Chores left undone and her mind elsewhere, Namjoo stared into blank space. Her back had gone stiff from leaning against the drawer the past hour. The divorce papers were stowed away, signed. The stitches she’d mended the crack in her heart with the day she watched Soo Ae blame herself had reopened.

One thing Namjoo never imagined was that she’d become accustomed, attached to this petty room that was Sehun’s. The very fact that his mother expected her to give the papers to Sehun, convince him to sign them was stupendously absurd. She knew immediately how he’d react. He might even slap the papers in her face, ask her if she’d gone crazy. His mother was just purposely doing this to her, because she knew well as she that Sehun would never sign the papers. All of a sudden, he’d become even more stubborn than usual.

What was she going to do?

Namjoo trailed on in her troubled thoughts and when she heard footsteps coming upstairs, got to her feet. Sehun looked breathlessly excited when he walked in. At once their eyes met and he smiled. Namjoo felt required to return one as well.

“You’re not busy, right?” Sehun asked.

“Why? What’s going on?” Namjoo asked.

Turning he called for Soo Ae to come in. Her daughter, smiling just like her daddy, stepped in with something hidden at her back.

“Ta-da!” Soo Ae jumped a step forward, revealing chocolate roses in her hands. “Aren’t they pretty?! Daddy and I looked so hard for them!”

“They are, thanks so much, Soo Ae.”

Soo Ae grinned widely, “Daddy too and give him a kiss.”

Namjoo glanced at him, but instead felt her head sway to the side when he placed a peck on her cheek. Then whispering to her, “It’s all Soo Ae’s idea – the roses, the chocolate. Be happy. Lets not disappoint her.”

Sehun smiled at her and she turned to Soo Ae before putting her arm around her husband. “Is that good enough, Soo Ae?”

Grinning shyly, Soo Ae slapped her hands over her face and ran out of the room giggling. Once she was well out of sight, Namjoo eventually let go of Sehun, who then pulled her to sit on the bed, propping his head onto her shoulder.

“So how was your day?” He asked. Letting herself enjoy the weight of his head on her shoulder, the corner of her lip moved up. Calculating the few months she’d spent with him as his wife, she concluded there was some progress. From being kind and asserting the sorry feelings with affection that she once turned a cold shoulder to, that affection was well accepted now. Comfort and an encouragement was what it gave her, reasserting her belief that she was doing the right thing.  

“I lagged on chores,” the divorce papers came to mind, but it wasn’t time for that yet, “that’s all.”

“You did well,” he commented. Snuggling closer he mumbled, “I’m tired, Namjoo.”

Wouldn’t it believable to say being in the house, putting up with the hostile atmosphere was taxing for them all?

Putting her arm around him and resting her hand on his head she said, “Sleep. I’ll stay with you for a while.”

Enveloped by silence, she listened to his breathing ease out. The weight of his body rested against her as he drifted off. Namjoo remained with him, appreciating the moment for what it was. The Sehun who couldn’t stop feeling for her now might not be the same later, so she would accept as much of him as she could. Remember it well and never forget how well he treated her.

Estimating that enough time passed, she cupped her hand around the back of his head to lay him down, draped the blanket over him and walked out. Her daughter, now instead of being downstairs with her grandpa, was always in her room. Imagining how the change must have been drastic for her pained Namjoo.

Unable to make any changes in the house that didn’t belong to her, Namjoo stood at the doorway watching her play with her dolls. There actually wasn’t very much she was capable of doing. She had no jurisdiction over anything in this house. Having been turned from an independent working mother to a housewife who lived under the laws and order of a mother-in-law, Namjoo had lost her power. She had gone from bold to mouse-voiced when she realized she wasn’t only fighting for herself. Anything done by her would affect her daughter and her husband.

There wasn’t any solution to what was happening at all. No way out and no way back in. Restoring the peace that once existed wasn’t possible. The only exit to prevent more pain was those divorce papers.

*****

It was dark. The tunnel continued extending, almost seemed never ending. Confusion overlay him then a bright burst of light forced his arm up to protect his eyes. Suddenly he was in front of his house. Knowing he was coming home from work he rushed toward the door. Strange thing was, Soo Ae wasn’t with him. He hadn’t come from the daycare.

Namjoo was the first thing on his mind. Like always, she would be inside working on chores and waiting for his return. He’d greet her like usual, be happy to see her.

A growing silence hunched over the matching furniture decided by his mother. No one in the room. No one in the kitchen either. Turning straight toward the stairs, he started upstairs at once, calling for Namjoo. Quietness replied. Sehun felt a heavy sense of aloneness splash over him, finding himself standing in the middle of their room.

The TV was gone, all the drawers were his again, the bed sheets unchanged from since before marriage. Devastation plunged him and he was entirely sure that she was no longer there. Grief smacked him in the face and he calling out even more desperately for her, raced down the stairs barely tripping over his own feet. Instinctively swinging the door open, he found her standing outside with a suitcase, her back to him.

Then he finally heard his voice. “Where are you going?” His eyes lingered over her back, wishing she would turn so he could see her face.

“I’m leaving you. Goodbye Sehun.” Taking a step forward she began walking away from him one step at a time, becoming further and further from his reach. His voice, muted to his ears, continued screaming her name. Panic fluctuated with agony as he ran after her only to see her back getting smaller and smaller, the gap stretching between them as he ran faster.

“Namjoo!” Screaming from the top of his lungs. “Don’t leave me!”

A breath jolted from him, his eyes opening. Pulling himself up he rubbed his eyes and glanced around the room before hurrying out. He picked up speed as he ran down the stairs to reaffirm Namjoo’s presence and that his daughter was still in the house. Striding forward he spotted Namjoo with Soo Ae in the kitchen, glumly putting up with his rude family again. The relief that struck him was too much to take lightly. His heart beat so hard. He had been so alarmed for no reason.

“All the plates are dirty. I’m going to wash all of them for cleanliness, so I don’t think there’s enough for you tonight.” He could hear his mother saying.

Biting his lip he started forward, forced Namjoo to sit down beside Soo Ae, and dug around the cupboards for some of his mother’s elegant China plates. Placing them onto the table he sat down, ignoring the stare of disbelief and insult coming from his mother’s eyes.

“This looks good, this too,” he commented, placing food on both his wife and his daughter’s plates. After finishing he urged, “Eat up.” Sehun sat with his body shifted toward them, desiring to keep them in his sight. He caught the tiny frown on Namjoo’s face, but she didn’t say anything. Once they began eating, he too, joined them.

When their dishes were cleared, his mother wasn’t going to give them slack. Instead, she insisted, “Since we have guests staying in the house, Eun Bi, why don’t you go rest? Since the freeloaders are staying without payment, they could at least wash our dishes, don’t you think?”

In unison, he and his father’s eyes drifted toward his mother. “What freeloaders are you pointing your fingers at?”

“You know very well what I’m talking about and you’re letting them get away with it,” she snapped at him. “As if you aren’t ashamed either. Deep down in your guts I know you regret allowing them into our home. If you were more strict on Sehun instead of uselessly going on about how he’s an adult now, we wouldn’t look like such an embarrassment to society. Now we’re going to be the stars of the gossip going around town!”

Sehun’s eyes flared up. Eun Bi placed a hand on his mother’s arm, coaxing, “It’s all right, mother. I’ll take care of the dishes. You just rest.”

Hissing through her teeth, his mother turned to shoot Namjoo and Soo Ae a snaring glare. Intimidated, Soo Ae allowed her eyes to drift down to her plate. Eun Bi put herself to collecting his mother and father’s plates, headed to the sink to show how much more dutiful she was as wife material. Sehun gripped his fingers into his palm knowing well that arguing wouldn’t bring them far.

“No, I’ll do it,” Namjoo suddenly shoved her seat back and walked to the sink, snatched the sponge out of Eun Bi’s hand. “Freeloader’s job, right? Best be careful, Eun Bi. Once you officially move into this house, you’ll be trained as a freeloader to believe that all the chores in this house is yours. Since you aren’t one yet, I’ll wash the dishes.”

Sehun barely snorted at Namjoo and turned when Soo Ae got up from her seat to carry her plate over to her mother. The crash that resonated throughout the kitchen when Eun Bi turned and bumped into her brought the whole house into a standstill. At most, a deathly silence filled the air before his mother shrieked. Sehun shot up from his seat when his mother ran toward them, shoved Soo Ae so hard that she landed on the ground. Never minding his daughter, his mother fragilely placed her hands over in grief over the fact that her rare China dish was in pieces.

“You!” His mother screeched. “Look at what you did! You useless thing! Do you know how expensive this was?!” She raised her hand into the air and Sehun ran forward just as Namjoo ditched the dishes to scoop Soo Ae up and behind her.

“Don’t you hit her!” Namjoo raised her voice threateningly with her hand securely on Soo Ae. “I won’t let you off if you touch my daughter.”

“Your daughter?! How can that thing compare to my dish!” His mother flung her hand toward the ceramic in shambles. “Can she pay me back for what it was worth? I don’t think so! Wherever you brought your daughter from, send her back!”

Namjoo’s eyes widened mercilessly, but hurrying forward Sehun stepped in between them. “Apologize to them, mom.”

She let out an exasperated breath, offended. “Are you my son?!”

“Will you cut it out?” His father asked from the table. “It’s just a damn plate. My goodness! I’ll buy you another one! How old are you to be throwing a fit like this! Are you not embarrassed in front of the kids?!”

“No! I am not!” His mother fought back stubbornly. “If your son married Eun Bi in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening! This household is a mess! Look at you just sitting there! It’s no wonder Sehun can’t even make the right decisions for himself!”

Something popped within Sehun. His blood literally boiled, all of it rushing to his head. “Then I’m glad I made the wrong decisions, because your right ones would have placed me in hell, mother.”

Snatching Namjoo’s hand and scooping the shocked Soo Ae up he led them upstairs. First he walked into Soo Ae’s bedroom, sat her down on the bed and kneeled down before her.

“Are you ok?” He worried, her hair. His little one looked like she was about to cry, but like her mother withheld them and nodded. “I’m sorry, Soo Ae. Grandma’s been really bad lately. Daddy can’t do anything about it.”

“It’s ok, daddy. As long as I have you and mommy, it’ll be ok. I know it will.” To make him feel better, she even worked up a smile, touching his heart.

“You big girl,” he commented rubbing his hand against her head. When they left Soo Ae he immediately closed the door to their room, not wanting anyone to hear what he and Namjoo might talk about.

“Sorry, Namjoo.” He apologized.

“About what?”

“That I can’t stop mom from insulting you day after day,” his voice deepened, vexed. Suddenly he wanted to express all his frustration, maybe throw something to the ground. “I know she makes you frustrated and I wish I could do something about it, but I can’t.”

Namjoo averted her eyes to stare off elsewhere. He knew she felt the same way as well, how she wanted to do something about it, but couldn’t. “It’s not your fault. How can a son attack his mother?”

Sehun stared at her, speechless. Turning away to search her drawers for fresh clothes she said, “I’m going to wash up.” The image of Namjoo walking away from him became one with the imagery that had walked away from him in his dream. The door clicked close and Sehun was filled with a dread that if his mother kept up, Namjoo would reach her end. At that end, she would take Soo Ae and leave him.

*****

It hadn’t been a week since the DNA test was brought in, but Namjoo suddenly felt very tired from all the havoc. She never imagined Sehun’s mother would go to this extent with them, even if she deplored the sight of them. The stress building up on her shoulders from all the rage and intensity of everything was becoming heavier by the hour.

Sehun was at work and Soo Ae safe at the daycare again. Namjoo ran over in her head the things that could happen during dinner and how she would deal with them as she pulled the sheets out of the dryer. Dumping them into the basket, she picked it up, and started up the stairs. At the very top she came across Eun Bi who seemed to have been waiting for her. With arms crossed, her eyes measured her with disapproval.

“I heard mother brought you something special yesterday,” Eun Bi’s voice stopped her in her tracks when she walked past her. “So, what did you do with them? Did you show them to Sehun yet?”

Namjoo pressed her lips together, determined not to fall for the young girl’s devious tricks.

“Just to let you know, I’m already looking at wedding dresses with mother,” Eun Bi fiddled with her nails, admiring the designs on them. “I don’t get why you’re still around the house. You must really be…shameless. Showing up in front of mother and father after it’s already been found out. Like, do you expect some kind of sympathy from them? Maybe pity?”

Tightening her grip on the basket, she bit her lip this time around. In her head, she saw herself slapping Eun Bi senseless. Violence, she told Soo Ae, was never an answer. It was fulfilling, but wouldn’t do any one person any good. She in a breath for calm.

“Maybe if I tell you something, you’ll better understand the situation.” She only continued on, “Mother suffered three miscarriages before finally having Sehun, whom she placed her dreams and hopes on. You can probably imagine all the good things she hoped Sehun would do, how deserving he is of all the best in the world but then comes along you. If you think about it, what can you offer him? Are you able to give him a better life? Support him, make sure he’s always in good health and happy? You only have a daughter and you don’t even know how to cook well or look after him as a wife should. Imagine the burden on his shoulders. Not only does he have to take care of himself, but you and your daughter.”

She was wrong, but she was right too. Namjoo’s emotions fluctuated between guilt and determination.

“You married him because of your daughter, am I right?” Eun Bi tested. “What would happen if your daughter never existed? Then you would have never married Sehun, right? You’re only here because of your daughter.”

Spinning around, Namjoo stared at her with a hard frown, “Don’t talk about my daughter like she’s a bargaining chip.”

Suddenly appearing amused, Eun Bi raised a brow, “I didn’t say it that way, but ok. You don’t need to get so over protective just yet.”

Pressing her lips tight together, Namjoo asked, “What do you want?”

Nodding her head as if they’d talked too long already, Eun Bi finally said, “Since you don’t seem to want to leave, how about I suggest a test on you and your daughter? If she’s legitimately yours, it might make sense for Sehun to have authority over a single mother. The world might give sympathy if they know how much of a good heart Sehun has. Oh, he’s such a good man for taking in a weak mother and her daughter. They’ll applaud him while never minding you and you might be able to stay after all, if he can prove that he can add honor to the family name. Then on the other hand, if it turns out Soo Ae isn’t your daughter, what kind of sense would it make for Sehun to have married you? No one will accept the fact that he felt compassion for you, maybe for the little girl, but you,” she shook her head, “no one will believe it. Because why would a woman who’s healthy all around, raise another’s daughter? A man wants his own family, not a family created by adding random persons into his lineage. If she’s yours, there’ll at least be some assertion that there’s bloodline, but if not, why would Sehun’s parents want that?”

Namjoo’s eyes became heavy. Eun Bi’s expression filled with mock, knowing she had the upper hand.

“You and your daughter,” shaking her head again, “don’t resemble each other. Mother won’t hold back if we find out your daughter isn’t yours. So what do you say? Are you going to show Sehun those papers or should we do it my way? This time, I’m giving you the option.”

Eun Bi passed by with a brush of the shoulder, leaving her to stare at the blank wall. The word 'pity' resonated throughout her head as she made her way upstairs. In contrast to what anyone believed she came here for, her reasons had evolved over time. The cold wall she built over the years had crumbled. Namjoo decided to stay, that had been the decision, but now she was being threatened with another DNA test. This one would destroy her life, ruin Soo Ae’s.

Misery warped through her. There was no way she wanted to choose between Soo Ae and Sehun. Both their happiness were in her hands. Who would imagine that some damn pieces of paper held the fate of their future? Why was she the only one to make the decision?

Thwarted with the voices from all sides, Namjoo stood there in the center of the bedroom staring at nothing while contemplating the best.  However she droned over it, Eun Bi was right too. No one cared about a single mother unless there was a man by her side. Man had the power, they controlled everything. If Sehun could go through the fight, his parents could give in only on certain circumstances. That was if she didn’t cause any harm to their family name, family reputation. But even now, she couldn’t be certain of that. It was true people would gossip that Soo Ae wasn’t Sehun’s and that he’d lied to everyone. The blame would be thrown to her; that she had been the one who manipulated Sehun. Cunning woman, they would snicker and Soo Ae would hurt because the mother she believed in, would now be at society’s feet.

It could only get worse from there. Whenever and if they found out Soo Ae wasn’t hers either, Sehun would be placed in a tighter position and they’d never let her or Soo Ae go. For the rest of their lives, they’d be reprimanded.

How could she allow Soo Ae to grow up with that?

Cornered. This time she was really cornered.

Letting out a sigh she set herself to completing work before Sehun and Soo Ae got home. Once he arrived, she started toward the door. Guilt crushed her for trampling on his good mood. That smile on his face, those lights in his eyes, and the expression of how glad he was to see her killed her inside.

“I have something to give you,” Namjoo started. Walking toward the drawer she sighted the orange envelope hidden underneath her shirts.

“What is it? Is it something good?” The excitement in his voice made her wish this wasn’t happening. Forcing herself to pull out the envelope she gripped it tightly within her fingers then turned and stepped toward him.

“Here.” She watched him give her an eye of wonder before taking it from her. Namjoo knew how he would react, but at the very least she had given him the papers as directed. His mother would have to let her off for that.

The lights of expectation glowing in his eyes slowly dimmed out, the smile disappeared along with it when he pulled the papers out. When his eyes focused on the papers she wanted to collapse to the floor but really, she watched him lift his eyes up infuriated. 

***In all honesty, Sehun can't fight his parents. The fact that they are his parents is enough of a reason for it. He's had a good upbringing and he respects them. His mother might be much, but she's never approved of Namjoo from the beginning. To relate in real life, some mother-in-laws never like their daughter-in-laws and never learn to like them. Even for me, so to speak, I wouldn't be able to disrespect my parents. They are my parents - their words are law. And in fact, Sehun arguing with his parents will really bring him and Namjoo and Soo Ae nowhere. The only two solutions are the divorce or until one of Sehun's parents give him the "Yes" to keep Namjoo in the family. So far, that hasn't happened.  

***Trust me, I've worked with drama and angst for so long, I'l give you guys something good out of this. Lets remember only HanJoo gets the sad endings lolololol