“Momm…” the door burst open and he immediately turned to see Soo Ae with a foot in the room.

Holding up a finger to his lips to silence her, he whispered, “Your mommy’s sleeping.” Standing up he extended a hand to her, “Come on. Lets go downstairs.”

“Daddy,” Soo Ae called as they headed out.

“Yea?”

“You like mommy a lot, don’t you?” At this Sehun laughed, both appalled and amused.

“What should we eat tonight?” Sehun switched the topic. “Pizza?”

“Yes! Pizza!”

And Sehun did just that. After the pizza delivery arrived he went back up the stairs to wake Namjoo. She was still sound asleep when he walked into the room and regretted that he had to wake her.

“Namjoo,” he gently shook her. “Wake up.”

“Geez, what time is it?” She mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

He helped push a strand of her hair over her head, “A little after five.”

“God! Why didn’t you wake me sooner!” Namjoo scorned as she stood to her feet, but he grabbed her arm to slow her.

“Calm down,” he ushered. “It’s not too late. Mom’s not home, so I ordered pizza. Have some before you eat some medicine. Are you feeling better?”

“Oh…yea,” she mumbled and followed him out. When they walked into the kitchen he had Namjoo sit down and brought her a cup of fresh water. By then, Soo Ae ran into the room to wrap her thin arms around Namjoo.

“Mommy! I missed you!” She exclaimed, leaning her head against Namjoo’s belly.

“Oh yea? You did?” Namjoo her hair.

“Soo Ae, let your eat mom first,” Sehun told, pulled out the chair at the head of the table, and sat down. Namjoo watched him set down a bottle of pills in front of her. “It’s what Chanyeol’s sister has when she's on her...you know...”

Embarrassment flushed through him when Namjoo glanced at him. Though there was no need to, he felt obligated to give her some sort of explanation. “Well…you know,” he began flustered, “I don’t have a sister…so I don’t really know how you feel when…”

“Is mommy sick?” Soo Ae glanced at him.

“I’m not sick,” Namjoo explained. “It’s something that happens every so often. Go watch TV or something.”

“Are you sure?” Soo Ae looked at her. “I know what you can eat if you’re sick.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Namjoo smiled and patted her head before urging her off. When she joined his father in the next room, Sehun turned back to look at Namjoo. He watched her take a few slow bites of the slice of pizza in her hand. They said nothing for a moment then Namjoo pushed the box toward him.

“You’re not going to eat?” Namjoo asked.

“I already ate,” he assured her. He wanted to say something, keep talking to her but didn’t know what to say.

“Thanks, Sehun.” For once, she finally looked at him as she said it. Seeing it brought a smile onto his face. He was genuinely happy.

“You’re welcome.”

After Namjoo ate another slice and swallowed two pills along with the water, they remained sitting there shrouded by silence. It was of the peaceful kind with an absence of tension. Remaining there like that made him realized he merely enjoyed her presence. Yet, it was so different from how they used to be. Usually, Namjoo tended to talk a lot and would try to get him to agree with her ways, but other times as well, in the past, he just stood there with her while she quietly let her thoughts run.

How many times had the two of them enjoyed each other’s company without having some kind of disagreement? They had never been the kind of couple who argued over the petty matters. Majorly because he had been the one adjusting to her wild ways. Back then, he’d been fearful that if he didn’t, he’d lose her interest. Now, the situation was still similar in an aspect. Sehun was trying to appease her in all ways possible, even though thus far, everything that occurred had been in his favor. They were still trying to accommodate to each other’s ways so that Soo Ae wouldn’t suffer. Namjoo was trying, too, in her own way.  

If their steps matched one day, they could live together just like this.

He would be happy, very happy.

“What kind of friends are they?” Namjoo perked up.

He watched her tap her finger onto the cardboard. They never really held hands before nor had they been intimately close. Those little interactions between couples he sometimes saw on the streets, he hoped he could do them one day with the person who was now his wife. There were many days ahead for those things to happen, but he was uncertain Namjoo would let him into her sphere. He wanted in, he knew that, but getting Namjoo to really look at him was another story.

“They’re normal people,” Sehun replied and watched her raise a brow. “They got close during a club play and got married a year ago. They moved down to Daegu and they’re flying up this weekend to visit her parents.”

“I guess that is normal,” Namjoo commented.

“Getting married to your first love is pretty normal too.” Sehun added. When she glanced at him he only shot her a smile.

*****

First love. If he would stop repeating that to her. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know it. Sehun had been the first boy she ever liked genuinely. He had been there to accompany her and if he’d known it, still let her push him around. She had actually looked forward to seeing him those many days until he called quits. After that, she promised herself not to think of that goody-good boy any more. Images of him were so well etched into her memory that she would still recognize him even some four or five years after they ended their relationship. And here they were, married.

That weekend they left Soo Ae under the care of his father. Namjoo had been quite reluctant about it, because that meant his mother would still be around. She still couldn’t trust Sehun’s mother. What if she decided to insult Soo Ae, hurt her somehow? But then his dad ushered them out of the house, telling them to enjoy themselves.

Namjoo left the house unsettled, and always, with no choice.

“You can call back and check on Soo Ae later,” Sehun tried to comfort her in the car. “If there’s one thing my mom can’t go against, it’s my dad, so don’t worry.”

“How long are you going to stay?” Namjoo asked. “Lets leave after an hour.”

“Lets do that then,” Sehun agreed and turned around the corner at the green light.

They arrived at a brightly lit house. Yellow in the daytime but appearing a golden hue under the heavenly lit stars. The classic porch lights glowed luminous white as they approached the home. A short walkway was decorated with rose bushes that slightly swayed with the gentle night breeze. White curtains had been drawn to a close in front of the two large front windows where shadows were most noticeable.

Namjoo slowed behind Sehun and when he turned around to see her a few steps back, grabbed her hand to pull her forward. At the ring of the bell the door opened.

“You’re finally here!” Yeon Mi, a tall slender woman, with feminine narrow eyes greeted. Her hair was a shade of reddish-brown underneath the bright light bulbs in the house. Namjoo noticed that she was taller than her when she walked in.

“You cunning brat, I can’t believe you got married out of the blue,” Yeon Mi playfully punched Sehun.

“I was supposed to do that,” a male voice called from the leather sofa. Getting up, the buff man walked over with a radiant smile. “I’m Yeon Mi’s husband, Gil Han. I guess you’re Namjoo. Nice to meet you.”

Namjoo stared at his extended hand and timidly shook it under the pressure unintentionally pinning her down.

“Are you guys hungry? There’s dinner in the kitchen,” Yeon Mi invited. “Make yourself at home, Namjoo. Don’t be shy. I have all sorts of things to tell you about Sehun later and you’re going to love it.”

Namjoo glanced up at Sehun to see him looking nervous and wondered what this was about.

“Come on, Yeon Mi,” Sehun nervously laughed and slipped an arm behind her to urge her on. “Why don’t you go find something to eat first? I gotta censor these people.”

She frowned at him but did as told. When she stepped into the exuberant kitchen with pastel colored walls she glanced back curiously to see Sehun hastily speaking to the others. Sehun and secrets? She would have never thought of it. What kind of stuff would Yeon Mi have to tell her? Sehun didn’t appear as a secretive person. Namjoo thought this just might end up an interesting night before a can of beer appeared in front of her face.

“Care for a drink?” She turned at the voice to see Chanyeol standing adjacent to her.

“I’m fine,” she rejected and before she could look at all the food on the table, he held out his paper plate of chips and other snacks to her.

“Have some,” he urged, “I’ll get you a bottle of water, but this means you owe me a drink the next time around.”

Namjoo glanced up at him to see him shooting her a smile she couldn’t tell was mischievous or not.

Then leaning in, whispered, “Doesn’t Sehun’s mother make you feel like your ears are gonna fall off?” Then leaning back, waved his hand around his ears in an over exaggerated movement, which she found funny. “I swear every time I run into her I want to mute her.”

The corner of her lips sprang up. “I’d be first to do that.”

“Wouldn’t you?” He asked, amusement on his lips then held his hand out. “Didn’t I promise you before I would help you get out sometimes?”

Namjoo glanced at his open palm.

“Give me your phone.” He said. “Or is it that Sehun keeps an extra eye on you and doesn’t permit you to carry one around?”

“You think I let him control me?” She found herself saying and listened to Chanyeol laugh.

Namjoo hesitated when she pulled the phone out of her pocket, but Chanyeol took it from her hand.

“Sehun’s rarely determined about anything,” Chanyeol told her. “His will lacks strength.”

“Maybe he hasn’t found anything worthy to be competent about,” Namjoo found herself defending and then immediately shut her lips. Chanyeol handed back the phone, again, with that smile of mischief on his lips.

“Yea?” He asked. “I bet you’d know him better than anyone then, right?”

Namjoo glanced away, wondering if his words had double meaning. Wasn’t he supposed to be Sehun’s good pal? Did it mean he knew what her and Sehun’s actual relationship was?

“I stayed with Sehun for a few weeks or so,” Chanyeol explained, “my parents were in the middle of their breakup and I hated going back home, so Sehun let me stay with him. His mom was even worse than my alarm clock. You know how loud she talks, don’t you?”

Namjoo nodded, wondering why he was telling her this.

“So if you’re having a hard time, I know what you have to bear with,” Chanyeol patted her back. Namjoo only stared up at him, wondering what he was actually thinking. “Her tongue can actually be a double-edged sword. Sharp and mean. Poor Sehun, to have grown up with her.”

Pressing her lips together with nothing to comment about she eyed the delicious food panned up on the table. For a moment, she even felt guilty for talking about Sehun’s mother like this behind his back. This woman, after all, was Sehun’s birth mother who’d raised him and Namjoo knew how hard it was to raise a child.

“Hungry?” Chanyeol asked. Setting aside his plate he grabbed an empty one, “What do you want?”

Namjoo was prompted to open and decline, but then realized she was a little bit hungry. After filling up the plate he handed it to her along with a fork, a spoon, and some napkins.

“Do you like the city better than Muju?” Chanyeol wondered and watched her eyes grow big on him. He smiled with a short laugh, “Don’t worry, I don’t know anything unnecessary about you. Did Sehun tell you I was the one who gave him your address?”

Now that had her attention.

“No.”

“Do you go on the internet?” He inquired.

“No.”

That mock smile appeared back on his face, but she could tell it wasn’t directed at her. “They were going to come harass you, so I told Sehun to come see you first and I deleted the rest of their comments. Good thing that didn’t happen, huh?”

Namjoo thought back to when she first saw Sehun again after they broke up. She hadn’t been happy about it and had been even less happy with his intrusion back into her life, but then here she was, married and Soo Ae had a father. Should she hate how things turned out or not?

Chanyeol had saved her from a horrific scrutiny and Sehun now provided for them.

“Anyway, that daughter of yours, she’s cute,” Chanyeol complimented.

“What are you two doing?” Yoo Jin interrupted before she could reply. “If Sehun saw how close you two are getting, wouldn’t he get jealous?”

Again, before she could react, Chanyeol burst into laughter, “Really? You think? I’ve never seen him jealous before.”

Yoo Jin looked entertained before putting an arm around her to lead her back to the living room. The matching white leather furniture looked dull against the creamy walls and the tall lamp in the corner. On the coffee table in the center of the furniture pieces sat more drinks. Namjoo hoped Sehun wasn’t drinking. She didn’t want Soo Ae to see a drunk father nor did she want to be stranded here till he sobered up.

“Sit with Sehun.” Yoo Jin led her to her seat and took to sitting on the arm chair Chanyeol settled in. “So what’s the surprise, guys?”

Yeon Mi and Gil Han looked like an exceptional couple seated together. They matched well, and when together, seem to give off the vibe that they made up for each other’s losses. Beside each other they created a picture of perfection and Namjoo found herself wondering how their marriage life was. Perhaps, very normal since they’d married under circumstances where both parties were deeply devoted to one another.

Namjoo envied their life.

“We’re finally going to be parents,” Yeon Mi exclaimed excitedly as her husband clasped her hands firmly.

Yoo Jin squealed with congratulations, but Namjoo suddenly felt dark gloom weave itself over her. She awkwardly smiled and muttered a congratulations as well and then gulped when Yeon Mi turned to look at her.

“You know,” Gil Han began, “since you already have a daughter, maybe you could give us tips. Yeon Mi’s nervous about being pregnant.”

The gulp stopped midway down when all their attention turned to her. Anxiety flushed through her. What was she supposed to say? She’d never been pregnant. Oh god the situation…was just damn perfect, she grumbled to herself.

“Just…go to the doctor often,” was all Namjoo managed before feeling like she needed to slam her head somewhere.

After they dispersed she immediately escaped back to the kitchen where she began gulping a bottle of water in hopes of avoiding everyone else, even started stuffing herself so that if they saw she was eating they wouldn’t bother her. It seemed to work until Yeon Mi approached her.

“Doing ok?” She asked. “The food’s to your liking?”

“Oh…yea…sure.” Namjoo rapidly nodded her head, glanced at the woman once then averted her eyes.

Yeon Mi smiled kindly, “I heard Sehun didn’t know about your daughter.”

Gripping onto the water bottle Namjoo glanced down at the tile, observing how it reflected the light in the ceiling.

“I heard from Gil Han how rumors floated around,” she sympathized, “it must’ve been a hard time. I actually think Sehun’s very happy right now. I haven’t seen him so nervous before when I said I would tell you things about him. I was just joking, but I wonder what he has to be nervous about.”

“He’s not the type to have secrets,” Namjoo found herself quietly saying. Even if he had any, he wouldn’t last long with them. It was just his nature to be honest.

“You should know him best,” Yeon Mi stated. Namjoo found herself thinking otherwise. She couldn’t understand why they kept telling her that. Just because she was known as his wife didn’t mean she was aware of everything in his head.

“In college Sehun was always studying. He didn’t have nights out like Chanyeol unless we dragged him out,” Yeon Mi told her, randomly picking up chips to eat from an opened bag. “He was boring, but Chanyeol did get him to date a few times. One of those girls really liked him. They made a really cute couple, but he turned her down. I could never understand what was running through his head. There were so many girls waiting in a line for him.”

Yeon Mi shook her head as if in disappointment and Namjoo found herself looking off elsewhere. So what exactly was the story she was supposed to be listening to? She’d heard enough of Sehun’s dating life. It was boring and he didn’t like them, so what?

“I think I know why he was never interested in anyone,” Yeon Mi reflected. “Chanyeol once said something about how infatuated he was with this girl he dated in high school and how he went along with her wild ways. How he always had fun and adventures with her, even when her reputation wasn’t that great. The girls he dated in college were all the reserved type, came from good families, and wanted to find a dream mate. I think Sehun passed time by trying to find bits and pieces of his first girlfriend in them, but he couldn’t find it.

“You know, like I said, Sehun was kind of quiet. All he did was study. There was no excitement with him, but now there’s this flare in his eyes.” Yeon Mi smiled at her. All of Sehun’s friends were always so kindhearted. “You two look really cute together and I’m sure he’s glad he found you again. It might be awkward because so much time has passed, but I hope you can give him another chance again. You can’t relive your relationship, but you can definitely build a better one.”