also loves sushi."

"Then that's good." I said. "I'll sleep now."

"Okay, good night Krys." She said before disappearing into the bathroom door.

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It was Saturday morning and it was so strange that Krystal and I are not cuddled on the bed. Her space was empty and it's very unusual for her to be up so early. I walked out the bedroom and went to the kitchen.

"Krys?" I called out.

"Yeah?" she answered while facing the sink.

"Why are you up so early?"

"Uhm... I don't know... too excited maybe..."

"Excited for what?"

"Jonghyun and I will go biking this afternoon. Oh which reminds me, can I borrow your bike?" she said ecstatically. I looked at her with round eyes.

"Jonghyun? You're going out with Jonghyun? That dino-faced guy?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Are you sure you want to have a date with him? Because as what other people say, he's a player."

"Well, how will I know if I don't go out with him?"

"So you are really interested?" I asked as I walked next to her.

"Mm... you could say that." After hearing her answer, I felt my heart sank a little.

"Oh... then okay... I'll just prepare the bike." I said and went to the storage room.

After lunch, Krystal hurriedly took a shower while I was left in the kitchen washing the dishes. Her date with Jonghyun is bothering me nonstop. Of all the guys in campus, why him? I mean she could've chosen a better guy, she could've chosen m-... no, of course she won't. Sigh.

I then heard Krystal walking down the stairs.

"Am, I'm going." I heard her say.

"Wait!" I rushed from the kitchen to check her clothes.

"What?"

"Shorts? No way. Change."

"What the..."

"Go back up and change Krys."

"Why? These are okay." she exclaimed and went to the door but before she could turn the knob, I caught her by the wrist.

"Krys, you're going to ride a bike with a guy in these super short shorts. How can that be okay? It doesn't look nice."

"Hey, I didn't care about what you wore for your date last night so don't mind mine and let me go." Stubborn!

"Fine, then just bring this." I handed her a backpack. It's up to you if you want to use those. I'm just concerned about you. I'm sure dino-face doesn't have biking gears. But if you don't want to, then just leave them there. Don't complain about your bruises in case you fall later." I said and walked upstairs. It took a few minutes before I heard the door open and close.

I should really stop caring about her too much.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I got home with Jonghyun following behind since I can't carry the bicycle all the way to the storage room.

"Thanks for a very fun day Krystal. I hope this is not the last." He said while wearing a bright smile.

"I had fun too." Really, it was really fun.

"Great. Good night and see you in school."

"Good night." I closed the door and went up to the room where I'm sure Amber is. She's on her computer desk, busy editing her videos. "I'm home."

"Hey." she said without looking at me. I sat on our bed while I look at her back still facing me.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yeah. Tacos. You?"

"Yup. We went to an Italian restaurant.

"Had a great time?"

"Yes."

"No bruises?"

"Nope."

"Good." Why do I feel like she's mad at me?

"Uh Am, thanks for lending me your bike."

"No problem. You can use it again on your next date if you want."

"Really? Well maybe you and Shannon would like to go bike riding too." She turned her chair and looked at me.

"Oh, I haven't thought of that. It actually sounds a good idea since she also likes playing outdoors. Thanks for the suggestion, Krys. I'll invite her next weekend." She turned around again and continued on her project.

You and your big mouth, Krystal.

For the next weeks, Amber and I kept going on dates with Shannon and Jonghyun respectively and I hate it because she seems to really enjoy Shannon's company. When I see them in school talking and hanging out, I feel uncomfortable. I don't like seeing Amber with someone else. I don't want her to be with anyone else. I just want her next to me. Just me. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with Jonghyun too and the funny thing is, he looks a lot like Amber though Amber is more handsome. Jonghyun has this really good sense of humor but whenever he makes me laugh, Amber's face suddenly pops up in my head. I guess I miss her. Why can't we be just like how we were?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Krystal has a date with dino-face again tonight and I hate the sight of her making herself pretty for their date. I wonder what she feels about him... As for me, Shannon is really nice but then I think she is not into me romantically and I also feel the same. After going out with her a few times and getting to know her, I realized we were more on the platonic side. But how about Krystal? I think telling her we could date others was a big mistake. I don't like her to see others. I just want her to be with me. Only me. But since she can't say what we are, I guess having her to choose me is impossible. But still, there's no harm in hoping.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I told Jonghyun to end our date earlier than we have planned. I don't know, I feel like what I'm doing was wrong, that I'm just using him to distract myself from Amber. Before we parted, I thanked him for being so patient with me and for being such a good friend. And with that, he knew what I meant. I also apologized but he said I didn't need to. He already knew what was going on, that I... I'm in love with my roommate.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm sitting on the bed, my back against the headboard with my phone in my hand. It's only 6 pm. She would probably be home 2 hours later. I went to the kitchen to make myself dinner.

Gosh I miss eating with her.

Suddenly I heard the door open and since I wasn't expecting anyone, I took the big wooden spoon and held it in front of me ready to attack whoever it was. I walked slowly towards the bedroom and saw someone's shadow rummaging the closet. Definitely a trespasser. I quietly went closer, turned the lights on and shouted as loud as I can.

"Put your hands in the air, thief!!!"

"Aaaaahhhh! Amber! What are you doing with that spoon in your hand?!"

"Krys? What the... it's you?!"

"Yeah who else?"

"I thought somene already broke in... Why in the world would you walk in our bedroom without turning the lights on?"

"To save on energy, duh.." I rolled my eyes at her statement.

"Anyway, why are you already home? It's too early for a date. Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay." If she says so... then okay.

"When's your next date?" I asked with my heart pounding loudly.

"I don't... know yet.." Then there might me a next one?

"Oh... okay..." I said. "Uhm.. I'll just cook dinner."

"Uh Am, may I join you? I haven't eaten yet." she asked with her gentle eyes. 

"Of course." I smiled.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Amber made fried rice with salmon and carrots. I missed her cooking. I missed her.

I took a spoonful in my mouth and it sent comfort throughout my body.

"Still your favorite fried rice, right?"

"Yup. So good!" she returned my answer with a grin and proceeded eating her meal. Just like the usual, we washed the dishes together and went up to our bedroom. We took turns in the bathroom for our shower time and she would always let me shower first. When it was her turn, I settled myself on the bed and noticed the thin pillow marking our sides of the bed. I remembered when I first placed this, it was that third weekend she went out with Shannon and had this wide grin plastered on her face when she got home. I hated the idea of her being all happy with Shannon that I want us to be separated when sleeping. How I wished I could split the bed in two that time. But now, after realizing how I truly felt for her, I whole-heartedly took the pillow off and hugged it. I want to feel her again, I want us to be us again.

I waited for her to come out from the bathroom and when she did, the first thing she noticed was the pillow. She slowly walked towards the bed and sat beside me.

"Hey..." she said. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah..."

"Really?" I nodded. I swallowed the lump in my throat before speaking. 

"Do you like her?"

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm not sure whom she was asking about but I can sense she's somewhat bothered.

"Who?"

"Shannon..."

"Uh... Why are you asking?"

"Just answer." I looked at her intently.

"I do..." I saw her bite her lip. "Why are you asking?" I repeated.

"I just want to know." Her eyes were focused on the pillow. Her eyes are sad and I don't like that. I lay myself next to her and held her cheek with my left hand to make her look at me.

"Did dino-face do anything bad to you?"

"No..."

"Then why are you sad?"

"Because..." She locked her gazed on mine before continuing her sentence. "...because I miss you." After saying that, she cuddled next to me and I did the same. She wrapped her left arm around my waist while I tucked my right arm under her neck so she could use it as a pillow. "Can we stop dating others? I don't like it."

"What do you like?" I asked back.

"Us... I just like us, like this... please?" She looked up at me with pleading eyes."

"You don't like Jonghyun?"

"Nope..." That's it. That's all I needed. I inched my face closer to hers and captured her lips with mine. It was the first kiss we shared after a long time and I can't express how much I longed for it. She returned the kiss and let it last for a short while. As we pulled away, I pulled her forehead near my lips and pecked it.

"I miss you too."

"But you like Shannon..."

"Yes... but in a platonic way."

"Huh?" she looked at me with confusion.

"She's like a sister to me." I smiled and kissed her again. "Krys, whatever we have... let's just continue having this kind of relationship. I don't care if we don't know what we are. All I want is for us to be with each other. That's all. Is that okay?" She wrapped her arm around my neck and pulled me closer for another kiss before speaking.

"What if I want to be your girlfriend?" she said while placing a soft peck on my nose.

"Then you have to ask me on a date." I answered.

"Okay. Tomorrow, my day will only be for you."

"Just tomorrow?"

"Everyday." she hugged me tight. "I love you Am."

"I love you Krys."

And we sealed the night with a kiss.

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Author's note: I just corrected some errors I made yesterday :)