"You're here? Come in," a frank old man's voice beckoned when the door opened. 

"Hello!" Soo Ae politely greeted when she followed Sehun in. 

Sehun's father lowly chuckled, "Look at her, she's so big. What's your name?" 

"Soo Ae, I just turned five," Soo Ae proudly introduced. 

Namjoo froze by the lamp that glowed orange at night and settled her eyes on the ground. His father didn't sound angry. At least that was good, but why did they have to be here?

She was uneasy. The thought of walking further into Sehun's home was something she'd never thought about. She didn't want him and she didn't need a father for Soo Ae. They've made it fine thus far and could do so in the future. All this ruckus was meaningless. 

"What are you doing?" Sehun called back. "Come in." 

Namjoo glanced at the confidence in his eyes and stepped forward. Soo Ae was sitting on a chair beside his father, excitedly telling him about the other kids at daycare. His father listened with attentive ears and an excited smile. Relief flushed through Namjoo that at least his father seemed to adore Soo Ae.
 
A bowl of fresh fruits settled onto the center of the table and Namjoo turned to catch his mother shooting her a tiny glare. 

"Do you like fruits, Soo Ae?" His father asked her. 

"I love them!" Soo Ae answered enthusiastically. 

Cheerfully laughing his father stabbed a piece of apple with a fork and handed it to her. A small smile splintered across Namjoo's face when Soo Ae thanked him and took a glorious bite out of it. She was quick to become stiff when he finally turned to look at her. The eyes that scanned her as if judging made her more nervous. Even though she'd received them plenty times before she didn't want to receive it in front of Soo Ae. 

"Soo Ae's mother?" His voice was coaxed with a calm gentleness, way too different from his wife's scorning voice. 

Namjoo nodded, "I'm Kim Namjoo."

"You've worked hard, I'm glad you came." He smiled. 

Namjoo wasn't sure what she'd worked hard for, but nodded confused. 

"Where have you lived all this time? Are your parents still with you?"

These biographical questions were some of her most hated. 

"I don't live with my parents anymore," was what Namjoo opted for. "I lived in Muju for a while and moved recently." 

"Mommy worked really hard," Soo Ae cut in. "She even planted her own garden. Sometimes things grew and sometimes they didn't, but it was amazing."

Sehun's father smiled and her head adoringly.

"It must have been hard alone," he sympathized. "You went to the same school as Sehun, is that correct?" 

For some reason Namjoo was unable to look away from his eyes and nodded. 

"I'll apologize for my irresponsible son, he must have put you through so much," his father apologized, the touch of his voice coming from his heart. "I won't let you suffer alone anymore. So come live here with us."

"Honey!" His wife voiced loudly, stunned. 

Namjoo's eyes widened. 

"Get married," he finished. "It's the only right thing to do now. From young, I've always taught Sehun to have a sense of responsibility. He should do that now."

A knot formed in her chest. Namjoo wanted to dig a pit right in the kitchen so she could escape. Sehun hadn't muttered a word and she couldn't be sure whether he was in on this or not. Either way, she hadn't expected this. Too caught off guard she became speechless.         

Her lids fluttered, eyes flew deliriously around the room. Her pulse intensified and her nerves tensed. An exasperated smile filled her lips before it died and grew again.

To get married...she would have never dreamed of it, lest would she have ever imagined sharing a future with Sehun.

What kind of farfetched nonsense were they talking about?

"Soo Ae," Namjoo started, "isn't Sehun's. She's mine." 

She heard his mother undeniably snort underneath her breath, "What nonsense..." 

"I won't get married," Namjoo lifted her head up courageously and stared into Sehun's father's eyes, "I raised her by myself just fine and will continue to do so. I'm grateful for your concern, but I don't need it. I don't need a marriage to prove anything nor do I need Sehun's accountability." 

Nodding her head she slid her chair back and held her hand out, "Come on Soo Ae. Lets go home." 

Staring at them innocently, she slowly set down the fork in her hand and following Namjoo, stood. 

"Bye-bye, grandpa." She gave her farewell a little glumly and taking her mother's hand walked out.

"Namjoo!" Sehun came running down the yard after her. 

She immediately shook his hand off her arm and grew even angrier for a reason she couldn't define. 

Turning, she glared, "Marriage?!" Then screamed, "Marriage?!"

His brows grew stern guiltily, "My father doesn't have any bad intentions. If you'd just listen, look at the bigger picture..."  

"Leave us alone," she growled. "If you're that desperate to escape marriage with that Bi or whatever girl, go use someone else. I'm...not that easy. Don't use my daughter for your dirty tricks either. I'm really sick of it." 

Gripping Soo Ae's hand she tugged her daughter after her, but Sehun still had the guts to try and block them. 

Immediately halting in her steps she pierced a stare into his eyes, "Move."

"No," he refused.

A baffled sigh came out loudly. What the hell did he want from her?! 

Namjoo was on the verge of screaming her head off at him for bringing them here like this. Recalling Soo Ae, she deeply inhaled a long breath that cut the nerves in . "I can't really tell who you are anymore. I thought you were a coward or some nice person who was just naïve, but then you pull a lie and have the guts to pull me and my daughter along with you, and you even go as far as forsaking your future. I don't know what you want from us, but I suggest you sort out your priorities and don't come near us again. If you want to do something for us, do that." 

Pulling Soo Ae's hand she led her daughter toward the street and as they walked further away, Soo Ae turned around to look at Sehun with those round innocent eyes of hers.
 
The normal quiet space that they'd adapted to the past half year greeted them as warmly as possible upon their return. It was just what Namjoo wanted. Peace and quiet without disturbance. She cooked, they ate, and she set herself to cleaning up a little before starting Soo Ae's bath for her. While the water ran she thought about what luxury they'd been given so freely. 

She was stupid. She should have known there was a trick behind all this. A bitter smile crept onto her lips. Sehun was a pretty good liar, even better than she'd imagined. She'd give him props for that. 

Heaving a sigh she forced herself to set the emanating negative feelings aside and turned to look for Soo Ae. Upon realizing that her daughter had not yet come for her bath Namjoo called out for her. When she didn't respond Namjoo stepped out to find Soo Ae sitting on the bed, legs dangling off the edge. She'd been quiet ever since they returned and Namjoo couldn't fathom why. 

"What are you doing?" Namjoo asked getting onto knees in front of her. "Why haven't you come for your bath yet?" 

Quiet Soo Ae didn't reply and worried, Namjoo pressed her hands onto her daughter's.

"What's wrong, honey?" 

"Don't be mad, mommy."

Smiling, she assured, "I'm not mad." 

"Why do you hate Uncle Se-Se?" Soo Ae questioned.  

The quick smile she'd held went away just as fast and her expression blanked. 

"I've been a good girl, mommy, but why don't I have a daddy? You said good things happen to good people, but why don't I have a daddy?" Soo Ae asked. "Can't Uncle Se-Se be my daddy? Why is it bad that he wants to be my daddy? Why do you hate it? He makes you have fun and I like him, why is it bad?" 

There was an unexplainable strain in her heart and Namjoo felt extremely sorry. 

Big tears rolled down her cheeks, "I want a daddy, mommy. Please don't take him away."

Whenever Soo Ae hurt, Namjoo hurt ten times more. For not thinking about Soo Ae and only herself, she felt a sense of distain. 

To know that Soo Ae had wanted something so badly, but kept it in her heart without saying anything for her sake broke her heart.

"Mom's sorry Soo Ae, don't cry," reaching up to hug her Namjoo held her tight.  

That night she couldn't sleep. Rising from bed she walked around the home before sitting on the floor. Then one, two, and three days flew by. Whenever she looked at Soo Ae and watched her sit alone Namjoo felt worse by the hour. It was true that because Soo Ae never asked about her father she'd taken it as Soo Ae had just accepted life just the way it was; that she'd grown up without a father, would never have one.

In actuality, Namjoo should have known better. She was her mother, she should have thought about her feelings. Namjoo had thought she was doing and could do everything Soo Ae needed, but she hadn't bothered to wonder if there were things she couldn’t do for her that a father could. 

Guilt overwhelmed her with how reckless she'd been, but it wasn't something an apology would bandage. She'd hurt her own daughter. Yet, when she thought about going to Sehun, the stubborn half of her would rise. Then when she thought harder, Soo Ae's values were more important than her own. Namjoo would even run off the edge of a cliff if she had to, because even now, she was no longer worth anything.  

Getting up one late night when Soo Ae was deep asleep, Namjoo sat down and finally pulled out her phone.  

If it was for her beloved daughter that was more precious than her life, Namjoo would do anything.  

When Sehun answered, all she said was, "Come out."  

*****

Stripping out of his pajamas he pulled on fresh jeans and a shirt. When his father mentioned marriage Sehun felt as if he'd been silently expecting it. He'd taken to lying anyway and taking back his words only meant death. Upholding his righteous pride, his father would have no irresponsible soul underneath his roof. Even though it meant he could no longer fool around he was confident he could raise Soo Ae well. He couldn't understand why Namjoo was so against it or why she seemed so particularly against him. The only thing he could come up with was that she didn't trust him enough. 

It was nearly two in the morning, but Namjoo had called. It was the very first time she'd called him...ever. Grabbing his car keys he headed out and was off. When he arrived Namjoo opened the door without looking at him.  

"Be quiet, Soo Ae's asleep," was all she said and walked away.  

Without waiting for him she walked off. He spotted a beer can on the table as he followed. It was open and probably finished. He hadn't known that Namjoo kept alcoholic beverages in the house or perhaps she'd gone out to buy it, but on the other hand, maybe not. She wasn't one to leave Soo Ae unattended.  

She sat down on the floor by the corner of the couch, her back to him. Seeing her do that made him feel that she hated the sight of his face. Without waiting for her to tell him, he sat down on the floor as well. A short moment of silence ensued. It was beyond impossible to tell what Namjoo was thinking. 

"I'm not who you remember me as," her voice was a tad below quiet and Sehun had to strain his ears to hear her. "Wild and crazy and a rebel. What I did is so far from that. , , , tramp, wench; maybe they weren't lies. When you asked if Soo Ae was one of those jerk's kid, maybe that wasn't a wrong accusation either. You say you'd marry me for Soo Ae's sake, but you don't even know me and you want to spend the rest of your life with some stranger?" 

Sehun ran his eyes over her back, attentively listening. 

"If your friends said anything about me, they were probably telling you the truth. I can still feel the filth from their hands sprouting on my skin, the germs deep in my blood and no matter how many times I wash, it just doesn't go away. Every time when I wake up I want to crawl out of my skin. Whenever I stand in front of Soo Ae, I feel ashamed. I already sold myself; how am I a person worth spending your lifetime with? What you're picking up is rotting flesh. And you want to marry someone like this?" 

He could detect a tremble in her voice, but if tears were running he couldn't hear it. He really didn't know what to say. 

"No matter how much Soo Ae likes you, I can't give her up," she clarified. "When we go back to Muju, don't come look for us. If we could live quietly, I won't ask for anything else." 

The flashback of first arriving in Muju entered his head. The way their eyes had first met defiantly, he should have noticed something about it. From the very beginning when they met again, she had never welcomed him warmly. Soo Ae had greeted him cheerily and had always lived under Namjoo's protection, but Namjoo had never lived under anyone's. 

The way Namjoo felt was something he had no right to understand. Who was he to her in the first place anyway? Other than a nosy ex who'd forced his way into her life he was really no better than anyone else. To Namjoo, he was another reminder of what filth was. Yet, Namjoo had never not shown him kindness. He'd received hospitality from her and had allowed him to get close with Soo Ae.  

If it was them...he was willing.

"If," he finally spoke, "you give me a chance, I'll make sure Soo Ae goes to a good school; make sure she graduates college and get a good job. I'll let her wear pretty clothes, won't let anyone hurt her, and let her grow up the way you want her to. I won't let her be envious of others and I'll protect her well. I promise I won't let you two cry. So maybe, if you give me a chance we can go from strangers to understanding each other. I'll take your burdens, so you don’t have to bear them alone anymore. I'm willing to do that, if you give me a chance."   

Namjoo no longer chose to speak to him, but he knew she was crying. Her shoulders shook even though she remained utmost quiet. 

His heart broke for her. 

*****

Like any other day, Namjoo was up early. The sound of the knife hitting the chopping board resounded against the walls into her ears. Breakfast had been done and eaten, but she couldn’t sit. 

When the doorbell rang she lifted her eyes up before flattening them onto the chopping board.

"Soo Ae, go open the door for your dad." She ordered.  

When Soo Ae didn't move she glanced up to see that Soo Ae was staring very deeply into the TV.  

"Soo Ae," she called out once more before her daughter was up and running toward the door.  

The second the door clicked open Soo Ae screamed, "Daddy!"  

The only chuckle that belonged to Sehun hit her ears and as if they weren't there, Namjoo continued her work.  

"Hey, you," Sehun greeted closing the door after him.  

"I didn't think I'd see you again," Soo Ae hugged him again and Namjoo felt her eyes move up to the empty living room.  

"What do you mean you wouldn’t see me again?" He laughed and neared the counter she was at. "Are you ready? We can go now."  

"I don't work today, so just drop Soo Ae off at the daycare."  

"Is that so?" He asked with eyes on her, but she refused to look his way. "Then, I'll bring her back later. Do you want anything? I can stop by the store later."  

"No."  

"Bye mommy," Soo Ae bid farewell before grasping Sehun's hand.  

Namjoo heaved a breath when the door closed and when the silence closed in, stuffed some of the rolls she'd been cutting into . She cleaned up, sat around, and scrubbed the bathroom clean before her phone rang.  

It was Tao.  

"You're back already?" Namjoo questioned surprised.  

"I'm arriving in half an hour." He explained. "If you're not busy, want to come get me?"  

Namjoo glanced at the time. She still had three hours till Soo Ae returned. "I'll be there."  

*****

Soo Ae was upbeat as per usual when they walked outside. When Sehun returned home last night he'd carefully thought everything out. Namjoo was still Namjoo no matter what had happened. It wasn't anything he could change or undo for her and he couldn't blame her either. Yet, he felt unsettled. Namjoo may have let him back into Soo Ae's life, but it didn't mean she was comfortable with him.  

"Soo Ae," he started upon helping her into the backseat, "is your mother all right this morning?"  

"She seems normal like every day," she enthusiastically replied so innocently. "Why? Is mommy still mad at you?"  

Smiling, he gently bopped her head with his hand, "No."  

"Then that's good!"  

Finally in the driver's seat he glanced into the rearview mirror, "Is there something your mother likes that I don't know? Should we get something for her later?"  

And if he could - even though he knew it was out of his ability - he wanted Namjoo to be happy like Soo Ae.