Jung Yong Hwa

Okay, this is really it, Jung Yong Hwa! You have to nail this! So many people from different countries watching.. Most of them won’t understand what you’re saying.. You have to make them FEEL this song, that’s how they’ll understand.. And Hyun is watching.. This is for her.. Do it well.. Fighting!

 

The room dimmed and all at once, the orchestra started playing as I thought of how I was feeling the day I co-wrote this song, and then everything flowed smoothly.

 

 

Neul ttokgateun haneure, neul gateun haru (Always the same sky, always the same day)
Geudaega eomneun geot malgoneun (Besides the fact that you’re not here)
Dallajin ge eomneunde (Nothing has changed)   Nan utgoman shipeunde, da ijeun deushi (I want to laugh just as if I forgot everything)
Amuil aneun deut geureohke, useumyeon salgopeunde (I want to live as I laugh as if nothing’s wrong)
Geuriwo geuriwoseo, geudaega geuriwoseo (But because I miss you, because I miss you)
Maeil nan honjaseoman (Every day I call out)
Geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo (Your name by myself)
Bogopa bogopaseo, geudaega bogopaseo (Because I miss you, because I miss you)
Ije nan seupgwancheoreom (I call out your name like a habit)
Geudae ireumman bureuneyo oneuldo (Today once again)   Nan bonaen jul aratjyo, da namgim eobsi (I thought I let you go without any remains)
Anijyo anijyo nan ajik geudaereul mot bonaetjyo  (But no, no I still haven’t let you go)   Geuriwo geuriwoseo, geudaega geuriwoseo (But because I miss you, because I miss you)
Maeil nan honjaseoman (Every day I call out)
Geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo (Your name by myself)
Bogopa bogopaseo, geudaega bogopaseo (Because I miss you, because I miss you)
Ije nan seupgwancheoreom (I call out your name like a habit)
Geudae ireumman bureuneyo oneuldo (Today once again)   Haruharuga jugeul geotman gateunde (Each day I feel like I could die)
Eotteoke haeya haeyo (What do I do)   Saranghae, saranghaeyo (I love you I love you)
Geudaereul saranghaeyo (I love you)
Maljocha motagoseo (Without even saying those words)
Geudaereul geureoke bonaenneyo (I am letting you go)
Mianhae mianhaeyo, nae mari deullinayo (I’m sorry I’m sorry, can you hear me?) Dwineujeun nae gobaegeul (Can you hear my confession)
Geudaen deureul su isseulkkayo (That is too late)
Saranghaeyo (I love you)

 

 

 

Seo Joo Hyun

Huh?! Wait a minute! I heard this song before.. Yes.. OH, MY GOD! NO WAY.. It can’t be.. Could it?!

 

“Whoa! Daebak! You went all out, Manager Hyung!”, Jung Shin exclaimed, interrupting my chain of thought.

 

“Of course! This is Yong Hwa-yah’s first EVER performance on a GRAND STAGE since he released this single.. He was supposed to have uhhh something but seeing as, you know, our situation right now—not that I have any problems with it, mind you—”, Manager Oppa babbled on, glancing at me to make sure I was not offended by what he said and then added, “—what was I saying? Oh yeah, I feel I owe him this.. So I made sure it will be an epic performance—”

 

“And it didn’t hurt that the Jeju Philharmonic Orchestra is here AND this is an Engineering Gala which means everything else, ESPECIALLY the sound, lighting, and special effects are going to be perfect..”, Sig Oppa interjected.

 

“Yah! Cham! That’s just a bonus because Jung Yong Hwa-ssi is a great performer! Take all those out and he will still deliver!”, defended Yong Oppa’s Manager, taking pride on his ward’s pure talent.

 

“I guess..”, Sig Oppa conceded, throwing his hands up in surrender.

 

“Seohyun-ssi, this song, it’s good, right? I mean, you like it, don’t you?”, Manager Oppa suddenly whispered, asking me in private as Yong Oppa sang his heart out on the stage, amazing everyone watching.

 

I could only nod in approval because I’m in awe of the man singing at that moment. The way he delivered every word as if he, himself, went through it. It felt like I went back in time, sitting in a dark auditorium, listening to a guy lamenting about someone he misses so bad, it was heartbreaking and almost physically painful. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to console him and tell him everything will be alright. I wanted to take away the unbearable pain. And I wanted so bad to assure him that they will be together in the end and to just hold on. I felt the same way all those years ago as I sat there in the dark, hours after he finished singing; lost, guilty, and alone. And now, I’m going through it again. This time, I’m in a room full of people, looking him straight in the face as I held our sleeping baby in my arms.

 

But was it really him..?

 

I just sat there afraid to move, listening to Yong Oppa sing. I’m in the verge of tears, but I wasn’t sure if it is happiness to finally have a lead on who the guy might be that left me incapacitated all those years ago, or sadness because of what he went through, if it was him.

 

Yah, Seo Joo Hyun! Don’t you cry! If you cry, you wouldn’t be able to explain why! Because you don’t even know why! And what if he just covered that song! You don’t know.. – Then I have to find out.. I HAVE TO! – Suit yourself!

 

I forced myself to tear my eyes away from Yong Oppa as I composed my demeanor. I tried to clear my throat, but nothing came out, not even a squeak. I calmed my racing heart, counted to ten and tried again.

 

“Man—Manager Op—Oppa..”, I stammered, trying to compel myself to talk straight.

 

“Hmmm?”, he answered absently, not noticing I was having a hard time talking.

 

“Did he—Did he compose this song?”, I whispered, afraid to even say Yong Oppa’s name.

 

Yong Oppa’s Manager regarded me, seeming to decide if he could trust me with something important. After a minute, he spoke.

 

“Seohyun-ssi, this is just between us two, okay?”, he stated seriously, looking at Moonie Ahjussi, making sure that he was filming Yong Oppa and not us.

 

He was, thank God!

 

I nodded, still having a hard time finding my voice, as we both looked at Yong Oppa still singing on the stage, mesmerized.

 

“This song is his carrier single.. It was actually used as an original soundtrack for a drama he did back when he was just starting.. And our agency decided to try an old, somewhat familiar song, just to see if he can transcend from acting to singing without a hitch before a full album is released.. He was the one who chose this song to be his carrier single, you know.. In the OST CD, it’s indicated that he wrote the melody, while our CEO wrote the lyrics..”, he explained in a hushed voice.

 

So who did I see perform back in Niigata.. It couldn’t be their CEO, could it..?

 

“But in truth, Seohyun-ssi, it was the other way around—”

 

Huh?!

 

“—it was our CEO who composed the melody, and Yong Hwa-yah wrote the lyrics in under 30 minutes after hearing the melody.. He was still a young trainee back then—”

 

So it really was him in Niigata?

 

“—he really wanted to be a singer originally, but he kept being casted in CFs, dramas, and movies until his career took off and singing eventually took a back seat.. He’s very good at composing actually, and when the CEO came by some of Yong Hwa-yah’s old compositions in a vault months ago, he decided to ask if Yong Hwa-yah wanted to tackle singing next after finally establishing his name as a well-known actor for so many years now.. Of course, he was just too happy about the prospect that in no time an almost full album is on the works..”, Yong Oppa’s Manager continued.

 

“But—But why did they have to change who made what, Manager Oppa?”, I asked softly, reeling from the information he just told me.

 

“They wouldn’t tell me why, Seohyun-ssi.. All they said was because it was necessary at the time.. Mind you, he was still a teenager when he wrote the lyrics to this song..”, he replied, frowning as if he was deep in thought.

 

“Although, I heard them talking once.. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I was on my way to pick him up for a CF shooting when I happen to have heard them..”, he added, this time talking so softly that I had to come closer just to hear him.

 

“What did you hear, Manager Oppa?”, I prompted.

 

“Apparently, Yong Hwa-yah insisted on putting who he wrote this for if it ever gets released, but the CEO would have none of it because, as I’ve said, it was going to be used as a soundtrack for a drama he was acting on and at that time he was being paired with ummm a young actress.. And some fans, I’m not saying all of them, okay? But some fans would not take to it kindly if they put who he wrote it for apart from the young actress or themselves, the fans, I mean..”, he answered, still talking as softly as he could.

 

“Oh.. I see.. Then why don’t they just leave it blank? I mean surely Yong Oppa would have understood his fans would get jealous if he were to put who he wrote it for originally..”, I asked again, clearly ignorant on how the entertainment business works.

 

“They still have to switch place on who made what because, Seohyun-ssi, when you compose a song, your lyrics will always be about somebody or about something you went through or witness around you.. If they put Yong Hwa-yah as the lyrics composer of this song, people will always speculate to whom it refers to and that always starts a scandal.. So to avoid that, they put the CEO as the lyrics composer and Yong Hwa-yah as the melody composer.. That way, they still both get equal credit for the song..”, Manager Oppa patiently explained to me.

 

“I see..”, I remarked, nodding my head.

 

“Do you know who he wrote it for, Manager Oppa?”, I added, casually, hoping he wouldn’t notice how bad I wanted to know.

 

Probably for a past girlfriend.. Or maybe it IS for the “young actress”.. – Then why ask? – Because I just love to hurt myself! Aishhh!

 

He regarded me again and said, “Keep an open mind, Seohyun-ssi, okay? And remember this is just between the two of us..”

 

I nodded.

 

“I heard that Yong Hwa-yah wrote it for—”, he stopped short, unsure if he wanted to continue talking, but then he looked at me and must have decided he can trust me because he finished what he was saying, “—he wrote it for an alien girl..”

 

What?!

 

I looked at Yong Oppa’s Manager, trying to figure out if he was joking with me, but nothing in his manner told me that he was. He looked serious, like he meant every word he said.

 

“Ummm An alien girl?”, I repeated, trying not to sound incredulously.

 

“Yes.. An alien girl.. Apparently, she has red skin or red hair or red something.. And it makes sense if you listen to the lyrics.. The title even says it all, Because I Miss You.. Maybe that’s why our CEO refused the idea of putting to whom this song is for.. Another scandal waiting to happen when we were already under fire from the fans because of Shin Hye-ssi.. Errr, but I’m sure it’s nothing.. He’s got you and Cherisse now so no worries, Seohyun-ssi.. Anyway, don’t tell anyone I told you, especially Yong Hwa-yah, okay? I have to go! He’s almost done singing! I have to be there when he goes backstage.. Remember just between the two of us..”, he mumbled so fast I almost didn’t get what he was saying. As he took his leave to go to his ward, he kept looking at me like he did something that got Yong Oppa in trouble.

 

What was that about?! Hmmm.. An alien..? Seriously? And a scandal with Shin Hye-ssi? Did she mean the actress?! – Well, makes sense, doesn’t it? Since he’s an ACTOR! Hello?! – Haikkks!

 

I stared at Yong Oppa as he sings, belting out the words that affected me so much.

 

But why does it affect me so much that I want to cry? WHY..?

 

As that question floated in the air, unanswered, I continued to stare at him. I felt confident because I knew, from experience earlier when I was on the same stage, that he couldn’t see me. And by the way he was singing right now, no one was paying attention at anyone else but him.

 

“Mommy..”, I heard Cherisse whisper softly.

 

I stand corrected..

 

I looked down and was pleasantly surprised to find Cherisse looking up at me when I thought all along that she was asleep.

 

 

“Ma chérie, encore éveillé? Pas sommeil encore?1 (My darling, still awake? Not sleepy yet?)”, I asked as I looked at her gorgeous blue eyes.

 

“Non.. Où est mon Daddy?2 (No.. Where's my Daddy?)”, she asked.

 

Uh-oh..

 

“Il est là, ma chérie, tu vois?3 (He's there, my darling, see?)”, I pointed as I stood her on my lap. And at that very same second, he was singing the last words : Saranghaeyo4 (I love you).

 

“Sa-rang-hae-yo?”, Cherisse repeated, asking me.

 

“Oui, ma chérie.. Cela signifie Je t'aime dans la langue de Daddy..5 (Yes, my darling.. It means I love you in Daddy's language..)”, I explained to her.

 

“Donc, il nous aime?6 (So, he loves us?)”, she asked.

 

“Bien sûr, il le fait, ma chérie..7 (Of course, he does, my darling..)”, I assured her.

 

At least, I think so.. Plus, apparently an alien girl, Shin Hye-ssi, and Baby Sue.. Sighhh..

 

Then the next thing I knew, Cherisse hugged me in surprise when a thundering applause swept the whole room while people stood up. I hugged her back to calm her down and explained to her that they’re clapping for her Daddy. She smiled at me and started clapping her hands as I tried my best to whistle and whoop because I couldn’t clap while I was carrying Cherisse.

 

After about what seemed like a very long time, the people around me finally stopped clapping as Yong Oppa left the stage. They all started to gather their things and get ready to leave the premises and head for home.

 

“Seohyun-ie, stay here, okay? Wait for Yong Hwa Hyung.. I’ll get our coats.. I’ll be back.. Moonie Ahjussi, don’t leave them..”, Jung Shin called-out before he disappeared with the crowd, to which Moonie Ahjussi and I nodded.

 

As I sat there waiting, with Cherisse sitting on my lap, her head resting against my chest as she thumb-, I felt someone’s eyes on me. I looked up and as the people parted to let someone through, Yong Oppa’s gaze met mine. He was smiling and somewhat glowing and I couldn’t help but smile at him, too. It was infectious. When he got closer, he put one knee on the floor so he was level with me and Cherisse.

 

“Oppa—”

 

“Hyun—”

 

We both spoke at the same time making us laugh.

 

“Oppa, your performance—it was amazing! I mean—WOW!!!”, I exclaimed, feeling so proud of him.

 

“I’m so happy you liked—”

 

“Like?! We LOVED it! Didn’t we, Cherisse?”, I corrected him.

 

“Then, I’m so happy you loved it! That was for you.. And Cherisse, of course..”, he added, smiling so wide, I thought his cheeks would burst.

 

“Sa-rang-hae-yo—”

 

 

 

Jung Yong Hwa

Huh?!

 

“Whoa! Where did you hear that, babycakes—”

 

“From you, Oppa..”, Hyun answered for her.

 

Oh. I thought maybe.. – What? You thought Cherisse heard it from Hyun saying it to you?! Dream on, Jung Yong Hwa! – Aishhh!

 

“From me? When did I say that..?”, I asked as I thought about when I actually said those words.

 

“Your song, Oppa.. Those were the last words..”, she answered softly. I looked at her and somehow something changed in the last second. Like she was remembering something and was now looking nervous and guilty all of a sudden.

 

Did I say something wrong..?

 

“Oh, right.. Yes, of course.. She was listening, huh.. Well, I love you too, babycakes.. So much!”, I told Cherisse, as I took her other hand and kissed her palm, while Hyun looked on, smiling nervously at us.

 

“Hyung, have you seen your Manager? I have his coat with me..”, Jung Shin suddenly asked from behind me as he handed Moonie Ahjussi and my coat to us. Hyun’s and Cherisse’s were already with us when we went in the veranda earlier.

 

“He was just right behind me coming here.. I guess he got sidetracked.. Can you call him, Jung Shin-ah?”, I requested, as I helped Hyun with Cherisse’s coat first before I take here so she could do the same.

 

“I can’t reach him, Hyungnim..”, Jung Shin informed me.

 

“Where is he—”

 

“Daddy, j'ai faim..8 (Daddy, I’m hungry..)”, Cherisse whined, cutting me off.

 

“She said she’s hungry, Oppa.. She’s been asking for milk since we were in the veranda..”, Hyun reminded me while she told Cherisse, “Tiens, ma chéri.. Nous serons bientôt à la maison, je promets..9 (Hold on, my darling.. We will be home soon, I promise..)”

 

“Just your thumb for a little bit longer, babycakes, okay? Can you do that for Daddy? Please?”, I begged her, and she did as she rested her head on my shoulder.

 

“Good girl..”, I said as I patted her while Hyun assured her, gently running her hands on Cherisse’s back.

 

“Still can’t reach him, Jung Shin-ah?! Where is that Ahjussi?! We have to get Cherisse home now!”, I hissed in frustration because I was worried Cherisse would start crying and who knows what will be the effect this time.

 

The Doctor said not to stress her! Hyung, where are you?!

 

 

 

Seo Joo Hyun

I hope we leave for home soon.. I don’t think Cherisse can hold out much longer..

 

After a few more minutes of walking around with everyone looking for Yong Oppa’s Manager including Kim Sa Jangnim, his Directors and their wives, and Sig Oppa, trying to find Yong Oppa’s Manager to no avail, they all came back to where I was sitting with Cherisse still her thumb while I try my best to distract her from crying. Yong Oppa looked furious.

 

“That’s it, let’s all go home! Let him find a ride home, himself! I won’t stress Cherisse anymore, it’s not worth it! He knows we have Cherisse with us and he pulls this stunt off!”, he huffed to which everyone just stayed quiet including Sig Oppa who has always been outspoken being a big Choding himself.

 

“Arasseo, Yong Hwa-ssi.. Let us all go home, for my sonnyeo’s sake.. I’m sure Manager Jo can find a way to get himself home.. If he can’t, he can always call you..”, Kim Sa Jangnim agreed, patting Yong Oppa at the back to appease him. He was the only person who had the guts to talk.

 

This snapped Yong Oppa from his anger, apologizing to Kim Sa Jangnim and his company for his sudden outburst and thanking them for helping him look for his Manager.

 

“It’s okay, Yong Hwa-ssi.. We all understand where you’re coming from.. It’s your daughter we’re talking about here.. Of course, you’ll be worried.. But I’m sure your Manager ha