The sun was quick to come up. Namjoo dreaded the thought of taking Soo Ae downstairs for breakfast. Yesterday had been disastrous, but it couldn’t hold her back from doing what she was supposed to. Steeling her heart, she headed downstairs to aid in breakfast preparation. It was no surprise that Sehun’s mother gave her the cold shoulder, even Eun Bi disregarded her existence. In the end, drenched with cold tension she only set the table.

Again, Soo Ae ate little breakfast. The kitchen, once more, was dumped with an atmosphere of strong loathing. It drove Namjoo toward feeling worthless, questioning why she was still there yet again, even when she knew why she had chosen to stay, and she wondered how worse Soo Ae felt, but she couldn’t give up. As a mother, she wanted to show Soo Ae what standing up for herself meant.

After breakfast, Namjoo came to the realization that she was most glad Soo Ae was still going to be at daycare majority of the day. Being in the house less would help her feel better. If she saw more of Sehun’s mother’s foreboding resentment toward them, she would only start to think negatively.

“Will you be all right staying home?” Sehun wondered after she knotted his tie.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Call me if anything happens,” Sehun urged and with a pat on the back walked out of their room. Namjoo followed him to see Soo Ae join him and smiled when she turned to wave at her. When they left, Namjoo returned to doing her usual, cleaning the house. Today, she was going to vacuum, rid the home of the dust that had intruded into their home. Sehun’s mother didn’t show herself and it wasn’t long before Namjoo found out she was home alone.

While stuffing the vacuum away into the storage closet, her phone started ringing. At once she suspected Sehun was calling in to check up on her, but when she grabbed her phone, found out it was no other than Tao.

“Tao.” She greeted.

“Hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard your voice,” he remarked. “Are you free to come out?”

Namjoo suddenly turned to glance around, as if she’d find Sehun’s mother standing behind her with lasers shooting from her eyes. In fact, no one was there with her at all. “Sure.”

“I’ll come get you. Will your mother-in-law be all right with it?” Tao asked.

“Well,” she hesitated then said, “I’m the only one home right now. It probably doesn’t matter.”

“Then I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he promised. “I only want to see you for a moment.”

Hanging up, she ran upstairs for her bag then returned downstairs to keep her eye out the window, hoping that Sehun’s mother wouldn’t return before Tao got there. A little breather wouldn’t hurt, she decided. She promised herself she wouldn’t take long. If she was gone too long she knew it would cause trouble for Sehun. The last Namjoo wanted was for Sehun to be pinned into a situation where he had to pick his family or her. Namjoo didn’t want him to get disowned or lose his family just because of her.

Tao arrived in a cab and she joined him. Minutes later they ended up at a street café where he bought them both club sandwiches and some soft drinks. The crowd with them in the cozy building was fair and all seemed too immersed doing what they were doing to worry about why a housewife was out of the house where she should still be.  

“I’m going back to Muju,” he announced. “I wanted to call you a few days ago, but I thought you’d be busy. Anyway, how’s it going? Is that guy and his family treating you well? Or have they been giving you the rough living?”

Namjoo managed to pull on a smile that hurt her soul. It felt like a struggle to manage the energy. She thought about telling Tao about how everything had been fine one moment; that Soo Ae had been the happiest she’d ever known her to be. She’d gotten her father and grandpa had treated her with the most sincerity and he had even tried warming up to her, get her to appreciate family life, get closer to Sehun and rely on him. Namjoo wanted to tell him about Eun Bi and how she was irritated with her. Tell him about the DNA test Eun Bi took behind their backs and how everything that was once in place was now falling apart; talk about how she had started accepting Sehun again and she wanted to ask him what she should do.

It was obvious no matter how she thought of it. Tao would tell her to leave. He would look at her, eyes with fury, and ask her why she was bearing such treatment. He would remind her how he warned her from the start that this was a bad idea. Tao would tell her to love herself more. Say she and Soo Ae deserved so much more than this, and Namjoo would know he was right but the decision to leave or stay was up to her. No one was going to do it for her.

“It’s been good,” Namjoo lied. “Sehun is treating us well. He’s been really good to me and a good dad to Soo Ae. She’s so happy because of him. You should see her sometime, how happy she is.” That wasn’t a lie. It was the truth. “His father’s been kind, too. I owe him for treating Soo Ae well.”

“That’s good news,” Tao smiled approvingly.

“So,” Namjoo began, “are you heading back to prepare for your wedding?”

He slightly laughed, shy at the mention of it. “Il Kyeong has settled in. I’m not needed around anymore. To be honest, I extended my stay in case you might need help, but since it sounds like it’s all well for you, I think it’s about time I head back to stay with mom.”

“You know you don’t need to worry about me.”

“That’s right, you’ve always done well,” Tao smiled. “I was just worried if that husband of yours was reliable enough not to cause you trouble.”

“Sehun?” She said. “Don’t worry about him. He’s a really nice guy.”

Tao nodded, “Probably means you won’t ever come back to Muju then.”

Namjoo stared at him. Part of her wished to return to the home of peace, be in that field, and watch Soo Ae run about freely. “Maybe not, but I will come back to visit.”

“Come back for my wedding,” Tao insisted. “Even if you’re married, it would be a regret just leaving things off here.”

Namjoo forced the smile again, “I think so, too.”

*****

All throughout the day Sehun was bombarded with unsettling thoughts. The things his mother might do to Namjoo and if she would fight back. The various possibilities heightened his worries. If the day could be over within the next second he would rush home as fast as he could.

Lunch was distasteful and he carried with him no appetite. Suddenly, he wanted Namjoo’s food again and he thought of how fine it had been when he frequently went to the apartment to be with her and Soo Ae. The very perfect imagery of the past eased his heart. Each memory made with Namjoo was even more meaningful now, more significant by the minute.

He was out the doors the very minute his shift ended. He would pick Soo Ae up and they would arrive at home, where Namjoo was waiting for him. The very best moment of his day was coming back to her now. However, when they arrived home he spotted his mother in the kitchen alone. He shot her one glance and pulled Soo Ae after him, disallowing his daughter to hear anything spiteful.

“Namjoo?” He called out when he reached the top. “Namjoo.”

“Mommy!” Soo Ae hurried off into their room. When Sehun walked in, Soo Ae was standing there staring at nothing. Turning around to look at him, with enlarged eyes full of concern, and her voice weak, “Where’s mommy?”

Yes, that he’d like to know as well. Calmly stepping forward he slightly slouched down and took a hold of her small shoulder. “Go stay in your room, ok? I’m sure mommy’s busy somewhere. I’ll go find her.”

Soo Ae’s eyes spoke of the very thing he was thinking about. What if her mother left her behind? His heart sunk, worry thriving over every inch of him. Once Soo Ae closed the door to her room he hurried downstairs.

“Did she leave?” His mother’s voice surprised him when he reached the very bottom. His eyes set only on the door. Sehun turned around to stare at her, not planning to comment. A short laugh and a scoff escaped her lips. “She should’ve taken that wench with her.”

Anger bit its teeth into his very heart where it began spreading, but he wouldn’t let his mother know she’d upset him. Doing so would only feed her pleasure about this all. Upon hearing an engine outside he quickly walked over to the window to see Namjoo step out of a cab, a man coming out after her. Disregarding the identity of the man, he pulled the door open, intent on getting Namjoo back into the house – in his home. As he neared, his steps heavy, he recognized the striking friend of Namjoo’s. Tao.

“Sehun…” Namjoo spoke when she noticed him.

Not allowing her to say anymore he grasped her arm and pulled her away from Tao. “Go inside. Now.”

Namjoo glanced at him innocently, but also with a frown. He was suddenly upset over how she glanced at Tao who had to nod his head at her, as if to tell her she had permission to go back to being his wife. When Namjoo walked away Sehun turned back to eye the supposed-to-be-friend of his wife’s.

“I’ll be firm and straightforward,” Sehun started, “you know Namjoo’s a married woman. It isn’t appropriate for a man to be calling a woman out. In the future, I hope you think of that first before approaching my wife again.”

Tao didn’t return amusement, but stared back as if staring him down. “Then I hope you can also be a man yourself and be there for them when they need you. You’re supposed to be a husband and a father, be their pillar and support. At least you should have the guts not to break any promises you’ve made. If I find out you’re unable to keep your words about making them happy, I’ll be back here to take them back to Muju.”

*****

Sehun seemed angry with her, but Namjoo didn’t know why. His mother was standing on the other side when she stepped into the home. The corner of her lips slanted upwards making her appear like a mischievous bully.

“Now that your play here has failed, you’re already latching onto another man,” she commented. “You move really fast.”

Namjoo had to grit her teeth together in order to restrain her anger from showing. “Take back your words.”

“What words? Ah…but where’s the lie in that?” His mother challenged teasingly. “But what should I do? I have more to say about you, you fox. Does that man’s mother know about your daughter? How many times have you been married before? Exactly who is the father of your kid? Have you had so many men that you don’t even know? Surely you must know the father. Is he a rogue? A thug? Or, perhaps, is your daughter even yours?”

Namjoo’s fist shook and she would have lunged at the woman if not for the fact that Sehun opened the door just in time. He only glanced at his mother once before grabbing her hand to hastily lead her upstairs. Fire raged through her, embarking a journey into the depth of her veins where it might forever reside.

“Where were you and what did you do with him?!” Sehun turned around to interrogate her upon the close of their bedroom door. Fiery rage blared in his stern eyes, his brows stiffly twisted together. “How could you go out at this time!? Do you know what my mom will think about you?! Do you know how scared Soo Ae and I were, thinking you upped and left when you should be here waiting for us! How many times are you going to do this, Namjoo?!”

Throwing aside her wonder for his fury, Namjoo became emotionally set off the moment he started yelling at her. Unable to control herself and in full need of a punching board, she lashed out at him.  

“Why? Why should I be the one waiting for you at all times? Should I become a prisoner in this house? Is that what I’m meant to be? Oh, so you agree with your mother that I am just a thing, jumping from hand to hand? Do I live here to serve you?!” Namjoo raised her voice. “What if I wanted to go out? What if I wanted to see him? What are you going to do about that? What can you do about that? Do I need to live under the eyes of your mother? Tip-toe around her while you get the benefit of everything?!”

“That is not the point I’m trying to make!”

“Oh? Then what are you saying?” Namjoo shook her head, threw her hands out very sarcastically. “Because what I see is you’re playing the blame game. You’re saying I should be here, doing this and that for you. What am I, a sitting duck? Can I not have my own brain, my own will? Are you hurt because I’ve never been imprisoned under my parents, so you want me to have a taste of what you’ve lived through? So you’re going to do the same thing to me, is that it? To make it impossible for me to leave?”

“Namjoo!” Sehun exclaimed from the top of his lungs.

When he grabbed her arm to grasp her attention, Namjoo shook him off. “Don’t touch me, cause I have more to say!”

“Stop it! Stop it!” Sehun fought to grab her, but Namjoo mercilessly flagged her arms around to ward him off and away from her. Finally managing to hold her, he shook her gently, “Soo Ae’s going to hear you!”

At that, Namjoo snapped close. Staring up at him with a heavy frown she shook herself free. Stepping back she glared at him, suddenly unsure about what she was so worked up over. A deep repressed sigh left his chest and he bit his lips.

“I don’t need you to serve me,” Sehun stated quietly and breathlessly from having been upset. “You are not a sitting duck and I don’t intend to hold you back from anything you want. Do you think I really want you to become a prisoner in your own home? I just...for a moment I thought you left. I was scared and worried, ok? And I just don’t want mother to be twisting your actions against you.”

The words ran through her mind, her heart feeling every emotion from the words said. She glanced at him.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

She let the silence go on, felt it zip around them. Feeling the earlier vexation slip from her, she apologized. “I’m sorry.”

“Lets just forget it,” he walked over to hug her, put his hand on her back. “Go see Soo Ae.”

Doing as told she embarked to the next room where her daughter was sitting on the ground with her dolls. Heading over she sat down on the ground before her crossed-legged. Her daughter didn’t turn to look at her, but only continued to play with her dolls as if she weren’t there. Namjoo got the sense that maybe she was upset with her, the exact same way Sehun was with her. Thinking she’d left them out of the blue.

“Are you mad?” Namjoo playfully poked her. Soo Ae kept the frown on her face, but her downturned lips eventually began ceasing to maintain its firm line when she poked her again. With a huff, Namjoo pulled her daughter onto her lap. “You’re so big now!”

“Then mommy can sit on my lap when I get bigger,” Soo Ae offered innocently. Namjoo couldn’t help but laugh. “Mommy?”

“Yes?”

Twisting around, Soo Ae stared into her eyes, “Don’t go anywhere, ok, mommy? Wherever you are, you have to take me with you. Promise?”

Her heart melted with a warmth mixed with sadness, realizing Soo Ae thought it was possible for her to abandon her. Pulling on a smile, Namjoo cupped her face, “I promise. You know mommy loves you so, so, so, so much!” Securely hugging her, Namjoo whined, “Why’s my baby growing up so fast? You’re going to be as old as me in no time.”

“Will I still be your baby when I’m big?”

“Of course.”

“Even if I get a baby brother or sister?”

Namjoo snorted at the thought, but patted Soo Ae’s small back, “You’ll always be my baby, forever and ever.”

As the evening droned on, nothing seemed to change. The air at dinner was still hostile and Eun Bi seemed to be making the house her own. Whenever Namjoo looked at Sehun’s father, she felt more apologetic each time. The old man seemed to be having a hard time accepting the fact the granddaughter he’d doted on wasn’t really his bloodline. On his left, his wife still threw a fit. Namjoo wondered why he hadn’t yet given her the word to leave. There was no reason to hold back. In truth, she wouldn’t hold anything against the man if he ever walked up to her and told her to leave his son.

Namjoo expected the upcoming days to follow the same hostile manner. Keeping to herself and doing her chores even without being told to. It was the only thing she could do at the moment. The only advantage was Eun Bi was less of a bother to her. Whether Sehun’s mother was still enforcing her role as the new daughter-in-law, Namjoo didn’t know anything of it. She didn’t doubt the plan was in the making.

That afternoon when she was clearing dust off their drawers, she turned at the sound of soft footsteps. It was a fright to see Sehun’s mother standing behind her, her eyes looking fierce but pleading. This time Namjoo noted another yellow envelope within her hands. Stepping forward she held the envelope out to her. Without asking anything, Namjoo took it, opened it, and pulled out the documents within it.

Divorce papers.

“I’ve included a compromise of money and child support,” she explained. “All you have to do is sign it. It seems these days my son doesn’t even care about his own mother, so I want you to have it first. You pass this along to Sehun and tell him to sign it as well. If he gets on his knees and begs you to stay, you should know your duty. You’ve ruined enough of our family image, but I’ll keep my mouth shut about it. You should be thankful. I’m helping you keep you and your daughter’s dignity. I think that should be fair enough after all the damage you’ve done.”

A kind of calm sadness washed over Namjoo. His mother’s words travelled through her ears, but her eyes scanned the documents. It was true, they were from the courthouse. Legitimate in all perspective.

“What are you doing?” She questioned, then urged, “Sign it.”

Despair slowly dug its way under her skin. In her head she heard Sehun’s footsteps crunching against the soil and she was standing on the field again with Soo Ae helping her hang up sheets. She was back at the beginning, seeing Sehun for the first time in four years. If she could turn back time, possibly return to that day she would have avoided him at all costs. The situation wouldn’t be as sticky as it was now. She wouldn’t have borrowed that apartment, been tempted to return to the city. Sehun wouldn’t have tripped over her again and she wouldn’t feel as trapped as she did now. One side pushing and one side pulling her.

Namjoo watched his mother dig into her expensive bag, pull out a pen, and forcibly slipped it between her fingers. Then she watched with eagle eyes for her to make her move.

From the very beginning, Namjoo was certain that even if the stay under this roof was unbearable, she had enough determination to deal with it. All for Soo Ae. All for Sehun. Now all for her.

“Do you want me to get on my knees?” The woman asked. Namjoo never expected her to have the guts to, but when the woman quietly got onto her knees an absurd form of shock slapped her in the face. Barely falling a step back with lips prodded open, Namjoo gripped onto the papers in her hand.

His mother stared up at her pleadingly, “You have a daughter yourself, imagine how it feels watching your child’s future plummet with the wrong person. Wouldn’t you, as a mother, want to take action to prevent your child’s future from becoming shambles? Please, leave my son.”