'I never knew it would be so bitter to be alone. Alone without you...' -Without you by Hermann Hesse

~*~Your P.O.V.~~*~


“Moonbin is a wonderful kid. Don’t ever lose him again it’s not always safe around public premises. Also…” He paused shortly before he continued… “He’s a good kid and you raised him well…”
 

My heart fluttered in my chest and the butterflies in my stomach go crazy at his compliment. I got lost in his gorgeous eyes. His magic still works on me. I couldn’t help but smile, it felt good to be with him, but then again… I should maintain my composure. It wouldn’t be like it was before…

A lot has changed throughout the years…

“Thank you…” I simply squeaked awkwardly then turned away from him, leaving him standing there, astounded by our recent encounter.

I let out a sigh of relief as I felt the tension in my heart leave me with every step I take, walking away from him. It was hard to look at him again. It broke my heart to hear his voice. The sight of him carrying our  Moonbin replayed in my head like a movie and his words were stuck in my head.

“You raised him well….”

I felt my eyes become watery again as thoughts about Yunho invaded my head, instantly crushing my heart, taking my sanity away…

“Are you okay?” T.O.P’s deep and seductive voice helped me snap out of my reverie and pull myself together. “You’re crying again…”

“I’m fine. I’m just glad I found Moonbin…” I reasoned out and he chuckled.

“It was a good thing that Yunho-hyung found him. He’s really good with kids…” T.O.P. remarked and I smiled as I gazed at the little boy in my arms.

“Yeah…” I sighed as I ran my fingers through Moonbin’s hair.  I gave him a kiss on the forehead and held him close to my heart. “Aish… I’m never leaving you again…”

“Eomma?” Moonbin mumbled sleepily. His eyes still remained closed.

“Shhh… Go back to sleep, baby…” I hushed as I lightly patted his back. He rested his head on my shoulder and went back to sleep.

“Here, let me help you out…” T.O.P said as he stretched out his arms for Moonbin. I looked at him and hesitated for a while.
 

“You sure?” I asked him, looking at him with a puzzled expression.

“Yeah… You don’t look so comfortable holding those bags and with your kid in your arms…” He pointed out and I sighed in defeat.

“Here, be gentle, arasso?” I said cautiously, having my motherly instincts take over me. He chuckled at my worried state as he took Moonbin from me.
 

“Aish, lighten up a little, Mommy… I’m not gonna drop him… I know you’d kill me if I do so…”he chuckled and I giggled.

“So how old is he?” He asked as we continued walking. I took my phone to contact the others and tell them that Moonbin’s safe.

“He’s six years old…” I replied as I texted my beloved members.

“He’s really adorable…” He said as he looked at my son’s sleeping figure. “ Just like you…”

He then turned his gaze towards me. I looked away to hide my blush. I felt like I was gonna melt at the sound of his voice. His smile is so warm and his gaze is making my heart beat rapidly against my chest.

I let out a nervous chuckle as an awkward aura began to surround us. It was a good thing that the girls have come to lighten up the mood.

“My goodness, it’s good that you finally found him. We were worried sick!” Jia sighed in relief.

“T.O.P-shii helped me…” I simply answered with a smile. I then turned to T.O.P to give him a warm, smile. “I guess, we have to get going now. Moonbin has to rest. It has been a long day…” I told him and he nodded in response.

“I’ll take him to your car.” He suggested and I just couldn’t decline his offer.
 

We bid T.O.P good bye and left to go home. We all had a long day. The girls immediately took a shower and went to bed. I gave Moonbin a sponge bath and put him to bed before I took a shower and got dressed. I went back to his room as soon as I was fresh in clean. I sat on one side of his bed and  watched him sleep soundly as I his soft hair lovingly. I gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and muttered a quiet, “ I love you” to him before going to my own room to get some rest.

My Pillow gazes upon me at night
Empty as a gravestone;
I never thought it would be so bitter
To be alone,
Not to lie down asleep in your hair.

I laid down on my bed, faced one side of the room and stared outside my window. The moon was glowing brightly that night. My mind was tired, but I couldn’t get to sleep as my thoughts about him kept me wide awake in the still of the night. It was dark and quiet. My heart felt so empty and the big space in my bed wasn’t of good help to me.  I ran my fingers through the empty part of the bed.

Then suddenly I'm awake
And all around me the cold night grows still.
The star in the window shines clearly-
Where is your brown hair,
Where your sweet mouth?

‘This space should have been occupied by you…’ I thought as tears stained my soft pillow. I sobbed softly and held the comforter close to me as I felt the coldness, darkness and emptiness surround me that night.  My heart was longing for him…

“Minjee-ah?” 

“You know that, I’ll always love you right?”

“You know that you’ll always be the most important one to me, right?”

“Sarangheyo, Minjee-ah…”


“I miss you, oppa… What do I have to do to have you here with me? To have you by my side? It feels so lonely without you…” I sobbed. That night my cries put me to sleep...
 

A.N. My inspiration for this was the Poem, Without You by Hermann Hesse... Hahaha... I hope you like my update...

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~Kei-chan <3