The moment should have lasted forever, but it didn’t. His forehead pressed into hers when he moved a breadth away, wishing that he could kiss her again. He was unbelievably thankful for being alive. With heart still churning wildfire he stepped back, knowing he’d taken too much of her time already.

“Go get changed,” he let his arm fall from her back and watched her grab her clothes before closing the bathroom door. As soon as she disappeared behind it he jumped and clamped his hand into a fist to exclaim his joy. No such happiness ever treated him like this before. Sehun was urged to scream, fist pump the air, and shake someone to make them realize how overjoyed he was.

Jumping forward he landed on the bed and rolled around before burying his face into the blanket. Namjoo had let him kiss her. Namjoo had kissed him. They had kissed. And it felt undeniably great.

*****

It was crazy. Namjoo wondered if she was insane. As she stood there with her back to the wall, the clothes clutched to her chest, she replayed how he gently pulled her close, his hand at her back, her body pressed against his. She felt like her body was burning up, her heart doing weird things she couldn’t define.

Biting her lower lip she hated how she could still remember the touch of his lips. It was utmost perturbing. Clawing her nails into her clothes she felt an embarrassment burn her like never before. The kiss hadn’t been a simple one like the one they’d shared at their wedding. It was unnerving the way he’d kissed her. Too intimate, full of yearning, and a passion lit with fire.

Now Sehun wasn’t just going to be normal, naïve Sehun. He was going to be bold Sehun, who didn’t fear what she would say to him anymore. He didn’t declare it, but she could hear him speaking it through his actions. And she was afraid this marriage would really go on forever if she let herself fall in his trap.

That evening Eun Bi joined them again for dinner, as if this was her very own house. Part of Namjoo couldn’t stand the sight of her, wondering why she was let in and out as if this was her own home, as if Sehun’s parents had birthed her. The other half of her didn’t give a damn at all.

Throughout dinner there was a surprisingly calm atmosphere. Namjoo wouldn’t have expected more or less from the two women who loved gaining up on her. When Sehun offered to help her with dishes she shot him down and told him to make sure Soo Ae had her bath. Since dinner had been utterly peaceful she would have expected the same for post-dinner clean up, but Eun Bi stayed behind. It was awkward washing dishes with her.

“Have you thought about what I asked of you?” Eun Bi asked. When she made no reply, Eun Bi continued, “I asked you to leave Sehun. After all, you don’t care for him, do you? I mean, think about the life you could have outside of this house. Freedom for you again and you could live exactly the way you want. That sounds great. So why haven’t you gone yet? Is divorce too much of a process for you? It’s just some paper filling.”

Namjoo turned to her, “Sehun seems happy. Why should I pack up and leave?”

Eun Bi shrugged as if her remark had no effect at all, “I think it best you still consider my words. Your daughter will hurt less. But you know, if it’s not meant to be, it won’t be. I won’t bother you anymore with it.”

When Eun Bi finally left that evening, her stupid words still ran in circles inside her head. If it’s not meant to be, it won’t be. Discontent settled in her heart as she lie in bed, staring at that unique shelf Sehun owned. The candy and the flower that had wilted were gifts from Soo Ae, Sehun told her. He’d kept them for some unknown reason, but now he was glad he did.

She might not have fate with Sehun, but she was certain Soo Ae did. He was where her happiness stemmed from now. Everything might not be the best or have gone her way, but Sehun had done his best for her girl; provided for her, cared, dressed, and spoiled her rotten with dolls. He’d kept his word that she wouldn’t have to envy other children. Every time his mother lashed out at her, Sehun had helped keep Soo Ae from witnessing it.

That was all that mattered to her. So far, Sehun had kept his end of the bargain. But would she leave in the near future?

“Are you asleep?” she could feel him turn onto his side. “Namjoo?”

The blank darkness stood in front of her like a wall. She was imprisoned where she lay without possessing the freedom to move. Sehun’s arm slid over her and he snuggled close. A conflict in her heart screamed between falling against him and shoving him away. Struck by both angel and devil, she lay there paralyzed.

Did she love him? How could it be? The word was too big, much too burdening. But god, she didn’t hate him the slightest. Why?

The thought of how Sehun kissed her earlier in the day made her heart thump. Then very slowly, her hand treaded down and over the blanket till it smothered his hand.

Damn Sehun, was one of the last thoughts to bid her farewell before sleep came.

Hours later when Namjoo came to, she was lying on her back, her head turned to the left. As sleep wore off she recognized Sehun still snuggled against her. Without checking for the time, all thoughts dispersed when she saw that his eyes were open. The corner of his lips sprang up and his fingers readjusted their grip around her.

“’Morning,” he softly greeted. All words lost, her eyes only managed to stare as if she’d never seen him so close before. The peacefulness was eliminated when her phone alarm started going off, its volume raging. Surprised, she quickly turned away and sat up.

As she threw off the covers, he asked, “Do you never sleep in?”

“I have responsibilities unlike you,” Namjoo muttered, grabbing her phone to turn the alarm off. Without wasting a second’s moment, she was out the door. If she stayed with him a moment longer she would let him do to her whatever he wanted, whether it be teasing or being intimate. As if they hadn’t slept intimately already. Namjoo groaned to herself underneath her breath.

Breakfast passed by like usual. With Sehun’s father and Sehun, she realized she was beginning to lose out on time with Soo Ae. It was no longer the same as when only she and Soo Ae lived together. It was saddening, but she was proud and happy that Soo Ae got along with others.

This time Eun Bi didn’t stick around to help her wash dishes. Instead, she went off with Sehun’s mother to head out to the store or wherever it was they were headed. When she started toward the stairs, Soo Ae came running down already dressed in her outfit for the day.

“Don’t worry about me, mommy,” Soo Ae told, “I’m a big girl now. I know how to wear my own clothes. I’m going to go find grandpa. Daddy said he’s going to wait for you upstairs, so you better hurry up.”

Soo Ae shot her a broad smile then ran off. Twisting around to watch Soo Ae run off, Namjoo almost wished she still had Soo Ae to herself.

Sehun was sitting on the bed when she walked through the doorway. Giving her a smile he said, “Come sit.” Namjoo glanced at the empty spot beside him, as if she should be suspicious about what he was up to. Moving over she sat with him and glanced down when he placed the tie into her hand.

As she laced it around his neck she felt him purposely lean closer and fought hard to concentrate on only the tie. Even as she did so, she could feel him smiling, teasing her because he knew she was trying to avoid him.

“Namjoo.”

“What?”

“You’ll bring me lunch again, right?”

Then she suddenly recalled she owed Chanyeol lunch as well. Her answer was the very simple nod of her head. A kind of excitement threatened to spread through her, but Namjoo forced the feeling away.

“Namjoo,” he called again.

“What?”

“My birthday’s coming up.” Sehun told. “We never spent it together.” This time she looked up, their eyes meeting. “Lets do something, only us two. How about it?”

“There’s nothing to do.”

“There is,” he emphasized, “we can have dinner, see a movie, and watch the sun go down. I’d like to do what other couples do. Get dressed up and spend a romantic evening together. You don’t have to get me anything, just spend the evening with me, hmm?”

He didn’t give her a chance to agree before standing up to adjust the tie by himself. “What are you going to do today? Mom’s out of the house.”

“Just laundry, the usual cleaning,” she got up as well.

“All right,” he smiled handsomely at her, “then I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Yea.”

*****

Chanyeol was asleep at his desk with his head buried in his arms. A fresh tumbler of coffee beside his mouse. He seemed unconscious when Sehun walked over, having wondered why his friend wasn’t in sight.

“What’re you doing?” Sehun kicked his chair. “Have too much fun over the weekend?”

Chanyeol’s head shot up, his eyes swollen, and appeared as if he hadn’t slept at all. With a groan he reached to feel his back. “It’s so painful…”

Sehun ran his eyes over his friend, concluding that he didn’t look very injured. “What’s wrong with you?” Then he caught the whiff of the medicated pain reliever patch – the exact same smell that lingered off Namjoo Saturday night.

“I’m never going to do it again,” Chanyeol muttered, leaning his head into his arms again. “I’m crazy.”

“Maybe you are,” Sehun murmured underneath his breath, wondering what he had done that gave him so much pain, and he wondered what kind labor Namjoo had done that she’d used those patches too. He hadn’t inquired her for an answer. Now he was kind of wishing he had.

Concentration only worked for him for an hour before his mind began trailing off. He was even more excited now. Imagine spending an evening with Namjoo, just the two of them, having a romantic dinner. The thought made his heart flutter. He wanted to kiss her again, hold her in his arms, and hold hands with her every step along the way. Maybe have another child so Soo Ae could have someone to play with. He wanted so much. Deep down, he was sure, Namjoo felt the same too.

When time for lunch struck he hurried out to await Namjoo. He was impatient to find out what she was bringing for lunch today. At the open of the door he caught sight of the load in her hands, curious about why she’d brought so much.

“What’s with all the food?” Sehun wondered taking the lunch boxes from her.

“I brought some for Chanyeol too.”

“Chanyeol?” He immediately repeated surprised. “Why?”

“I owe him for helping me this weekend,” was her reply before she sighted Chanyeol coming down the hallway, massaging his shoulder. “Chanyeol!”

Sehun watched his friend turn their way and waved with his usual bright smile. They looked almost friendly. He hadn’t been aware that they’d gotten close. Finally seated at a table in the lounge, Sehun watched Chanyeol’s eyes pour over the food Namjoo brought. Out of all days, today was one he didn’t feel like he was the center of attention. Namjoo hadn’t come for him but Chanyeol as well.

Trying to sound optimistic, he questioned, “What did you two do over the weekend? You’re both sore, why?”

Chanyeol glanced at Namjoo, “She didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Sehun asked. He hadn’t touched the food at all, but Chanyeol was already digging in.

“While you were in Yeongwol, Namjoo had to go to Chuncheon to run an errand for your mother.” Chanyeol explained. “I just gave her a ride there and back…”

“What errand?” Sehun interrupted. He hadn’t known. Namjoo hadn’t told him anything. His mother hadn’t said anything either. Neither had Soo Ae. All of a sudden he felt like he was the one being kept in the dark.

“Just some fish delivery. It’s not a big deal,” Namjoo piped up.

“Fish delivery?” Sehun repeated in disbelief. Delivery was hard labor, especially if it had to do with fish that had to be kept fresh for sell. Seeing how the two of them were sore from the job made him a little angry. Namjoo hadn’t just gone out on an errand for his mother, but her Saturday that should have been spent with him was spent with Chanyeol.

Unfair.

“Are your muscles still sore?” Namjoo asked Chanyeol. “You’re still wearing those patches, aren’t you?”

Sehun poked at his food before calling Namjoo. The very moment she turned he popped the food into and grinned, happy to have caught her attention.

Once lunch was finished, Chanyeol left the table to return to work. Sehun was glad for his absence as he helped Namjoo pack up the lunch boxes.

“Looks like you two have gotten pretty close,” Sehun commented. “It’s nice to have a friend, isn’t it?”

Namjoo glanced at him and picked up the bag she’d come with, “I’ll head home then.”

“I’ll walk you out.” He offered, unwilling to let their time together be cut so short.

“Just go back to work, Sehun,” Namjoo insisted. “It’s not like I can get lost in this building.”

Sehun had to force a laugh. “Ok. I’ll see you when I come home.” He watched her disappear around the hallway and started back toward his office. While nearing his room he slowly stopped in his steps. No matter how it was, a husband should still walk his wife to the door, make sure she was safely out. Plus, he wanted so much to be with her every minute of the day.

Turning around he quickly turned around the corner, made his way down the corridor, but as soon as he rounded the corner to the lobby he quickly halted. Chanyeol was talking with Namjoo near the front doors, the both of them laughing over something. Again, he pondered over the fact that he hadn’t been aware they’d gotten so close already.

*****

Chanyeol had first wanted to leave the table. Sehun made it too obvious that he wanted to be alone with Namjoo. The aura flooded off him like negative energy. Chanyeol had felt unnerved, almost uncomfortable and so, had made his excuse to leave. Luckily, he caught Namjoo just walking into the lobby a minute or so later.

“You leaving?” Chanyeol approached her, looking around. “Where’s Sehun?”

“I told him to go back to work.” She answered. “Shouldn’t you be heading back to work too?”

“Ah…” reaching a hand back to purposefully scratch his head, he failed a fake smile. “I guess I should. Are you feeling better? It feels like my shoulders have been getting worse.”

“I’m more or less better,” Namjoo replied. “I’m sure it’ll go away in a few days. You’re probably not used to doing such heavy work.”

Again with another laugh, “No, I’m really not actually. I bet you worked just as hard in Muju.”

Her smile was calming. With a shrug, “It was light work.” Then they became quiet. “Um…I’ve been wondering…”

His attention immediately perked up, his heart jolting, curious what she had been thinking. Chanyeol wanted to slap himself, because obviously she hadn’t been thinking otherwise.

“You know…the night I got drunk…” her eyes searched his, “I didn’t do anything weird, did I?”

Chanyeol felt himself burn all over when he recalled how she’d cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. Nervous anxiety woke the butterflies up in his stomach. Finally mentally slapping himself to remember that Namjoo was his best friend’s wife and was probably worried about something she’d done that was uncalled for. He, too, didn’t want anything to go wrong between her and Sehun. It would just complicate things with him and his family. Most of all, he didn’t want her or her daughter to be having a hard time.

With a laugh he said, “Nothing I’d consider weird. You just knocked out.”

“Oh…really?” Namjoo looked relieved then laughed awkwardly. “Then that’s good.”

*****

Relief flushed through her as she walked out of the building. Now that that was over and done with, her shoulders finally felt lighter. Namjoo would have planned to head back home immediately, but along the way she couldn’t help but catch sight of the large 50% Sale sign hanging in front of popular store that usually sold costly items. After telling the driver to pull over she walked into the store to search through the racks. Actually, there was no reason to be there at all but she but here she was…shopping. Namjoo ended up browsing for a few minutes until she pulled out a blue button-up. As her heart jammed against her chest she knew why she’d come.

*****

The uneasiness that followed him around like a shadow shouldn’t be there. Sehun shouldn’t let doubt be getting to him so easily. He was certain Chanyeol and Namjoo were only mere acquaintances. After all, Namjoo didn’t really have friends. It would be nice, he convinced himself, if she had some friend other than him she could confide in. Then the question came again, was he really ok with her and Chanyeol becoming closer…possibly closer?

“Daddy,” Soo Ae called out. “Why did you drive past our house?” Swinging back into the present, Sehun peered at the street they were on.

“Oh…daddy did drive past our house,” Sehun realized, “sorry, Soo Ae. Daddy’s a little out of it today.”

“Out of it? What does that mean?”

With a laugh not to worry her, he told, “It’s just a phrase. Daddy was daydreaming.”

“About mommy?” Soo Ae teased with a giggle. Too bad it wasn’t an imaginary thought about Namjoo, rather a factual worry that she might find someone else more reliable than him.

Once they got home, he immediately headed upstairs hoping that Namjoo was there. He wanted assurance from her that she harbored no interest in any other men. That even if he was the worst, he still owned the spot as her husband, but Namjoo wasn’t in the bedroom when he walked in. Sehun merely started swerving around, intent on going to find her, but spotted the shirt sitting on his side of the bed. Curious, he picked it up realizing it smelled new and the tag was still attached.

All at once his heart began racing and dropping the shirt suddenly elated, he raced back down the stairs. Namjoo wasn’t in the kitchen or anywhere else in the home until he traveled downstairs to find her unloading his washed clothes into a basket. Too impatient to wait for her to realize his presence he walked up to her, pulling her against him. Namjoo let out a surprised shout. The basket dropped onto the floor, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter at all.

“Thank you,” he whispered, burying his face into her silky hair. “Thanks, Namjoo.”

He felt her shoulders tense up, but even if she wanted to wedge away he wouldn’t allow her to. Now he was suddenly confident that even if he was the worst choice she’d make, he was also the best. That his worries had been meaningless.